TRAVIS
Even though I've always wanted children, I've never considered myself much of a baby person.
That has all been blown to hell as I sit here, smiling at the newborn cradled in the crook of my elbow.
Mom forced me to come back home for the birth of my baby brother, Phil's first born. She insisted that I've missed way too much of our major family events. I'm ashamed to say she was right, because I have two other nieces and nephews who I only met in person after their second birthdays.
I had convinced myself that video calls to see the babies was good enough, because they wouldn't know the difference whether I was really there in person or not. However, as I look down at this baby I'm starting to realize the weight of Mom's reproach. These are the things that are important in life. So I'm going to have to make more time for them.
"Stop that, you're being creepy," Phil says.
I look up at him. "What?"
"Why are you grimacing at my daughter? You're going to scare her."
"I'm not grimacing. It's called a smile."
"Well, whatever it is, stop it."
"Yeah, it is unsettling," says my other brother Charlie as he throws another log into the fireplace in the great room of my parent's mansion, the house where we all grew up. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile at a child. Usually you just hiss and run away."
We all laugh and Mom says, "Now, you boys, stop picking on your brother. I think it's lovely that he is so smitten with baby Arabella. Perhaps you're thinking of having one of your own sometime soon?"
Charlie cackles. "The day Travis decides to have a baby is the day hell freezes over. Besides, he's so old. His jizz is probably dust by now."
Mom picks up one of Arabella's stuffed toys from the table next to her and hurls it across the room at Charlie. "Don't be so crude, and Travis can have a baby whenever he wants." She turns back to me. "I actually think you would be a wonderful father."
"I'm not saying he won't be a good father, I'm just saying he is the eternal bachelor," Charlie says.
"Well, no one asked you," Mom snaps.
I neglect to tell them about TJ and my unborn child with Paige on purpose. We are all here to celebrate Phil and his growing family. I don't want to distract from that.
We all spend the rest of the evening making small talk until Phil takes the baby back to her mother and Charlie leaves to go home to his family. Mom and I are left alone.
"Sweetheart, don't let what Charlie said affect you."
I chuckle. "I won't. It's been years since I last took anything Charlie said seriously."
"I just don't want you to think that it's too late for you to have kids if you want them."
I know I had decided not to tell the rest of the family about my kids, but I think I can confide in my mother.
"Mom, I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone for a while."
She sits forward in her chair. "Of course, darling. Go on."
"I'm already a father..."
She sits back and her eyes flutter as if I've just slapped her in the face. "What?"
I run a hand through my hair. "Yeah, when Felicity and I got divorced, she was pregnant, but didn't tell me. She came back not long ago with my son, letting me know that I was a father."
Mom is speechless, probably for the first time in her whole life. "So yeah, I didn't take Charlie's insult seriously because I already am a dad."
Mom takes a calming breath. "That bit-" she stops herself before she can say the full word. "I'm sorry, but I can't believe she would do something like that. You know I've never liked her, but I never thought she would be capable of something like this."
"Yeah, I was surprised too."
She sits back in her chair for a bit longer in thought then she claps her hands together out of nowhere with a huge smile on her face. "What's your boy like?"
I return her smile. "Well, I've only met him twice. The first time was when Felicity brought him to tell me about him, and the second time was just before I came down here. I spent the day with him, and Mom, he's amazing. His name is TJ, as in Travis Junior. He looks just like me and although he's still a toddler, I can tell he's very intelligent. He's also a bit shy, but he's quick to laugh and loves to joke around."
Mom's eyes well up with tears. "That's exactly how you were at that age. I'm so happy for you." Shestands up and walks over to me and spreads her arms. I get up and hug my mother and she cries in my arms.
When we're both seated again I clear my throat and say, "That's not all."
"What do you mean?"
"I haven't mentioned it, but I was seeing someone up until recently. We broke up because I did something stupid. Anyway, she is pregnant."
Mom's eyes actually bulge out of her head. "What?"
"Her name is Paige. I think she's the love of my life and she's pregnant with my child, but we aren't together."
"This is a lot to take in." She wipes her brow with the back of her hand. "Three grandchildren in a 24 hour period..."
"Yes, Mom, I can see how this is overwhelming for you."
She chuckles. "You're right, I'm sorry. So this Paige, you say you love her?"
"Like no one else in the world."
"But you aren't together..."
"No, she broke up with me...well, it's a long story, but yeah, she broke up with me."
"And did you apologize?"
"Yes, but she still says she doesn't want to be with me."
"And whatever it is that you did, was it bad? Like irreparably bad? Did you do something like cheat on her with her sister?"
"Oh my God! No!"
She puts her hands up. "I had to ask."
"No, I didn't do anything like that, but I hurt her."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"Well, what choice do I have? I have to respect what she wants, and she doesn't want to be with me." I shrug.
"Bullshit."
"What?" I blink a couple of times because I think that's possibly the first time I've ever heard my mother swear in my life.
"It's commendable that you want to respect her wishes, but she wants you to fight for her."
"How can you know that? You don't even know her."