“Is it true she came from the home for the rejects? The ones
the vamps all slaughtered.” One of the twins can’t conceal his disgust, and Carmen sneers, a look of anger crossing her face, and throws him a side-eye glare.
“Yes. And our formidable Alpha lowered his standards and tried to mark this mutt. He needs his head read.” Carmen is quick to chirp in with her dislike of me, seething hatred my way. The room feels like it’s closing in as anxiety builds and my panic grows, and I wonder how long before I get cornered and chewed on.
“Oye …” It’s a sharp sound given out to shut her up, Meadow standing to roll her hair between two fingers and facing them with a look of ‘I’m getting so pissed.’ “Don’t disrespect our Alpha’s compañera. Don’t make me mad, Chica. I won’t tolerate it, and neither will he. I don’t like when I get angry.”
Meadow is the scariest femme I have ever come across, and I don’t know why she’s unnerving me so much because she seems pretty sane on the surface. It’s just she has an aura that screams ‘certified psycho,’ and every single time she moves, I flinch internally, getting antsier by the second as she stands so close to me.
Carmen recoils, obviously knowing only too well that Meadow doesn’t make empty threats, and Mateo clears his throat to distract her. He, too, seems like he knows he should diffuse things, and it only heightens my wariness. Some femmes in our packdom are worse than the mates in terms of volatile aggression and ability to maim, and I think Meadow is one.
“Drinks anyone? While we wait on him.” Mateo glances around for takers and gets a couple of quiet nods.
“No, we have otros planes for our little compañera. She needs a little help over here.” Meadow clicks her tongue at me to catch my attention, and when I look up at her, she extends her finger and motions for me to come. It’s creepy and yet an order, and without question, I slide up in my chair, heartbeat elevating and wondering what she plans on doing to me.
“You look like a bag lady who dresses out of the trash, novia. If that’s what Colton has you looking like, you ain’t gonna last long here. It’s not a good look. Come, we have to fix this before I can sit and look at you for any length of time. You’re offending my eyes…. What he do to you? You look like you been working out on our man, huh? Maybe practicing getting marked, huh? Saying goodbye to your poppies and letting his seeds blow up your wind tunnel, eh?” It’s a dirty raspy laugh following a dirty remark, and I flush with embarrassment at her brazen statement as I catch her meaning. Knowing I probably look a little chaotic, I can almost taste Carmen’s seething rage winding my way.
“No. I haven’t let poppy seeds blow or, umm ... err, I ... no.” I retort, face flaming, mumbling, babbling, as excruciating shyness almost kills me. Face reddening and unable to look her in the eye. I can feel Carmen’s eyes boring down on me, waiting for my answer with vicious suspicion. I can feel her poised body getting ready for my takedown if she thinks Colton has touched me sexually. “We’ve done nothing ... nothing.” How can I tell them I turned, ripped him half to shreds, and then called him weak? I don’t think that would go down well with his crew.
“Hmm, disappointing. Well, I can help with that.” She gestures again for me to follow and when I hesitate, eyes roaming the enraged Carmen sitting near the doorway, she catches my sleeve and yanks me. Carmen is poised with a reply to what Meadow said, but I can see she’s holding it in and simmering, despite the knives she’s throwing with her eyes. I’m not sure what the story is between Meadow and Carmen, but I don’t get happy, loving pack mate vibes from either of them.
“Colton will be a while, and my room is not far. We look around the same size if you slightly roll up the legs. I’m sure I have
something that makes you look less … vagabunda.”
“You’ll help her with nothing. She’s not and will never be his mate. You know who he chose and that he rejected her, so stop playing games, Meadow, and leave her be. The trash look suits her because it’s what she is.” Carmen couldn’t hold it for much longer, and that flash of rage has Meadow spinning her way, almost taking me with her.
“Green is not a good color on you, puta! I don’t think you are in any position to make demands, considering whose bed I caught you in. You should thank your stars that I’ve not excised my right to punish such a betraying putilla as you. Don’t make me reconsider it!”
There’s a shocked silence, and Carmen’s eyes dart around the rest of them, apparent shame written across her face as all the others avert and avoid her. They all know, of course, they do, and the silent, tense moment tells me they’re mad at her for betraying Colton as much as he is. In the eyes of wolf law, she committed a sin that is non-comparable to his.
He was bonded, and he kissed his destined mate. She had sex while promised to another, to wound him. She was linked to Colton, and she punished him by defiling their union after he had already rejected the mate the Fates gave him. It is how this works, and our laws on commitment and betrayal are clear. It doesn’t matter how double standard it is.
Packs are weird in they can fight all day long, get aggressive with one another, nip, and tease, but you wind one of them up, they will turn on you even if you’re one of their own. They have a special bond with their Alpha, and I can see Carmen is in the doghouse. None of them like her right now.
“You have less than half an hour before Colton most likely shows. You know Juan likes to keep things short.” Mateo points out, and Meadow claps her hands happily.
“Plenty of time. Come, we have some girl stuff to do. Carmen isn’t welcome. She can sit over there and think about what she’s done.” Meadow tosses her hair back, that long sleek hair shining as it flies over her shoulder sassily, throwing her a pointed look and leading the way, yanking me with her once more. Cesar and Jesús, still standing in the entranceway, move out of the way, and I catch the slight up and down appraisals as they size me up in passing.
The twins’ eyes follow me, and although it’s not outright hostility, I can tell none of the males, except for maybe Mateo, are sure they want me here. I’m an outsider to them, an intruder to their pack, and not worthy of being bonded to their Alpha.
As soon as we get to the hallway, Meadow slides her arm in mine and hauls me close, a little aggressively for my liking. Leaning in, so her perfume and natural wolf scent mingle and hit me with a heady concoction.
“I know we’re supposed to follow Juan in his hatred of all the orphans he threw behind the mountain, but I lost family in that war, and it could well have been me. Some of us were lucky enough to see some come back. I don’t believe that only our strongest bloodlines came home for a second. You can trust me, amiga. I’m not like most of the pack. I have a mind of my own.” She whispers it in hushed silence and throws me a soft look that, despite feeling her crazy vibes, rings true. She has an underlying kindness, and I can feel it when we’re this close. “Colton’s a good boy, but he’s also Juan’s son. He knows his place in the pack, and he knows if he defies his father and breaks that kind of respect for our laws, he’ll never have the respect when his time comes to lead. I know what he wants, and I know why he can’t have it. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to have a little fun and make him suffer.” A smile, wink, and almost mischievous laugh, and I frown in confusion. Unsure if I should question her or not. If she is close to Colton, I have no idea what she means about having fun and making him suffer.
She leads the way, pulls me with her up a stair and then down a left hall before we come to a polished wooden door with her name staring back at us from a polished and engraved gold plate. The scent up here is mainly female, and I guess they keep the sexes on different floors, although Cesar’s scent lingers around the door, and I guess because they’re mated, he gets to stay in here, too. Being mated is marriage, and once you’re marked, no one has the authority to stop you from being together in every way, every second of every hour.
“I’m the queen of hair and makeup, and you, mi amiga, need a little Santo makeover because, like it or not, you’re now our pack and our problem. As long as you live, so does Cole, and it’s our job to keep it that way. That means you need to fit in and look the part ... not like this.” She gives me an up-down eye flicker of disapproval and an exaggerated expression of ‘yuck.’ She scans her palm, pushes open the door, and leads the way inside. Flicking on a light switch and grinning when it comes on.
“They finally replaced mine, thankfully. That was some show you put on in the hallway and some mess you made. Impressive! I think you smashed every glass bottle I owned.” She wiggles away from me to a dresser and rifles through the contents, throwing me a devilish smile. I relax a little, nerves winding down and anxiety untangling my internal organs, easing into the aura that surrounds her. There’s something infectious and alluring that pulls you in and makes you feel like you can open up to her, and I stand awkwardly by the door, watching her.
“I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know what happened or how I did it. Colton thinks I …” I revert into excuses, ingrained from years of being a reject.
“I know what he thinks. Colton tells me everything, and I mean everything! I know he thinks you have an absorption gift, and I’m guessing his lack of presence this afternoon was when he came to you to test his theory. How did that go? Or is what I’m looking at the result of getting down and dirty and distracted?” She has the filthiest way of laughing that implies sexual innuendos and the crudest mindset, turning any sentence into a much more loaded one with just a chuckle, and I blush again.
“We haven’t had sex. We haven’t done anything since the first time he kissed me. He pushed me to turn and figured I can do what he says, effectively.” I don’t know how much information I should give away, as I don’t know her, but I can find nothing in my mind to tell me that Colton doesn’t trust her. She’s his second in command, and I’m sure that comes with the highest kind of bond.
“No, he won’t, not if he ain’t gonna mark you. Colton may be many things, but he’s very straight in upholding a moral code. He can be spoiled, a little self-absorbed, and the center of his own universe, but he has a code, and he’s the kinda guy who would drop everything to have your back if you needed him. He’s not like his father, but he cowers a little in his shadow. He’s young still. I hope he grows out of it soon. Becomes the man that’s hidden inside the boy.”
I nod at that because I know it’s true, even I can see and admit it, and jump when she spins back at me, holding up seethrough lace scraps. I can’t even tell what they are.
“Black or red, Chica? A good feeling starts with sexy lingerie, and I’ve never yet worn either, so you can have one.”
My eyes bulge out of my skull a little, and my mouth runs dry.
“Umm.” I clear my throat, shifting from one foot to the other, and try to stop gawping at what she’s holding. It doesn’t look like there’s enough of any of what she’s holding to cover even a tiny part of me. There is no belief that it’s a complete set of lingerie or that she buys the right size to cover her assets.
“Let me guess. You’re a tidy-whites and sports bra kinda girl? Do you even own a push-up bra or a thong?” I catch the jest in her tone as she mocks me and rolls her eyes as I shake my head, eyes wide and utterly shell-shocked that we are even discussing my underwear habits. I mean, we only just met, and apart from the fact I thought all Santos hated my kind, here she is trying to gift me her underwear.
“Ay, Dios mio!” she mutters to herself, with a hint of disappointment. “Colton seems more like a black lace kind. The boy has hidden kinks for sure. So, we’ll go with that. It has a little push to give your sisters some lift.” She wiggles her breast with one hand to demonstrate and tosses the black scrap towards the four-poster bed.
“I really don’t need …” I stammer out, embarrassed to the core, but she shushes me mid-refusal of uplifting man traps with a finger jab, and I fall silent, too intimidated to continue arguing.
“Okay ... so now we need something sexy but casual. Not trying too hard, but has to make him think about banging you whenever he sees you.” She wanders to a closet and yanks it open. Enjoying this makeover a little too much and getting into it.
“I don’t want to make him ... bang me.” I point out, unable to believe we’re having this conversation, and all I get in reply is a hearty sexy laugh.
“Oh, I know, and knowing him, he won’t. Whether you want a man to bang you or not is beside the point, Chica. You have sexuality and the goods to make men want you. Work it, play a little. Make Colton regret the day he ever said I don’t. I mean, why make it easy on the boy when it’s so much more fun to make him squirm.” She swings her hips and makes a pelvic thrusting jerk, giggling at her own motion, and goes back to hauling clothes out of the closet and throwing them across to the bed between us. My nerves catapult to the ceiling as I watch an array of small clothing items flying by with low-cut or short-almost-not there-cut.
“I don’t want to play games or make this hard for him. He made his choice, and I don’t, I mean, I’m not …” I stammer awkwardly, really overheating with shame at the skimpy choices she’s laying out. She shushes me again with a finger on her lips and fixes me with a penetrating look, resting her hand on her hip and leaning into it.
“I get it. A good girl just trying to find her place somewhere she don’t wanna be. You’re a virgin, and you think all there is, is a marked mate or eternal untouched while you wait to be marked.
Why are you pushing yourself into the shadows and becoming invisible? You’re a pretty girl. You’ve more right than Carmen to be in our pack, and trust me, nothing will piss her off more than to see you take your place, making our Alpha more besotted with you than he already is. “
“You don’t like her much, do you?” I blanch at her and can’t get my head around this. She doesn’t seem like she has all that much care in her heart for someone who’s run with their sub-pack for two years, since Carmen paired up with Colton.
“She was never my choice. We’ve never warmed. A stupid girl, far too jealous for her own good, tried to damage my bond with Colton. She made that mistake one too many times, and now, she don’t got herself a sister who is sad to see her pushed out. She brings nothing but drama to our unit. She needs to go.” Meadow stops throwing items my way and sighs heavily, her eyes darting back at me, and she delivers a soft smile.
“I have an ulterior motive, Chica. For this …” She waves her arms around us at the chaos of clothes and comes back to stand in front of me, reaching out and tugging a strand of my hair through her fingers.
“Which is?” I ask brazenly, feeling somehow deep down that I can trust her. There’s something about her that tells me she’s not my enemy.
“Juan has given Colton an order. By the next cycle, he has to have marked Carmen and put an end to this. The moon is full in less than two weeks, and he’s looking for every reason to delay this and convince his father that he doesn’t want that bond. He wants to be with you, and he can’t keep denying it. I’m sorry, Chica.” Meadow seems devastated over her confession, genuine sympathy in that narrowed brow and glistening eyes.
“What?” It overwhelms me, insides churning in that agonizing way I felt when he and I were apart, and silent, painful tears roll slowly down my cheeks. It almost winds me as it falls out of my mouth, her face falling sad as a droplet glistens in her eye more obviously.
“Juan has no right to force that of him, but Colton, he needs a shove. He needs to stop obeying everything he commands and fight for his right to choose his mate. The law is on his side in this. Juan oversteps his boundaries all the time, and Colton is so used to toeing the line and obeying that he doesn’t even think he can question it.” Her anger simmers below the surface, yet I feel it vibrating from her as it fuels my own.
“Juan is forcing him to mark Carmen before the next full moon, even though they’re no longer even dating?” It’s almost a sob as pain slices into my throat and threatens to choke me. Legs give out, and I stumble to the bed nearby to slump down heavily, stunned by the reality of this. “He didn’t tell me.” I heave in some air as the tears wrack my body, and Meadow comes to perch beside me, running her hand down my hair, trying to console me.
“I think Colton is hoping he can convince him of another way before that time comes. That your gift is enough to show him you’re special.” She soothes quietly.
“Juan will never accept me, even with a special power. Juan hates anything to do with my kind.” I don’t know where it comes from, but a world of pain floods my heart and twists my insides in such an excruciating way I think my heart stops beating. I can’t bear to think about him marking her for all eternity. I don’t know what that would do to our bond or how much that would kill me, but suddenly, I see what she hints at.
She thinks dressing up and looking good will turn his head more than it already is. Make him want me more in hopes he will find the will to stand up and claim what is rightfully his. Maybe push his lust buttons enough to force his hand, to mark me in the heat of passion like he almost did that night in the study. When the hormones of imprinting were at their strongest.
Colton isn’t like that, though, and I don’t think flirting and sashaying around in skimpy clothes will alter his commitment to honor and obedience. Especially not now the insane need and hunger have faded to manageable levels. It only stays that strong in the first days to ensure the mark is made.
That first kiss was hormone-fueled after the imprint was so new. It’s calmer now. The feelings settle in, and the raging lust gives way to a deeper connection. That’s how it works. It’s meant to make you complete the bond with sex and marking because you can’t control the need for each other. It then fades to love, respect, and taking care of each other, with a less intense appetite for sex. I can’t make him lust crazy like that again and push him to defy his father with some makeup and a pair of booty shorts. He has way more control than most.
“We can’t fight this. Colton has to be the one, and he is a little preoccupied with vampire wars and changes to everything now.” I point out dejectedly, sighing heavily with my own logic.
“Look, I’m going to level with you. I don’t want that skanky puta becoming a permanent fixture in my sub pack. I loathe her and have done since Colton brought her in. If sexing you up gets Colton to find his spine and maybe at least delay this somehow, we can find a way to change Juan’s mind together. We’re his pack. And whether the boys agree with this or not, they got his back and mine. Carmen was never one of us. I saw what you could do in the hallway, and if that was an ounce of untrained, uncontrolled gift, then there’s no telling how much power you have inside of you, Chica. I know about your eyes, and that has to mean something. There are rumors about wolves from a time gone by with special gifts and blood-filled eyes we cannot ignore.”
“I’m not special. I’m scared and out of my depth,” I admit honestly, taking comfort from her stroke skimming my hair repetitively. Meadow has a maternal quality, and I think that’s the feeling that’s pulling me to her. She has the same spirit my mom had, the exact fierce but gentle nature. She takes no crap, and she has an aura that tells you she’s loyal to a fault, bold with her opinions, yet a heart that’s always at the core of her plans. It’s been missing from my life for so long.
Colton may be the boy to follow his father, but I know he’s trying to find a way to be with me, even after he rejected me. I have a hold over him that runs deep, that neither can fight. If I gave him more, gave him a reason to throw all in, then maybe he would find it inside of him to defy him and mark a mate on the full moon that isn’t Carmen. Until now, I’ve let him be the one to keep pulling us together. Maybe that’s why he’s able to resist. Maybe Meadow has a point.
I’ve been distant, mad at him, and combative. I haven’t made any of this easy, and, at times, I’ve pushed him away. Maybe she’s right and not in the dress sexy way, but perhaps I need to strengthen our bond and pull him to me. Apply the affection he shows me and give him a reason to fight for us. Encourage him.
All I have is how he feels about me, and I know that sex with your fated does something more when you finally come together. There’s a second level of imprinting when you unify. I should aim for that, seduce him, even if I’m not sure he’ll yield, and Meadow isn’t sure either.
She doesn’t see how hard he tries to keep his hands to himself, and maybe with a push, I can prove us both wrong. Unify my mate, and solidify his mindset into marking me, no matter what Juan says. I belong with him, and my future in this pack, these lands, all rely on getting this out of the way and having him finally unite us.
Juan can go to hell. I need to get Colton to man up. Once that’s done, his father can’t do a damn thing about it, and it can’t be undone without killing us both. His hands will be tied, and then we can focus on the impending war and all that comes with it. This needs to be done.
“Show me how to put these on.” I pick up the scraps of lace and wipe my face with the back of my hand, pulling myself together with some kind of plan. Be it a haphazard one. As Meadow said, it’s a step to stop hating on him and start encouraging him to find his spine.
Your mate is supposed to help you grow, and until now, he’s the only one doing anything like that. It’s my turn to help Colton find his strengths.
“Now you’re talking. Seduction, Chica, is a tried and tested weapon that no man can deny for any length of time when it’s from the woman he already loves. Ignore Carmen. Her time has passed, and she broke his trust. She brought shame to our pack when she slept with TJ. Colton can never bond to her.”
I inhale sharply, that name registering as I run through my memory bank and stop on a face to go with it. I know who he is, and I can see why Colton’s remaining feelings for Carmen died a death. TJ is Colton’s first cousin, his direct blood, and was raised as a brother to him. He’s Juan’s younger brother’s son, and at twenty-eight, he’s an Alpha to another sub pack. He’s always had a subtle sibling rivalry with Colton, and I guess he saw an opportunity for the upper hand. That had to have stung and wounded Colton so profoundly.
I now know why Colton never named and shamed and made their betrayal public. Juan would never allow him to bring a black mark to his bloodline like that, and his insistence to still mark Carmen as Colton’s mate is proof, he’s trying to act like it didn’t happen. He denies our laws to suit his purpose. He would rather see his son bonded to someone who shamed his pack than see him connected to me.
Screw you, Juan.
If learning to seduce Colton puts him in place to defy him, then I’m throwing myself in and not coming back out until it’s done. That boy is mine, and I have all kinds of pull to make him beat to the march of my drum, a strong, loud thrum that will drown out Juan’s tenfold.
Bring it on, Santo.