Poppy was living in a daze. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. Felix wouldn’t stop calling. He was everywhere she went. The first night, he’d shown up at the house banging on the door for her to let him in. She didn’t. The first thing she’d done when she got home was triple lock the doors, throw the chain, and wedge a chair under the handle. He may have a key, but he wasn’t getting inside.
She did this for the first few days, until Felix finally stopped coming by the house. Now he called her incessantly. It was driving her crazy. Twice a day she had to clear out her voice mail. He just wouldn’t let up.
Maybe he thought that if he wore her down enough, she would let him explain. But she wasn’t interested in being lied to—he’d done that enough already. What was the saying, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? Well, shame on her because she’d let him lie right to her face and chose to accept it. If anything, it was her fault she was a broken mess now. She should have put her foot down right from the start.
The hardest part was understanding why Felix cheated. Even though they had a few problems, she thought they were happy. She thought they were strong enough to work through anything. She was secure in his love for her—enough to believe him when he told her that she was the only woman in his life.
She’d called off the last week from work, refusing to see him, but she couldn’t stay away forever. She needed the money to survive, to keep her and Bo afloat until she could find another job. This was why businesses frowned on office romances.
How was she going to face him?
Poppy’s legs trembled as she stepped off the elevator and into the office. It was still early and hardly anyone was there yet. It gave her a small window to get her emotions in order and if she were lucky, she might have enough time to get what she needed for the day out of Felix’s office before he showed up.
She went there first, with her fingers crossed as she walked down the short hallway. Thankfully, his office was still dark. He wasn’t there yet.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Poppy pulled out her key and unlocked the door. She gathered what she needed for the day—letters that needed to be copied and faxed, files, and the like—and locked up behind her. She’d already worked it out in her head. As a temporary fix, she would ask Piper if she could work out of her office until she could get Jon alone. She hated that she would have to tell him her personal business, but she knew he would understand.
She knew Jon was still having trouble finding a reliable assistant. Patti had been the perfect fit, playing his assistant and accountant all in one, but since she had gone on maternity leave, it had been a revolving door of incompetent temps. She planned to apply for the position. It wasn’t an ideal fix, not by a longshot, but at least it would give her some distance from Felix.
Piper was on board with her hiding out all day, since Tate often didn’t come into work, preferring to stay home with their daughter. Piper preferred the few hours of escape. If Poppy had children, she wondered what she would choose—to stay home or remain a working mom.
She shook the thought away. She was in her thirties and had just walked away from her most promising relationship to date. The chances of having a family now were depressingly slim. Focusing on the current task, Poppy lined up a stack of papers on the fax machine and typed in the phone number where they needed to be sent.
She was busy tuning out the rest of the world, so she didn’t hear when the door to the room closed until it was too late.
“I wasn’t sure if you would come back.”
Poppy turned to find Felix standing behind her, his body blocking her only escape. Poppy’s chest constricted and her stomach performed flips at the sight of him. She had to remind herself several times that she hated him now.
She glared at him, letting him know how she felt about him being there, but she couldn’t block out what she saw. Felix looked like hell. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and they looked bloodshot, like he had been crying recently. Despite appearing put-together, with his hair combed neatly and dressed in a pressed business suit, she didn’t miss how his clothing seemed to hang a little looser off his shoulders.
“Go away,” she told him, needing to steel her heart against his lies. She couldn’t allow him inside again. Her world was too fragile to sustain another blow.
Felix took a cautious, yet determined step closer, closing the distance between them. Poppy flinched, her shoulders curving in on themselves as he took hold of them. “I’m not going anywhere. Not until you hear me out.”
Covering her face with her hands, Poppy attempted to hold back another bout of crying. “Can you just leave me alone, please?” she begged him.
Felix made a shushing sound as he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry, kitten, that’s one wish I won’t grant you.”
He held her tight against his chest for so long she lost all sense of time. Even though she was hurt and angry, it felt so good to have him touch her. She could smell the rich spice of his cologne and inhaled deeply, unable to help herself. If people could be homes, he would be hers.
Sensing that she was as held together as she was going to get, Felix drew away enough to look at her. His fingers stroked her cheeks reverently, his eyes skating over her face as if memorizing it. “Are you ready to hear me out?”
No, she wasn’t, but she didn’t see where she had a choice. Breaking away, Poppy leaned against the fax machine for support, because she didn’t think her legs would hold her.
Standing back, Felix leaned against the wall behind him, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and looked down at the floor. “That night was such a mess,” he started with his voice low and ruff. “I promised you I wouldn’t lie to you again, and I broke that promise.”
Poppy’s vision grew blurry and she sucked in a deep breath, praying she could hold it together.
“It looked bad, I know it did,” he continued, speaking earnestly as he held her eyes. “But I swear, with every fiber of my being, I was not cheating on you. I’m not cheating on you.”
Poppy wrapped her arms around herself. “I know what I saw, Felix. You thought I was at home. You thought you would be alone.”
He grimaced at the truth she spoke. “You’re right. I didn’t know you were going to be there. I was counting on it, actually, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”
As much as she wanted to believe him, Poppy couldn’t allow herself to be trapped again by lies. She had to be smart and protect her heart, but she had to know everything. Apparently, she was a masochist. “Then what reason is there, because I can’t think of anything else.”
He blinked, and she could practically see him trying to wiggle his way out with another excuse. “Gianna is helping me with…something.” Poppy threw her hands up and Felix jumped to stop her from leaving. “No, wait! Okay, okay. I asked her to help me do something. It was supposed to be a surprise. For you.”
Poppy’s eyes narrowed when he didn’t offer anything further. “Excuse me if I don’t believe you.”
Grabbing her arms, Felix pushed her back to prevent her from leaving. His hands tore through his hair, setting it on end, and he squeezed his eyes shut, releasing a frustrated growl. “I wanted this to be a surprise. I still want it to be a surprise. I’m doing the best I can. Can you just trust me on this?”
No. She wanted to, more than anything, but the door on that option closed the moment he brought another woman into their home. “That ship sailed already,” she told him regretfully. “You promised me that you would always be truthful with me, and you broke that promise.” Gathering the papers, she moved for the door and this time, Felix let her. “I can’t trust you anymore.”
After that showdown, Poppy knew she wouldn’t last the rest of the day in the same office as Felix. She found Piper behind the desk in her office. The moment Piper looked up and caught sight of the expression on her face she jumped out of her chair and rounded the desk to embrace her. “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?”
Poppy swallowed thickly and patted her back. She refused to shed any more tears, dammit. It was a wonder she had any left in the first place. “I need to leave early,” she told her, trying to avoid having to explain herself. She wasn’t ready for the whole world to know that her life was falling apart. She felt like an utter idiot, even if none of it was her fault.
I’m so backwards. Felix is the one who should feel like an idiot, not me.
Who ever said love was easy hadn’t accounted for when it went sour. The hardest part about it wasn’t giving it away. It was letting go.
Poppy held out the stack of papers she had been working on. “Can you make sure these get back to Felix’s office for me?”
Piper’s brows pinched together, her curiosity making her eyes shine, but she accepted the offering without question. “Sure, I’ll take them to him right after I finish putting together Tate’s schedule for next week.” She put a hand on Poppy’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Poppy gave her a tight smile. “I’m okay.”
Piper didn’t look convinced, but she nodded anyway. Poppy walked out of the office with her head held high. Even with her stomach in knots and her heart shredded, it was important to her that no one knew what a mess she was right now.
That was hard to do when the first person she laid eyes on was Felix. He stood at Vera’s desk, speaking too low for her to hear his words, but she didn’t need to. When he looked up, his eyes grabbed hers and she could see the hurt visible in them. It was so raw, so plain that it gave her pause.
What if she were wrong?
But as she boarded the elevator, he wasn’t making any moves to stop her.
***
Fucking hell, he’d screwed up everything. Every damn thing.
Felix flexed his fingers. He needed to punch something. The frustration had been building all week. All he wanted to do was talk to her, tell her everything, make things right between them, but when he got the chance, he went and screwed it all up.
Poppy asked him point blank what his excuse was, and he chose not to tell her. He wanted to, and when it came down to it, he had to try. It was important to him—all that time—to keep it a secret, so he had to give it one last try. If only she would have given him one more chance, he would have proven to her that he was worth waiting for. She could trust him.
“Shit, who died?” Jon walked up and handed off a manila envelope to the receptionist. Felix chose not to answer him, but that didn’t deter Jon. Clasping his shoulder, he gave it a supportive squeeze. “You know what sucks about having a relationship with someone, especially when that someone is your friend? When you see a break in the track and you try to warn them, but they don’t listen. As much as you would like to, you can’t run their lives for them. Instead, you are forced to stand aside and watch as their train charges down the track, knowing it’s going to derail, and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it.”
Without a word, Felix turned and headed for the sanctuary of his office. He wasn’t in the mood to philosophize, but Jon was, and he wasn’t about to let him walk away. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Felix snapped as he strode across the room to the wall of windows. Somewhere out there, Poppy was on her way home. Alone.
“Is this about you and Poppy?” Jon questioned. “Because if this is about what we talked about, then I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.”
Felix rounded on him, his anger at himself aimed at his friend. “You were right. Poppy left because I lied to her, okay? I lied, and she caught me, and now it’s all over. Done! She doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” His voice shook and he swallowed convulsively to force down the lump forming in his throat.
Slumping into one of the leather club chairs normally reserved for his clients, Jon sat back and propped his left ankle on his right knee. “Well, now I’m intrigued. I think it’s time to tell me exactly what you lied about, so we can come up with a way to fix this together.”
Felix stared at Jon, dumbfounded. He expected his friend to come down on him, shun him for being a complete idiot and chasing away the one good thing in his life, but he was offering him a chance to make it right. He dared not hope for such a thing, but Felix went to sit down across from Jon all the same. If there were any chance, no matter how slim, of winning Poppy back, then he would do it. “Everything?”
“Everything. Start from the beginning.”
Could it be so simple? Could the answer to his problems be solved by laying it all on the line and confessing? Did Jon have the answer to his problems? There was only one way to find out.
Felix settled in. He was about to spill his guts, let Jon in on the biggest secret he ever had. At the end of it all, he hoped they could come up with a good solution, because the last thing he wanted to do was lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.