~ Zoie's POV ~
"Ash! Hold on, stop moving!"
Zoie was laughing and giggling as she held onto Asher's hand. They were sitting on the floor of their living room. The first aid kit was next to them, as well as a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey. Zoie had a cleaning cloth in her hand and she was trying to clean Asher's knuckles. Asher kept grimacing and pulling his hand away, making it difficult for Zoie.
"We don't need to do anything to it. It's fine. Just put a band-aid or something," he argued, but Zoie was adamant. She held onto his hand tightly and slowly and carefully cleaned the wounds.
"No, we gotta make sure the wound is clean before we put on any bandage," she said.
Asher let out a sigh and took a swig from the Jack Daniel's bottle. He grimaced again as Zoie cleaned another part of his hand.
"There, that's better," Zoie said proudly once she was finished. She then put the rubbing alcohol away and reached for the other bottle of alcohol. She took a full swig of that whiskey and Asher watched in admiration.
"Who taught you to do this?" he asked.
"What, drink whiskey?" she giggled. "Have you seen my daddy's stash?"
"No, I meant this," Asher nodded at his hand. It was clean now and ready to be bandaged up.
"Zander and Zane always got into fights. I saw mom doing this for them all throughout high school," she said as she reached for the bandage, wrapping them securely around his knuckles.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah," she huffed. "They were trying to mimic you, I think. You used to get into fights with the older kids before you left,"
"Oh, wow. I remember that," he laughed and nodded his head. "That was so long ago,"
Zoie finished wrapping up one hand and she moved on to the other one. His hand was actually soft and beautiful. If only he hadn't been so rough with them. There were bruises and scars all over his knuckles. And there were even slit scars on the inside of his hand.
"What's this from?" she asked, pointing to an old scar on the palm of his hand.
"I dunno," he shrugged. "Probably something I picked up when I was fighting or fixing cars,"
Zoie frowned her eyebrows.
"What is it about you and fighting?"
"Huh?"
"Why do you keep doing them? I mean, one of the reasons they kicked you out of school was because of the fighting, right?"
Asher fell silent for a moment. He then reached for the whiskey bottle and took a big gulp. Afterward, he gave Zoie the bottle. She took it and had another sip.
"There were these older kids who were teasing Zach at lunch," Asher spoke finally. "They, um, said some things about your dad being... a mafia,"
Zoie swallowed hard. She always heard rumors about this growing up, but she never saw any proof. She believed those were just lies her dad's enemies say about him because they were after his position.
"...Anyway, Zach, always the pacifist, didn't wanna do nothing about it. But I just can't stand it. So I fought those kids. The next day, they came back and beat me up. Then the next day, I came back and beat them up. It went on and on until I broke someone's leg with a baseball bat and they finally got rid of me,"
Zoie's mouth fell open, but there were no words. She never heard this part of the story before. Asher was probably 13 years old at this time, and Zoie was 7. She was too young to know any of the details. And at this point, she didn't know if she should thank him for defending her family's honor, or if she should be afraid of him. Or both.
"Those kids also had younger brothers and they probably bullied the twins too. So, I guess Zander and Zane just wanted to get into the action," Asher continued.
Zoie now realized why her brothers always got into so much trouble when they were young. It wasn't just a boy thing. They actually had to deal with people calling them names and calling their dad a mafia. Meanwhile, Zoie grew up pretty sheltered from it all. She was homeschooled until she was in middle school. Then she went into a private school and at this time, her dad was already the governor of New Jersey. He was beloved by the people and no one dared say anything bad about him.
"Does it ever solve anything...?" she asked cautiously. "...All that fighting?"
Asher turned to her and gave her a smirk.
"No. But it felt damn good to punch a shitty motherfúcker in the face, now, didn't it?"
Zoie couldn't help but scoff a laugh. Asher was referring to Miles, the shitty motherfúcker who broke her heart. And though she could laugh about it now, her heart was still aching. A part of her wanted all of this to be a dream. Maybe she'll wake up tomorrow morning and this would all disappear?
"...But you didn't just punch him, Ash. You broke his hand. Now he's not gonna be able to play baseball for a while,"
"Perfect," Asher replied, totally unfazed. "An eye for an eye,"
"What?"
"Baseball's all he cares about, and you're all I care about. He hurts you, so I'm taking away baseball away from him,"
I'm... all that he cares about?
Zoie froze for a moment. Did she just hear that right?
Meanwhile, Asher took the bottle again and drank up. His hands were completely bandaged up now. Zoie did a marvelous job. He admired her work and turned to her. She was still staring at him with a blank expression.
Letting out a cough, he handed her the drink and asked, "You're not mad at me, are you?"
"Mad? What for?"
"Because I broke your boy's hand,"
Zoie took a big gulp of that drink and wiped the remnants on her lips.
"He's not my boy," she said. "Not anymore,"
Zoie took another big gulp. The bottle was full just an hour ago, and now it was almost empty. She stared at the bottom of the glass and let out a sigh. She thought that drinking would help ease the pain, but her heart was still in pieces.
And suddenly, without her control, tears began falling from her eyes again. She had stopped crying when they got home. She thought she'd cried all the tears she could possibly cry for Miles, but apparently not.
"Hey," Asher pulled her close to his chest. His eyes were filled with panic and worry. "...Why are you crying?"
"...I'm just... I feel so dumb..." she sobbed in between tears. "I really thought he loves me..."
"It's alright," he cooed. His voice was warm and gentle. His hand stroked her hair. "You couldn't have known. It's not your fault. If anything, it's mine,"
"How is it your fault?" she looked up at him with glassy eyes.
"I'm your bodyguard. I should've done more," Asher said through gritted teeth. His eyes were burning again. Zoie could see the anger and resentment seething out.
"There's nothing more you could possibly have done for me," she said, her hand reaching for his face. Asher's eyes softened instantly. He looked down at her and swallowed hard.
"Thank you," she said again. "For everything,"
"Of course," he replied. "Anytime,"
Zoie and Asher just stared at each other for a moment. Zoie couldn't describe it in words, but it felt... mysteriously peaceful. She stared into his eyes and she felt safe. Like she was seeing a part of her own soul staring back. It was such a divine feeling. She could stay like this forever.
Meanwhile, Asher's eyes were slowly turning dark. He glanced from her eyes down to her lips and back to her eyes again. He looked at her like he could devour her at any moment. This made her heart race and her body shudder. Zoie flinched back in response.
"Huh. I guess this is what I get from wanting to experience freedom and love," she said bitterly. She poured whatever that was left inside that bottle into her mouth. Only a couple of drops came out.
"Hey. You're gonna find someone much better than that asshole," Asher said as he took the empty bottle away from her. "I promise,"
"...I don't know," she sighed. Her head was feeling heavy, so Zoie leaned her head down on Asher's lap. "I'm starting to think that maybe it isn't real..."
"What is?" he asked.
"Love," she replied.
Zoie turned her face so she was staring at him again. He looked down at her glassy purple eyes and he couldn't say a word.
"...Does love even exist? Is it even real?" she asked again.
"I... think so," he replied finally. His voice sounded unsure.
"How do you know?"
"I don't know," he shrugged. "But it has to exist, right? Otherwise, what's all this fighting and pain and suffering we have here for?"
Zoie's lips curved into a smile. It wasn't exactly the best answer, but it was honest. And as Zoie learned, honesty was such a rare thing.
"Ash," she said.
"Hm?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
Zoie's question hung in the air. Asher frowned and thought hard, but he couldn't answer it. Zoie waited and stared at him, noting the creases on his forehead, the long lashes standing over his eyes, and his lips... how they looked so wonderful.
"...Okay, I think it's time for you to go to bed," Asher said finally, holding her up. "Come on,"
"Ugh...!" Zoie groaned in protest. Her head was getting heavier and heavier. She could barely stand on her own, so Asher ended up carrying her. He lifted her entire body up easily and carried her into her room.
Once inside, he laid her down gently on the bed. Zoie's eyes were too heavy to open, but she realized what was happening. Asher took off her shoes and covered her body with the blanket. He stood over her for a moment before planting a soft, gentle kiss on her forehead. Zoie's eyes fluttered open in response.
"Don't leave me," she said, her hand reaching out to grab his. The words just came out before she could even stop it.
Asher froze for a moment. He was about to leave. Meanwhile, Zoie didn't have the strength to open her eyes any longer. She fell into a deep sleep and her hand fell to her side.
Zoie didn't know if it was her dream or if it was real, but just before the lights in her brain went out, she could've sworn she heard him say, "I'm not gonna leave you..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Everything was dark one moment, and suddenly, everything was filled with light.
Zoie opened her eyes slowly. They felt so heavy, and so was her head. Through her blurry eyes, she could make out her bedroom window. The bright sunlight was streaming through, causing her to close her eyes again.
Zoie squirmed in her bed and she felt something hitting her back. Curiously, she turned around and saw Asher's face right in front of her!
Oh my God!
Zoie gasped in shock. Asher was asleep. His eyes were closed. He looked tired. Zoie closed her mouth with her hand to not make any noises and held her breath. Asher was now moving too, but his eyes were still closed. He pulled her closer to his chest and wrapped his hand over her body. Zoie complied and let her body mold into him. Looking up, she stared into his face again and let out a smile.
God... He's so beautiful to look at.
Zoie noted the curves of his face and the way his chest moved as he was breathing. She listened to his heartbeat and found her chest beating to the same rhythm. Zoie sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head deeper into his chest. She inhaled his familiar masculine scent and somehow, her body became relaxed and light. She felt like she was floating in the clouds. There was no pain, no heartbreak. It just felt so nice and so easy to be with him.
This... feels like home...
Zoie wasn't ready to wake up into the real world just yet, but suddenly, she felt Asher's arm moving. She opened her eyes slightly and saw that Asher was waking up. Zoie was too, but she closed her eyes again and pretended to be asleep. Asher was slowly pulling away, but Zoie whined in protest. She even snuggled deeper into the warmth of his arms, refusing to let him go. Finally, she heard Asher letting out a sigh and he laid back down, letting Zoie cuddle with him again.
Just one more second, Ash.
Let me stay here and be with you.
Please, just one more second.
*
*
*
- - - - - - To Be Continued - - - - - -