Al Haqiqah.
Arabic meaning The Truth or Reality.
It seemed like an eternity before Adrienne faced Justin again. During the two days that they spent apart, she tried to act normally. He’d call her at least three times a day. She didn’t want him to think that something was up. Because knowing him, he just might fly back to New York earlier than scheduled and he only got two days to spend with his family.
Monday evening, he appeared on her doorstep.
“Hi,” she greeted him, pasting a smile on her face.
He stared at her for a while. And without a word, he pulled her to him and crushed his lips to hers.
“Justin,” she whispered against his lips.
“I missed you,” he said, lifting her off her feet and carrying her to the bedroom.
When he put her down on her feet, she stared up at him. She could see fatigue in his eyes. “I missed you, too.”
He smiled at her, but she knew him better now. His eyes didn’t sparkle and it looked like he was forcing the smile on his face. Adrienne already knew that something was up.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He nodded. “I am now.”
“Justin…” she started.
He silenced her with a kiss. She kissed him back. Their kiss became passionate. It was evident that he didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to lose himself in her. And she allowed him.
Within minutes, they were in bed, panting. They rode the tide of passion that threatened to consume both of them.
“Adrienne…” Justin whispered. He was more urgent than usual. She matched his kisses, his passion with equal fervor. She loved this man and she didn’t want to lose him. She wanted to claim him, as much as he was claiming her.
When she reached her peak, she screamed his name in ecstasy. In the midst of their passion, she managed to remember that they got lost too soon, Justin wasn’t even wearing protection.
“Honey…we don’t have protection,” she panted.
He stared back at her in eyes drunk with passion, consumed by desire. His expression was so intense, she almost didn’t recognize him.
He took her mouth in his in a rough, passionate kiss. She kissed him back, holding him close to her.
Then he leaned his forehead against hers and he whispered in a hoarse voice, “Tell me you love me, Adrienne.”
She blinked back at him, finally gaining back some of her senses. “What?”
She stared back at him, unable to understand what he was asking of her.
“Tell me… that you’re in love with me,” he said, his voice pleading. He drew in a deep breath. Then he added, “The same way that I am so, so… in love with you.”
Her heart pounded inside her chest and she struggled to find her voice. Emotions enveloped her all at once and she fought for air. She smiled at him, tears glistening in her eyes. “Justin…you know I am.”
A slow, triumphant smile spread across his face. “I wanna hear you say it, honey.”
She pulled him to her and kissed him passionately. When she came up for air, she said, “I love you, Justin Adams. With all my heart.”
He kissed her back. “I love you, Adrienne Miller. With all my heart. With all my soul. With all that I am,” he said. And with that, she felt him move within her, more passionately and more urgently that it brought her once again to her peak.
“Justin!” she screamed.
“Adrienne, I love you so much!” he screamed her name and within seconds she felt his body rock within her.
He tightened his arms around her as he buried his face into the mass of her hair, taking in her scent, feeling her every heartbeat, listening to her every breath. They remained joined, still one with each other. And all Adrienne could think of was how he told her he loved her.
Justin continued kissing her, nuzzling her neck. Her eyes were half-closed. She was consumed by the power of their lovemaking. It was intense. And she knew that she had just given herself completely to him. Her heart and her soul now both belonged to Justin.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered to her.
She smiled. “So are you.” Then, she again remembered that they weren’t wearing protection. “Justin… you weren’t wearing any rubber.”
He stared back at her. She expected him to panic, and realize what just happened. They were both lost in their passion that they actually forgot about the risks. But he said, “I know.” He leaned down and kissed her once again.
“Justin, I’m not on the pill.” She remembered that she should have thought about this since the day she lost her virginity.
“I know,” he said again.
“Justin…”
He silenced her with a kiss.
“Do you think I would worry, Adrienne?” he asked. “I love you, honey.”
She bit her lip and kissed him back. “I love you, too.”
He smiled back at her. “Then we have nothing to worry about.”
Finally, he pulled out of her and rolled on his back. He gathered her in her arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.
They got lost in their thoughts for a while. Justin silently caressed her arms and kissed the top of her head once in a while.
She wondered what happened in Chicago. Did he manage to convince his parents not to go through with their arrangement to marry him off? Did he win? Is he finally free?
She took a deep breath. “Justin… is everything all right with you and your parents?”
It took a moment for him to answer. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
She stared up at him, searching his face. Again, his eyes weren’t dancing. Something was there beneath their depths. Something that worried Adrienne.
She didn’t want to tell him that she knew about his engagement. She wanted him to tell her at his own time. When he managed to fix things. When he’s ready.
“If something’s wrong, you would tell me, right?” she asked.
He smiled at her. “The woman I love just told me she feels the same way about me. Right now, I’m invincible. I’m the king of the world! Everything is perfect.”
“Justin!” she pinched him on his side.
He pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. “Nothing’s wrong, Adrienne. Everything is just fine.”
***
The next day, Adrienne tried to concentrate on her work. But she stayed anxious. She should be happy. Justin loves her. Everything was perfect. But somehow, she still couldn’t forget that nagging feeling that this bubble she was in would just blow up in her face. That she would lose Justin. Because even though his heart belonged to her… he was still Justin Adams. And his name… belonged to somebody else.
“So, did you talk to him?” Jill asked, sitting on the chair in front of her desk.
“No. I tried to get something out of him. But he wouldn’t talk. He just tells me that I have nothing to worry about.”
Jill stared at her apologetically, not really knowing what to say.
“He finally told me he loves me.”
Jill’s eyes widened. “Wow!” She suppressed a scream. “Then…you have nothing to worry about, Adrienne!”
“I know. But I can see it in his eyes. Something’s bothering him and he doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“Maybe it’s not yet all peachy. Maybe he’s still trying to sort it out. But he loves you. And that’s your assurance. He’s fighting for you.”
Adrienne took a deep breath. “I know. I just hope he wins, though.”
She decided to cook that night. Something special for both Justin and her. She knew that even though he’s happy with her, things still seemed off when it came to his parents. His mother was determined to change his mind and make him fulfill his promise to go through with their arrangement. He loved her. And she knew it must be tough for him to defy his parents.
“Something smells good,” he said when he entered her apartment and found her in the kitchen.
“Hey!” she greeted him. “I hope you’re hungry. Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.”
He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He gave her a kiss on the neck and looked at what she was cooking.
“Stroganoff?”
“Yes.”
“My favorite,” he said. He kissed the top of her head. “I love you.”
She smiled and turned to him. She reached up and kissed his lips. “I love you, too,” she said. “Now, go wait in the living room, so I can finish this.”
Just after they sat down for dinner and Justin had taken a taste of what she had cooked for him, he stared back at her in awe.
“What?” she asked.
“Wow! You really can cook!” He took another bite. “This is awesome!”
She smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Love it!” he said and ate as if he hasn’t eaten the whole day. And it made Adrienne feel proud and happy.
After she washed the dishes and tidied up the kitchen, she found Justin on the balcony. Lost in his own thoughts, drinking beer and staring into space.
Her heart almost broke. She knew the burden he carried. She promised she wouldn’t pressure him about it, but at that moment, she felt like maybe it’s time for him to share that burden. She realized that it was bad enough that he’s defying his parents’ wishes. He carried the burden of not telling her, too, because he feared he would hurt her or he would lose her. She wanted him to know that she knows. That it was okay. That she trusted him.
She took a deep breath and said, “You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know.”
He turned around to face her. “Hey,” he whispered softly.
“Justin…” She took a step closer to him. “I know…I know what’s bothering you.”
He blinked back at her. “Nothing’s bothering me.”
She raised a brow at him. “Liar,” she said softly and she smiled at him ruefully. “I know you’re engaged, Justin.”
He stared at her. Blood almost draining from his face. She stepped closer to him. “Justin…you don’t have to hide it from me.”
“Adrienne…I’m not engaged.”
“I know you are. Stop pretending that everything is peachy! Like there’s nothing wrong. I know you have a fiancée somewhere and you’re scared to tell me about it.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath and said, “As far as I’m concerned, I’m not engaged.”
“Justin…please!” She’s getting frustrated. “How could you say that? I know what’s going on with you!”
He groaned softly. “I am not engaged, Adrienne! Because if I was, then you would be wearing a huge rock on your finger!” He sank on the chair and refused to look at her.
Adrienne took a moment to think about what he said and what that meant. Her heart swelled at the thought that if Justin was free to ask somebody to marry him, he would ask her.
She went to him and knelt in front of him, taking his hands in hers.
“Okay. You’re not engaged…by your own free will. Your parents arranged you to be married to some heiress they chose for you. Am I right?”
He gave her a hard look. He squeezed her hands. “How did you know?”
“It doesn’t matter how I knew. But I do. And I know it’s bothering you.”
He shook his head. “It’s not bothering me, Adrienne,” he began in a broken voice “It’s killing me.”
She knew that. But what’s important is his choice. What did he really plan to do about it?
She took a deep breath. “So what’s your plan, Mr. Adams?” she asked. “Because I’m only willing to stand by your side if you say that your choice is…me.”
He released her hands, leaned down and gave her a hard kiss on the lips. Then he said, “What are you talking about, Adrienne? The choice will always be you!” He pulled her up so she could sit on his lap. He drew her closer to him.
They stayed quiet for a while. She rested her head on his shoulder. He gave her a tight squeeze. Then he said, “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear you say that you will stand by me.”
She looked up at him. “Is that what was bothering you?”
He pushed a lock of hair away from her face. “The only thing that’s killing me is the fear of losing you if you found out.”
“I love you, Justin. And I know it wasn’t your choice.”
He took a deep breath. “I’ve already made my choice,” he said. “My parents won’t be happy about it, but there was never a question of ever giving you up for some rich brat I haven’t even met.”
“You haven’t met her?”
He shook his head. “All my life, my mother told me I would marry the daughter of her best friend. Their family had been very good friends with mine. Even our grandfathers were the best of friends. They got it in their heads to join our families and they believed the only way to do that is through marriage. Unfortunately, my mother never had a brother. And the girl’s mother was an only child. So marriage was impossible in their generation. They thought about making me miserable instead.”
“How long have you known?”
He sighed. “Ever since I was boy,” he replied. “I promised my grandfather I would do it. Back then, I thought my Mom’s friend was beautiful. So her daughter couldn’t be that bad. And I didn’t care about those things yet. Even when I became an adult I never found somebody I could fall in love with. So it never bothered me.
“I was raised with this arrangement like it was a part of my system… a part of who I am. And besides, my mother and my father came from that sort of arrangement and they were so in love with each other. It worked out well for them, so I thought, maybe, I would fall for the girl, too.”
Adrienne rested her head on his shoulder as she listened to his story.
“That’s why I never committed to anybody. Because I knew not to become emotionally attached. I know every girl I got to be with is just… temporary. In the end I’m still going to marry my mother’s friend’s daughter. So it didn’t matter if I never had a relationship before. What was the point?”
“You were a bachelor for a reason,” she murmured.
He took a deep breath. “Then I saw you one day, in your office. You were beautiful and I was entranced. The fact that you ignored me and didn’t seem interested in me got me fascinated with you even more.”
Adrienne giggled. “That’s your ego talking.”
Justin chuckled. “I always watched you. You didn’t seem interested. I saw you move into this apartment and I got excited because it meant I would get a chance to get your attention.”
“Maybe I presented a challenge, that’s why you were interested in me.”
“Maybe at first. But the more I watched you, the more I got intrigued by you. You were always serious, but I felt like you have a shell that I just had to crack and something even more beautiful would come out. That night at Gypsys, I saw a crack in that shell. So I pursued you. Because I knew that was my only chance.”
Adrienne giggled. “Jamila McBride gave you a chance.”
“That was hilarious. I already knew so much about you, and when you gave me a fake name, I tried so hard not to laugh.”
“I thought you would easily forget me.”
“Now, you know, I won’t,” he said. “I never meant for this to be just a one-night thing. And the more I got to know you… the more drawn I became to you. You have layers in your personality that I find enthralling. You were smart, funny and tough. And I felt privileged that you showed me sides of you that you don’t allow anybody else to see. The fact that I was the guy you gave your virginity to, made me feel like somehow, I did something right in my life to deserve such a special prize.
“Our secret made me live in your world… the world you try so much to hide. After two weeks of being with you, I realized that I was way into you for this thing to be called just a fling. When I saw that guy, Jin Starck, looking interested in you, I felt a pang of jealousy that I never felt before. I became possessive of you. I wanted you all to myself and I didn’t care anymore if I was previously arranged to somebody else. I don’t want her. I want you.”
“Did you tell your parents about this?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Last weekend, I told them that I’m calling off the whole arrangement. They can’t choose my wife for me. I already know who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
“How did they take it?”
He sighed. “Badly,” he whispered. “My mother was threatening to disinherit me.”
She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. “Justin…she couldn’t do that to you, can she?”
He smiled ruefully. “I was hoping she would get it someday. She didn’t know what it was like. She accepted her fate willingly. She was never in love with somebody else when she married my Dad. And then they got to know each other and fell madly in love. So after a few months, it wasn’t a business arrangement anymore.”
“How sure are you that you won’t like this girl, too?” Adrienne asked him.
Justin shook his head. “How could I even like her? I’m already too far in love with you.”
She leaned forward and kissed his lips. Her heart swelled with joy and broke in pain at the same time. She was happy to hear him say he loved her enough to fight for her. But she also knew that he’s sacrificing his family for their love. And a part of her didn’t want that for him.
“What are you going to do now, Justin?”
He smiled at her ruefully. “I can’t live without you now, honey. I won’t. Even if it means I lose everything.”
“Are you ready to do that?”
“Will you stay with me even if I’m not Justin Adams anymore? Even if I make a living bussing tables?”
“You know I will,” she replied. Then she grinned. “Maybe I just might love you even more.”
He stared at her for a while and said, “Then you just made me the happiest man alive, honey.” He leaned forward and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips.