AN UNBELIEVABLE MIRACLE
"There is no harm in trying, ma'am. I am not saying that you are, but just so to be ."
Can someone please give me a very reasonable reason why I shouldn't fire this nosy ! Men, how annoying can people be, really? First, she made me muffle my lungs with that ridiculous hoax she pulled back there. Freaking, right? After chasing her to go get me a glass of water to ease my restlessness, she came back with this thing she calls a pregnancy kit or whatever, insisting that I should test for .
I mean, who is she to insist on that? Who made her my doctor? Does she know the of what she is insinuating? No, of course not, because she won't be here ranting, so forget that for now, but how can I be pregnant? For God's , what sort of a joke is that?
I admit that we haven't used protection all those times we have had sex with Jerol but, has a problem, right? Good grief! I am thankful that he is not even here to listen to stupid joke of this bitch. I mean, can you imagine what he would feel? His ?
"For the millionth time, Terry, I say there is no need. I can't be pregnant." I fume, , every single ounce in me wants to laugh at this joke, but then there is so strong holding me back from doing so. Something worryingly strong perplexing.
That slight, "what if". But, come on, right? That ought to be the worst joke of the . This can't happen now, especially not to me. If he hasn't been fruitful enough sire anyone before through sex, then how can it start with me? It can't. Plus, just a sign doesn't mean anything.
Single sign?
Aha! Well, how many are they? Damn! I can't... No! This is simply not meant to . It can't. Simple. Period!
"But, why are you so sure that you aren't pregnant ma'am when the signs are there?"
Terry speaks again. She is bent on irritating my nerves.
Why can't she freaking mind her own business, huh? What's her business with me for 's sake!
And yeah, I want to believe that I am so certain that I can't be pregnant, but what do I give her? That my husband has a low sperm count? Hell, she is not even to be asking me questions to begin with right? I am here freaking boss!
"You know what, Terry, you maybe forget that I am your boss. If I say there is like pregnancy here you should leave the fuck at that!" I state, sounding like a bossy bitch.
I know I have never spoken to her this way before, but she is making me do it. She is my arse and my ears itch, everything, actually is itching! Real bad! I can't this anxiety and fear. I can't handle the notion of her joke turning into reality.
That will be so damn messy!
"I...am so sorry ma'am! Sorry!" She says, apologetically.
"Good. You can leave now!" I say.
She bows slightly, turning on her heels.
"Leave that here!" The words just rolled out, and I can't even tell why. "And one more , this shouldn't get out of this door, are we clear?" I add.
"Clear ma'am! Not even a word about this. You can count on me. I am so sorry once ." She apologizes, hiking out.
She swerves around, handing me the kit that she has been hugging in her hands for the long minutes. I grab it with a certain bitchy attitude that I can't control.
After she leaves, I lazily stroll into the washroom, the desire to prove that bitch wrong all over me. I can't wait to slap the shitty kit to her face when it turns out .
I try and follow the instructions she had given. I hope I did it right though, because I doubt I was paying any attention to her when she was ranting. All the same, I I did it right.
Falling in love was not part of the agreement, yet we did. Yes, we, because I believe is a good reason as to why he sleeps with me. The way he cares is the way he . Why he doesn't want us to talk about that agreement. We broke the first rule.
Sex wasn't supposed to be anywhere in close in our five months together. But here we , having it like it's a basic need. Another rule down.
There were not supposed to be any feelings attached to this contract marriage. But we swimming in a quagmire of feelings. Deep feelings. This can't be yet another topping the list. This will be completely messed up. We can't drown in this.
God, we can't. We can't.
What would even Jerol think of me, huh? How would he take the news?
Minutes flew fast, and I find myself standing in front of the kit after a very short according to my anxious self.
I mumble a short prayer, hoping that the heavens have their doors and windows wide to heed to my plea.
Two lines-positive.
One line - negative. That's what I want to see. One line. It must be that. I believe in but not this time around. It shouldn't happen right now. Not this way.
With shaky hands, I reach fo the kit, flipping it.
Two dreadful red lines!
Mistake! Big mistake!
No!
I choke on nothing! Purely nothing! My stomach forms countless knots. Everything in belly turned into ice. Even my throat is turning icy. The air that I am breathing too icy for my nostrils too. Everything stands still, witnessing this wrong!
I try to focus on these two possibly impossible lines I am seeing, hoping for a miracle change whatever I am seeing. Seconds pass, turning into dreadful minutes of a of fear and dread and uncertainty and everything negative.
The lines appear more clearly than before, as if mocking me. There is no miracle , or maybe I am in reality staring at one right now! But a bad one! I take in deep amount of air, and release it in a go.
I am pregnant! I am pregnant for Jerol!
No!
How come? Why? How?
Why God?
Isn't it enough that our situation is as complicated as it is? Why did this have to ? How are we going to handle this? How will I even tell him? No, how can I tell him? How?