Lucien
A few days later, after brooding and generally feeling furious and angry with himself, Lucien decided to visit the house unexpectedly. He had not informed his family; Tony Beston was the only one who had been told. Leaving his trusted wingmen in the lobby, he strode into the house and the welcoming aroma of freshly baked cookies wafted out from the kitchen.
Unerringly, the desire to see his wife and children led him to the large, warm kitchen where he could hear the sound of Ria chattering away. The sound of a baby's wails which were abruptly silenced alerted him to the presence of his youngest son. But when he reached the kitchen, he stopped short, his anger shooting up at the sight he saw.
A young Chinese man, presumably the incomparable Alex Wu was in the small patio leading out from the kitchen into the tiny vegetable garden that his wife had created. She had always been one to nurture, came the thought, almost automatically. The smaller man was cradling the baby and making funny sounds, a scene that had Ria and Piers doubling up in helpless laughter.
Proserpina was working on the laptop, her head bent over the keyboard totally lost in her work. Her long hair hung in a thick braid down her back. She was wearing a simple peasant skirt and a flowery blouse, her fingers flying over the keyboard. Beatrice, wearing an indulgent smile, stood watching as the new person he had hired to watch them, a middle-aged strong-faced woman named Sandy Burns, perched on the stool close by, munching on a cookie.
The family scene was complete, he thought, his fury rising.
When his wife looked up and smiled at Alex, Lucien saw red. He bellowed, ' Ria!' His daughter abruptly stopped giggling. The room fell silent, and all eyes turned to him.
Proserpina spun her head round, an involuntary expression of gladness on her face that immediately disappeared, a cold, aloof look descending instead.
Screaming in joy, Ria rushed at him, only to throw herself at him, hugging his knees and saying, 'Pappa! You're back.' Lucien scooped up the child, his arm giving a slight twinge of pain but he deliberately favoured his good arm as he held her, smiling at her indulgently.
Alex Wu approached him with a sunny smile on his face, his right hand extended. 'Hi Lucien!' he beamed. Lucien glowered at him, and ignoring the outstretched hand, he growled at Proserpina, who had come forward, her wide hips swinging enticingly in the skirt.
She had begun to shed weight, he thought, admiringly. Back to her yoga exercises! "Who's this?' he growled at her, his brows drawn fiercely, threateningly.
Little Wu seemed to wilt, his hand dropping lifelessly to his side. Nevertheless, he met Lucien's eyes bravely and said, "I ...I help...I mean,..'
Proserpina came forward, hurrying in her haste to save her friend Lucien watched her, the breath catching in his throat. She looked beautiful, her figure slimming down. The Yoga! He thought, smiling inwardly at the vision of her stretching and coiling herself bringing back the familiar tightness in his groin.
Her breasts, large and heavy, the wide hips, all of which he longed to claim.
Proserpina stormed up to Lucien, the baby in her arms, and said icily, 'Alex is my assistant and a very dear friend. He is doing research in Buddhist scriptures and the Dean helpfully loaned him to me so that I could have an efficient person by my side.'
This was said achly and accompanied by a smile so dazzling, directed at Alex, who perked up at once.
Lucien refrained from throttling young Wu with difficulty as he repeated, menacingly, To help you, eh?'
He spun on his heels, Ria in his arms as he listened to her, lovingly chattering away,
"Wait Pappa, Alex has promised to help me with my backstroke. Do you know, I go swimming these days?' she chattered excitedly, her podgy arms still locked around his neck. He inhaled the baby-sweet smell of his daughter, kissing her soft golden curls as he felt a spasm of anger race through him. So Alex was moonlighting as a swimming coach too?
Lucien turned to the unfortunate Alex who looked terribly unhappy as he sized up the big man who was glowering down at him, looking like he would pick Alex up in one hand and squeeze the breath out of him.
Proserpina stepped forward and into his line of vision. Lucien's eyes slid to her, roving over her figure, causing her to blush as she rightly read the expression in his eyes. But the look in her eyes was that of a virago on the warpath.
Her eyes were flashing as she stepped up to him, pink spots of anger on her pretty face, her plump mouth pouting prettily. "Can I have a word with you?' she hissed. He nodded curtly and lowered his daughter who glanced between them, a look of consternation on her small face. "Poppet', he murmured, and kissed her small, upturned face.
She clutched his neck tightly and whispered, "Pappa, stay with us.' The words took him by surprise. He went down on his haunches and hugged her. "Always, poppet,' he growled.
***
Proserpina
The sight of the man I loved, so hopelessly, so helplessly, made me weak at the knees.
From the way he ran his eyes over poor Alex, I knew what he was thinking. Lucien was trying to figure out if we had made it to bed. Was that ALL he could think of, I thought angrily. That made me furious. But when I watched his interaction with Ria, the gentleness with which he held her in his arms, as though she was the most precious thing in the world, I felt a lump in my throat.
That this big man, this man who had killed for me, could be so clueless when it came to expressing his emotions to me, made me want to scream! It was time we had words.
I led the way to his study, aware of his presence behind me. I knew from Schwartz and Danielle that he had cut down on his drinking, and I had noticed that he looked, fitter. Probably hitting the gym again, I mused, pursing my lips.
But the gaunt look on his face made my heart wring. He had suffered. Lucien sported a grey beard and that made him look somehow more mature, more distinguished and I felt like throwing my arms around him, holding this man I loved, close to me.
But I needed some answers before that. He stepped forward and pushed open the door and the heady male musk smell hit me, a raw hunger awakening in me. It had been too long but I was seething with rage. There was no way I would fall into his arms as I used to, I told myself. He held the door open and I sailed in, my head held high.
Once inside I spun around, glaring at him. "How could..." But Lucien silenced me the way he always did.
Pushing me against the door, he pulled me into his arms and brought his mouth down on mine, forcefully, a kiss that stamped his authority on me, his ownership. I tried to fight him, my fists bunched against his chest, resisting. But my body refused to obey me and I felt my arms going around his neck, pulling him closer as he thrust his tongue into my mouth, urgently.
I had missed him so badly, this man of mine. His hands roved over my body as he groaned against my mouth, his hard erection pushing into me. He fondled my breasts, gently and murmured, half laughing, "You smell of milk, little Woman."
Sanity returned to me with a crash. I pushed him away, breathing heavily and he raised his head in surprise, freezing, his hands on my hips.
"What is it?" he growled, confused.
"No, Lucien," I said, pushing him away. "No."
Breathing heavily, I stepped away and went on, wringing my hands in distress. "We cannot go on like this."
He stared at me, his face like thunder but I was firm as I went on, "Either you suspect me of jumping into the nearest bed with any random man or you treat me like..."
I turned, trembling, looking at him, appealing to him. "I need time. I need some time out. To think."
And then, before he could respond in his forceful way and turn me around, I went on, almost pleading, "Lucien, I want to know if I want to come back to you."
The room seemed to freeze as the words spilt out of my mouth.
I saw his shoulders stiffen, the muscles bunching beneath the jacket. Then he clenched his meaty hands and stared at me, his eyes pale and narrow.
But I continued bravely, softly, "Or if I want to begin a new life."
I bit my lip, staring outside, not daring to look at him, for he was silent.
An ominous silence that seemed to swirl around me. "I want to know..." I whispered, half to myself. He stepped back, his hands dropping to his sides, an expression of deep sadness crossing his face to be replaced by one of glacial remoteness.
"What do you mean?" he asked, stiffly, his grey eyes that had been heated with passion, narrowing in disbelief. " I mean, this..."
Unable to look at his face and see the anguish there, I turned away. I waved my hands, running my palms down my skirt, avoiding his eyes. The deep dejection I saw in them made me want to question my decision but I ploughed on.
"This... this relationship we have, it's toxic. All we do is get into bed and..."
I took a deep breath and went on,
"Or you suspect me... I cannot take it anymore, Lucien. I don't know if I want to..."
He was silent for so long that I turned to look at him. He stood staring at me, a woebegone expression on his face.
The utter defeat I saw made me want to rethink my decision but I knew I wanted to be strong. I needed to know for certain whether we loved each other, whether he loved me as deeply as I did. "I am in my twenties and all I have done is raise children, though I love them so," I whispered " I want to live, to explore the world... To work."
Stepping closer to him, I said softly, pleading, "Please, Lucien." He turned away. "The children...?" he asked, his voice gruff, his back to me. " They come with me," I said firmly.
His shoulders seemed to sag as he replied, his voice hoarse with an emotion I could not put my finger on,
"I understand." Startled, I stared at the back of this man I loved, unable to believe that I had heard right. Had Lucien Delano actually said that I could leave him???
His shoulders straightened and in a hollow voice, he went on, without looking at me, "I will not stop you little one." And then, with a deep sigh, he added, "Take all the time you wish..."
And as he moved away, I thought he said softly, "My love."
Or perhaps it was my imagination?