I barely managed to get my key in the lock without dropping it like some kind of amateur burglar.
My hands were still shaking from the studio, from being surrounded by all three of them, from feeling like the center of their goddamn universe for the first time in my life. The tension was still clinging to my skin like expensive perfume you can't wash off no matter how hard you scrub.
The apartment hit me with that particular brand of silence that makes you hold your breath — too quiet, too still. I paused in the entryway, listening for signs of Leo.
Light leaked from under his bedroom door along with the muted chaos of some video game soundtrack. Probably deep in a raid with his online friends, saving digital worlds while I was out here fucking up my real one.
Perfect. I needed a minute to get my shit together.
I set my bag down like it contained nuclear weapons, trying not to make any noise that might summon questions I couldn't answer.
"That was fast. Miss me already?"
I spun around so hard I probably gave myself whiplash. Finn was leaning against my kitchen doorframe like he owned the place, trademark cocky smile in full effect.
"What the actual fuck are you doing here?" I whispered, my heart attempting to escape through my throat. But even as panic flooded my system, something warm flickered underneath. He came back. He couldn't stay away.
I hated how much I liked that.
"Relax, bunny." He pushed off the wall with that predatory grace that made my brain malfunction. "I wanted to see you."
"How did you even —" I moved toward him on autopilot, torn between wanting to shove him out the window and pull him closer. "How are you in my apartment?"
"Fire escape. Your bedroom window was unlocked." His smile widened at my expression of pure horror. "Don't worry, I didn't go through your underwear drawer. Though the temptation was real."
I reached out to shove him, but he was faster, catching my wrists like he'd been expecting it. His touch was gentle but firm, and suddenly I was hyperaware of how close we were, how the kitchen light made shadows dance across his face.
"Leo's home," I hissed, glancing toward the hallway. "He doesn't know about any of this clusterfuck. You can't be here."
Something shifted in his expression, that playful smile softening into something that looked almost... sincere.
"I know. I just..." He paused, thumb stroking across my wrist. Then that grin flickered back, self-deprecating. "Couldn't get you out of my head. It's annoying, actually. I have a reputation to maintain."
Despite my panic about being caught, heat pooled low in my belly.
This was wrong. Not the sneaking around — that was its own kind of wrong — but the way my body responded to Finn when my heart had spent all day tangled up in Liam.
With Liam, everything felt heavy. Significant. Like standing on the edge of something I might not survive.
Finn was lighter. Easier. He made me laugh even when I wanted to strangle him. And maybe that was its own kind of dangerous — the way he slipped past my defenses without me even noticing.
"If I kissed you right here, right now," he said quietly, voice dropping to that register that made my knees forget their primary function, "would you stop me?"
He was smiling, but his eyes weren't. For once, the playboy mask had slipped just enough for me to see something real underneath.
My breath caught. "You can't kiss me like you mean it. Not here. Not with Leo —"
But he was already leaning in, lips finding mine in a kiss that was soft and secret and completely devastating. Not the hungry, demanding kiss from the studio. This was tender, almost reverent, like he was trying to memorize my taste.
I melted into him despite every rational thought screaming in my head, hands fisting in his shirt as he kissed me with a gentleness that made my chest ache.
I shouldn't want this. Not when Liam's voice was still echoing in my head, raw and open: I've thought about this every day.
But Finn kissed me like he already knew he wasn't my first choice, and he was okay with it. Like being second — or third — was worth it if it meant being close to me at all.
That thought cracked something open in my chest I didn't want to examine.
For a moment, the world narrowed to just this — his mouth on mine, his hands cupping my face, the way he made me feel like I was the only thing that mattered in the entire fucking universe.
The sound of Leo's door creaking open shattered the moment like a gunshot.
I shoved Finn away with enough force to knock him into next week, panic flooding my system like ice water.
"Go," I mouthed silently, pointing toward the window.
Finn's eyes sparkled with amusement even as he backed toward my bedroom.
"Sweet dreams, bunny," he whispered. Then, quieter, almost to himself: "Try not to dream about Liam too much."
Before I could respond, he disappeared through the window with ninja-level stealth.
I closed the window behind him, heart still trying to break the sound barrier, and attempted to look like someone who definitely hadn't just been making out with her boss in the kitchen.
The next morning, I found Leo in the kitchen flipping eggs with the kind of practiced ease that came from years of taking care of himself. His dark hair was doing its usual impression of a tornado, gaming headphones hanging around his neck like a collar.
"Look who finally decided to join the land of the living," he said without looking up. "I was starting to think you'd died in your sleep."
"Hilarious." I poured coffee from the pot he'd already made, warmth spreading through my chest despite everything. This was Leo — taking care of me even when he didn't know he was doing it. Even when I was the one who was supposed to be taking care of him.
"How long have you been up?"
"A couple hours. Couldn't sleep." He slid perfect eggs onto two plates, adding toast that somehow wasn't burned to charcoal. "Hey, whose jacket was on the couch last night? Navy blue, expensive looking. Definitely not yours or mine."
My coffee cup froze halfway to my lips. Shit. Shit shit shit.
"Jacket?"
"Yeah, when I got up for water around midnight, there was this men's jacket just sitting there. Designer, by the look of it." Leo's tone was casual, but his eyes were sharp when he looked at me. "Want to explain that?"
"Oh, that." My brain scrambled for an explanation that wouldn't sound completely insane. "Just borrowed it from someone at work yesterday. It was cold when I left the office."
"Borrowed it from someone at work," Leo repeated slowly. "And they were cool with you taking home a jacket that probably costs more than our car?"
"It's not that expensive," I said weakly, knowing I was digging my own grave.
Leo set down his fork and really looked at me then, expression shifting from playful to concerned. "You're lying to me, and you're sucking at it. What's going on, Jas?"
The room suddenly felt like it was shrinking, walls closing in. Leo's calm concern was somehow worse than anger would've been. He was worried about me, and I was sitting here spinning bullshit to protect secrets I couldn't share.
"Did you do something stupid and scared to tell me?" he asked gently, and the question hit like a physical blow. "Is that doing something with money for my debt?"
My throat tightened. "I didn't do anything shady," I whispered, hating how the words felt like lies even as I said them.
Because I hadn't done anything shady, exactly. But I had crossed lines I'd never imagined crossing. I had let three men bid on my virginity, accepted money that could be seen as payment for services, entered into a relationship that could destroy everything if anyone found out.
Leo took a bite of toast, movements deliberate. "You're glowing again, by the way," he said lightly, eyes never leaving my face.
I laughed nervously, the sound too high and bright. "Glowing? What does that even mean?"
"It means you look different. Happier, maybe? More confident." He tilted his head, studying me like a puzzle. "Like someone who's been getting really good news. Or really good —"
"Leo," I cut him off, sinking into my chair before my knees gave out.
He held up his hands in surrender, but his smile was knowing. "I'm just saying, whatever's going on, it's not all bad. You seem lighter. Less stressed."
If only he knew.
It wasn't just the money, though that helped. It was everything the brothers had given me without realizing it — permission to stop carrying the world. Permission to want things for myself. For the first time in years, I wasn't drowning in everyone else's emergencies.
I was just... living. And apparently, it showed.
"I'm fine," I said, forcing my voice steady. "Everything's fine."
Leo nodded, but I could see he didn't believe me. He was too smart, knew me too well. But he also knew when to push and when to let things go.
"Okay," he said simply. "But Jas? Whatever it is you can't tell me, just... be careful, alright? You're all I've got."
The words hit me right in the chest, a reminder of what was at stake. Leo might not know about the dangerous men who'd threatened him, or the desperate measures I'd taken to protect him, but he knew I was keeping secrets. And he trusted me anyway.
"I'm always careful," I lied, thinking about Finn climbing through my bedroom window, about the way all three brothers made me lose control completely.