Jessica
I’m so ashamed of what I told Luke yesterday. I said he looked good, and he immediately knew that I didn’t mean it in a sisterly way. No, I meant it in a “damn, you’re fine” kind of way, and he didn’t take it lightly. He said I was his sister and gently turned me down, yet it still hurt.
And this morning, when I drag my feet inside the kitchen, I’m swallowed up by embarrassment. I don’t know how to face Luke now, especially when he looks up and smiles at me. Shit. He is so pretty. Am I just supposed to pretend as if I’m not attracted to him? And shit! When did I become such a slut for my own stepbrother? I’m so weird...
“Morning,” Luke says and takes a bite from his toast. It crunches in his mouth. “Slept well?”
I take a seat by the table, my heart hammering inside my chest. There is a smile on Luke’s face. It stretches his mouth wide and shows some of his teeth as well as his dimples, yet I can tell the smile is forced.
The air is thick and heavy with unspoken words. It hurts. I bet Luke thinks that I’m a weirdo for being into him. A lot of girls are, but his own stepsister? Ugh. It’s so cringe that I told him the truth yesterday - why didn’t I lie?!
“I slept just fine,” that’s a lie, but I can’t tell him the truth and say our conversation yesterday kept me up all night. I don’t want to walk down that route.
Luke’s smile fades as he sips his coffee. “Look, Jess, about yesterday... I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. You’re not in love with me, right?”
My chest fills with shame. It feels too small for the pain that’s going through it. I hate being put on the spot like this. It’s embarrassing, yet I somehow manage to fight back the tears prickling behind my eyelids.
“No, of course not,” I hand him my most convincing smile. It’s a fake one, but it will do the job. “I just...I don’t know what I was thinking, really. Sorry.”
Luke laughs, and that makes the pain even worse, but I need to keep up the charade. I continue to smile, even when he says something that utterly breaks me, “Yeah. I don’t know what got into you either. We are step-siblings - it was sort of gross hearing you call me good-looking. No offense.”
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Luke’s words are like venom, and I can feel it coursing through my veins, burning me up from the inside. How could he say something like that? I guess he doesn’t know that I was serious yesterday. He thinks I was joking and doesn’t realize I’m dying.
I try to force a laugh, but it comes out sounding fake and strained. “Yeah, I know. It was stupid of me. I won’t let it happen again.”
Luke nods and takes another bite of his toast. The silence between us is deafening, and I wish I could disappear into thin air. This is so uncomfortable, and I don’t know how to make it better. Maybe I should just go upstairs and avoid him for the rest of the day. That would be the easiest thing to do.
But just as I’m about to get up from the table, Luke speaks again. “Hey, Jess. I don’t want things to be weird between us. We’re family, and I care about you. We are cool, right?”
I’m not sure what to say, but since the truth isn’t an option, I force a bright smile. “Y-yeah. We are cool.”
“Kay,” he smiles back. “So, are you excited about the party that’s happening later?”
Normally, I would roll my eyes here and tell him he is a fool for thinking I would enjoy a social thing. But I’m too drained and tired to be sassy, so I just keep the smile.
“Totally excited,” I say in a low tone and fish up my phone from my pocket when I feel it vibrate. It’s a text from Sydney, and I’m more than grateful for the interruption. “Can you excuse me for a second,” I say with fake cheerfulness and rush off toward the stairs. “I need to take this.”
“Oh...of course!” Luke says. “Is someone calling you?”
“No, but Sydney needs my help with something,” she doesn’t, but I need to get away from Luke before my heart is going to shatter into pieces.
I take the stairs two at a time and slip into my room before I collapse onto the floor, breathing hard. I feel so stupid for thinking Luke might want something more than friendship with me. What did I expect? The future Alpha of my pack and my stepbrother to have feelings for me?
I take my phone out and read Sydney’s message.
Sydney: What to grab a coffee before Randy’s party later? Though I suppose it’s your party since it’s held at your house now. Well...whatever. Starbucks?
I stare at the message for a minute and smile. This could be good for me. I need to get out of the house.
Me: Pick me up in an hour?
Sydney: Sure!
***
“So, what’s going on between you and Luke?” Sydney asks me when we are at Starbucks.
“Nothing,” I say.
“You had a fight, didn’t you?”
“How do you know?” I complain with a moan. “Are you some kind of mind-reader?”
She giggles. “No, but only Luke can put that sorta frown on your face. It only happens when you fight with him.”
I sigh. “You know me too well...”
Sitting at the small table, I sip my coffee and look through the glass of the ordered cake. The place is quiet, save for two girls sitting in the back, talking loudly about their outfits for the event later. The television at the counter is playing the news. There’s a news story about the murder of a few people in the nearby town. According to the report, no one has been arrested yet, and the authorities are still in the search for the attacker.
My heart sinks hearing the news, and I look away. The murders that’s been happening in the nearby town are so fucked up. All the victims are left without blood in their bodies. Makes you wonder if vampires are involved...
“So, what happened?” Sydney asks again, breaking my thoughts.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say.
Sydney purses her lips but then shrugs. “Alright, I guess. Are you at least excited about the party?”
“Uh-huh,” I mutter. “It’s going to be great.”
She snorts, definitely able to tell I’m being sarcastic. My best friend knows I’m a big introvert.
But then, I catch a scent that is so familiar. It’s the scent of Luke. I turn my head and see him standing at the entrance of Starbucks. My heart starts to race when I see him looking around, but it breaks when I see a woman throwing herself at him to kiss his lips.
I look away in sadness, feeling my heart sink even further. Despite knowing Luke messes around with a new girl every month, it still feels like a punch to the gut to see them together.
Sydney clears her throat, and I turn back to her. She’s wearing a sympathetic expression on her face. Can she tell that I have feelings for Luke? Wait...do I? Maybe I do. Nothing else can explain why I feel so shitty seeing him together with that other woman...right?
“Let’s go,” I say softly. “We still need to buy you new clothes for tonight.”
“Good point,” Sydney says. “But I think I’m just gonna wear this. It’s casual enough for the event.”
I look at her outfit. Yep, she’s right. She’s wearing black pants, black heels, and a black bralette that shows a little of her cleavage. It’s casual enough for the festival.
She smirks and tosses her blonde hair over her shoulder. “I would say that you’d look good in anything, but I know that’s not true.”
I roll my eyes and push her shoulder. “Shut up.”
She laughs. “Okay, okay. Don’t murder me. I’m just messing with you...” She looks me up and down. “Seriously though, you want something less black?”
I smile. “No, but I need to find a new onesie. Mine is super old and kind of nasty.”
“Let’s go then!”
We walk out of the coffee shop, and I follow Sydney into the mall. Guys are checking her out, whistling as she passes while barely anyone pays me any attention. I’m not busty and blonde like her, but I don’t mind. I’m just happy that all of the attention is on Sydney, so I won’t have to endure it. I hate being the center of attention.
Sydney and I enter a couple of stores, and I wind up finding a new shirt that I really like. But as we round the corner, I bump into someone. I look up to see it’s Luke and his girlfriend. The coffee in her hand spills all over my new white shirt, staining it with brown liquid.
“Oh!” she gasps. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!”
My heart drops as a wave of embarrassment washes over me. Sydney looks at me sympathetically and starts helping me clean my shirt, but it doesn’t help much. Now, I don’t even have anything nice to wear tonight...
“Wait,” the girl giggles. “It can’t have been an expensive shirt anyway, right?”
I look up at her. “I bought it just now.”
“Oh...well, that sucks, I suppose,” the girl on Luke’s arm shrugs like she still doesn’t really care. “Well, I’m sorry.”
Luke looks at me apologetically, but I can’t bring myself to look at him, feeling too humiliated. His girlfriend looks at me with a scowl before dragging him away. I can hear her muttering about how clumsy I am, but I don’t care. I just want to get out of there.
“It’s no problem,” I mutter. “It was an accident.”
The girl seems happy with that and walks away. Luke doesn’t immediately follow her but looks at me. “I’m sorry,” he says before finally following his girlfriend out of the store.
I sigh when they are gone, feeling like everything is against me. I shouldn’t have left the house today. I should have just stayed in bed and avoided all of this.
Sydney puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. We will find something else for you to wear tonight.”
I give her a smile, but I can’t help feeling like everything is ruined. The rest of the day is a blur of shopping and trying on clothes, but nothing seems to fit right or feel good.
By the time we get to my place, I’m exhausted and feeling like a failure. I don’t want to go to the party anymore. What’s the point? I’m not going to have a good time anyway.
But as soon as I step into the house, I can feel the excitement in the air. Music is blaring, and people are laughing and talking. I can’t help feeling a little more energized by the energy in the room.
Sydney grabs my hand and pulls me towards the party. “Come on, let’s go dance or something.”
I hesitate for a moment, but then I let her pull me along. There are plenty of people and alcohol, and I brighten up. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.