chapter 11. UPCLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH THE WHITE WOLF.

Ismena led Wolfaraine out of the tower, towards the gates, her heart beating loudly in her chest that she could hear it like a beating drum in her ears. Her heart was in her throat, her hands cold and clammy.

When they got to the gate, Wolfaraine turned towards her, his eyes regarding her carefully, "I can smell your fear, Ismena. While the predator in me is enjoying that scent, I am concerned. Is anything the matter?"

Yes, I'm scared because I'm on a suicide mission! Once you leave, I will walk myself to the lion's den, hoping not to be devoured even though, there is a ninety-nine percent chance that I will be! Please, don't go! Your stay will save me from my crazy self, please don't go!

Of course, she didn't say any of those things, instead, she plastered a smile on her face. "I'm just worried about you, that's all. You're chasing a psychopath who thinks its okay to kill his own kind whenever and however he wants. It worries me that you are in harm's way."

A smile ghosted his face like she has said something very funny. "I will be fine, Ena, you needn't worry. I just need to find this person and I will put an end to him-or-her. Whoever it is, do not have what it takes to really harm me well."

"You said you found something on him, right?"

He nodded, "It's something small but it IS something. I already have one of my alphas looking in on it. We just need to hold the funeral rites for his last victim in its clan. I will go back to the crime scene when the rites are completed, just to do another double-check in case there was an unturned stone. I will be back in the morning."

"Okay, okay, I understand. Please, be careful." She whispered, unable to keep it in.

"You be careful too. No one knows who this killer is and until he-or-she is found, everyone in Naturiah needs to be careful." His hand rested on her cheek, caressing softly as he commanded, "Scream out my name if you are ever in trouble, do you hear me?"

Although his voice was soft, it was very compelling. Ismena found herself nodding her head, her eyes holding his, "I will."

"Scream out my name and I will come running, even from a thousand miles. As far as you're in Naturiah, I will hear you. And I will come to you." He stated firmly.

A shiver ran down her spine at the statement of fact and her heart melted. She nodded again.

"Stay away from danger too. Try to go to sleep after I leave." Then he kissed her forehead before he turned and walked out of the gates, with his sentinels trailing behind him.

Stay away from danger indeed, Ismena thought, fear clouding her throat. If only her heart will listen.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on?" Eline asked for the umpteenth time, her face filled with concern as she watched Sandra come out of the bathroom after washing her face for the fifth time.

"Nothing is going on," Sandra grumbled, moving past her to the kitchen.

Eline followed closely behind her, "Tell that to your face, human, because it looks red and swollen from crying."

"Everyone is allowed to cry once in a while, Eline. There is nothing wrong with a good cry."

The cougar woman taught about that for a moment. "I guess you are right. But that's not your own case my dear, because I can count how many times I heard you curse at my Alpha in that bedroom while crying."

"You heard that, did you?" Sandra took a deep breath, "I was tempted to curse at you and my dear devil best friend, Ismena, but I refrained."

"Really? What did we do?" Eline asked, her eyes widened.

"Just forget about it, Eline. I am trying to forget about it too. It's alright."

"It's not alright if you're angry at my Alpha. What did he do?"

"I was angry at him. Now, I guess I'm trying to make peace with it," she stated, washing the carrot thoroughly before she began cutting them into small pieces, "I understand that I am not femme fatale or anything, but I would think that he would have respected me enough to tell me about it-"

"Tell you about what?" Eline cut in, trying to understand her dilemma.

"That I'm his mate! That I'm his mate, Eline!" She shouted, turning to face Eline whose eyes were wide like saucers. "No one thought I deserved to know that I was your Alpha's mate even if I was his rejected mate, I still have a right to know this."

"His rejected mate!?" Eline shrieked, alarmed.

Sandra took a deep breath to calm herself. When she spoke again, her voice sounded calmer than before, "I wondered why there's this crazy chemistry between us, why he wants to spend time with me a few times and then avoid me the rest of the time? It all finally made sense; the reason why Mena asked me to follow her to Naturiah right after I met him. Also, the reason why Mena was insistent I stay in Naturiah when she was going back to our world."

Shaking her head, she turned, picked up her knife, and resumed chopping carrots this time, harder than before. "Even if he doesn't want me as his mate, I still had a right to decide for myself too, if I wanna stay here with a man that doesn't want me for a life partner or I should go back to my world."

"Doesn't want you enough to make you his... oh my God, Sandra, please that's not what all this is about. It's not what you think at all!"

"Kassandra," The deep, familiar voice came from the doorway of the kitchen.

Sandra and Eline stopped talking at the sound of Alphose's voice. It doesn't matter though, because he heard everything. It's all over his face, Sandra thought as she looked at him.

Her belly flustered at the exquisite sight of him, which in turn made her want to burst out crying again. It's just her horrible luck, being incredibly attracted to a man that doesn't want her.

"Please, go away, Alphose. I don't want to talk to you." She said snidely, thankful that her voice didn't betray the tremors inside her.

"I'll just...erm... I'll run some errands I didn't get to run in the morning." Eline rambled out the excuse, already making her way out of the kitchen.

Sandra whirled around, "Eline, don't you dare leave me alone with-" she snapped her mouth shut because it was of no use Eline already left the house if the sound of the front door opening and closing was any indication.

So, she turned back to the vegetables that needed her attention. It's best if she ignores him. Who knows? He might do her a favor and leave her alone.

A pin drop could be heard in the heavy silence that followed.

Then Alphose's voice filled the air, "All my life, I have always wanted a mate. I want to find the woman that was destined for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her...I want to share my life with her and I wanted to share hers too."

"The first few thoughts I had about you when I first met you was that you were easily the most attractive woman I have ever seen. So beautiful that I was entranced," A pause, "And then, for the first time in my life, the cougar took interest in a woman. That would mean that you are my lifemate. I was the happiest male in the entire world at that moment, the luckiest."

Sandra turned and looked at him, tears in her eyes, but the shock was written all over her face.

A sadness crossed his features then, "But then I walked closer to you and realized that something was missing. You didn't have the scent of a potential mate, talk more of the scent of an Alpha's potential mate. I was...pained." he averted his eyes, "I still am. I was very hopeful that maybe the scent is there but...masked. Buried. I thought that if you spend time in Naturiah and with me, it will surface. I was hoping on it..."

"And now? What about now?" Sandra whispered, unable to keep the hope in her voice. She fell for him the very first day she'd met him and she wanted nothing more than to be his mate.

He shook his head, sadness radiating from him. "Nothing has changed, Kassandra."

Her heart broke. "But, it's been more than a month...!"

"It has been. I didn't hide it from you because I don't desire you, I just didn't tell you because of this...uncertainty. There's every possibility that you are not my mate and even though that knowledge hurts, I still have to honor it if the time comes and it turns out that you are not mine but Josiah's."

"Josiah? You mean your twin brother!?" Sandra's eyes widened to unbearable degrees. Alphose had told her he had a twin, but he hadn't given her any other details about his twin, even when she pressed. She'd realized that it was a touchy subject and decided to let it go, knowing that he would tell her whenever it was okay for him.

Alphose nodded once, "It would explain why the cougar reacts to you and why you don't have my scent, even after all the time I've spent with you. I...care about you, Kassandra, that is why I keep my distance from you, even if I want to spend every day in your presence. It just...hurts. The knowledge that you might not be mine."

A sob escaped her throat before she covered the distance between them and hugged him to her chest. His arms went around her, holding her as tightly as she held him.

"I want to be yours too, Alphose." she admitted, "I want it so much, that was why it hurt when I thought you rejected me. Now, I know everything, I feel so much better...even if I still hurt but in a different way. I want it to be you."

"I want it to be me too, Kassandra." He groaned, kissing her throat softly. "I want it to be me too."

An hour after Wolfaraine left, Ismena crept through the hallway that led to Nalaila's bedroom, her fingers tightly clutching the keys she'd stolen from the female servant's drawer. Her heart was pounding, her eyes wide like saucers glancing everywhere to be sure that no one was within sight.

When she got to the front door, she carefully handpicked the keys she'd seen Alphose use and got to work. A few minutes later, she was inside the barren dungeon-room staring at the white wolf who was asleep.

But, as if the wolf realized it was no longer alone, it stirred awake.

Ismena froze. There was still a healthy distance between her and the wolf, but it didn't stop her heart from going into overdrive as she watched the wolf raise its big, furry body from the ground and shook it several times as if it wanted to completely wake itself from slumber. Then its yellow eyes stared straight at her.

Stop being so scared, they can smell fear, Ismena! She loved you the last time, there is no cause for you to be so terrified now.

Ismena almost snorted at the voice trying to encourage her. Yeah, right. She's standing in front of a woman who has been in her animal form for more than eighteen years, who is extremely angry at her kind for damaging her, ruining her life, and making her walk the fine lines of insanity. There's no need to be so scared, my white ass.

Not to mention that the wolf was looking at her with anger?

She cleared her throat, "Uhmm... Hi? We meet a-again."

The wolf growled lowly and bared its teeth at her. Instinctively, Ismena took a step back. "I know you're mad at me, I'm very sorry for whatever reason that may be."

When the wolf only looked at her. She forced herself to continue, "I'm really sorry for invading your space like this, I know I don't have the right to do that. But, y-y-your brother just left to deal with the matters of the council and t-to catch a really bad man...so, I know this is my only opportunity to do this, and t-t-that's why I'm here."

Ismena for chrissake, stop rushing your words and stumbling on them! Get hold of your nerves!

With the mental scolding she'd given herself, she took a deep breath and continued, "I'm very sorry for d-deserting you like that, it wasn't my intention, but something happened a-and I had to leave the tower. It was a heartbreaking event and... I-I lost m-my dad." her voice cracked, "It hasn't been easy at all."

Taking another deep breath to calm herself, her eyes found the eyes of the wolf beautiful amber, just like her brother's.

"I want to take you outside," she blurted out, "Would you like to go with me?"

The wolf just studied her like she was a specimen. It was no longer growling or baring its teeth, so Ismena took it as a plus.

Gathering all the courage she never thought she had, she took a step closer. And then another. And another. Until she was walking towards the heavy barricades that separated the wolf from the rest of the world.

"Your brother will be so mad at me if he realized that I was doing this. He doesn't know I'm here. I just couldn't stay away any longer...knowing the only option he'll choose. Please, go out with me, Nalaila." Ismena looked behind the wolf to the closed window, "Let me show you how beautiful this world...your world...has become since the last time you saw it. Let's roam the forest and see how gorgeous the lake is at night. Will you go with me...?"

Bravely Ismena put out her hand, slipped it through the metal bars, and stretched it as an offering towards the Wolf. "Will you go with me...?"

The wolf's eyes finally left her face and descended to the small arms that were in front of its face. It looked at it for very long seconds that slowly-very slowly-bled into minutes.

That's it, Ismena. This is how you are gonna lose a left hand and you will have no one but yourself to blame for that-

The wolf took a step forward, covering the distance that separated it from her hand, it slowly lowered its big head to her hand and rubbed against it.

Tears sprang to Ismena's eyes at the very sight of it. The heaviness in her heart all evening bled out and a lightness came over her.

"Oh, my God..." she whispered, reverently.

This wolf right here, trusts her. This broken but strong woman here is placing her trust in her.

"Thank you so much, Nalaila. I will take very good care of you, I promise." Using her free hand, she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank you."

For a full minute, Ismena did nothing but caress the wolf's head and neck with her hand, while the wolf allowed her to. Her heart was filled with joy that cannot be explained.

Finally, she withdrew her hand, "I have to unlock these bars now, so you can come out..." she proceeded to do that even as she kept talking to the wolf.

But as she unlocked the last key, her bravery disappeared like a mist.

The fear came back to her throat as the last of the barrier between her and the wolf was removed. She stepped back to make room for the wolf to come out.

For the first time in two years, the wolf came out of her cage. It kept walking forward until it stood nose to nose with Ismena.

She held her breath, looking the wolf in the eyes, hoping to convey her sincerity while noting that it wouldn't take much for the wolf to kill her now if it wanted to.

But then, the wolf pressed its nose to her shoulder and nudged her.

She's urging you out of the room, you idiot! Her brain shouted, drawing her out of her fear-induced shock.

"Oh!" Ismena gasped, moving her body to the direction the wolf nudged her to which was the door of the dungeon-room.

Ismena didn't bother closing up, instead, she walked out of the room with the wolf gliding beside her.