"Breathe, Bambina." Jake's mouth comes to my cheek in a soft peck from behind; his hands are on my shoulders as I stand, smoothing down my dress in the mirror. It's late; we've been up here for a couple of hours. I slept a lot, and we lay together, talking about everything and nothing while watching daytime TV. Idle chit-chat and jokes, Jake tried his hardest to make this feel normal. Neither of us wants to acknowledge that she will be under the same roof soon enough. Neither of us wanted to talk about anything to do with her. I would be happy with never talking about what he did ever again.
I am so ravenous for food, but I know she's down there somewhere; I'm about to look at her for the first time since he touched her. I gulp softly and quell the nerves running through my stomach, causing a swirling ache of nausea.
"I'm okay." I try to reassure him, even though I'm far from it. I smile back at him from our reflection.
I'm looking better, less pale, and have no more rosy cheeks from the high temperature. My black shift dress clinging in all the right places, and my flat pumps making me a little less formal. I look right for dinner in a family home, just not right to face the woman who is crazy in love with my Jake. The woman he betrayed me with not so long ago, and my stomach lurches with a stab of pain.
"You look beautiful. Sexy … Fuckable." Jake grins, kissing me on the neck, burying his face against me, and smelling me. I close my eyes.
He always knows what to say and how to touch me.
That familiar ache in my lower abdomen stirs that I frequently get, any mention of sex or gentle kisses or caresses, especially my neck, and I yearn for him. It's been too long, and I am salivating over him with every passing day. He's too damn masculine and utterly devastating not to want to be nakedly entwined with him. Just looking at him walk across a room in casual or formal clothes could send any woman's heart racing, let alone someone who knows what those hands and that body are capable of. I am craving everything he could do to me right now while watching him in the mirror.
Jake is right, though; something inside me isn't ready, and I'm not there yet. He never gives any signs of getting beyond kissing and cuddling. My lower body seems completely off-limits to him. When he touches me anywhere below my waistline, hips are all he will put his hands on, except my abdomen, where our baby lies.
"Ditto." I smile, devouring him visibly in his fitted navy shirt under a dark gray tailored suit, collar open as always, lacking a tie. He looks dressed for more business dinner than a family meal, but I know he's conveying a message. This dinner will be all business while Marissa is at his mother's table. He told me his mother wants to be involved in mediating the situation he's been failing to get on top of for weeks. In a way, I feel better knowing she'll be there for support. With her flawless grace, Sylvana will bring a presence to the table that will, maybe, finally, get Marissa to agree to set terms and stop the emotional tug-of-war and manipulative moves.
The problem is simple. Marissa is still in love with Jake, so she will not stop trying to maneuver this situation her way. She figures that baby means leverage, and after Jake kissed her, she thinks she has a chance of getting him back. She has no clue about the meaning behind his kiss. To her, it was a glimpse into the problems in our relationship and maybe a hint that he still wanted her. I do not doubt her showing up here because she thinks she can push Jake's mother to her side again. I know she was a regular in this house as a teen, and she's angling to get back in.
I watch him move back to fix his hair, his gaze over my head in the mirror as he expertly styles it with his fingertips. He looks adorable when he's doing simple things like this. Young and effortlessly sexy. I can't deny that with every passing day, I'm starting to learn how to forgive him, a tiny bit at a time, and it's starting to hurt a little less intensely. Looking at him now, there's none of the carnage I felt in those first few days or the confusion I used to feel when I stood close to him.
I know he doesn't still have feelings for her. Finally, in the last few weeks, that inner insecurity somehow has shaken itself free; in every look he turns my way, with every touch and word out of his mouth.
Jake loves me, really, really loves me. In the way that I love him. A fully encompassing and world-changing, blow-your-mind kind of love. Marissa never stood a chance with him. That kiss meant nothing, and I will not let it hurt me, or us, anymore.
His attention to our unborn baby is like a final sign that I am everything to him, and our life together will always be his sole focus.
He catches my eye in the mirror and smiles at me, that sexy natural slight flex he throws me every time we look at each other. My heart lurches a little and skips a beat. Jake could always say so much with a look, maybe because I know him so well and am tuned into him on another level. In one glance, he's telling me everything I ever need to know, and he means it: I look beautiful, and he's completely in love with me. He's giving me courage.
* * *
As much as I try to prepare myself by pulling on my most efficient PA Emma face, none truly prepares me for the blast of sickening pain when I am finally faced with one Marissa Hartley.
Walking down the stairs and into the dining room, I don't take in the beautiful space, elegant settings, or wonderful smells of food. I just see the girl with the long, curled, brown, highlighted hair. The seductive, tanned, Latino-looking face with sensual lips, wearing an overly tight floor-length animal print dress, fully emphasizing her bust, curvy figure, and undeniably compact baby bump protruding at her front. I also can't ignore how her eyes devour Jake hungrily as he walks in behind me with a guiding hand.
She exudes pure sexual energy, every movement calculated for maximum impact, hips swinging, and cleavage swaying. Her pouting and hair-flicking mannerisms all made for pure seduction.
I hate you so much I want to smash that centerpiece right into your face.
I glare at her icily, our eyes meeting for a moment, and I catch a glimmer of smugness. She has no qualms about meeting me dead on and even licks her lips in the process. I feel nothing but disgust and soul-scratching hatred for her.
"Jake … Emma." Her low husky voice purrs our names as she slips effortlessly into a seat ushered by Sylvana, sliding down gracefully and never once taking her eyes from Jake as he settles me into my chair. I glance at the steak knives in front of me and wonder if Jake would mind if I stabbed her in the face with one.
The waiting staff nearby are laying glasses of wine down on the table. I note that both the glass before her and I are full of fresh orange instead, an inner smugness washes over me, and I wonder if she will even notice.
See, you think you have something over me, Marissa, but I have a secret you will hate more.
I catch Jake watching me carefully as he slides in beside me. Neither of us has said a word since walking in here. I catch his eyes going to the ridiculously sharp cutlery, and a slight hint of a smirk draws across his face. He knows where my brain has been heading, and I raise an eyebrow at him as if to say, What? He shakes his head with a smile and leans in to kiss me behind the ear.
"I love you, but please don't stab her while we have witnesses." The low husky tone, followed by his chuckle, sets a smile on my face, and I'm even smugger at catching Marissa scowling our way. Her eyes narrow at Jake's affection, and she twists a fork in agitation.
Arrick appears casually, with a new, non-descriptive girl in tow, a mirror image of the little thing that annoyed me so much last time we were here. He says his hellos, passing smiles and introductions when Giovanni Carrero saunters in, greeting us all unemotionally. I suddenly feel a little more uncomfortable when he's here. That steady, sharp gaze seems to devour this scene, the polite greetings as though he's walking into a business meeting and not seeing his own flesh and blood. Everyone sits, including Sylvana, and there is almost fake politeness in the atmosphere as quiet chatter and light, idle conversation begin.
I glare at Marissa as we're served. This is a family dinner, and she's been allowed to join. Sylvana is trying to bring her into the family's fold to send Jake a clear message. She wants him to fix this and ensure her grandchild is not kept from her. She wants Marissa to feel like she's a part of this and belongs here too, so she will want to bring her child here in the future.
My heart plummets at how much I hate her presence in this home with these people who are supposed to be my family one day. The realization that this is how it will be, that this isn't just about her, Jake, and I, but it's about all of us and what these people will be in her child's life. That tug of emotion rises, hitting me hard, swallowing down the pain that threatens to consume me suddenly.
Jake slides his hand over mine and pulls it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles softly and pulling me toward him a little. He bridges the gap and pecks me softly on the cheek, whispering, "I love you," as he pulls back. He senses the change in me that I'm feeling emotional; like always, he's there to ground me. I can't help but smile at him adoringly. Green eyes locked onto mine, so many messages translating in one tender look. My heart is rising a little that I have him, and she never will, not how she wants him.
I catch Marissa watching us with a glare of sheer hatred in her eye as the death grip on the fork she's holding turns her knuckles white. It only strengthens that inner triumph, and I smile at her almost salaciously.
"So, I hear there's some news you have for me, Jacob?" Giovanni cuts in smoothly across the chatter as the starter plates are slid before us by efficient house staff. I flicker up, catching both men's eyes locked across the table, with no emotion or message on either face. They are acting like they always do, like two men in a standoff, trying to be polite. Try as I might, I have never understood how they can stand this relationship. Jake never seems to want to try to fix things, and Giovanni never seems to make an attempt, either.
"I have a couple of things I need to tell you, just not here right now." Jake's voice betrays a slight edge in his tone, and his father instantly smirks. The irritating Carrero smirk shows they are undeniably related despite their very different appearances, neither looking away, the air almost sizzling with tension. I catch a nervous flinch in the corner of Sylvana's eye and feel a little uncomfortable.
Giovanni is one of the most unreadable people I have ever met. He gives no clue to what he's thinking or feeling, ever. An amazing poker face and never seems to have any other moods apart from this one or yelling at staff. Even in his family's presence, there is his usual air of authority and emotional distance. It's a little chilling.
"Yes, later, when we don't have guests," Sylvana warns with a tone of authority and throws a smile at Marissa, sitting to her right. It's a reassuring smile. Giovanni is at the head of the table and doesn't acknowledge Marissa at all. He doesn't even look her way, keeping his dark eyes focused on me, and I begin to tremble.
"Emma? I hear congratulations are in order." Giovanni raises an eyebrow at me, and I choke hard on the piece of broccoli I put in my mouth. My eyes dart around the faces at the table, and Jake tenses. The ripples of anger from him surging instantly because I've been put on the spot by a man who rarely acknowledged my presence the last time I was here. I can feel Jake's whole body change like lightning.
"Ummm." I falter. Stammering because I have no idea what to say.
"Jake told us you're his VP now because you have a good business head and could do a lot of good in the future of our company." Arrick cuts in with a knowing smile, and I get the same edgy tone from Jake's voice. I notice the same cool look he gives his father for the first time. Arrick is obviously the family mediator in this volatile relationship, moving in to diffuse whatever this is easily. I smile at him gratefully, warmed to him instantly.
"I'm undecided if that's what I want anymore. I need to take some time to evaluate my career." I return quickly. Jake seems happy with the answer, Arrick smiles encouragingly, and everyone sets about the food in front of them.
Jake relaxes and starts digging into his food with his fork. I can't help but glance at Marissa directly across the table, and she's watching him under her lashes as she digs into her food. The whole atmosphere is tense and weird, unlike the last time I was with these people. All that friendly, energetic chatter and cozy banter are severely lacking.
"Actually. No. I meant that he's buying you a house next door." Giovanni drops the bombshell, and Marissa's head almost snaps off with the speed she spins toward him. Jake stiffens. His fingers tighten around his glass mid-way to his mouth. Sylvana gapes at her husband in anger and throws him a look that can only mean she's got some serious words for him when they're alone.
"Why wouldn't I? I intend to marry her one day, so of course, I'm going to buy us a house where we can raise a family and settle down." Jake's tone gives nothing away. I could almost kiss him when I see that bitch's lower lip wobble. Jake is used to dealing with Giovanni and plays his part effortlessly, never giving his father a hint of being rattled. The constant power struggle between father and son that I have witnessed a million times at work.
I try to swallow down the ravioli I've jammed into my mouth, but the ability has deserted me. I gulp orange juice to dislodge the lump in my throat, trying to calm my pounding heart and clammy palms. This dinner is tense, and I need to get through it before the dramatics with Marissa commence. I wish we had eaten upstairs after all.
"Well … seeing as you've already made a start with reproducing, I think it's a great idea, especially so close to home." This is obviously a remark to hurt me. Giovanni smiles toward him with an evil glint in his eyes. My heart rate quickens, and my stomach drops. I really do wonder why Giovanni hates me so much. Maybe he dislikes Jake looking to make a future with me. Giovanni obviously disproves Jake marrying his ex-PA.
Oh my God. Ground, please open and take me now.
"Yes. I'm sure when he gets weekend access to our child, a house here will be great, seeing as I intend to move back home for the first few years." Marissa flutters her lashes, deviously throwing Jake a sexy smile, hiding nothing of her malicious jibe. All I can do is gawp at her and what she's saying, the fact she intends to become a more permanent, closer thorn in my side by moving back here. Consumed with an inner rise of anger and heartbreak, dueling to get on top of one another. This is not how a new home is supposed to be received in our lives. I catch Jake frowning at her from the corner of my eye and know he's thinking the same thing.
Marissa moving here was never part of the plan at all.
"Actually … I was talking about Emma's baby." Giovanni leans back with a wolfish grin and a satisfied glint in his eye. The clatter of cutlery as Marissa drops her fork and gapes at me with open-mouthed shock. I realize she's not the only one, Arrick's girlfriend is practically bug-eyed, gawping my way, and no one is holding cutlery now except me.
"Fuck's sake…." Jake snaps, raising a hand to pinch his brow, his elbow hitting the table to hold his arm up. He knows the shit is about to hit the fan, and he's waiting on it.
"Dad, you're an asshole." Arrick cuts in instantly, and Marissa erupts.
"What the actual fuck?! Since fucking when?!" She throws her napkin down on top of her food, glaring at him, then me, focusing on one after the other with sheer fury across her pouted mouth. She doesn't look quite so attractive now, and yet all I can do is lower my head and stare at my lap to try to control the surge of complete tension running through me. Giovanni certainly knows how to ruin dinner.
"Arrick. Please take Gloria to the front room, and I'll have your plates sent through … Giovanni. I suggest you go eat in your office!" Sylvana snaps, taking control, and stands up. She puts a hand on Marissa's shoulder, sharply sitting her down since Marissa has risen from her seat in anger.
"How did you find out?" Jake glares at Giovanni furiously. The waves of rage can almost be seen rippling across the table. Everyone looks at the older man sitting smugly, sipping his glass of wine, as though he's completely unaware of the scene he's just caused.
"You underestimate me, Jacob. Two women at this table with a pregnancy glow and drinking fresh orange instead of my $2000 a bottle Chardonnay. You forget I'm a father who knows when a lady is carrying, and I'm fully aware you set up a viewing for the Wilson house. He's my golfing partner, after all. I'm just disappointed you felt you could tell your mother and brother, the only two who did not react to this news and still hadn't told me." He slides up, lifts his glass, and walks coolly toward the door while Jake visually throws daggers into his back. All I can think of is how keen-eyed Senior Carrero is. He is a smart cookie, after all. I can't help but be a little impressed with his scarily keen observations.
I want the ground to open and devour me. The seething hatred emanating my way from Demon Bitch is making my skin prickle, and inner-Teen-Emma rage is looming inside. Arrick and his girlfriend are practically high-tailing it out of the room, and Sylvana glares at everyone with a sheer angry momma bear look. This is not how I envisioned this would go. I had no idea we'd even be telling Marissa about the baby just yet, so I guess, in a way, Giovanni has done us a favor.
"So, this is why you keep fucking stalling and pissing me about?!" Marissa spits with venom across the table as Sylvana moves toward her. I'm unsure what her intentions are, but the kind maternal expression is gone. Now she's angry mamma ready to tackle a crazy pregnant woman down if she dares get up.
"Shut up, Marissa, and calm the fuck down." Jake glares at her. I catch the simmering of something between them; fury on his part and possibly the same from her. I wonder if this was how the meetings in LA went in the past.
"Mamma. I think the three of us need to do this without you here." Jake turns to Sylvana, and a flash of stubbornness flicks across her attractive face. She lifts her chin for a moment, narrows her gaze on him, and then sighs in defeat.
"Behave like adults. I'll be dealing with your father." She turns, walks around the table, and leaves, picking up Arrick and Gloria's plates in passing, ushering the last of her house staff with her, including the poor girl who was caught like a deer in headlamps in the corner and pulling the door closed behind them.
We're left, just the three of us, fused together with heightened emotion emanating across the dining room, air filled with the oppressive atmosphere and a moment of deafening silence. I look to Jake for any sign of how to act or what to say and notice he's looking down at the table, pushing around his wine glass, steadying his anger with slow even breaths. He's thinking about what he wants to say before he erupts too. I know this version of him. I've seen it in boardroom meetings when someone is pushing his buttons, and he's about to go all 'Alpha Boss' mode and take them down. I shiver in anticipation and suddenly don't want to be here and doing this. I want to be upstairs or anywhere else but here between these two.
"Well?" Marissa snaps impatiently.
"Marissa, yes, Emma is pregnant. It wasn't planned, but I'm happy. We're happy about it. It doesn't concern you in the slightest." Jake's steady even tone is laced with aggression. He's trying so hard to get control of this conversation before it erupts again.
"How the fuck does this not concern me exactly?! Everything I have asked for with our baby, Jake, every request has been fucking denied me, and now I know why! You're setting up happy families with her, and my child is being tossed aside like it doesn't fucking matter!" She spits and slams her palms onto the table wildly, setting cups and glasses rattling unsteadily. I jump with the impact, and Jake immediately brings a hand to my lap to comfort me.
"This is recent, Marissa. It has nothing to do with any of that. Your demands are ridiculous. Parenting classes, running to LA every time you click your fingers. We're not in a relationship, and I don't want to spend more time than necessary with you." Jake growls back at her, tempers rising, and I grasp his fingers to urge him to calm down. Jake's so much better than this. He deals with negotiations and hard-headed business tycoons daily. He shouldn't lower himself to her standards. He squeezes back, and I throw him a subtle supportive smile. He takes a calming breath and sits back, lifting his wine, taking slow, deliberate sips, and giving himself a moment.
"So, tell me, Jake … You say you're happy? Funny … Because I remember the word abortion coming up when I told you that you would be a father! You said you didn't even want kids! Yet here you are now playing Mr. Daddy-to-be of the year, buying her a fucking house!" Marissa is sitting back with arms crossed across her cleavage, every word like venom on her tongue, glaring at me and not him, with highly intoxicated hatred.
"Why wouldn't I feel differently? You came to me after one drunk night that I can't even fucking remember and told me there was a baby. I am in love with Emma, had been for so long, and your appearance almost screwed up the chance I had with her." Jake stands up and walks off toward the unit behind us. Grabbing the bottle of wine, he steps back, filling his glass to the top. "When Emma found out she was pregnant, it was different. It changed everything, Marissa, because I love her and want a life with her because she's my world." He picks it up and downs the whole thing in one go.
Oh, this is not good.