Chapter Twenty-Five
The days of the following week flew by for Aidan. He was submerged in his character and the issues he was dealing with for his part in the Battle of Fredericksburg. Ernest, a Unionist soldier, had fallen for a young Southern woman, Sarah. Their love story was doomed, of course, as the brave Ernest died during the part of the battle called “dead horse hill,” so named for the amount of horses killed at that one spot during battle. The Unionists, thinking they were going to win, were attacked by far greater numbers of Confederate soldiers. The ending shot was of Ernest running toward the Confederates, clearly doomed, but bravely fighting for his side of the conflict. The final frame was a frozen shot of Ernest being shot down.
The movie was tragic, which is what drew Aidan to the character. It is what made him wake up in the morning and don the clothes of another man. Ernest was a hero. As long as he focused on Ernest, his mind would not allow him to linger on thoughts of Bethany. He remembered the last time he saw her as he had gotten into the waiting car in front of her condo. He had looked up and seen her watching him from her bedroom window. He waved at her, giving her a teasing smile. Bethany broke his heart by not smiling back but pressed her hand to the window in farewell.
“So have you called her?” Maeve asked, in full Sarah makeup.
“Don’t start, Mo, Aidan said, as he sipped his tea.
“It has been almost two weeks, Aidan. We are leaving in three days to shoot the ballroom scene. What are you doing?”
Aidan frowned at her. “I—we sort of said goodbye the last time I saw her.”
“Are you sure about that? Are you sure she’s not waiting for you to call every night?”
“Look…” Aidan sighed. “I’m uncomfortable talking about this, okay?”
“You’re uncomfortable? Try wearing this corset for Christ sake! You’re uncomfortable. Call her! Don’t be an ass.” Maeve got up and stalked away.
Aidan walked to his trailer and glanced at Serena. “Has Beth called?”
“Who?” Serena asked innocently.
Aidan eyed her testily. “You too, huh? Great. I have two great girls mad at me. I wonder what other things I could do to make this day any worse.”
Serena had clearly chosen sides on this matter, and she was not on his side. “Did she call?”
“No. Or, not to talk to you,” Serena said pertly.
“She has called to talk to you?”
“Yeah.”
“How is she?”
“Call her and find out.”
“I’m trying to do the right thing, Serena.”
Serena looked at him with disappointment. “This is not it. Ignoring her like she never existed in your life? That is not doing the right thing.”
Aidan winced at that comment. In an attempt to protect his own heart, he had pushed thoughts of her away. Instead of calling her, stopping by, or anything, he had just stopped speaking to her. He was an ass. He went to his trailer and removed all remnants of Ernest from his face and body. It was time to say goodbye to Bethany.
Bethany was reading Green Eggs and Ham to a group of preschoolers when Aidan walked into the library. She didn’t notice him, but he got a look at her, and her pale face made him cringe. She looked like she had lost weight and the animiated light was out of her eyes. Even the animated way she was reading the classic Dr. Seuss story could not hide the ravaged look on her face.
“Go away.”
Aidan turned and saw Michelle frowning at him. “Excuse me?”
“Haven’t you done enough?”
Aidan flushed with anger at himself. As he was rather roughly escorted to the back of the library, he noticed Michelle had taken him to the Science section where he had first kissed Bethany.
“I need you to go before she is done with reading hour. She has been miserable. You haven’t called, haven’t stopped by.”
“She’s upset?”
Michelle glared at him. “Bethany? Oh no! She keeps saying how busy you are, and that you have to get into character and all that crap. But deep down,” Michelle said, pointing to her chest, “she knows you’ve blown her off without a word. And she’s hurt. But,” she extended her hand for silence when he was about to speak, “she is getting better. Every day, she is a little bit better. My advice and I would stick to this because I’m the shoulder she has been crying on, is to write her a letter and send her some see-ya-later roses. And then you get the holy hell out of Dodge. Do we understand each other?”
Aidan admired the way Michelle defended her friend. It was good to know she would have someone to love her when he was gone. But the idea of her crying on Michelle’s shoulder was too hard to handle. He had been monumentally stupid. Worried mostly about his pain, it never occurred to him how much his silence would hurt Bethany. Even when the thought crept in once in a while—the niggling thought that he was a bastard—he would sink into his character and all would be well. Ernest did not care for a woman named Bethany; he loved a girl named Sarah. And that thought had helped him escape. “I will do what I think is right, Michelle.”
“No. You will do what I say is right. Now beat it.” Michelle had her hands on her hips. She had the coldest look in her eyes he had ever seen.
“What’s going on over here?” Bethany asked, her eyes lighting up as she saw him. She rushed to him, her arms extended.
Aidan’s heart was about to break at the look in her eyes, the way she was running toward him as if he hadn’t ignored her for a week. He wrapped her in his arms, and the most intense feeling of completion filled him. She was so soft, she smelled so good, he couldn’t hold her close enough. He watched Michelle storm away, and while he was relieved to be alone with Bethany, the image of Michelle comforting Beth in tears was a bitter pill to swallow. “I’m so sorry, luv. I should have called you.”
Bethany covered his mouth with her fingers and guided him silently toward the office, closing the door behind her. “Have you come to say goodbye?”
Aidan looked down for a moment and then met her eyes. “Yes.”
Blinking back tears, Bethany attempted a smile. “We knew this was coming.”
“Yes, we did. I’m really sorry I haven’t called. I…was busy.”
“I know.”
“But mostly, Bethany,” Aidan said hesitantly. “I…” He tried to tell her, to share the turmoil boiling within him, but something inside was trying to protect him. He shook his head lamely.
Bethany walked up and cupped his cheek. “It’s okay.”
Aidan pulled her back into his arms. “It is not okay. I wish I could be the man you need.”
Bethany smiled sadly. “You are that man. I’m just not the woman you need.”
Aidan looked at her for a moment, tempted beyond belief to stay here with her. But he couldn’t live in small-town Virginia. His home was in Ireland, and his work was in Los Angeles, and Virginia and Bethany did not have a place in his life. Besides, he truly felt he was doing what was best for her. She was too sweet to live in his disreputable celebrity.
Aidan kissed her tenderly with all his heart. “You are a very special woman to me. Don’t ever forget that.”
Bethany nodded and turned away, and he knew she was hoping he would leave before she burst into tears. He could, at least, afford her that courtesy.
Aidan sat in the back of the limousine and wondered what sort of gift he could send Bethany that wouldn’t be cheesy or insulting. An idea sparked, and he called Serena to make sure it was a done deal.
****
As Aidan’s plane took to the air several days later, he hoped that his gift made her smile. But his gift was cold comfort, and he was bloody well aware of that. When Serena approached, he looked at her quizzically.
“This is for you.”
“What is it?” Aidan asked, eyeing the box with mild curiosity.
“It’s from Bethany.”
His heart pounding, Aidan ripped the paper off the box and opened it. Inside, the scent of brown bread was powerful. He smiled as he pinched a piece off the loaf. It was wonderful. It was like he was eating in his grandmother’s kitchen again. As he chewed, he read the note.
Aidan,
I received the recipe for your grandmother’s brown bread and the Irish breakfast tea. Thank you so much. I am really looking forward to trying the tea. I hope you like the bread. I followed the instructions to the letter. I hope you win the Thespian at the Actor Awards. I’m so proud of you.
Take care,
Bethany Michaels
Aidan frowned. Except for the reference to his present, it was an impersonal note—especially the signing of her full name. But then, like him, she was trying to step back and let her feelings fall by the wayside. As he nibbled on more bread, his mind went over the time he had spent with Bethany. He pictured them laughing, eating, watching movies, and making love in her small bedroom. It was a home movie in his mind, of images from a love affair with Bethany.
It made his heart hurt.