I thought arriving in Virginia would make things better, but I feel even more lost. When Evangeline dropped me off at the airport in California, I called Brooke to let her know I was coming home, and she filled me in on all the good news. It kills me that I haven’t been around to enjoy it. Channon Vineyards is doing better than it ever has before. The new merlot we released on New Year’s Day is our top seller, almost outranking the Timberwolf Winery. It’s been my goal to beat Chase these past few years but knowing I’m almost there doesn’t give me any pleasure. I feel empty.
As soon as I get my luggage out of baggage claim, I head outside, and a blast of cold air chills me to the core. When we flew in, I saw the snow on the ground from above, but I didn’t think it would be so cold. Teeth chattering, I text Brooke to let her know I’m out front. A few minutes later, she pulls up in her pearl white Toyota Highlander.
The passenger’s side window rolls down, and she waves excitedly. “It’s so good to have you home. We have a lot of celebrating to do.”
“Yes, we do,” I reply, my voice quivering from the cold. I’m exhausted to the point I can barely think straight.
Brooke frowns and opens the back hatch of her car. “Poor thing, you’re freezing. Put your stuff in the back, and let’s go. I got the car all toasty warm.”
Warmth sounds amazing about now. My fingers are so frozen I can barely lift my suitcase into the back of her vehicle. Once it’s loaded, I quickly get inside and wrap my arms around myself as the heat blasts in my face. It takes a few minutes to thaw.
“Holy shit, it’s cold here,” I utter now that my teeth aren’t chattering anymore.
Brooke narrows her gaze at my choice of clothes. She’s dressed in a thick, burgundy sweater and jeans while I chose leggings and a thin, long-sleeved, pale yellow sweater so it’d be easy to run. “Um … that’s because you’re not in California anymore, where it’s seventy degrees. Where’s your coat?”
She drives away from the airport, and all I see is white. I’ve missed the beauty of snow, but I sure don’t miss the frigidness of it. “I guess I forgot to pack one.”
Brooke waves me off. “No worries. I have an extra one at the winery. I’m sure you’ll want to walk around and look at your grapes.”
My heart aches to be in the tranquility of my vineyard. “Yes, I do. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve been home.”
Brooke smiles over at me, and her gaze lands on my wrist. “Oh, wow, that bracelet is gorgeous. Did you get it for Christmas? It looks otherworldly.”
If she only knew.
I don’t even bother to look at it. “Yep, it was a present.” Not one I wanted.
“Is Knox still in Wyoming?” she asks, her voice curious.
My chest tightens, and I swallow the bile that’s threatened to make its way up my throat. In truth, Knox is in Wyoming, just six feet under the ground.
“He is,” I say, keeping my eyes averted from hers. “He likes it so much I think he’s going to stay there.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Brooke’s shoulders slump. She’s always had a thing for my brother, but he never gave her the time of day. At least, she’s better off now; she can move on to someone who deserves her.
It doesn’t take long to arrive at Channon Vineyards, and when we pull into the parking lot, there are only a couple of vacant spots. Eyes wide, I stare in fascination. There are people everywhere, all walking out with full hands. A wine bottle here, a case there. It’s a beautiful sight.
“Has it been like this since I left?”
Brooke winks. “Amazing, right? It’s Friday, so of course, it’s going to be packed. But even during the week, it’s slammed.”
We get out of the car, and I’m still amazed. “How many hours have you been putting in?” I ask her.
Brooke clears her throat and bites her lip, obviously nervous to tell me.
I step in front of her to block her way. “How many?”
Her brown eyes lift to mine. “A lot. It’s been hectic.”
And I was under a sleeping spell, unable to help her. Guilt racks through me. “I’m sorry, Brooke. I shouldn’t have left you all alone.”
She opens her mouth to speak, and I know what’s going to come out. She’ll say it was okay and that she had it handled. The problem is that she worked her ass off, and I didn’t compensate her. Without Brooke, my vineyards would’ve tanked.
“Don’t you dare say it’s all right,” I speak before she can get her words out. “I think it’s time you got a pay increase. You earned it.”
Her eyes double in size, and her lips tremble. “Kara, you don’t have to do that. You pay me a lot as it is.”
I shake my head. “Just take the raise. It’ll make me feel better.”
Pursing her lips, she nods. “Okay, you got it.”
A blast of wind blows past us, and I shiver.
Grabbing my arm, Brooke laughs. “Come on, let’s get you a jacket.”
We walk around the front entrance of the winery to the side where our offices are at. Brooke opens the door, and I breathe a sigh of relief the second I get inside, the smell of cinnamon overtaking my senses. As always, it reminds me of my grandmother. It’s one of the smells I missed out on in California. It gives me a sense of peace, something I didn’t feel at all being away from home. The only time I felt at home was last night with Chase. I felt whole. But there’s no way California could be my home. Mate or not, I don’t belong there.
Brooke motions for me to follow her down the hall. “I left all your messages on your desk. There are a ton.”
She stops at my door, and I walk past her inside. The window behind my desk takes up the whole wall, and just beyond my vineyards are mountains covered in snow. I can’t even begin to recount how many hours I’ve stood by the window just to look out at the landscape.
I walk over and peer out at my vineyards. My eyes burn, and all I want to do is cry. So much has changed; I don’t even feel like myself anymore.
Brooke’s heels clank against the floor behind me. “I have your messages here. Several are from Nolan. He’s been in here many times looking for you.”
Ah, Nolan. I almost forgot about him. He owns Rich Valley Distillery, where he makes his whiskey. Other than being a wolf, that’s how we connected. When I left for Wyoming, I told him I’d be gone for a while. But being around Chase made me forget there were others in my life. Then again, Nolan wasn’t anyone special, other than a fuck buddy of sorts. He’d hinted at wanting to be my mate, but I always told him it was wishful thinking.
Grabbing my messages, I flip through them and toss the ones from Nolan in the trash. Whatever might have gone on between us this past year is over. Brooke watches me and snickers when I continue to throw the messages away.
“I take it things are over with you two?” she asks.
I place the important messages back on my desk. “Things never really began with us. He was fun for a while, but that’s in the past.”
Brooke nods. “I know how that goes.” She gasps and hurries out of the room, only to come back with her thick, black jacket with fur around the hood. “Here you go. I know you wanted to take a walk through the vineyard.”
Taking the coat, I slip it on and pocket my cell phone. “Thanks. I’ll only be out there for a minute. And then, do you mind dropping me off at home? I’d like to get my car.”
“Of course.” She steps out of my way. “I’ll be ready when you are.”
Instead of going through the central part of the winery, I go back the way we came and hook it around the side of the building. There’s a stone path that leads down to the vineyards, and thankfully, it’s clear of any snow. Knowing my luck, I’ll slip and fall and break a leg. I can’t imagine having to wait eight weeks to heal like normal humans. With my wolf strength, if I broke a bone, it’d heal within minutes. I miss everything about my wolf. Last night with Chase, I felt her, and I didn’t want to let go.
I gave in to the pleasure.
I gave in to my mate.
I can’t do that again. Chase has to know it’ll never work. I’m his enemy, an enemy to his pack. An outsider even though I’m royal. Hell, I don’t even know what I want right now.
Taking in a deep breath, I do it slowly to relish in the smell of pine and earth. I walk down each aisle of my vines, and my footprints are the only ones left in the snow; I love the way it crunches underneath my feet. I’d enjoy it more if the cold didn’t freeze me out. What I do miss is running as my wolf in the snow. A rock forms in my stomach at the thought. Something tells me I’ll never be able to do that again.
After pulling out my phone, I search for Laila’s number, and my finger hovers above it. A sense of hope blossoms inside of me, but it disappears just as quickly. Laila’s not going to help me. Why would she? It’s best to stick with the plan I already have.
Once done strolling through the vineyard, I mosey back up to the side door of the winery. Brooke is in her office, typing away on her laptop when I stop at her entrance. Her eyes brighten, and she stands. “Did the walk help?”
“Of course,” I lie, plastering on a smile. “I think I’ll feel better as soon as I get home and take a shower.”
Brooke grabs her keys off the desk. “Let’s go.”
The parking lot is still packed when we get in her car and drive away. “Are Hannah and Will working the store?” I ask.
Brooke giggles. “Of course. They have a gift for pairing people with wines. Everyone who comes in loves them. I don’t think we’ve had anyone come into the winery and leave empty-handed.”
“That’s good to hear.”
I hate I didn’t say hello to them, but my mind isn’t with the winery right now. When I get my clusterfuck of a life in order, I will give everyone on my payroll a raise.
My house isn’t too far away from the winery, just a few curvy roads and around a mountain, hidden under a canopy of trees. My driveway is hard to see, and I like it that way. When people drive by, most don’t notice the narrow driveway. It winds up the hill until you reach my house. Seclusion is what I wanted more than anything.
Brooke pulls up to my place and shifts into park. “You know, I think I tell you this every time I come here, but I really love your house. It’s unique.”
Glancing out the window, I look up at the octagon-shaped dwelling. “Thanks. I kind of like it.” Like it is an understatement; I adore it. Besides the winery, it’s the only other place I feel comfortable in.
The siding is a dark blue with a grayish tint, and up on the second level is a spiral staircase that leads to the top. Up there, you can see above the tree line to the mountain range. Autumn is my favorite time of the year when all you see are shades of red, orange, and yellow, mixed with the remnants of fading green.
Most places around me were built cabin-style, but that’s not what I wanted. So when I stumbled upon this place during a moonlight run, I knew I had to get it. That’s why I sought out the owners and offered them twice its worth. The paperwork was drawn, and it became mine.
Opening the car door, I grit my teeth as the cold brushes across my cheeks. Brooke presses the button on her dash to open the back of her Highlander. I fetch my suitcase, and she rolls her window down as I approach.
“Thanks for dropping me off.”
I start to take off her coat, and she holds out a hand, stopping me. “You can give it to me later. I’d hate for you to freeze on your way inside,” she says, snickering.
“Thanks again. I’ll be back at the winery in a couple of hours. I have some things to take care of first.”
She waves me off. “No worries. I’ll see ya in a little bit.”
There’s no way anyone could ever back down my winding driveway, so Brooke manages a three-point turn and slowly heads off. Since I don’t have house keys, I roll my luggage to the garage and enter in the code. The door opens to reveal the only babies I have: a black Lexus LC for the mountainy roads, and a silver Toyota 4Runner to get me around on snowy days. There’s nothing better than soaring through the mountains with the windows down on a crisp fall day. If I were to do that now, I’d get frostbite and probably lose an ear. If I ever get my power back, I know never to take it for granted. Living like a human is torture. What I don’t understand is how any of them are happy. They’re fragile, and the sicknesses they’re susceptible to are terrifying. Who knows, maybe I’m open to them as well. I don’t know what the spell has done to my body. Can I get cancer? Can I get the flu? It’s something I don’t want to find out.
Walking past my cars, I head toward the door that leads into my kitchen. My luggage bounces up the brick steps as I drag it with me. The second I open the door, the smell of cinnamon engulfs me. I breathe it in deep as I stroll through the house, making sure to stop by the thermostat to turn on the heat.
My bedroom hasn’t been untouched, along with everything else. It’s all the same from when I left it, except a plant I had by the living room bay window. It’s haggard, its leaves wilted and brown. I add a little bit of water to it to hopefully bring it back to life.
After slipping off Brooke’s jacket, I pull my phone out of the pocket and sit on the couch. My gut clenches as I scroll through my contacts to the X’s. I know I shouldn’t call him, but I have to try every avenue possible.
Licking my dry lips, I press Xavier’s name and squeeze my eyes shut as it rings. If he doesn’t answer, I’ll take that as a sign I shouldn’t have called. It rings a few more times, and I start to press the end button when his voice comes over the line.
“Long time no talk, Kara,” he murmurs, his voice smooth and dark. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you at the winery.”
“Oh, here and there,” I reply. “I just saw Evangeline yesterday in California.”
Silence fills the air, and it’s as if I can feel his tension through the phone. “How is she?” he asks.
“Good, actually. Evangeline just got back from visiting her family in Tahiti. There was something I thought she could help me with, but she can’t.”
Xavier chuckles lightly, the sound making the hair on my arms stand on end. “Ah, I see. Her light magic not working for you?”
“Not exactly,” I admit cautiously. “I was hoping you might be able to help.”
“So, the indestructible royal wolf needs a witch, huh? This is a first.”
Rolling my eyes, I look down at my knuckles, my fists clenched so tight they’re pale white. Everything inside of me tells me to hang up and find another way.
“Trust me, it’s not by choice. You’ve always been up for a challenge, right?”
“That I am, my wolfy friend. Stop by my place. I’m home if you want to come now. I’ll be done doing what I’m doing in just a second.”
I hear a moan in the background, and I have a pretty good guess on what’s going down. The sound of slurping gets louder, and my stomach curls. “I’ll be there in a few,” I say, ending the call. Hopefully, by the time I get there, he’ll be done.
In the kitchen, there are pegs on one side of my cabinets. On them are several sets of keys, including the ones for my 4Runner. I snatch them up along with Brooke’s jacket before heading into the garage. Once it’s cranked and warmed up, I back out and start slowly down my long driveway.
Xavier lives about thirty minutes from me, still in the mountains but not hidden in the woods like me. Ever since he turned dark, he started loving the city life more. I met him eight years ago, not long after my winery opened. It was also the first night I met Evangeline—they came together on a wine tasting date. His magic was light, and so was Evangeline’s. I remember thinking to myself how in sync they looked together that night; they smiled and talked the entire time. I honestly could see how much they loved each other. I became friends with them instantly. Out of all the people I’ve met over the years besides shifters, they were the only ones who knew I was a wolf. I didn’t have to hide from them.
It doesn’t take long to arrive in Banner Springs. Xavier lives just outside of downtown in a trendy neighborhood where each house is worth millions. When he went dark, he used his magic to conjure up an insane amount of money. It was the beginning of his relationship demise with Evangeline.
When I pull up to Xavier’s house, there’s a small, cherry-colored convertible in the driveway with the word Juicy on the license plate. Xavier walks out onto the porch, followed by a short brunette with long, dark hair, wearing a skintight, red dress that matches her car. She sashays her way to her car, not even paying any bit of attention to me as she leaves.
Xavier grins at me, his light brown hair messy, in an I just got fucked way. Before, when he was with Evangeline, he was down to earth and loved to wear flannel shirts and jeans. Now, all I see is a douchebag in designer clothes.
“Kind of a million steps down from Evangeline, don’t you think?” I call out.
Xavier’s jaw tenses. “She’s the one who chose to leave.”
I wave him off. “I’m not here to judge. You and Evangeline grew apart. I know that.”
They grew apart because of his sordid ways with dark magic, but I don’t want to bring that up when I need his help. I walk up the pathway to his porch, and his eyes flash wide the closer I get.
“What the hell is going on with you?” His eyes dart all over my body, and I know he’s trying to figure out where the magic is coming from.
Holding up my arm, I slide the jacket down so he can get a good view of the bracelet. “I was hoping you’d be able to get it off of me.”
Xavier stares at it like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. “I can do some pretty heavy shit with my magic, but nothing’s going to get that off.” I should’ve known coming here was a waste of time. Xavier laughs and sits back on the porch railing, eyeing me curiously. “I have to say, it’s totally fucked you up. You look like shit.” He flourishes a hand up and down my body. “I can’t sense any royal arcticness in you at all.”
I didn’t come to be patronized. If I had my strength, I could slice Xavier’s head off with one swipe of my claws. But, dark or not, he’s my friend … well, used to be. I don’t like the man he’s become.
“So, you can’t help me, can you?” I ask through gritted teeth. I’m tired of getting nowhere.
Xavier shakes his head. “Not unless you want me to cut off your arm. As it stands, I’d say you’re screwed.” His eyes twinkle as he looks down at the bracelet in awe. “However, I would love to meet the witch who put it on you.”
“She’s not a witch,” I huff. “She’s half-shifter, half-fae. A royal from the Royal pack in Wyoming.”
Xavier throws his head back, and his laugh echoes down the street. “Damn, you pissed off the wrong people this time. Everyone, and I mean everyone in the witch community in the country has heard of the new Royal pack.”
“I was part of the original Royal pack, Xavier. So I know how powerful they can be.”
He snorts. “You’re not one of them anymore. I may not be a wolf, but I know how unsafe it is for unmated females to be on their own, especially now that it’s obvious you’re weak.” A gleam twinkles in his eyes, and my hackles rise. “I’d be careful if I were you, Kara.”
If I needed confirmation, I have it now. I hadn’t felt safe the second I pulled into Xavier’s driveway. Keeping my head high, I step back and smile. “Thank you for trying to help, but I think I’ll be fine. It was good to see you.”
Xavier’s expression turns devilish. “Same. I’ve always enjoyed your company.”
I want to run down his porch stairs, but I take them one at a time. I’ve never been one to be afraid, but there’s a tingling in my spine that creeps the hell out of me. “Maybe we can grab dinner one night.” My car is only a few feet away; I just need to get there.
“That would be great,” Xavier calls out. “I’ll be in touch.”
My hand lands on the door handle of my 4Runner, and I rip it open. “Perfect.” I wave and slam the door, desperate to get away as fast as I can.
I back out of his driveway, but as soon as I get onto the main road, I press the gas hard, my heart racing ninety miles an hour. The farther I get from Xavier, I expect to feel relieved, but all I feel is more vulnerable.
I press the phone button on my dashboard, and Evangeline’s number is under the top three choices. It’s not often I admit when I’m wrong, but this time, there’s no denying it. I click her number, and it rings through my speakers. When she doesn’t answer, I try her phone again, only to realize she’s most likely on the plane headed my way. Soon, she’ll be in Virginia, and I won’t be alone.
Chase’s face flashes through my mind, and my stomach clenches with guilt. I hate myself for wanting him, and I hate myself for leaving him. Now that he knows I’m his mate, he won’t let me go. One way or another, he’ll come to Virginia looking for me. I just have to figure out if I want to be found.
By the time I get to my street, my mind is all over the place. There are too many questions and not enough answers. Resting my head on my hand, I lean against the window as I creep up the long driveway to my house.
Dread settles into the pit of my gut when I realize I’m not alone. Sitting in my driveway is a dark blue Ram 1500 I recognize all too well.