I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the past. But the past has a funny habit of catching up to you. Lola Ryder proved that.
Lola. The sound of her name stirred up something inside of me, a sweet and wonderful feeling. As I walked around the block, it was a warm day. Spring was just around the corner, but it didn't feel like that. Where was she now? Probably at home, with her kid, Macy. The little girl with the blue eyes.
I hadn't asked Lola about the father of her child-it wasn't my place, and I got the feeling she wasn't going to tell me anyway. But when she did, I was ready to hear.
I wanted to get close to her, wanted to get close to Macy. But we hadn't called or spoken much since that night in the hotel. Besides, I was too wrapped up in my thoughts right now to consider what I might do.
I felt a strange tug of emotion inside me. She was beautiful, kind, and never gave up on me. Lola Ryder, always there when you least expected her. Always smiling, always cheering me up when I was at my lowest ebb.
Shame you aren't married. I'd never even thought about getting married as an adult. I thought it might happen to me-I knew plenty of people back in Philly who'd been married young. I felt sure it was something I could have if I wanted.
And there had even been opportunities. When I dated the actress Katherine Ziegler, she'd asked if it was something I was interested in. I'd made a flat refusal, and that had spelled the end of our relationship. It wasn't that I was opposed to it. It was that I hardly understood what it would mean to be married to someone else.
When my mom died, I'd been completely alone, with no one to tell me what to do, or who I could see.
Eventually I guess I'd just given up on the idea completely.
Shame you aren't married, I thought again. Who would I even get married to? Someone like me? A man who worked eighty hours a week, and never had time for anyone else? Marriage was supposed to be about relying on someone. In my world of luxury suits, skyscrapers and fast cars, who could I rely on? I preferred to put my trust in the stock market than in another person. What did that say about me?
I rounded the corner, and shielded my eyes from the sun. And then, slowly, the possibility revealed itself to me.
There was one person I knew, who I felt I could truly rely on. A woman who filled my thoughts, who distracted me from whatever I was doing. She annoyed me, she irritated me with her constant cheeriness. And yet, she was the only woman I'd met who could ever make me laugh.
A woman I'd met on a rainy night in Bali, six years ago.
A woman whose haunting, pale beauty and glimmering green eyes seemed to follow me everywhere I went. I pictured her now, just the way she'd been the other night. Sensual and beautiful, her body made me feel emotions I barely understood.
Lola Ryder.
I quickened my pace, and began to stride back to the restaurant. A plan was forming in my mind. It would be dangerous. A fraud cop was on my case, and I couldn't slip up. I'd have to be careful. And how would I even begin to convince her that it was a good idea, that she should jump into bed with me?
But if I really cared about my businesses and about my empire. About everything I'd built, and everything I'd carved out of thin air with my own bare hands, I wasn't going to let it be taken away. Not without doing everything I could.
"Hey," said an old man on the street as I came up to the front door of the restaurant. He was dressed in shabby clothes, with a beard. "It's me."
"I'm sorry," I said quickening my pace. "I don't know you." The man just stared at me as I walked quickly away. I was wrapped up in my thoughts, in the thought of what I could do. If I played my cards right, there was a way. A way to save everything.I went back inside the restaurant, running now, and sprinted up the steps to Zeke's office. I didn't think about the old man who'd called out to me on the street. I left him there, on the sidewalk.
In New York, that kind of thing happens all the time.