Sarah
I look at the women in the sitting room, wondering if I should pinch myself to make sure this is real, and I’m not cooking this vision up in my muddled brain.
I have no idea where Cosette went, but Isla remains in her wingback chair, her legs crossed as she balances a steaming cup of coffee on her knee. Her head is slightly bowed as she speaks in low tones to Maddy, who is fluttering around a low lying coffee table, arranging cookies and pastries on a little tray.
Two queens. A mother and daughter by love and marriage with a bond forged by hard times.
My stomach does a little flip as I sink to the white carpeted floor with Blake babbling incoherently in my arms as he reaches for the hazel eyed babysitter only a few feet away.
“Careful, she’s crawling now,” Kenna says with some effort as she sinks to her knees, then stretches her legs out with her back resting against the couch. Brie’s curly brown hair sticks up at all angles as she hones in on Blake, her pudgy fingers gripping the carpet for support.
“How old is she?” I ask, and Kenna’s eyes light up with so much love it could illuminate the room.
“She turns one this summer. She’s a little over nine months old now,” she smiles, catching Brie by the back of her pants and dragging her backward. “She loves babies and kittens. Anything smaller than her is fair game.”
I can’t help but smile as I lay Blake on his stomach. He lifts his head, squawks with displeasure, but settles when Brie squeals with delight and claps her hands at them.
This is rather cute, honestly. They’re cousins. Blake has a cousin, a born friend. Just like Sydney and Kenna.
Isla suddenly rises from her chair, and Maddy leads her out of the room, the two of them still talking in hushed murmurs and quiet laughs.
Kenna and I watch them go, and when we’re alone, she turns to me. “How are you feeling?”
I run my fingers through my hair and sigh. “I’m all right.”
Kenna arches her brow. I eye her, searching that strange silver gaze. I’ve often wondered why my power manifests in my eyes, why my eyes change color based on my moods or how much power is roiling in my blood, but Kenna is the same. I see hints of her powers swirling in her irises like the promise of an epic storm.
“I’m not okay,” I say without thinking. I’m tired of thinking. I’m tired of worrying and breaking my own heart over and over.
“I wouldn’t be either,” she whispers, her smile fading into something much softer and empathetic. She licks her lips, allowing Brie to gain a few more inches on Blake before pulling her back again. “I would have done the same thing to Evander, you know.”
I shake my head. “No. What I did was inexcusable.”
“What you did was necessary. Sydney might not get it, but I know he would have done the same thing to you if it meant keeping you safe.”
I chew my lower lip. Kenna scooches closer, wincing a bit as she adjusts her position next to me. Brie makes little grunting noises as she tries to claw her way toward Blake while Kenna keeps a finger hooked in her pants, keeping her in place.
Kenna is very pregnant. I was that pregnant recently; I remember vividly how uncomfortable it was.
“Look,” she says lightly, glancing at the archway leading to the foyer to confirm we’re still alone. “I understand, okay? Having powers like this–confusing, deadly powers with the ability to maim someone beyond repair–it’s hard enough. I was also hunted by Gabriel. I thought that attack on the ball was because of me, but you were there too. He got close enough to you to scare you, didn’t he?”
I close my eyes for a moment. “Yeah, I… I didn’t know until a few days later what had happened at that ball, and I saw him on TV and just…. I’d already wiped Sydney’s memories. I’d hoped it would be enough, but I saw Sydney again a few months later, this past fall. He came to my shop, and it was obvious he’d remembered me, somehow, just enough to ask if we’d met before.”
“Have you ever done this to anyone else?”
I nod, looking down at my lap as Brie gives up on her progress toward Blake and resorts to picking at the hem of my trousers instead. “The family I used to live with. It was my house mother’s idea. She knew bits and pieces about my powers from the people who snuck me over the border, but I was just a kid then. I couldn’t use them. She had no way to train me. But when I was a teenager, I returned to the island to visit. I was older and had been experimenting with my powers for a few years at that point. I was worried Gabriel, if he ever found me, would find her and punish her for what she did. He’d torture the truth out of her, so I gave her the option of taking those memories of me away, and she agreed.”
“Did it work?”
“Yes. It was flawless.”
I also did this to Ryan, in the atrium. He’d remembered me. He’d almost said so, but I wiped those memories clean off the map woven in his mind.
I lift Brie into my lap on impulse, needing something to ground me. Kenna watches us with a smile on her face. “But it didn’t work on Sydney, not totally?”
“It’s because we’re mates. I can wrap my powers around his memories and shield them, dissolving them, but I couldn’t erase our bond. Only the Goddess has that power, you know.” I clear my throat. I might as well just spill it all, laying everything out in the open. “He felt our bond. It’s why he came back the night he rescued me. He was drawn to me. I knew he’d come back one day, and I dreaded it, because I’d have to dive into his mind again and pick out any trace of me when the time came for me to leave, but I couldn’t do it.” I meet her eyes. “When he learned the truth about Blake, when I found the necklace in his office….” I can’t describe my heartbreak. “I wanted him. I didn’t want to leave him again, but I had to. I just couldn’t stand the idea of ripping myself out of his head again. I wanted my memory to stay there so somewhere, someone would remember me. Someone would remember my name. I left knowing the time we spent together was still in his mind, clear and whole, because I couldn’t stomach the idea of having to live a life where my own mate couldn’t remember my face, and it was the most selfish thing I could have done.”
“It’s not selfish,” she whispers, clutching my arm. “I can’t imagine having to do what you did. Evander and I had a rough go of it at first, of course. Being mates isn’t an easy thing to come to terms with. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies, even though I often dreamed it would be. Evander didn’t want me to be his mate because he swore to keep me safe and didn’t think he could do so if distracted by our bond. I was able to talk him out of that, though.” She winks at me, patting her belly.
I chuckle, and the ice around my heart cracks a bit, letting in some warmth.
“What I’m trying to say is that no one blames you for what you had to do. You were protecting Sydney. He was tortured this summer in Eastonia. I know someone must have dug around in his mind. If they’d found you, you wouldn’t be here. Blake wouldn’t be here. And Sydney would likely be dead. You did the right thing.”
I did the right thing.
The words echo through my head, shattering that ice once and for all.
“It doesn’t negate the fact he won’t ever trust me again.”
“Oh, please,” she laughs, waving her hand in dismissal. “Sydney is goo-goo eyed around you. This isn’t about trust at all. He loves you. He won’t admit it, but he does. He’s just being an Alpha male and obsessing over protecting you, not wanting anyone to even look in your direction. This will pass, and one day you’ll back on all of this and laugh.”
“Do you look back on what you went through with Evander and laugh?”
I have no idea what happened to her, but a darkness fills her eyes. She shakes her head, giving me a timid smile. “Not yet, but I’m confident I will. If my parents can joke about the terrible things they went through, then one day, so can we.”
Brie tumbles out of my lap, grunting. Kenna chuckles at her daughter as she rolls toward Blake, expertly coming to a stop in front of him on all fours.
Brie cautiously extends her tiny pointer finger toward him. Blake goes nearly crossed eyed as he watches her finger coming closer, and closer.
“Boop,” Brie says, flashing Blake a two-toothed grin as she pokes him on the nose.
Blake squeals with delight, and then Kenna and I are laughing, tears in our eyes.
“What’s going on in here?” Maddy asks with a smile as she returns to the sitting room with Isla.
“Brie is trying desperately to eat this other baby,” Kenna says with a laugh.
As if on cue, Brie leans down like she’s going to give Blake a kiss, but tries to close her mouth around his fist instead.
“No biting,” Kenna says in a deep, growling voice that Brie obviously adores because she belly laughs.
“Blake is such a handsome baby, Sarah,” Isla says as she sits on the armrest of the couch holding another cup of coffee. “All that hair, and blue eyes, too.”
“It’s a shame he didn’t get your eyes,” Kenna says teasingly, but I feel a little pang in my chest. It’s a reminder to tread lightly, to keep my big, fat mouth shut if possible.
“I love your eye color,” Maddy gushes. “It’s the same color as my office. I spent weeks trying to find the right mix of colors to achieve it.” She plants her hands on her hips, tapping her foot. “You know what, I want to show you. Come on, I haven’t given you a tour yet.”
I’m not given a choice. I look over my shoulder as Isla kneels on the ground with Kenna and the babies. Maddy hustles me up the grand staircase, which is sweeping and opulent, and soon I find myself in a maze of hallways where art lines the walls and portraits of King Isaac’s ancestors stare back at me, unblinking, the ghosts of which are likely reading my thoughts.
I step into Maddy’s office and find that she was right. Her lavender wallpaper is, in fact, a perfect match to my eyes. She’s pleased with herself, grinning like mad as she rounds her wide, pale wood desk, and sits down.
“I suppose we should talk about the flowers now.”
“What flowers?” she asks, opening a drawer. “Oh, for the dinner party. No, no. I’m not putting you to work so soon after you’ve recovered. But I do hope you’ll come as a guest, of course.” She pulls out an old notebook and flips through it.
I sit down in a large, warm chair the color of cream and wonder what exactly I’m doing right now.
“Cosette wanted a recipe,” she murmurs, flipping a page.
“Oh,” I reply, clearing my throat, but then Maddy sighs deeply and runs her hands over her face. “Are you–are you all right?”
“I don’t want to pry,” she says hurriedly, tucking her hands in her lap. She’s fidgeting, which doesn’t quite register in my head because, to me, this woman is the queen, and not a regular person with feelings and little quirks. Her eyes meet mine, the same shade and shape as Sydney’s… and Blake’s. She sighs again and makes up her mind about something.
“Sydney was in pieces when you got sick. I’ve never seen him so worried before. It broke my heart.”
“He’s been taking very good care of me.”
“I know he has, and that–” She licks her lips, gazing up at the ceiling. “Oh, Sarah. Sydney is head over heels for you. I know I shouldn’t say anything because it’s not my business to get involved, but I worry about my son so much that it drives me insane. He’s so much like his father, you know. Hard headed. Both of them, Isaac and Ella, are like that. I just want Sydney to let himself be happy.”
“He’s happy,” I say, but I have no idea if it’s the truth.
“When I saw him last, he had Blake with him. It’s so kind of you to trust him with that boy. When Brie was taken this summer… Goddess, Sydney has never been the same.”
“He’s so good with Blake,” I say as tears begin to well in my eyes. “They’re so alike.” I choke on the words, trying to take them back, but Maddy’s gaze meets mine.
She’s a mother. She understands wanting, and needing, the best, safest options for her children. She, other than Kenna, might be the only person who understands what it’s like to have a child in grave danger.
“They are so alike,” she says in a whisper, and I see the realization dawn in that clear, dark blue gaze.
I cover my face with my hands at the very moment she stands, sucking in a breath.
“You’re her. You’re the one he’s been looking for–”
“I can explain–”
“Blake is his?” her words crack with so much happiness, so much relief, if I’m being honest.
“Please don’t tell anyone. We haven’t talked about–” I feel her wrapping her arms around me. It’s a warm, soft embrace dripping with motherly affection.
It’s everything I’ve ever needed.
“I knew it,” she whispers into my hair. “Oh, Sarah, I knew from the moment I met you at my party. I won’t tell anyone, not until you’re ready, but welcome.” She takes me by the chin, forcing my face up so I have to look into her teary eyes. “Welcome to the family.”