Jake's POV
" Yes, we are coming right now. Yes please. Keep the keys ready. " I called the old watchman because it had been ages since I last went there. Lea hadn't spoken for the rest of the drive and I knew for certain there was something cooking in her little head. I wasn't complaining. She had been through a lot and I was happy to be of any serve to her, any use... anything to make my Lea happy again. Make her smile and dance like when she was a little girl. My crazy, sweet, innocent Lea.
She had been leaning on the seat but as soon as we entered the driveway towards the apartment she sat up, rolled down the window and stretched her neck out.
" Lea, careful... " I tried to pull her back but she opened the car door before I could pull up and made a run for it. I tossed the keys to the valley with much frustration and ran after her. " Lea, wait"
She topped right in front of the elevator and turned around. I was running so fast, I almost banged into her. She pulled my hand into hers and clung close. Her eyes looked sad. " Are you sure you still want to go upstairs. I have no idea if it's even clean. I don't know... "
" Jake, just take me upstairs. It doesn't matter. Do you remember the first time we came to visit this place? " She asked leaning her head over my shoulder as I pressed for the elevator to descend for us. " How can I forget, Lea. " I murmured as the door opened and we entered. I pressed the button and looked straight ahead. I could see her distorted image on the shiny door of the elevator. She looked nothing like the girl with whom I had first come to this with a real estate agent.
I almost cracked up thinking back at how naive we were. The place was literally in a mess when we bought it. But we changed it into our safe haven with our own hands. We worked on it together. But alas! It didn't turn out that safe for either of us. I lost Lea to misunderstandings and Lea lost me because of the fame she coveted for me. It was such a messy paradox that we still weren't able to figure out who benefitted out of all our sacrifices. Clearly there was none.
The door was unlocked just like I had instructed. I always kept a spare key with the apartment management for housekeeping purposes. It turned out to be fruitful.
" Shall we? " I asked holding the door to push it open but Lea grabbed onto my arms. " Jake, I am scared. "
" Sacred? " I grabbed her shoulder and pushed her into my arms, picking her legs up as well. I shoved the door open with my body and stepped in. I carefully put her down as before locking the door behind us. She fumbled for the light switch even though there was still some light seeping in from behind the blinds.
The lights flickered on and she took one slow step after another, holding onto the wall for support and looking around so cautiously as if treading on water.
She looked around at the living space, touching everything as she went. One after another, she took off the white veils covering the furniture.
Suddenly she froze as she reached the couch. She took her hands back as if she was electrified. I immediately moved forward but she moved back faster and hit my chest with her head. I could partially guess what might have been bothering her but she didn't say a word.
" Can we get this couch out? " She suddenly asked. " Of course, Lea. Whatever you want! " I immediately answered. " What do I want? Tell me what you want, Jake. Do you want to keep it? " I don't know what was up with her. Did she want to fight? I said nothing out of the line and then she broke down and started whimpering. " Lea! Whats wrong? " I asked pulling her around, hugging her, rubbing her back.
" It all started here, " She said, pointing at the couch. " It all happened because of ... I lost you, Jake. I don't want to see this damn thing around. Why did you even keep it... " Was she f*cking kidding me? She was the one who had bought it. And loved how it was the perfect fit with the colour of the wall. It was amongst her favourite list of furniture . But I understood where her thoughts were stuck. She was back to that day when she had come back to me but I was busy f*cking that damned Rosa. Damn it man! She wasn't wrong. It all went down from that moment. She was f*cking pregnant with Kai and I f*cking made her go through an accident. I hurt her so much, she decided it was better to leave without a word than tell me everything. I broke her that day. I broke her heart, her faith, her trust, her innocence.
The mere thought of it made me shudder but Lea's whimpering brought me back to the present. " Lea, please don't cry. You have cried enough. I can't bear to see you crying anymore. I am sorry for everything I made you go through. I wish we could go back in time but ... Let's just focus on the days that are coming. Alright? "
But my words were enough to calm her down so I had to pull her face higher and seal my promises with a kiss. She didn't immediately respond. I half regretted kissing her like that but then he wrapped her hands around my neck and I pulled her closer. Our bodies pressed against each other as I took her lips in mine with renewed determination. It felt like I hadn't kissed her for ages. It felt like she was giving me a CPR, pumping life back in my body.