This chapter is just a flashback five years ago
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Trigger couldn't explain what he's feeling right now. He feels incomplete and lonely without Miracle by his side.
This was the first night he was not with his wife.
Earlier he was wondering where it could be. After bursting out, she left them, he tried chasing her but he's too late.
He was about to die of anxiety because it still hadn't come back since it left. He did everything to find her but no one has a clue of her whereabouts.
He felt like he just wanted to sleep, just in case when he woke up it was next to him. He wanted to make himself believe that she'll go back, for him.
He waited that night, until it was already morning, he stayed awake. But there are still no signs of her. She didn't come back.
It's as if she's going crazy for missing it so much. He wanted to touch it, kiss it, hug it and talk to it but he couldn't do all that because it wasn't beside him.
If only he didn't push her away. If only he didn't question her pregnancy, none of these would happen. Maybe now he was still next to it to sleep. Maybe even now he can still see her beautiful and gentle face.
Miracle said that their baby was dead. And he was one of those people who killed it. She is confused by what it says because she does not remember that she agreed to have an abortion.
After watching the CCTV footage of that night that Miracle's talking about, he saw himself dragging Miracle into their room. He's drunk that time and completely unaware of everything. But he confirmed everything, that she's saying the truth. To him that is the child it carries.
The woman will not lie to him. Miracle is unable to say untruthful things so she wants to hurt herself when she questions her pregnancy.
He immersed himself in alcohol all day while still waiting for his wife to return.
But no matter how long he waited, he felt it would never come again.
The feeling of being left behind by the person you love the most is horrible, and he's experiencing it right now.
The next day, he was finally in reality. The words left by his wife all returned to his brain.
He said he got some bruises and wounds from her but he knew that he never laid a hand on his wife.
Trigger was fucking scared to hurt her and lay a finger on her flawless skin so he couldn't find any reason for Miracle to say those things. Yes, he said a lot of things to her and it was out of anger. But he did not physically harm it. He can't do that.
He was about to enter their room to get his phone when a door caught his attention. He turned to the room his wife always went to.
As soon as he opened the lights, a lot of canvas welcomed him. Many of those have already been drawn.
He wanted to cry in happiness after seeing Miracle's paintings. They are beautiful and flawless.
He firmly bit his lip before approaching the image of the baby painted by his wife.
Their baby, it was gone.
He turned his eyes to the corner of the room and looked up at the CCTV that was there.
Would it be so bad to watch his wife doing the things she loves?
He thought about that, but ended up sitting in front of the CCTV footage to check what she's doing inside that room.
In the first footage that came up of him he immediately smiled when he saw the beautiful face of his wife who was busy painting.
He bit his lower lip when he felt his heartbeat speed up as he watched it.
But the scene he witnessed on the next footage was not impressive. He panicked when she saw Miracle crying as she closed the door.
He immediately sat down on the floor and leaned against the back of the door before starting to hurt himself.
Trigger's eyes widened while watching his wife.
In the following footage the sequence also happens. And he stopped watching when he already saw her using a knife to hurt herself.
He could no longer watch them after seeing his wife's condition in their own home.
Why would she even do that to herself?
Trigger clenched his jaw as soon as he felt the hot liquid on his cheeks. He felt horrible, he felt he was worthless because he had no knowledge of what was going on here.
He saved those footage and privately went to a doctor who's an expert in this field. After the doctor watched the footage, he immediately asked him a question.
"Does your wife have any traumatic experiences?"
Frowning he replied. "I don't know. I just met her when she graduated from college already."
"If that's the case, have you noticed something about her every time her parents are around?"
He nodded his head. "She looks scared and terrified with their presence."
The doctor wrote something before looking at him again. "Have you raised your voice on her?"
He paused for a few minutes before nodding. "A lot of times," he said with guilt in his voice.
The doctor was silent for a few minutes before looking at him again.
"I know it's hard for you to hear about this, but your wife seems to have had traumatic experiences she encountered in her childhood that developed into a mental illness. As you can see in these footage, she looks satisfied after hurting herself. Your wife has masochist personality disorder and raising your voice on her has triggered it a lot of times.There are chances that her parents abused her mentally and physically.As you raise your voice on her, her mind adapted it already and she thinks that you're going to hurt her also. That's why harming herself satisfies her because of the traumas she encountered. "
Trigger just quietly listened to what the doctor was saying. And as he listened to it, anger gradually built up in his chest.
There are chances that her parents abused her mentally and physically.
She remembered how fear crept into her husband's eyes whenever the couple was there.
He clenched his fists as he remembered how Benedict and Olivia badmouthed Miracle.
So he was furious here, because he thought it was the one who desperately convinced the couple to marry.
So he is very angry here because those two demons repeatedly slander his wife.
That anger turned into madness, that madness made him raise his voice on her. And his actions ... All of those trigger her personality disorder. And because she's not aware of her illness, the girl thought that she was the one who caused all the wounds and bruises on her body.
Trigger closed his eyes tightly when he returned to the mansion. He immediately went straight to his wife's favorite room, where her works were.
This room witnessed her wife's sufferings and he still felt horrible knowing that he failed to guide her to cure her disorder.
He failed big time.
He didn't even take care of it. He didn't even take her to the doctor to get well.
All his responsibilities he did not fulfill because of so much anger at his wife.
He thought she was a bitch because of Benedict and Olivia's statements, he thought she was a desperate woman who only wanted his money, but he's wrong.
She's a woman ... who needs help and love.
And the only person who could give it to her was him, but he didn't do that thing.
The man's gaze turned to a corner when he noticed the canva there covered.
He stood up from his seat to remove the fabric that covers the whole art.
When he removed it, he could not take his eyes off the work in front of him.
It's a stuffed toy. He can't be wrong because that toy is the only one in the world. He treasured that stuffed toy so much that he gave it to his first love, Racle, back then.
He looked down at the letter there and finally backed away when he read it and confirmed everything.
Racle and Trigger, forever.