[ Rain ]
To say, I wasn't hurt by my husband's aloofness and his contant reminder of I being his imposed wife, it would be a total lie. It hurts a lot, every single moment I feel like my heart is being crushed over and over again.
At this point, I am begin to loose my hope in our marriage. He doesn't even consider me as his house mate. He hasn't abused me physically, he isn't a type of person who does domestic violence but his words and hatred hurt hundreds times more.
Why doesn't he kill me in an instance than killing me in every single moment? Right now, I'm sitting very close to him, this is the first time we're this much close and his pine and old musk scent is a warning bell for my emotions. I can't control myself from stealing glance of his handsome face, the way his lips moves when he talks effortlessly with Mr. Xi Giang's family and caress my hands often.
"So, Rain, you didn't tell us something about you?" Mrs. Giang asks me.
"There's not much to talk about me, Mrs. Giang, trust me." I reply in a low tone.
"Oh dear, of coarse there's lot about you and we want to know what our young man Nicholas's wife do in her spare time, precisely your career." She insists and at this point, I've to speak about myself.
"Go on, love, tell her about your passions. I am sure she loves to hear it from you." He squeezes my hand while talking sweetly. It was a warning sign.
"I love photography, it's my passion but my Dad wanted me to study business. So, I closed my passion in the box of old hobbies and focused on my academics but one day, when I'll be free from my responsibilities, I'd love to persue my dreams, take a world tour and capture the different forms of life in my camera." I don't know if I'm telling this to our guest or the man who's my husband as his eyes flickers an emotion, it passed before I could read it.
"Wow! That's interesting and very surprising to hear from a billionaire's wife in this part of the world where most of the rich women indulge themselves in the lustre of branded dresses, expensive jewelries or doing pomp and show on the name of charity but you're different, Rain. I must say we're impressed by Nicholas's choice of bride." Mr. Giang says. His eyes dance between us in approval.
Should I sigh in relief as I can see the deal coming in our way and may be he'd change his behavior towards me.
"Thanks, Mr. Giang and I admit that I am a very lucky man to have her as my better half." Nicholas looks at me with the look I can only dream.
He's staring at me with a soft emotion. Our eyes bore into each other's for a long moment. I feel lost in those beautiful eyes hidden under thick eye lashes. Our moment is interrupted by a fake cough. I avert my gaze feeling hot inside my body.
"You can continue your pda after we finalize the deal, Nicholas." Mr. Giang smiles teasingly at us.
A huge triumphant smile breaks on my husband's face revealing his dimples for the first time. I feel elated in his happiness. At least, I could be useful to him.
"Why not, Mr. Giang." Nicholas's voice reflects his relief.
"Rain, come on, they're going to talk business. Why should we go and enjoy ourselves at the poolside with the girls?" Mrs. Giang says rising from her seat, her two daughters also join her but I couldn't go with her without getting a green signal from their host, Nicholas Blackwood. It's not like I need his permission but I was too invited and firmly warned to behave nicely.
"Go with her, Rain because you'll be bored in this business conversation." Nicholas gives my forearm a nudge.
"Come with us, Rain. I know you can't get your hands off your man but trust me, my husband will protect him from the evil women." Mrs. Giang jokes pointing at the flirty waitresses and other young females dining on distant tables.
How would I tell her that this man isn't mine. Stealing a last glance of Nicholas and other men, I follow her out of the restaurant to the poolside. The cold air feels refreshing and I take this moment to release the tension I had been feeling since I climbed inside the car with him.
"He will come to you very soon, Rain." I hear Mrs. Giang saying and it forced me to snap my head in her direction.
"Sorry, I..I..didn't get you." I try to act confuse but deep down I know what she exactly meant.
"Oh darling, I bet you did. You and Nicholas don't share a normal couple's relationship. It was quite evident in his behavior. He's only trying to impress my husband for this business deal." She says sitting on a chair near the pool while her daughters engross themselves in taking selfies.
My heart sinks imagening the worst. If he fails tonight, he'd come to me putting all the blame on me and the worst consequences of his wrath shudders my heart.
"But we're impressed by you, Rain. You're a lady with pure heart who supports her husband no matter how edgy your relationship is with him. You fulfill your duties and I am sure one day, that successful businessman will realise what gem he got in you. You have the power to change his heart and make him crawl for you, Rain. Just don't give up on him easily. The man seems a passionate lover." Mrs. Giang says and her words embedded on my mind like a permanent ink.
"He was engaged to my sister. In fact, he loved her with all his passion but she broke his heart and ran away on the day of their wedding. I had to take her place to save our families from humiliation. He doesn't see me the way he used to be with her. He doesn't smile anymore. For him, I am just a liability imposed upon him and no matter how much I am trying to show him that I took the marriage vows with honesty of my heart, he doesn't believe me." I might be a stupid to share my personal life with a stranger but her aura compelled me to share my grief with her.
She places a warm hand over my shoulder.
"You didn't marry him just to save your family's reputation but you love him secretly even before your marriage with him, right?" She asks and it leaves me speechless.
How can she see through me like I am a transparent mirror?
I look down as she's right. I grew to harbor feelings for him since I first saw him at our house. Initially I thought, my parents wanted to arrange a marriage between us as Roselie's career is at it's peak and she'd never risk it for anyone but my hopes shatters when he expressed his wish to marry her.
"Thank you, Mrs. Giang for listening my pathetic story. Sorry, I damp your mood." I half smile at her.
"Oh no! My dear, you didn't spoil my mood but I am glad that we had this heart to heart conversation. You know, mine and Xi's relationship started like yours. We were arranged since our childhood and when the time of our marriage came, he was in love with another girl. He even refused to share the same room as me in the initial days of our marriage and announced that we would divorce each other after an year but I didn't give up on my love. The early days were really tough. He even stayed out for most of the nights and sometimes, I thought to accept my defeat but one unfortunate night, a turning point came in our lives. He met with an accident. He hardly survived but lost his ability to stand on his feet. His girlfriend dumped him the moment she heard the news of his disability but I did my duty as his wife and then he realised my value in his life. Two months later, he expressed his gratitude and love for me and we have been happily married for thirty eight years." She tells me.
I can relate my situation with hers. Am I able to change his heart and make a place for me?
It seems impossible right now as he barely stays at home and whenever he stays, he wants me to hide in my room so we don't see each other.
"Mom, Dad and Mr. Nicholas are waiting you all to come inside. They signed the deal and now it's time for us to leave." Her younger son come to inform us.
We stand up from our seats and make our way inside the hotel.
"Remember my words, Rain. Don't let your love go away. Chase and tame him forever." She whispers in my ear before going to stand beside her husband while I find my place beside Nicholas.
"It was really nice to have you as our guest tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Giang. I am looking forward to our new alliance both in business and in private life." Nicholas stretch his hand for a shake which Mr. Giang reciprocate with a hug.
"Friends for life. I hope our next generations will also continue to cooperate in the future." The old man says.
"Sure, Mr. Giang. My sons and Grandsons will be a loyal trading partner with your family."Nicholas replies warmly.
I feel tingles inside my stomach when he mentions his children. Will he ever want them with me?
After bidding our goodbyes to our guests who left first, he signal me to follow him out of the hotel. The facade is gone. All the soft gestures I received tonight are now memories locked in my heart.
I silently trail behind him as we head out of the restaurant. The clock shows 10:30 at night. We really spent more than three hours with Giang family.
The car is already park at the porch. The valet open the doors for us. Slipping silently inside the car, I only wait for this ride to come to an end as soon as possible.
The strong smell of his perfume indicates that he's also inside the car. Soon we're off to our house.
"Do you really want to become a photographer?"
I hear him asking after a brief silence. Flabbergasted by his unexpected enquiry about my personal life, I slowly nod my head positively.
"Yes, I did. In fact, I admitted myself in a six month's training programe in London but when I returned, my Dad insisted me to study business so I could help him in the future as my siblings chose their own path and it wasn't the business." I tell him without feeling nervous for the first time.
He stares at me for a moment but nod his lead in response. No more words are exchanged throughout the rest of the ride but I feel content by this little progress in our marriage.
One step at a time.