CARL
The peace I once felt vanished into thin air the moment I raised my head and watched the door creak open like someone was trying to open it in a barely noticeable manner from behind. My heart jumped, leaping to my throat as no amount of denial could help me get over the fact that it was Linda by the door.
My office door.
It couldn't be anyone else, and I hadn't taken the precautions to inform security to stop her from entering, though I'd informed my secretary to tell her that I wasn't on the seat. How Linda was in my office was the last thing that I was curious about. What I wanted to know was why she was here. Immediately, I heard footsteps come from the corridor, but Linda immediately rushed in and slammed the door shut.
"That must have been your secretary," she responded in a lackadaisical tone. "She didn't want me to come in. She...said you weren't on seat, but I knew, Carl, I just knew deep down that you were here and you're so mad at me and, and you've been waiting for me to come so I brought upon myself to come here and...you know, tell you that I'm sorry and I didn't mean-"
"Mr Harrison..." my secretary called out as she knocked. "I tried to stop her but-"
"Oh, shut up, you cunt!" Linda barked as she tilted her head in the direction of the door, her face had an uninviting scowl. "Shut up and let me talk to my husband! What is it with women in suits and always trying to get into your pants? Why are they crawling all over you, Carl!? Why?"
The shock never became easy to process, and the madness I'd already regarded as routine, something to be wallowed in. The price of misfortune for my stupidity, but the realization and rationality didn't make my heart hurt less, neither did it melt the bitter fucking lump that bobbed in my throat with every passage of saliva. Brushing past her without uttering a single word, I opened the door.
"It's fine. You may return to your post. I'd handle it." My secretary looked past me into where Linda was, then back at me. Her opinions weren't exactly hard to read.
Oh! What an insane couple!
Her expression blatantly read, but insanity wasn't even enough a word to describe whatever went on in Linda's head. Reluctantly, the door pulled close, and I shuffled my feet against the hard, marble floor, returning to the ticking bomb that eyed me with those dainty, despicable eyes. "Carl..."
I reached for a seat and pulled it for myself, holding in the flood of words that knocked at the gate of my lips. I sucked in the air like it was a defense mechanism, and control seemed to be slipping past my grip. If not because I've had a security sweep in this office, I'd have said she's wired it to. That was how much of a Joe Goldberg I was about to have a child with.
Talking about having bad luck, I was now convinced that I carried the crown of misfortune and was at the top of the Suffer To Death list that the devil had made. Hell, to even suffer this much, I must have been Hitler in my past life.
"Carl, you're not responding to me." Her tone was now cool, almost as if a switch had been flipped in her head, and if anyone were in the room with us, this gimmick would grab them right by the ankle and pull them down the web of her deception. Talk about a modern-day Pennywise. "I'm so sorry, Carl. I'm so sorry that I...tracked your car. Look, I'm not crazy, okay?"
And the moon is blue. My head happened to tilt on its own. You're insanity yourself, Linda. You're an entire psychiatric hospital with four limbs. But I wasn't bothered, or interested enough to voice my thoughts. My plan was to watch this play out and have her fucking leave my office while the divorce papers stayed in cooking.
"I'm really not crazy. I just love you so much! That tracker was there only to make sure you're always safe!
I..." She shuddered a gasp. "It was never my intention to always find out your whereabouts with it. It just happened! I was so pained when you left home, and I knew I had to find you. Carl..." She beckoned to me with her arms stretched forth.
I'd never hated the anticipation of contact more, so I pushed before she could stagger to where I was. If she touched me, I would have no other option than to shove her down the stairs by myself. That was how much disgust I harbored on the inside.
"And then I found that you were at a hotel. Look, I knew you were angry that I announced our child on the internet and that you needed time to think about it and forgive me, but you took so long to come, so I just...freaked out and came to find you, but then I saw that lady..."
"All this talking wouldn't make the divorce papers come later," I declared, slicing through her words in a mocking tone. "You're talking too much, and it's disturbing my work. You could have sent your excessive apology texts as usual."
"You know it's me, right?" She moved closer, her eyes clouded with tears. "You know it's Linda. The woman you love so much. Your wife!"
"Ex-wife," I corrected monotonously.
"What are you saying!?" Whether she jumped or she leaped, I didn't know, but her hands reached for mine, and she grabbed my hands. I jerked back immediately, stepping away from her. "You love me! You've always loved me. You can't fucking leave me now. After everything, Carl? You want to leave after everything?"
"LINDA, PLEASE!" I banged the table hard, and some of the files on it scattered away. My voice echoed through the walls of the room in a rough rumble. The pen I held was asphyxiated by my grip and I seethed, feeling that strong burn in my chest bubbling up to my throat. "After everything? That should be my fucking line! You are everything that people should fucking run away from!"
"What does that mean? Carl, please?" She bit into the words, whispers owned by her weeping voice. She dropped her knees slowly and pressed her hands together while tears streamed down her cheek. "Carl, you cannot do this to me. You ca- You can't just leave!"
"Oh, hell, I can."
"B-but why? Why don't you love me anymore!?"
"Because you're a crazy wench!" The words fell heavily from my lips, no matter how hard I tried to hold. It wasn't even an insult. It was just me stating the purest fact. "Because you're so fucking insane, and I want you out of my office, or I'll have you thrown out, Linda!"
I turned away, but she was quick to grab my hand, and she pulled me back to her. Well, she tried to. "That's a lie! That's a lie, Carl. You didn't think I was crazy two months ago! Alma comes into town, and suddenly, you want a divorce? You say I'm not good enough after everything I've done for you and try to just.. throw our marriage under the bus and walk away? Because of her!"
"Alma had nothing to go with this!" I growled defensively; the statement retched from the deepest of my throat. I was staring eye to eye at Linda, who wept mindlessly. "This is not about Alma!"
"But you do have feelings for her!" She yelled back, pushing my chest and punching softly. I clenched my fist and tried to step away, but Linda just wouldn't stop. "Fucking admit it! You are still in love with her, and you're willing to let go of me for her! You son of a bitch! You good for nothing, son of a bitch, you ungrateful pushover! How could you push me away so fast because of her!?"
"That's not--"
"Don't lie to me, Carl! Tell me the fucking truth. Are you in love with Alma!" She didn't stop there, she grabbed my collar with one hand, and the other sent a small smack across my face.
I barely felt it, but fuck! She smacked me!? The room was suddenly dipped in red, and my vision was clouded by anger. I grabbed Linda by her shoulder and slammed her hard into the wall, and I tightly fisted her neck with my other hand.
"Yes, I fucking love Alma. So what? I made the stupidest mistake of choosing you, and it FUCKING RUINED MY LIFE!" I snarled at her, and my hand only seemed to tighten around her tiny neck. "What are you going to do about it?!"
"Y-you-re hurting m-me!"
"She's always been better! God, I'm so stupid! There you have it, Linda! You got your fucking response! I do love, Alma! I am in love with her!"
Her face had gone red, and as much as I'd love to let go, I just didn't want to. Not hearing her talk was blissful, it was comforting, it felt like fucking heaven! If only she'd shut up like this all this time! Linda slapped my hand repeatedly, croaking. "Let's...go. L-let. I c-can't breathe! I can't!"
She can't breathe. I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and pulled my hand away from Linda, who immediately dropped to the floor. My fingers raked through my disheveled hair as a thousand thoughts ran through my headspace. I fucked up, big time. I touched her!
"Oh, fuck! Oh fuck!" I muttered underneath my breath, and the pressure weighed on my shoulders. It was way too heavy, and I crumbled under the wicked weight of it.
That was what I felt until I heard it. A scoff, then a snicker, then an aggressive chortle before Linda finally stood up and erupted into full-blown laughter
She laughed.
She laughed heartily, manically, as though her world had ended, and as she did, tears spilled from her eyes. Her hands wrapped around her neck, the same spot I'd choked her, while her other hand wiped the tears off her face. Color me surprised when I heard her say. "You don't have a choice now, my love."
The same woman who'd begged to be saved now had a wide grin sitting on her face. My brows pinched together, and my lips remained slightly parted while Linda fished out her phone from her purse and placed it on my table.
"What?" I quizzed with a grimace.
"You admitted it. You admitted that you were in love with your ex-wife to your pregnant wife, and that wasn't all. You also tried to choke your wife to death for another woman," she tapped the screen with the back of her fingers. "And I have it all recorded. Right here. And...it was also duplicated and shared to my linked laptop at home, dear husband."
Another "What?"
I drowned without being underwater, and my legs were almost jelly. Still, I maintained an unfazed facade. "So? Is that supposed to make me worried?"
"No, no," she dismissed with a wave as she walked closer. Linda coughed and rubbed her neck again. "It hurts like a bitch. Why wouldn't you do this in bed instead? Seriously, you have the talent, my love!"
"Go straight to the point!"
"Ah, I see..." She rolled her eyes. "Always so serious, aren't you, my love?" Now, she was standing right before me, grinning so widely. "I just thought, you know, it'd be a very, very blow to Alma and your reputation if an audio like this naturally manages to reach the internet, don't you think? What would all those people say about her when her ex-husband is leaving his pregnant wife to her?"
"That's ridiculous!"
"Exactly!" She scoffed, her voice surly. "Should we see if everyone else would think the same? Alma will probably resent you for it, but hey? We never can tell. So, shall I post it, or will you come back home, my love, and resume your duties as my husband."
Linda patted my shoulders slightly. "The ball is in your court, my love. I'd be waiting for you at home." She walked away and stopped right by the door. "Oh, your mother is coming over for a while. In this condition, I need an older woman to take care of me."
I fucked up. I messed up this time.