The warm sensation sliding around me, and the sudden weightlessness I experience wakes me up before his
voice does. A feeling of floating as everything comes back to me, and my brain re-engages with my limbs as warm hands and body transfer heat to mine.
“Baby, we’re here. Wake up.” Colton’s honey tone slides over me as his scent submerges me in a comfortable, firm hold, submerged in his delicious scent that makes me giddy, and I blink my eyes open to find myself in his arms while being scooped out of the truck as he stands by my door. The night is cloaking around us, but the illumination in front of me makes my eyes blurry as I try to adjust and screw them shut quickly. Taking a moment to savor that in-between awake and dreaming state. He has me in his arms, pressing me to him, one under my legs and one around my back while my face is in against the crook of his throat, nestling me in as the cool air brings me round fully.
I impulsively slide my hands up his expanse of hard chest, searching for a place to anchor myself, aiming to slide around his neck when sense fully awakens me, and I realize this is probably not wise when my heart is so bruised. Getting tangled up with Colton is not what I need. It’s far too easy to accept his touch and willingness to add intimacy to the mix, but I have to be stronger than him.
“I can walk. Put me down.” I croak hoarsely, my sleep-addled tone heavy, and wriggle to free my legs. Resisting even if it’s feeble, and thankfully he isn’t fighting me.
After a moment of hesitation, Colton relents, sliding my feet to the ground carefully, but he keeps me anchored to him with the arm around my waist and tugs me front on. Bodily closes the gap between us and lifts his other hand to stroke my cheek as he leans in to bridge the height difference. Rendering me momentarily senseless, as that burning connection makes my knees buckle almost wholly. He cups my face and pulls me in, bringing his forehead down to mine, and pushes us together intimately. Our breaths mingle in the cool air, and I’m overly aware of how dangerously close this is. A little inch more, and we’ll kiss. Caught tired, slow in reaction speed, and somehow feeling vulnerable at waking up to his touch.
“When my mom’s settled in the infirmary, we need to talk. We need to figure this out and fix us. I missed you more than you’ll ever know, Lorey. I’m never letting you go again.” His eyes stray to my lips, and that crazy, overwhelming urge to lean in and take what he’s pondering doing almost kills me. My lips part slightly as the tug of desire pulses through me with hunger, and I’m powerless to pull back when caught in his breath this way.
His touch goosebumps my skin all over, the low intensity of his voice drawing me in as if no one else exists around us, and I almost weaken to the point of melting into him. My pelvis and between my thighs heat to molten lava at this kind of contact with him, and I almost have to press my knees together to gain some control. The haze is approaching, and I guess it’s already screwing with my libido, or maybe it’s always just him, and I’m still a weak fool for this man. More so when caught off guard and too tired to think straight. So easy when this feels so right, but I catch myself and finally muster the strength to pull back, covering his hand with mine and sliding it from my face.
“Colton …” I start to rebuff him, but he doesn’t let me loose as easily as he put me down.
“We can’t ignore how we feel about each other. That we’re meant to be.” It’s a hint of desperation in his ravaged tone, mirroring my urges, his jaw tensing and squaring off, which only makes those irresistible dimples prominent. Those lowering brows bring out the cute-boy face—leaning closer and making it harder to breathe when my senses are filled with him. It sparks that self-defense mechanism in me, though, that urge to run far away before he cripples me again, and I slide my hands between us and push him away with enough force to get him to release me.
“Why not? You did!” I bite, stepping back coldly, as his hold drops and the sweep of hurt and regret is evident on that flawless face. It tugs at me, slicing my heart with a sharp stab, but I don’t weaken, pushing my pain and agony away and refusing to break. He can go to hell if he thinks he can be mated elsewhere but still have a side chick, so he doesn’t have to live with the mistake. I won’t be some dirty secret that has to steal moments with him, and share him with her, just because he didn’t manage to break our bond by taking another. I’m not doing this, no matter how much I yearn for him or still love him. I have more respect for myself than that, and I won’t be one of those wolves who disgrace themselves by committing adultery with a mated, even if we were destined.
He broke this, not me. He made his choice, no matter what his reasons were. It can’t be undone.
“You’re angry, hurt, and upset ... all valid, and I understand why. If you need time to forgive me, Fine. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m not giving up. I need you, and I’ll earn your forgiveness, no matter what it takes.” Colton is back in serious, soft-faced, high school, hot boy mode, and I shake it off.
I ignore him, trying to blot out words that wound me to the core and turn to walk away, but he catches me by the wrist and stops me in my tracks—tugging me back slightly and igniting further fury. Burning, searing touch that was invented to torture me by being both the best feeling in the world and the worst. That bubbling temper dominates the pit of my stomach, but before I can turn to tell him to back off, my thoughts are interrupted by a high voltage distraction.
“Chica!!” Meadow comes bounding from nowhere, darting at me like a lioness pouncing its prey, like a freight train and a tornado all in one, and sweeps between us, hauling me off my feet in a bear hug that momentarily dazes me and spins me around with alarming strength for a girl shorter than me. “Dios mío, niña, te extrañé mucho.”
She’s strong and persistent in her very aggressive affection. She smothers me in Latino love, squeezes me so my ribs almost crack under the strain, and then dumps me on my feet to grab me by the face with an insane grip. She kisses me all over my cheeks, nose, and forehead like an overbearing momma, and it’s a furiously fast barrage that doesn’t give me a second to counteract. I can only screw my eyes shut, pucker up my face to protect my poor features, and accept this ambush while trying to unhook her fingers around my cheeks before she leaves bruises.
“Mead … ddd … ooww.” I try to wriggle free of those clawlike hands, and the lipstick smeared attack on my face, giggling wildly at the ridiculousness, but she’s relentless. Finally, once I’m sure every inch of my face is in matching rouge red from her lips, she lets me loose.
“Oh, my God, my baby girl, she’s come to me, and now I can die happy knowing my Hermana is home.” She’s being overdramatic, her accent heavier than usual with the surge of emotion she’s spewing. She’s still holding me in her arms, but I have to say the feeling is mutual. I’ve never been so happy to see another femme in my life. I throw myself at her for a second hug, this time one I can take part in, and she squeezes me once more so I get to wrap my arms around her properly.
I can tell Colton has moved away as his invasive presence releases the stranglehold on my heart and a glance tells me they’re at the rear, removing his mother’s bed as members of the pack move in to help. There’s a lot of chatter as people figure out who’s coming out of the truck, and I can feel the whispers spreading through the pack as the atmosphere is charged with shock and excitement. I can see some pulling out the machines and cabinet and putting ramps in place. A hive of activity over there, with Doc directing with that unique accent of his above the drone, issuing orders to his new mass of helpers.
“Let me look at you.” Meadow drags my attention back to her and pushes me back to arm’s length, and even though it's dark out here, lights from the vast, towering house standing tall in front of us illuminates this area enough that we can see each other with clarity. That was the light that hurt my eyes when I woke up.
“You look so good, so healthy. Your hair has grown, you're losing your puppy face, and … oh, God! What are you wearing?” Meadow's face and tone altogether drop as her eyes run up and down my attire, and she visibly gawps. The look of sheer disgust which envelops her expression makes me laugh.
“Escape clothes!” I shrug under her scrutiny, amused by how she’s now holding the arm of my sweater between two nails like it’s a dirty rag, and lets go before rubbing her fingertips as if to expel the grime. I’m not dirty, but her reaction is priceless as she shakes her head at me.
“Why do you keep letting that boy pick your clothes, huh? It’s not a good look. Colton has no taste for female things. I mean, he dated Carmen for two years, which says it all, Chica.” She bobs her head from side to side, waving a pointy red nail in the air, and I let out an involuntary snort-laugh. She’s so ’hood sometimes; I love her to bits.
“He didn’t. Dress me, I mean. He found me like this. It’s all I had to hand.” I look down, pulling at the gray sweats a little as I take in my baggy outfit and oversized boots, but it’s not as bad as she’s making out.
“We need to remedy that. Once we get our Luna inside and comfortable, you and I need to burn these. Maybe bury them and perform some kind of last rites.” She tugs at the hemline of my sweater and then runs a set of talons through my hair to push it off my face and draws me back to her. “You do look different, though ... like you only left for a few weeks, but you’ve grown in years. You look beautiful and less tortured. My baby’s growing up so fast.” It’s an insightful perspective, but she’s right. These past weeks, I felt like I’ve matured and grown as a person in subtle ways. Eating less, exercising more, I probably look slimmer. And I knew I had shed puppy fat while being out there in the wild.
I’m no longer in that frame of mind that I’m some feeble no one that isn’t important. I know I’m the center of something, and this is where I need to be for now. I’m not sure about being less tortured given my current situation: cheating mate, relearning my past, and finding out my entire pack was murdered. I would say I’m just handling it better than I would have a few weeks ago. I feel mentally stronger.
“Why, thank you, although I’m tired. I need sleep. I must look a wreck, but you’re right. We need to get Sierra inside.” I nod to where they all seem to have everything under control. Catching sight of the bed coming into view and Colton stuck to his mom’s side, her hand in his once more, even though she is still dead to the world. He’s looking at her with so much adoration and fixated that it makes me feel wholly broken as I watch him. A longing for that without complication, without this mess between us. To have him look at me the way he’s looking at her, that unconditional love that’s so hard to find.
We move out of the way as they swing past, and I flatten against the truck as the entire entourage gets by us and follows close behind, meadow sliding her hand in mine and guiding me with her to tag on at the end when they get past.
“Ahh, Alora.” A voice comes from my side, and then I’m divebombed by an enthusiastic male who footballer-style wrestles me into a hug before I’m hit from behind by another. Equal stealth and strength, and I almost fall over with the weight of two heavy boys hugging the life out of me. Unable to breathe and unsure if this is an attack, I crumple almost to my knees.
Domi and Remi nearly choke me to death, ruffling my hair, picking me up between them before I get ground into the mud, and I get a kiss on each side of my face in unison. Sloppy, wet, a bit eww, but overall, it’s kind of sweet.
“Our little sister came home. Our puppy!” They both state in synchronized perfection, sounding like a melody in their singsong playfulness. I get yanked from side to side, set on my feet, and then let go just as Cesar appears in front of me, Meadow moving aside with a look of joy on her face and smiling like a proud mother.
“Don’t you ever do that again, Missy! Do you know how worried your pack has been?” Cesar swoops between the twins, his accent as equally heavy as his mate’s and a stern, paternal tone to match that serious frown he is giving me. He gives me a less ferocious cuddle, a quick squeeze, and a kiss on the cheek before he pulls back and the rest of the sub pack seems to appear around me.
Mateo, Radar, Jesús all crowd in at me, and I guess they were part of our escort to get us here. All of them take it in turns to lean in and welcome me back with a quick embrace and a peck on the cheek, a few words of welcome until I’m blushing and awkward with all this attention.
“We missed you. Don’t run like that again. We’re your pack, man. We were all crazy worried.” It’s Jesús, and he bops me on the head with a soft fist and shakes his head at me, a real frown on his face that shows his genuine emotion.
“Yeah, kid, little pups like you shouldn’t be out there alone!” Cesar reiterates his earlier statement.
“Colton has been unbearable, dude. You, girl, are getting chained to him, so we don’t have to endure that again.” Mateo pushes the twins aside and clears a path in front of me as he tries to move us along, and Meadow ducks into the center beside me, catching my arm in hers and starts walking me in behind the boys as they turn and begin leading the way. Some turn to walk backward as they interact and throw me smiles and genuine looks of relief that I’m home. I can feel it all around me that it’s real and honest. My adopted pack's genuine relief and love swell my heart so much it hurts. None of them are faking it at all, and I don’t question where that particular femme of Colton’s is because, right now, I don’t want to know, and I don’t care.
“You missed a war. Colton put his daddy on his ass. It was epic.” Jesús seems a little too gleeful over that fact, skipping sideways in front of me somewhat boyishly, and Mateo shoves him in the shoulder playfully, out of the way. A warning tone to his words.
“Shut up. Colton hears you talking like that, he’ll put you on your ass. You know how sensitive he is about all this right now.”
“Yeah, pipe down, bro; he’s only a few feet ahead. Have some respect.” Radar, the voice of reason, leans in; he pats me on the arm in afterthought, with a nod, and a wink, to say, hey. That always terrifying white eye, blank, dead, but his good one is kind of shiny and happy, and it makes him a little less scary to look at. The scar isn’t as much of a visual draw as when I first met him, and he steps in, speaking a little lower, nearer my ear.
“Welcome back … and thank you. For finding her. She’s been missed for so long; some of us were losing hope.” There’s a strange tone in what he says, a distant look in his eye, and as he talks, his gaze wanders to the bed ahead of us. He shoots off instantly to catch something one of the trolley pushers drops. Scooping it up before it hits the ground and merging into that hobble of people to replace it on the bed.
“Radar always had a thing for Sierra. You’ve no idea how much this means to him for her to be home.” Meadow whispers in my ear, hushed, so the rest don’t catch on. Like it’s some unknown secret, and I quizzically glance her way.
“What? Isn’t he too young? Aren’t they like son and mother age?” I flash a look at him again in the crowd, then back to her in confusion, but she shakes her head.
“Radar is our Papi. Every pack has a mature mentor. He’s older than all of us, mid-thirties. He went to war as part of Luna’s guard. He got that scar on his face by protecting her with his life, and it almost ended him. Goddamn silver and wolfsbane, I shudder to think. He’s always been a slave to Sierra and never mated because his heart lies with her, devoted and loyal. It’s kinda sad to be that crushed on someone; even in their absence, you still pine for them.” Meadow is hushed, but the torn tone of genuine empathy drags through her voice, a hint of actual pain for her packmate.
“They had an affair?” I gasp, my head spinning at that point alone, and I can’t help but stare back at Radar in the people before us, seeing him in a whole new light. He’s not exactly ugly or unattractive. That scar is a major, but he has a nice face despite it, and a robust and tall build, like Colton. I guess the white eye makes him a little badass in that rugged, hero-type way.
“No, you know the laws on adultery with a mate bonded wolf. Radar is straight down the line, not a rule breaker. He never told her, so she never knew; he never even dared to look her in the face all those years because he was completely submissive in the hierarchy to her. It’s forbidden for the guards to look upon the Alpha’s mate and make eye contact. The Luna had many guards, and he just blended in, I guess. He was the only one of her guard to make it back alive, though, probably because he was so badly wounded and recovering that he was taken down and missed the last battle they ever fought. The Luna’s guards were all massacred in that last fight. Then everyone came home, but she had gone before he recovered enough to regain his duties.” Meadow shrugs, retelling what she knows, and I inhale heavily as pieces click in place, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Juan probably had them all slain too, because they would have been loyal to their charge. Their Queen. She was their focus, not Juan, and Radar escaped only down to being almost dead. This means he missed what happened with my mother and knows nothing of what Juan did. He would be dead too if he’d been there, which removes any doubt that he was ever involved. He didn’t even get the chance to save her from being sent away. I think if he had been, he would have died to rescue her all over again.
However, the adultery thing highlights how much Colton doesn’t respect or care about me if he expects me to throw aside the laws and have an affair with him, anyway. He’s an asshole of the highest order if he thinks that’s a solution to him marking that puta. We all know the shame it carries, and I could be completely exiled from this pack if we went through with it. His Alpha role would dissolve, and he too could be dethroned to live in shame. He can’t have his cake and eat it.
I blink in Radar’s direction, trying so hard to get my head around this new information as we sweep into the brightly lit grand foyer of a massive entranceway of this so-called homestead. It’s amazing and huge. Prehistoric and the décor is old-world witch, but I don’t doubt it can house a vast amount. I mean, the manor Colton grew up in was more of a castle and housed hundreds; this is small in comparison, but still a freaking castle in its own right.
The hubbub of the crowded hall and the wave of bodies moving around and up and down the stairs as the word spreads their long-lost Luna is back makes this place feel pretty overwhelming. However, it’s not enough to distract me from watching Radar follow the group. Stopping when they get so far as Colton and Doc wheel Sierra’s bed towards a narrow hall to the left.
“I should go with them.” I nod after them as more of the group of helpers drop off, leaving a bare minimal body count to turn her bed into a door. Mainly Colton, the doc, and a couple of femmes who are helping with the cabinet and her machines.
“Yeah, you should. We’re all going to go back out on patrol of the borders to watch for your tail; we have to keep this place safe. Tell Colton to link me when he wants me back to take care of you and find you some decent clothes. I’m sure right now Sierra is his priority.” She clasps my hand tightly, squeezes it, and leans in to kiss me on the forehead before nodding towards the door that Colton and his skeleton crew went through.
“Meadow … I’m so glad to be back,” I say honestly, an afterthought, as she moves away, warmed by the tearful smile she gives me and that little rub of my shoulder to say it’s all going to be okay. Despite everything, even finding out that I could survive out there alone, I have missed her and being around people. Being in a warm and safe place, I don’t have to hunt for my meals anymore. It reminds me of what a pack can be like. I can do it alone. I just prefer this, not out there. Being here reinforces it. I don’t want to go back out and disappear anymore. Everything’s different, and I don’t want to leave again.
“We are all happy to see you back. I made a mistake in letting you leave. Colton is still trying to forgive me. Don’t do it again.” She laughs, but there’s a serious edge to her tone and a look that hints at an actual warning.
“I’m not planning on it. All of this is bigger than us now. Priorities have changed.” I point out, and she exhales with another nod.
“Good, because he’ll strap your ass to him and put guard duty on you twenty-four-seven if he even gets a hint you might take off again. That boy is not playing no more, Chica!” That head wobble and finger point always make me smile at her, but I ‘hmm’ then gesture I should go. I don’t care right now what Colton thinks or wants. I need to see what’s going on and then sit. I only dozed in the truck for a short time, and I’m physically exhausted and could do with a moment to get used to this buzzing house. After weeks of nature and solitude, this human chaos is a bit much to get my head around. This whole thing is mentally overwhelming, and sleep is all I want, even though I’m not going to get it for a while.
I head after Colton, trace their steps down a hallway, and turn right through the door they went to, which takes me along a short hall, through two double doors into a proper infirmary. It’s already like a mini-hospital wing, which is weird given our kind’s ability to heal, so I guess this is from when the witch side of Colton’s family stayed here. It’s white, large, yet crowded with cabinets full of potion bottles on every wall. Some of it looks dated, but mostly there are modern additions, obviously brought by Colton’s medics who are hurriedly wading in and helping move Sierra to a central bed that’s more substantial than the one she’s on.
Wolf packs do have medical staff and doctors. We sometimes need them, especially in the younger ages when we have not yet turned, and we catch diseases or get injured. We’re vulnerable in youth, much like mortals are. It’s irresponsible for a pack not to have the means to protect all in our group.
They switch over her machines to full-size ones, change her tubes, and hang up her saline bag on a trolley to the side. Some of the wolves already in here file out, gazing longingly her way and nodding at Colton as they leave. I know the link between pack members is generally the preferred mode of communication, but it sucks that, to me, it’s a silent wall. I watch in envy as so much translates between them, but I hear nothing.
I miss pack linking and the sense of unity it gives you as a whole; it reminds me I’m never really going to be part of this pack. Colton could initiate me in now he’s Alpha and has that power, and I could maybe link that way, but once his mate gets a whiff I’m here, I don’t doubt world war three will erupt. She’ll never let him put me in the pack to have more of a bond with him.
I don’t know where she is, but she has to be around here somewhere. After all, she is his Luna now. Mates never stray far apart, and as the Luna, her job is to care for the vulnerable in this massive palace. She probably got left behind here when he came for me because he knew she would aggravate the situation and make things worse. Not that it needs much help.
Doc moves in to talk with a woman in a white coat I recognize from the Santo medical center in the valley. She has two nurses flanking her as they busily squirrel around, put trolleys away, and sort out the haywire mess of machines they’ve taken from Sierra. Tidying up and making her ready for her new stay here. I stand back to watch as they settle her, and the transition is complete.
Colton pulls over a high stool to the head of her bed and perches down beside her, oblivious to me over here, leaning in and saying something softly as he strokes her hair back, fully locked on her face as everyone else seems engrossed on the care plan they’re discussing. I can hear Doc listing medications and withdrawal key points, step-by-step what they need to do over the next few hours, but all my attention is on that solitary, strong, broad figure with his back to me and that longing pulling me to comfort him.
Despite everything going on, we both have so much chaos in our heads and a shared pain from finding out things that turned everything upside down. Now isn’t the time to hold that against him while all this is going on. Neither of us was prepared or mature enough to deal with the tsunami of shit we’ve endured these past weeks, and I’m weary as it’s all caught up with me. I don’t want to carry the feelings of hurt and hate on top of that, too; not right now.
We have to figure this out, wait on Sierra to see if she has an answer, and focus on the fact that Deacon and his crew will follow us. Soon as they wake up and realize what’s happened, I’m sure they will notify Juan, and there will be a mad scramble to get here before she can tell everyone the truth.