I quickly pulled myself off of Austin and covered myself with my towel. I couldn't believe what I had just done, or what I had just confessed to him.
"I do want this to work, but I feel like the promise is causing us to rush through dating," I finally said.
"If you feel like things are moving too fast, then tell me. I won't do anything you aren't comfortable with; I don't want to mess this up, Chlo."
I glanced around the room, trying to decide on what to say. I felt like I was in a tunnel, like I could see all of my thoughts spinning around me. Half of me wanted to just go to the courthouse and get married, but the other half wanted to take things slow and treat our relationship as if we had just met.
"I just don't know what to do, Austin," I sat on the edge of the bed and looked over at him, "I want to figure out what I'm doing with the rest of my life now, but I also want to take the time to make sure I'm not making a mistake."
"You think this might be a mistake?"
"No, that's not what I meant at all. I do genuinely care about you, and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with you. But the whole point of the pinky promise was a last resort option and I want to make sure that we really do want each other. I don't want to just jump into our marriage and not take the time to really connect before."
"I understand. How about this, I'm going to head home and get ready for the day. I'll be back at five tonight to pick you up. We'll go to Tybee and just walk on the beach and talk. Just take the rest of today to figure out some questions or whatever your concerns are."
"That sounds like a good idea, the beach is definitely a calming place for me."
"Bring a change of clothes too, just in case we decide to stay down there tonight."
I nodded as Austin stood up. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead.
"I do love you, Chloe, please just know that."
I smiled as he walked out of my bedroom with his things.
After getting dressed for the day, I walked through the house to Emma's room
After getting dressed for the day, I walked through the house to Emma's room. As I entered, I heard her in the bathroom and plopped down on her bed.
"Ugh, you know I hate you right," I called out sarcastically.
"Oh, but how I hate you more, " she laughed as she walked back into the room.
"I cannot believe you told Mom and Dad that. You promised not to say anything!"
She shrugged her shoulders, "I promise that it wouldn't have taken them much longer to have put things together. I will admit, bringing up the wedding may have been a touch too far. But anyways, when is it?"
I shook my head and looked down at the floor.
"Oh no, you already broke up?"
"We aren't even technically dating, well were dating, but our relationship has no labels yet. And regardless, we want to make sure we aren't just rushing our relationship for the sake of the futures were imagining. We don't even know if we're actually compatible."
Emma smiled, "I guess you do have a point there. How do you currently feel about everything?"
An hour or so of talking about how I felt later, Emma and I walked downstairs to go ride around the island on the golf cart. The Landings has tons of nature trails and it's another way I've always relaxed.
We rode around for a good hour or so before returning to the house. Once we were back, I made my way back upstairs to my room and packed a small overnight bag. I threw in a bathing suit just in case we decided to get in the water, which I was hoping we would do.
My thoughts were still pretty disorganized, and I had no idea as to what my real concerns were. But none the less, I sat down and started writing out my thoughts.
By the time I was done, I had about 30 minutes before Austin would be here. I still needed to ask my mom to set up a pass for Austin, so I walked back downstairs to the kitchen.
"Are you hungry? I'm making some snacks to hold me over until dinner," My mom questioned as I entered the kitchen.
"Sure, but I don't need much, Austin will be here to pick me up shortly."
She raised one eyebrow, "Oh, really? I'll get a pass set up for him once I'm done. I'm assuming you won't need dinner?"
"I'm not sure, but if I do, I can just order something or find something in the fridge."
She smiled and pushed a small plate of pita chips with cheese and hummus over to me. My main concern at the moment was keeping away from talking about Austin and me.
She seemed to understand that it wasn't something I wanted to talk about at the moment and changed the subject.
"So, now that you've graduated, what's your plan regarding your career?"
"I'm not too sure yet," I responded while scooping hummus onto another chip, "I think I want to at least take this Summer as a break from everything."
"You've been working very hard the past few years, it would be good for you. I don't want to rush you into finding a job, you know you are welcome to live here forever if you really wanted."
I giggled, "No offense, but we wouldn't last forever in the same house."
She laughed and placed our now empty plates in the dishwasher.
"That's probably true. Let me go get his gate pass set up. Should I just have them add a standing pass and get a sticker for his car?"
While that would probably be a good idea, as I'm sure Austin will be around a lot, it also felt like things were speeding up again. But none the less, it was just a permanent gate pass, like he had in high school.
"Um, sure. I don't know how often he'll be here, but then you won't have to worry about it."
She smiled and walked out of the room to call the gate people. My phone dinged; it was a text from Austin letting me know he'd be here in about 15 minutes. I ran upstairs to grab my things, and double checked my outfit in the mirror. I was wearing a pair of denim cut off shorts and a white, ruffled crop top. I slipped a simple gold chain anklet on and braided my hair into to French braids.
By the time I was done, he should have been arriving any minute. So, I grabbed my bag and walked outside to sit on the porch while I waited. Not even a minute later, He was pulling into the driveway.
While we were about to have a pretty serious conversation, my worries had disappeared.