Chapter Eighteen
Hovering over her, his eyes locked on hers, his dick buried in her tightness, he fucking knew he’d been right. He’d been so right about her, about everything about her.
From one look, he’d known, and the knowledge of it ravished him because he’d never have her fully, completely.
For her, this was one night.
For him, it was forever.
He knew, like he knew from one look he’d never meet a woman who compared. He’d never forget either. This moment would be seared in his mind for the rest of his life.
He knew it, felt it. So he knew he should stop, knew he shouldn’t let himself feel any more of it, knowing he’d never be able to fuck a tap to blow off steam. She’d damaged him for good, soiling every other woman on the face of the earth, but he didn’t care. If he got a piece of her, one night of feeling this, he would take it.
With her lying pliant and willing under him, he pulled out, then thrust into her slowly, allowing her to grow accustomed to the feel of him. Her walls clenching him, she moaned the sweetest moan. The entire time, her beautiful, color-changing eyes never left his. He let himself believe it was because she wanted to memorize him above her, inside, stretching, and owning her. He let himself believe it because he wanted that, too.
She wrapped her trembling legs around his waist, pressing her heels against his lower back pushing herself into him. One hand buried in his hair, and the other wrapped around his shoulders.
He slammed his lips against hers, delving into her mouth in a frenzy, then thrust into her again, and she moaned in his mouth.
He continued his pace, soft, slow, and deep. It took all the restraint he had to make love to her, but he did it. He wanted to give her what she deserved, and she deserved to be loved.
To him, it didn’t matter. Even if he fucked her senseless, showing her what she’d be missing from that day forward, it’d always mean more than a casual fuck.
“Harder, Jace,” she whispered against his lips.
He drew away to stare into her eyes. Then he gave her what she wanted, hard and fast.
Totally worth it. With each pound, her arms and legs tightened like a vise grip around him, like she’d never let go, moaning and whimpering.
Holding back the need to spill, he reached for her clit and rubbed it roughly. She spasmed. Her hips bucked wildly.
It did him in. He lost control. Groaning, his eyes on hers, hers on him, he came, hard.
Then she cried out his name.
His name.
The sound resonated inside his chest long after his release, the most powerful, mind-blowing release of his life. He’d expected nothing less because he’d been so right about her it fucking hurt.
His chest tightening, a deep ache seared him. Unable to move and unwilling to try, he wanted to stay.
But it was over. He knew he’d lose her, knew he couldn’t prevent it. So, still buried inside, while he caught his breath, he relished the moment as best he could. Endless moments later, he cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. “I was fuckin’ right, baby. You taste and feel like heaven.”
Her eyes, misted with her release, watered.
It cut him deep. He’d either hurt her or she already felt the shame of fucking trash like him. He would’ve apologized, but guilt clogged his throat.
Her arms tightened around him. A tear slipped out of her eye. “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
It knocked the wind out of him. Letting the feeling sink in, he wiped the tear from her face.
Still, he didn’t want it to end, so he kissed her long and hard. Her tongue darted into his mouth and entwined perfectly with his, like she didn’t want him to leave.
Shit. He was getting hard again, and he still had on the old condom. He had to find the will to pull away and out of her. Wanting to relish it, he slowly pulled out. She tensed and unwrapped her arms and legs from him, then looked away. A sadness took hold of her expression. It pleased him so much the ache in his chest lessened. Then and there, he decided to do what he had never done before, cuddle. If he had just one night with her, he would take that night, and the night wasn’t over.
Smiling, he stood and walked toward her bathroom, removed the condom, and flushed it. He stepped back into her room and found her curled into a ball with her back toward him. Without thought, he climbed into her bed.
She sat up, turning to face him. Her brows drew together. He read the question in her eyes, but he let his actions speak.
Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her against him until she was sprawled on his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Sleep, baby.”
She lifted her head to meet his eyes. “I don’t have much experience…with…um…sex.” Her cheeks flushed. “I know you do, and I’m sure you hear it a lot…but that was…amazing.”
He tugged her up and over him, her face inches from his. He trailed his fingers down her face. “That’s ’cause you’re amazing, Allie.”
“You don’t have to say nice things to get me into bed. You already did.”
“I wouldn’t mind having you in my bed every night.”
He meant it. She let him in, even if for just one night, and it meant he had a taste, and God help him, but he would fight for more because one night wasn’t enough.
She smiled, then rested her head against his chest. In minutes, she fell asleep.
****
Morning dawned, the alarm clock on the side of Allie’s bed blinked eight a.m. Trig hated the night had gone so quickly. He had nodded off twice. He didn’t need much sleep and with her cuddled against him reality was, for once, sweeter than a dream.
But it was Saturday morning. He looked forward to Saturdays and spending the day with his niece all week. Right then, he wanted it to be any other day. He didn’t want to leave Allie.
She slept, soundlessly, breathing deeply. Her head on his shoulder, facing him, her leg tangled with his, and her dark, long hair sprawled against his arm. Even sleeping, without a shred of makeup, she was beautiful.
He hated waking her. Not just because she looked so peaceful and so beautiful, but because after last night he didn’t know how she’d react, how she’d feel about what they’d done, what they’d shared. And if last night was all he had, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to hold on to that moment as long as he could, wanted to stay there and stare at her. But he couldn’t do that either; he had to get Della.
He pressed his lips against her forehead, kissing her lightly. He’d done it so many times throughout the night he’d lost count. Disentangling himself from her slowly, he shifted until her head rested against the pillow. After dressing, he took a deep breath, and then he did what he could come to regret.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he kissed her lips ever so softly, then whispered, “Baby?” He ran his fingers through her hair.
She mumbled incoherently.
He kissed her again. “Allie, baby?”
Her lids fluttered open briefly, then closed.
He rubbed his fingers across her cheek. “You look beautiful.”
She smiled and pressed her chest against his thigh.
“Gotta get Della. One of the guys will watch you today. Be back later.”
She smiled and whispered softly, “Okay.”
Like she wanted him to come back.
He grinned. He probably looked like an idiot grinning to himself, but he didn’t fucking care. She wanted him back.
Yeah, he was the luckiest trailer trash on earth.
****
Allie buried her face in the pillow, seeking more of the intoxicating scent she’d dreamed about, the scent she usually avoided. In the haze of sleep, she didn’t realize who it belonged to, but as the seconds turned to minutes, it hit her.
She shot up in bed, clutching the blanket against her, her eyes frantically scanning her room.
It hadn’t been a dream. It had been real, and now, he was gone.
In the pit of her stomach, she knew who he was, and she’d been warned. So she knew without searching the rest of her apartment, he was gone. She hated she’d stupidly let herself believe everything he said, hated she thought for even a split second what they’d done meant something to him.
Sitting there on her bed, naked and deliciously satisfied, she held back tears, knowing she deserved the throbbing ache in the middle of her chest.
It wasn’t his fault. She’d done this to herself.
She had to face facts now. Better now than later. She’d initiated it. She’d kissed him, and then, she let him kiss her and touch her and fuck her. To him, that was all it had been, an easy fuck, a one-night stand, no better than the taps he got off on.
Shame didn’t even begin to describe how she felt. She’d never had a one-night stand, never had a sex-buddy. Never had she been so stupid and reckless with her body and her heart.
She was an idiot.
Allie sat there, immobile for moments too long. Then she squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and got out of bed. Pulling on a robe, she parted her bedroom door and headed into the living room where she spotted Blaze on her couch.
“Hey, Classy.”
She hadn’t expected Blaze. In fact, she’d hoped she wouldn’t see anyone from the club today. She should’ve guessed. Jace would fuck her and leave her, but he’d never leave her without a guard not because he cared, but because of Ty and the club.
She pulled her robe tighter. “H-Hi.”
“Look surprised. Thought you knew the club was watchin’ you.”
“Yeah, sorry…I forgot for a second.”
He scanned her face. Her clue he’d caught on she wasn’t okay. She forced herself to look away. “Do you want coffee, some breakfast?”
He smiled. “Won’t say no to food, especially not anything you make.”
She gave him her best fake smile, then busied herself making pancakes and brewing a pot of coffee.
A knock sounded on her door, her heart skipped a beat. Blaze parted it. Cuss strode through, smiling.
She released a breath. “Hi, Cuss.”
“Miracle, you makin’ me breakfast?”
She smiled. “Actually, I was making Blaze breakfast. He didn’t tell me you were coming.”
Cuss’s face fell. He then shot a glare in Blaze’s direction, who laughed.
“Don’t worry, there’s enough for you.”
Cuss’s gaze met hers. He grinned.
They ate together on her small dining room table, and after, she made calls to Mia, Lynn, and Tiffany, and made plans to get out of her apartment. It reminded her of him, of her mistake.