“So then he confessed that he went golfing, but he still insisted that business was just business. I don’t know what’s worse, that he lied straight to my face, or that he was so convincing doing it.” Poppy was at a loss. She had already gone through all the emotions: denial, anger, grief…Now she was firmly rooted in depression. She gave the straw a twist, swirling it through the chocolate milk shake.
“I’m not sure what to say,” Piper admitted. “Felix just never struck me as the cheating type. You said he came home when?”
“It was after six. I called Patti just after four and I heard Jon in the background. Where the hell was Felix all that time?”
Piper shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t know, but if you want my advice, don’t jump to conclusions too fast. I know it looks bad, but there are always two sides to every story. Why not just ask him outright?”
Poppy stabbed her milkshake, taking out some of her aggression on the chocolaty drink as though it was the cause for all her problems. “If I asked and he lied to me again, it would break my heart. I’ve already been through that once with Jimmy and I hadn’t even given my whole heart away that time. With Felix, I don’t think I would survive it.”
Piper covered her hand with her own. “I feel for you, I really do. If I was in your position, and I thought Tate was up to no good, I would be devastated. But you had better believe that I would be in his face demanding answers. Let him know that you’re on to him. If he has something to hide, at the very least, you’ll make him think twice.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Poppy sipped her drink, considering Piper’s words. Felix had never given her reason to doubt him before. Lately, they had been arguing all the time though, and it left her feeling alone and confused. If he wasn’t out there with some other woman, then what could he possibly be doing? All the early mornings, all the late nights in the office. They didn’t have the same routine they used to have. Maybe he just needed space?
Piper checked her phone. “Look, I have to take off, but you should think about what I said. Ask him,” she implored. “He just might surprise you.”
Poppy forced a strained smile and stood to give her friend a hug goodbye. “Thanks for lunch.”
“Thanks for getting me out of the apartment,” Piper returned. “Tate is driving me nuts. He’s such a bear to be around when he’s closing in on a deadline, but he pays me in sex, so I can’t complain.” Poppy laughed. “Call me if you need anything—a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen…someone to help hide the body.”
After promising to call, Poppy watched Piper leave then gathered her coat and purse and followed suit. She had never been one for eating alone. She was halfway down the block when she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. Taking it out, she thumbed the screen and frowned when Felix’s name popped up. He refused to text her, and always insisted on calling just so he could hear her voice. She used to think it was sweet, but at the moment it was nothing but inconvenient. She didn’t want to talk to him. She was actively avoiding anything having to do with Felix Sinclair.
Last night, after feigning an orgasm, she had left him tied to the bed while she pretended to go eat dinner. The truth was she hadn’t been all that hungry. After catching him lying to her—at least she was fairly certain he was lying—she had to get away from him. While he shouted for her from the bedroom, she curled up on the couch with Bo and cried herself to sleep. She awoke a couple hours later to a quiet house. When she’d gone upstairs, creeping into the bedroom, she found Felix passed out cold. His arms were still bound to the bedframe and every inch of his beautiful, perfect body was bared to her.
Asleep, he looked so calm and innocent. She had a hard time believing that he would hurt her, but there was just too much wrong with his story for her to see an alternative. Felix’s behavior had been off for a while. What other explanation was there? He had to be seeing someone else.
Still, she kicked herself because she couldn’t just leave him like that. Untying him, she carefully lowered his arms to his sides and drew the blankets up so he wouldn’t catch a chill. Even if he was stepping out on her, she couldn’t deny her need to take care of him. She loved the bastard.
Having gathered a change of clothes, Poppy chose to sleep on the couch that night. She woke early the next morning and rushed out the door before Felix had the chance to come looking for her. The meeting with Piper bought her an hour, but now she needed to figure out how to fill the rest of the day, because she wasn’t ready to face Felix. Not yet.
Her chest ached as she hit ignore. The phone immediately started vibrating in her palm. Gripping it tight, Poppy walked through the open-air mall, brushing shoulders with other shoppers in her haste to get to some place quiet and secluded so she wouldn’t be on display when she started bawling her eyes out.
The phone buzzed again and again. Why wouldn’t he leave her alone? Couldn’t he understand that she was ignoring him?
Taking a seat on an empty bench tucked beneath a young ornamental tree, Poppy stared at her phone. She wasn’t going to answer. She wasn’t. But what if he was worried about her? She didn’t want him thinking something bad had happened to her. But she couldn’t stand to hear his voice right now, even though it was the one thing she craved most at that moment.
Touching the screen, she started texting. I’m fine. Be home later.
Felix texted back immediately. Answer your phone.
Chewing the inside of her cheek, Poppy told herself that was never going to happen. Even through typed words, she could feel his irritation.
Felix: Where r u?
Poppy: Out. Shopping.
Felix: Come home. We need to talk.
Poppy: About what?
Felix: Last night.
Those two words had the power to suck the air right out of her lungs. Of course, she was expecting it, but what should she say? What could she say? Poppy went with ignorance. Didn’t like the show? I guess I’ll have to work on my performance.
Felix: Are you coming home?
Poppy: Later.
Maybe. She hadn’t decided yet.
Felix: What store r u at? I’m coming 2 u.
So he was impatient. Not a good sign for her. Poppy: Just leaving. Have more running 2 do. See u at home.
She knew he wouldn’t take the brush-off well, so she put her phone away and walked as fast as she could for the car. There was no way she was meeting with Felix. Was he crazy? The whole world would be an audience to their hardships. No, she just needed a few more hours to get her head together, and then she would face him. He was right that they needed to talk, but not here, not now.
In her pocket, her phone was going crazy. Felix was probably blowing a gasket right now, but she couldn’t worry about him. Right now, she had to worry about herself. She needed to get her thoughts in order, come up with a game plan, and decide what her next move was going to be when she finally did talk to him, because one thing was certain: she was not going to let herself fall into the same pattern with Felix as she had with Jimmy.
She would not be a doormat. She would not turn a blind eye. She would not lose everything she had worked so hard for. Once was more than enough and she had learned her lesson well.
Poppy visited five more stores and forced herself to eat a late lunch. She was still full from the first one, but she wasn’t ready to go home. Overall, she’d bought herself an extra three and a half hours. The problem was, now she was teetering on broke, her trunk was full of nonsensical items that she would probably end up returning later, and she had nowhere else to go. Home seemed to be the next logical step, and it would be if it weren’t for the angry boyfriend waiting for her there.
Pulling in a huge breath through her nose, Poppy released it slowly, cranked the engine, and steered the car toward home.
***
Felix wasn’t there. When she stepped inside, quiet as a mouse, Poppy took painful measures to keep the bags in her hands from rustling too much. She wasn’t taking any chances. Toeing her shoes off, she hastily made her way upstairs, her eyes darting in every direction in case Felix was lurking nearby. Fortunately, she was alone.
Really alone.
She frowned, looking over her shoulder at Bo’s empty pallet in the corner. One after another, Poppy hung her new clothes on the bar in the closet. Normally, she would be admiring her finds, choosing which one she would wear first. The cream sweater dress with the black belt that gave her the illusion of having an actual waist, or the hunter green silk blouse paired with the knee length pencil skirt that looked like a modern version of a fifties school teacher? Today, she just didn’t have the energy to care.
Where was Bo? Where was Felix? Felix loved the dog, but it was unlike him to take off with him alone. Worry struck her cold. What if Felix abducted her dog—her baby, her only child? Her hands shaking, she dropped onto the edge of the bed, clutching a box of gourmet chocolate to her chest.
Felix would never do that. He knew how much she loved that dog. Her thoughts were confirmed when she heard the front door click shut. Moments later, the sound of Bo’s nails scrambling across the wood floors and up the stairs followed. Realizing what was coming next, Poppy quickly set aside her things, cleared a spot on the bed, and braced herself.
“Bo-bo!” Opening her arms, she wrapped them around the giant beast as he barreled through the door and leapt up onto her chest. His large paws slammed down on her shoulders, bowing her spine, and he bathed her in kisses as his whole body wagged with his excitement. Poppy was still laughing with relief when she looked up to find Felix standing in the doorway.
He watched her, his hands shoved deep into his jean’s pockets, a deep frown creasing his forehead. A thin, nervous smile began to form making Poppy realize just how brittle she felt. Felix glanced at the piles of bags surrounding her. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were shopping. Did you leave anything for the other customers?”
Poppy snorted. Leave it to Felix to find a way to lighten the mood. “A couple odds and ends.” She shrugged.
Her heart pounded as Felix stepped into the room and walked around the foot of the bed to inspect her purchases. He peeked in the bags, although the blank look on his face told her he really didn’t care about what she bought. He was gearing up to have a conversation—one that she wasn’t ready to have.
Standing, Poppy brushed some loose fur off her shirt and pants. “I was thinking about making steak tonight for dinner.”
Felix nodded, letting her know he’d heard her. Leaning a shoulder against the bedpost, his eyes followed her around the room as she finished putting everything away.
“I had lunch with Piper. It sounds like Tate is in a mood again. I swear he has PMS more often than a woman.”
“Poppy.”
“Macy’s was having an awesome sale. You should see this skirt I found. It’s so cute. I think I can put together at least five outfits with it.”
“Poppy.”
“After dinner I was thinking maybe we can take Bo on a walk. We could take that trail that leads to the creek we found last week. It was beautiful there, don’t you think?”
“Poppy, sit down!” Felix barked. Poppy snapped her mouth shut and froze in the middle of hanging a pair of pants on the rod. Shoving aside the empty bags, Felix sat at the edge of the bed and indicated with his hand for her to follow.
Reluctantly, she crossed the room to sit beside him. Avoiding eye contact, Poppy scratched her nail over the minute ridges created by the woven cotton in her jeans.
“Last night wasn’t okay. I mean, it was great, but what you did after? That wasn’t okay.”
Okay, so he was just going to jump right in there. Poppy hanged her head. “I know.”
“I know you know,” Felix said, angling his body toward hers. “My problem is why. See, I’ve been trying to work it out all day. I thought you were playing a game, until I realized that you weren’t coming back. I spent all day replaying what happened—every minute detail—and do you know what I came up with?”
Poppy shook her head. She honestly had no clue what was going on in his head, except to say that he was more than a little bit pissed.
“You were punishing me.” Poppy’s head snapped up and her eyes grew wide. Felix nodded. “That’s what I thought. Was that your idea of setting me straight for spending time with my friends? Because if it is, then we have a problem. I love you, Poppy, but I’m not going to let you try to control me.”
“This isn’t about control,” Poppy snarled, offended that he would even consider that a possibility. She was the least controlling person she knew. “And this isn’t about you spending time with your friends. If you want to hang out with the guys, go ahead, be my guest. I won’t stop you. I do have a problem with you lying to me, though.”
To his credit, Felix didn’t try to deny it. Holding her gaze steady, he took her hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m sorry I lied to you. Trust me when I say that it won’t happen again.”
He was so earnest that Poppy struggled to understand what he was promising exactly. Was he trying to tell her that whatever he was doing yesterday was a one-time deal and she didn’t need to worry about it happening again, or was he only referring to the part about playing golf? Honestly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
Sometimes ignorance really was bliss.
Her voice came out smaller than she expected. “Promise?”
Bringing his hand to her face, Felix smoothed her hair back behind her ear, holding eye contact. “Cross my heart. I love you, kitten.”
Her chest tightened and Poppy knew that any second, she would start crying. She didn’t want him to see her cry, but she didn’t know if she could hold it back. There was no way of knowing if he was telling her the truth, but she knew that she couldn’t bear to hear it, even if he tried. This was the only truth she was willing to accept, the only one that would keep her heart from being shattered. So, she closed her eyes and absorbed his words, holding onto them with a tight fist.
Leaning into him, Poppy wrapped her arms around Felix’s neck and held him tight. “I love you, too.”