Trigger warning / drug abuse
Jake's POV
I lounged in the jacuzzi, the warm water bubbling around me, but I barely felt its soothing effect. My body was bare, the result of hours spent at the gym ever since Lea had left again, three years ago.
My muscles were more pronounced than ever,shoulders were broader, arms and thighs thicker and stronger but it didn’t bring me the satisfaction I’d hoped for. It was a distraction, nothing more.I didn’t blame her for walking away this time. After everything she learned about my family being involved in her family's murder, I completely understood her decision.
Phill and I did everything we could to make sure she got everything she deserved and more. We fought to make her legal struggles as smooth as possible. It was a constant battle to keep our mother from interfering or causing trouble for Lea, but we did what we could.Lea didn't know that we helped, of course. All I wanted was to make things easy for her, give her comfort.
Despite our efforts, she vanished from our lives, leaving me in darkness. My days were consumed by work, an endless stream of tasks and meetings that barely masked the emptiness I felt. I was sinking, trying to drown my pain in the ceaseless grind of corporate life, I was minimising my presence in the world of glitz, glam and showbiz, but it never quite worked.
Eventually, I found myself entangled with some bad company. It was a desperate attempt to fill the void, a misguided search for solace in the wrong places. I thought I could escape the anguish by surrounding myself with people who didn’t care about my past or the mistakes I’d made, but all it did was drag me further down.
As I stared at my reflection in the water, I could almost see Lea’s face superimposed over it. The steam and the dim lighting made the illusion clearer. I wondered what she would think if she knew about my current state,about the bad company I had gotten involved with and the destructive habits I’d picked up along the way.
“Lea,” I murmured softly, my voice barely more than a whisper. “I know I messed up. I know I should have been better... for you, for us.” The face in the reflection seemed to listen, her eyes full of concern and disappointment. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be this person... but I just...”
As I continued to gaze at the reflection, Lea’s face seemed to become clearer, almost tangible. My throat tightened, and I felt a lump forming.I reached out for the packet that kept me going from time to time. But it didn't help this time.
My hand reached out, skimming the surface of the water, as if I could touch her through the reflection. “I’m so sorry for everything, Lea. I’m sorry for not being the man you deserved. I... I just wanted to fix things, to make them right, but I ended up ruining everything.”
I felt a sob escape my chest, the grief and regret overwhelming me. “I miss you so much. I miss the way you used to laugh, how your eyes would light up when you were happy. I just want to hold you again, to feel you beside me. Can’t you see how much I need you?”
I let out a ragged breath, my voice barely a whisper. “Please, Lea. I need you. I need to tell you how much I love you, how I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been lost without you. I’m begging you... come back. Give me a chance to make things right
I trailed off, the weight of my words dragging me deeper into a trance-like state. The water’s warmth was pulling me under, blurring the line between reality and my own regrets.“I miss you,” I continued, my voice now barely audible. “I miss the way things used to be. I... I’m sorry for everything. For the mistakes. For the pain..."I kept stammering and slowly I closed my eyes, letting the quiet embrace of the water and the image of Lea’s face in the reflection consume me.
The soothing bubbles and the haunting memories lulled me into a state where the world outside ceased to exist. All that remained was the murmur of apologies and the fading echoes of a past that seemed so far away now.