Jessamine
Words fail me, but my hands do not. With a sudden rush of strength and rage, enflamed by the lack of remorse for ruining my parents lives and Kier's, the pride shinning in her eyes. The heel of my palm slams into her throat, and I push all of my strength into making her fall.
But it makes no difference, because her men have me again, holding me back from her as she clutches her neck, gasping and coughing.
She staggers back, her face flush with fear, and I snarl, thrashing against her men, "Come a little closer, Renae, if you fucking dare!"
Renae laughs, but her voice wavers. "You should have remained in the kitchens with the rest of the maids. Killing mother and daughter feels heavy, even for me, but I shall seek the Goddess's forgiveness later." Her gaze lifts to the space above my head. "Make it swift, nothing messy. Do it in the grove and do not forget the letters." To me, she adds with a smile that's pure acid, "You won't be alone for long, not to worry."
Fingers press into my skin and I scream, promising death upon her as the male yanks me off the floor harshly, forcing me down the slope of the grove. I let them take me, garnering my strength. The bane has begun wearing off, and I feel my strength returning, but it's not enough to summon claws or canines.
"Is she gone?" The make I'd stabbed in the thigh asks the other in a gruff, impatient voice, his grip loosening on me once we reach the little orchard filled with winter jasmines and pansies and I hit the ground like a log. Such a beautiful place to die.
"Yes. Tired of her fucking ordering us around." Empty grey eyes land on me. "Forget swift. We'll fuck you and then cut your insides open, bitch. Messy is what your body will be when they find you."
My body threatens to lock on itself, but I don't let it. My heart pounds against my chest, threatening to burst it open, and I know I have but a few strikes before I wear out whatever strength I've gathered. I need to make them count and get the hell out of here.
Straightening slowly, I shrug off my coat, and goosebumps attack my flesh. "Before or after you bore me to death with your words?"
The male's eyes flash and he leaps for me in the same moment his partner yells, "Don't, Kev! She's goading you!"
His weight slams into me, knocking the air from my lungs and the world tilts for a moment as his fist rams into my my belly. Blood pools in my mouth, and pain jolts me, becoming a beacon in my head that screams, fight or die. I reach for the closing wound on his neck and stab my fingers into it.
Kev's fingers close around my fist with a growl that deafens me and he snaps it. I swallow a scream, panic swelling in my throat, choking me. I feel the larger male close in on me from behind, and a primal ember sparks to life. I'm not dying in here, not like this.
I pull up my foot and slam it home between his thighs. He lets out a pained cry, letting go of me, and I whirl at the last possible second, startling the male who's begun to reach for me. My good hand flies to his belt, pulling out his dagger, and had he been an Alpha or a Beta, he might have been fast enough to stop me from plunging it into the gaping wound on his friend's neck.
Blood sprays everywhere and my fingers tremble as the man's eyes latch on me, wide with terror. It's not the first time I've seen someone die, but it's the first time I have...killed someone.
I'd previously imagined all it took was stabbing a knife in one's gut, or tearing out a person's heart. I thought all I needed to kill were weapons, my teeth and claws. I thought that when it came to a point when I had to fight to save my life, it wouldn't matter. I thought I had the stomach for it, the strength for it, after all, all Alpha blooded wolves are cold blooded killers when the situation requires it.
But I stare at the blood oozing from the mortal wound, and I hate the way it clings to my hands. I want it off. My body begins to shake uncontrollably. I take out the dagger to get away from him, but all it does is bring more blood. It...it stinks. The tang gathers in my throat and...and... he's dying. I realize that it's easier to fight to survive, incapacitate, or provide distraction to flee. But the man drops, gurgling, and...and...he reaches a hand forward as if asking for help, but he seems unable to speak past the blood.
My breaths are harsh gasps, and the winter cold makes my blood colder. I wipe my hands on my dress frantically, because... because I don't...I don't--
I am suddenly hurled across the groove, a howl of fury echoing into the night. I hit the ground, but I barely feel the pain. My senses buzz in and out, narrowing to the smells and sounds, and zoning out as well.
"Jessa, let me handle it," Nyx says, her words barely a whisper in the growing chaos filling my mind.
I let her, because I'm unsure I can get past what I've just done.
At first, I feel nothing, but when the male abandons his dead companion and charges for me, snapping his teeth, I'm suddenly on my feet, dodging a blow aimed at my chest. I shuffle back to fast and trip on my gown. I barely have time to roll away before his foot digs into ground where my head had been seconds ago.
My body moves of its own volition and I feel like a stranger in it as I meet him blow for blow, each just as vicious as his temper. I have no recollection of the next few minutes. I am covered in cuts by the time all of my senses are mine again, and there's blood in my mouth and skin underneath my claws.
"Jessa, breathe," Nyx tries to tell me, but I cannot. There are two dead men and I'm covered in blood and I don't know what to do with them. Do with myself.
A sound breaks the silence--a clap and pleased laugh. My gaze flies towards the sound and something in my gut churns at the sight of Renae kicking at Kev's lifeless body. "It would seem I was wrong about you, Jessamine."
"Let's kill the bitch," Nyx snarls.
"No more tonight," I tell her tiredly. "We kill her and Kier will never forgive me. She has burrowed in too deep in his mind, his life, and I don't think I can break that. I don't want his mother's blood on my hands."
"Kier can get over himself. She just tried to kill you!"
"I'd be no better if I decided to kill her too."
Nyx goes quiet and I thank the Goddess for that, because I need to think. "Atticus wants you dead," I say, stumbling to my feet. One of my heels is broken, and my dress hangs limply on my body, the ropes behind cut in too many places to hold.
Renae nods, taking a step forward. "I know that he's been communicating with you. Nothing gets past me, girl." She clucks her tongue in displeasure and pulls out a dagger I didn't see before from her cloak. "I didn't want to do this myself, but you cannot return."
"I don't want to fight you, Renae," I say and mean it. "I loathe you, but your life isn't mine to take. My father will decide your punishment once this is over, and for Kier, I can plead on your behalf, to lessen it, but you must sheath your weapon and stand aside."
One moment, she's standing a couple of feet away, the wind sorting through her flaming hair, her black ensemble merging with the night, eyes cold and empty narrowing at me. And the next, she's in front of me, dagger poised for my neck.
It's too sudden to react and in those seconds, I feel it thick in the air--death. My heartbeat is wild and my blood is pumps faster than normal, dizzying me. I see her eyes, a triumphant gleam in them, and I can't help but think that I should've kissed Kier last night, one more time. And read Darrock's letters. And told my father the truth.
But, before the blade can touch my skin, my body lurches, not of my own volition, and a sharp cry of rage, Nyx's, cuts through the space as my fingers plunge into Renae's chest and close around her beating heart.
The dagger clatters to the ground, her brows furrowing in confusion as her gaze lowers to her chest.
"Nyx," I rasp, panicking. "Nyx, don't!"
Renae stumbles into me, her hands clasping my shoulders and when she coughs, blood splatters. She's so close, her breath tickles my ear, and she whispers, "I still win."
She buries her teeth in my neck.
I rip her heart out.