[ Nicholas ]
I wake up by the buzzing sound of my alarm. I feel difficulty in opening my eyes as they burn due to lack of sleep. Yes, nowadays, the personal and professional fiasco has taken a toll over me. I spend hectic busy days and sleepless nights to grab this mega project which may bring us on the zenith of success in the market.
On the other hand, my marriage is also playing with my rational mind. Everyday, I discover a new side of Rain who forces me to reevaluate my narrative about her. She doesn't seem to be a greedy gold digger who is only with me to sink her claws on my wealth.
She is selfless and puts other's happiness over hers. She's shy yet a regal in her won unique way.
A notification alert on my phone brings me out of my thoughts. I stretch my stiff muscles and rub my burning eyes to get rid of the remaining sleep from my eyes though I hardly sleep for three hours.
I have a meeting in an hour with the real estate brokers' company to finalise the price of land on which the project is supposed to start but there are many bidders to pay for the same land.
Competition sucks!
I have spend the last two days discussing the pros and cons of my debate with the brokers. Mason and Xavier helped me through the finer details as they have gone through these situations more often than I.
Last day was the worst of them. We hadn't found a reasonable price to offer which the broker can't refuse and it played a number on my patience level.
And I unleashed it on Rain who only wanted me to join her on a little tour of the city. I said a lot of worse things to her which I didn't intend to say but my anger always brings the worst out of me. I said many demeaning things to her and the ugliest of them was that I confessed my leftover feelings for a traitor.
I admit, in a corner of my heart, I still yearns to find her and seek my answers or perhaps ask her for another chance to become a better version for her.
On the contrary, my mind warns me against my foolish heart. It reminds me of the time when she decided to leave me not caring once for my feelings whereas her sister sacrificed her own life and dreams to save me from humiliation. She could have easily refused to tie herself in a loveless marriage yet she chose her family's reputation over her own happiness.
I find myself on crossroads. One leads me to a future where I can be happy with Rain while the other road may take me on an unknown destination.
I am torn apart between two opposite choices. My own friends advise me to give Rain a chance to see where it leads us but I don't want to give her false hopes as I am not even sure of my own actions.
Yesterday, she finally bursted on me and asked me for a divorce. I should be feelings relived that she, herself wants an exit from this forced alliance but why my heart sinks whenever I picture her divorcing me.
I take a quick shower and make my way out of my room to grab a coffee and check upon her if she's already awake and perhaps try to apologize for my behavior.
The villa is eerily quiet which usually has her melodious voice floating in the air. I prepare two cups of coffees and decide to walk in the backside garden that faces a beautiful view of the mountains.
Like I predicted, I spot her sitting on the swing staring at the mountains in the orange sunlight of the morning. I silently stroll towards her without making a sound.
"Good morning." I wish her forwarding a cup in her direction.
My sudden presence startles her but she doesn't flinch back like the last times which I take as good sign because she quitely takes the cup from my hand.
"Thanks but you didn't have to trouble yourself for me. I already had my morning tea an hour ago." She says plainly. I won't lie, her words pinches something inside me but what else I deserve in the return of my constant rudeness towards her.
"I know but another cup of warm coffee won't harm in such cold weather." I say taking the empty spot next to her.
Silence again fills the air between us but it isn't unbearable like before. I take this moment to observe her closely without making her uncomfortable. She's impeccably beautiful with no make up on her glorious face. The natural tint on her cheeks and nose due to chill in the air and her wild locks waving in the air gives her a look of an angel fallen on earth accidentally. She's far from her sister both in looks and in nature.
"Are you done staring at me." She says after a moment.
I look away in embarrassment as I realize that I've been shamelessly staring at her.
"Is it a crime to look at someone with no lust but admiration?" I ask to cover up for my traitorous heart's blunder.
"No, it's not but when the admiration comes for a wrong person then it surely raises questions." She snaps at me in her polite yet cold voice.
"Please forgive me for last night. I wasn't myself when I lashed out on you and said many derogatory things which I shouldn't had said." I try to seek her apology sincerely and wait for her response.
She takes few more sips of her coffee whereas I'm getting impatient with her unsual silence.
"You don't have to apologize for being honest, Nicholas. You taught me this valuable lesson in my life and I want you to follow the same suit. You said what you actually feels for me and this marriage and it doesn't surprise me though I felt heart yesterday but I think I'm okay now." She says casually and it irks me more.
Why isn't she arguing with me over Roselie's matter?
"You're not angry on me?" I ask to confirm.
"No, I am not not angry on you but on myself. I knew what would happen if I try to push you to accept me or this marriage but I followed my heart and see, where we ended in our last confrontation. I can't force you to fall for me and accept us. You have your own individual life and somewhere our parents did wrong with both of us. I think now, we should make decisions regarding our private life on ourselves. Let us be the judge of our lives for once, Nicholas." She concludes while I remain speechless for a moment.
She's ready to give up on me so easily. Did my words leave deep effect on her?
"I think we should talk about it later, Rain." I say not willing to stretch this unpleasant conversation more.
"Yes, I think you're right because you have your work and I have to go and tour in the mountain ranges, may be I'd go for hiking with the other tourists." She shares her plans with me but never for once asks me to join her.
I always like straightforward talks but today her plain words sinks my heart in the deepest hole.
I did everything in my power to hurt her so she can go away yet I want her close to me. She has the power to complicate my already twisted life and flip my world upside down.
I felt hurt but what else I deserve.
"Can we stop this awkward conversation and do some useful stuff?" I ask not liking her unsual coldness a bit.
"Yes, you can leave if you're done feeling guilty because you don't need to." She replies casually shrugging her shoulders.
"If you can wait, I'd be joining you in a couple of hours. I have only one meeting with my broker in exactly twenty minutes from now and then I'll be free for the rest of the day. You don't know about me so let me tell you that I am a certified hiker." I suggest and cross my fingers to hear a positive answer from her.
She stares at me quizzically for a moment before nodding her head,"Okay, I can wait for a couple of hours but don't ditch me because I am really looking forward to this tour." She says getting up to leave.
"I won't mess up this time, Rain." I whisper but loud enough for her to listen.
She stiffens upon hearing my words but continued walking back inside the mansion while I keep sitting there smiling like a crazy teenager who just tried talking to his crush for the first time.
If only we have met in other circumstances, I am sure we would have a thing between us.
She will be the death of me one day.