Rose lay in bed, staring into the semi-darkness, watching the shadows and moonlight flicker across the ceiling. Lost in euphoria with a warm muscular arm draped across her naked abdomen under the thin cotton sheets. His steady, slow breathing indicated he was asleep and made her body tingle all over again with the realisation that this was not a dream. She glanced down at his strong, tanned back, his softly carved shoulders and long straight spine, the sheets cutting off her view at waist level and smiled. He was face down, his chiselled face partially hidden by her padded cushions, his thick black eyebrow smooth and flat with no sign of any expression, just peaceful slumber. He was the most beautiful sight to behold, and Rose was glowing from every cell of her body, inside and out.
She had slept a little after he had made love to her for hours. From fiery passion and raw longing to gentle affection, they had stayed in that room as shadows grew long and moonlight had overtaken. Lost in the passion they felt and the undying urge to satisfy it.
As a lover, Rob Munro certainly did not disappoint, he had a confidence that hinted at someone who was no stranger to sex, and he had skills between the sheets. Not that she minded his obvious experience, Rose had enjoyed the benefits with multiple rewards.
He stirred, almost as if sensing her eyes on him and rolled towards her, pulling her close.
‘Hungry?’ He asked huskily and smiled when she nodded. She was far too sated to move, but if he offered food, she would attempt to get up.
‘I don’t cook much, so if you’re looking for me to do it, I’m staying here.’ Rose giggled and revelled in the deep soft laugh that came from him.
‘Lucky for you then that I know my way around a kitchen. Besides... Seems only fair I cook for you after what you have given me for the last few hours.’ He leaned in, kissing her just below the jaw where her neck met, and a fresh wave of tingles erupted over her skin. She wasn’t so sure he was accurate. He had been the one making the moves.
‘A man who cooks... I may get used to that.’ Rose giggled, focused on how his fingertips had trailed across her abdomen and sent a thousand tiny fireworks through her stomach.
‘Come on, keep me company while I make us food.’ He pulled her up with him, kissing her softly, and let his eyes lazily trail down her naked body before handing her a rob from behind her door. He pulled on his jeans and then hooked her hand to pull her to the kitchen.
He cooked her bacon and eggs while laughing and teasing one another, and Rose ended up helping, despite her statement that she wouldn’t cook. It was a little after midnight, and with coffee in hand, they wrapped up in thick blankets and sat on the back step under the moonlight. Rob held her close under the furriness of the huge throw draped around them, naked skin on naked skin as they star gazed and sat in companionable silence for a moment.
‘What made you move here?’ he asked casually, nestling her against him between his legs, laying the mugs on the concrete steps beside them before sliding his arms back around her and resting his cheek against hers. She had her back to him and was watching the comets shooting by in the cloudless night sky.
‘Honestly.’ Rose sighed. ‘I wasn’t happy with my life; I just didn’t feel I belonged there, and memories of being here with Olivia made me hope I could be happy like that again.’ She rested her head against his neck, loving the feel of him wrapped around her and breathing in his unique scent. Every part of her was almost singing with sheer joy.
‘You will be that happy again, Rose. Here with me. I guarantee it.’ He grinned as Rose elbowed him lightly, the humour in his voice making her smile, his arrogance in that statement.
‘Well, you’re confident. I’ll give you that!’ She giggled and closed her eyes as his mouth found her neck, kissing slowly to her ear and setting her skin ablaze again.
‘You were really close? To Olivia, I mean.’ Rob continued, bringing her attention back to reality and not lost in some lusty euphoria where she had been heading. ‘I remember her; I liked her a lot when I was a kid. I don’t think I ever came here, though. She would like what you have done with it. It’s a nice little home. Very you, with your pink and girly ways.’ His voice was sexy and deep with tiredness. Rose smiled and sighed down that tug of heartache that always raised when she talked of her aunt.
‘She was like a second mum to me.’ Rose's voice trembled a little as emotion caught in her throat. It was still hard thinking about her. The pain of missing her was still so raw, but talking with Rob didn’t feel as bad as when her mother brought her up. ‘She was the one who taught me to paint, made me appreciate art and colour, and I guess being the only niece, she just liked the company of a little girl. What with having no kids of her own. She would be happy that I put my stamp on the cottage too, you’re right.’ Rob kissed her on top of the head and gave her a little squeeze feeling her sadness, able to sympathise with his loss.
‘I wonder if we ever met ... As kids, while you were here.’ He queried, nudging her gently and pointing up to show her a blaze of sparkling meteor high in the velvet sky. They watched it for a second before it burned out, a beautiful sight to behold.
‘Maybe. I always went with her to the dances and fetes, the charity sales and church coffee mornings when I was here. I’m sure I would have remembered you, though.’ Rose giggled, trying to picture him as a kid and guessing he would have been memorable with that black hair and those grey eyes.
‘I would have definitely remembered you.’ He smiled. ‘I can imagine little Rose with her big brown eyes and pouty face. Pretty sure I would have tried to ask you out or felt you up, at least.’ He kissed her neck with a smile, squeezing her when she giggled. ‘Was she happy when she left here? I heard she met some rich English guy and trotted off south.’ Rose squirmed as he breathed down onto her naked skin, the feeling of his warmth igniting so many sensations within her so easily. She wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose, but it had an effect either way.
‘Yes. She had everything she wanted; love, a beautiful home, her dogs, her cats and gorgeous countryside. Despite never having children, I think she was pretty content.’ She could imagine Olivia's happiness with her husband by being with him like this. It made a world of difference being in the arms of a man who truly awakened you inside, the way Rob did with her.
‘I’m glad she found what she had been looking for. I guess that’s what we all want in this life... Tell me a little about you, Rose; I mean London, that’s a big move for a girl on her own when you were young and starting your career. Do you miss it at all? Don’t your family want you closer to home?’ He nuzzled her close, pulling her in so he could wrap his arms and legs around her snuggly. Getting as much bodily contact as possible.
‘I guess I wanted big city lights and excitement, but when I got there, I felt alone. I hated the city. I hated the fast-paced life and shallow people...... I was always independent. Having my parents around all the time was never something I thought about, but somehow London made me so homesick and miserable. Sure, I miss them, but I can always visit them, or they can come here and coming back here made me feel better. They want me to be happy, wherever that is.’ She was relaxed and content, exactly where she was this very second and could not imagine ever wanting anything else than this, right now, here with him.
‘You think you will be happy here? Forever?’ His voice had softened. He was trying to gauge what her long-term plans were, she guessed. She wondered if his questioning was to understand if they had a real future.
‘I think so. I hope so, anyway. Since I came here, I have finally found where I belong and have no intention of leaving.’ She raised her chin to look up at him from her angle, and they smiled.
‘I agree, you definitely belong here... Right here.’ He grinned, sliding his hands under her butt, so she was lifted onto his lap in one swift move and immediately devoured by his mouth. Rose cried out in surprise and burst into giggles before she was mauled by the amorous man pulling her into him.
When they returned to bed, fed and watered, he pulled her into him, tracing her curves with kisses, and soon led her back into another long slow session of making love until her body had writhed and arched, giving into the crashing waves. Rose was no virgin; she had dated men in her past, but no man had ever connected with her body in so many ways, bringing her to many levels of pleasure so effortlessly.
Maybe this was the difference between sex and love. It catapulted all of it to a much higher level of pleasure and satisfaction. She was in no doubt after tonight that she loved him. Even though it had happened fast, she had no doubts. She had never felt this way before. Her whole being was screaming it out, and she could no longer deny it. Lying by his side and listening to him breathe made her feel safe and secure. Content. As though lying by his side was what she had been waiting for all these years, a homecoming. She did not want to ever lie beside anyone else. She felt she could get lost in these moments and never wake up.
Eventually, they both drifted off to sleep, exhausted and satisfied, bodies unable to stay awake and more than happy to curl up together and finally be still.
***
A sharp shrill ringing broke into her happy dreams to break the spell. Coming from the side of the bed he was sleeping on from the discarded jeans. She knew it wasn’t her ringtone. He lifted his pillow from under his head without opening his eyes and laid it back down to drown it out, groaning and mumbling something incoherent. Rose smiled and let out a small giggle. It was such a boyish motion and made her love him all the more.
‘What if it’s Abby?’ She whispered under the edge of the cushion. He didn’t respond, only tightened his arm over her abdomen, pulling her close against him and draped his leg over her legs under the sheets.
‘Rob!!’ She laughed louder ‘What if it is and she actually needs you?’ Rose didn’t exactly want that to be true, but she also knew it wasn’t a normal hour for someone to be calling. It was still majorly early, so it had to be serious.
The pillow lifted as he raised his head, giving her a pained expression. Sleepy and stubbly. Complete sex appeal. His brows knit together in a frown, and his eyes, pale grey, looked exhausted.
‘I swear she better have broken bones, and there better be a lot of blood!’. His voice was husky as he released Rose, moving across the bed on his stomach and leaning his long arm down to scoop his mobile from the jeans on the floor. Pausing to read the screen, he immediately put it to his ear and greeted Abby by name.
The briefest conversation ensued. He sounded more irritated than concerned. He told her his whereabouts were his business and to stay put. Yes, he would be there soon, in a few minutes. He cursed under his breath as he hung up. Throwing his phone back down on top of his pile of clothes strewn carelessly across the floor. Rose felt her heart sink.
This is what he had warned her about. Breaking the spell - life beckoned, and he had to leave. He moved back towards her, gently kissing her face, his hand tracing her shoulder and naked arm regretfully. He groaned as he moved away again, leaving Rose with that aching hollow feeling rising inside her as he slid out of bed and hurriedly dressed. Even the sight of his naked, taught body did not alleviate the mounting anxiety forming inside her. He began pulling his clothes on fast.
‘Everything okay?’ She didn’t want to sound like a clingy whiny woman so early in whatever this was.
‘I need to go home, Rose. Morag has shown up at the house drunk because I have been unreachable all afternoon and throwing another bitch fit. It’s...’ he paused to check his watch. ‘After two, so she’s freaking out about where I am. Whose bed I’m...’ He sighed, stopping and turning to look at her apologetically, eyes full of remorse. ‘I can’t leave Abby to deal with her like that. She won’t calm down or leave. I’m sorry.’ He looked boyishly young like this, and it just tugged at her even more. He slid across the bed, fully dressed and gently kissed her on the mouth, softly, yet so much longing building between them again, even in the briefest touch. He frowned as he pulled away, holding her a moment to stare at her face, words poised on his lips, but she smiled and stroked his lips with her fingertip. Hushing him.
‘Don’t! ... I agreed to this, remember. Go. Do what you need to do.’ She was good at pretending to be chipper and calm, while inside, she was disappointed, upset and frustrated. Reality returned, but she wasn’t going to show him that.
‘I’ll call you in the morning. Sweet dreams, beautiful.’ He kissed her on the forehead, then got up and left, grabbing his keys and phone from the bed where he had laid them. Rose watched him go, torn between anger, sadness, anxiety, happiness and heartbreak, all at the same time and unsure whether to smile or bury her face and cry. Hearing the door click as it closed behind him, it suddenly felt quiet and empty in the cottage. She was aware that this was what it would be like if she continued this with him, sneaking around and lonely nights when he couldn’t stay.
She didn’t go back to sleep. How could she? So much had happened in the last few hours, so much turmoil and happiness. Her body had been touched and kissed in places she never knew existed. Her nerve endings tingled with the ecstasy he had given her body over and over, and her heart had taken off to live on cloud nine while her brain was planting a foot in doubt and hell.
So much to process in her mind. Between complete ecstatic screaming happiness and searing ‘Oh my god, why me?’ pain. She could do this. She could deal with this short term. Sneaking around. Pretending to be nothing to him in public. If that is what it took to give him time to help his friend and have her come to terms with his moving on.
If he held her in private and kissed her like he had so many times in the last few hours, then she could deal with this, right? Not being with him was more than she could bear, so she would take what she could get. She didn’t fully understand the dynamics when it came to Morag, but she was sure he wouldn’t find this necessary unless it were the only way to deal with her. She didn’t want to pry, didn’t want to over question the complicated relationship. All she wanted to know was that she was his and only his, and Morag was nothing except a friend. They could take everything else from there.
* * *
Sleep was not on the table anymore, so she got up and reluctantly washed her body in a bubble bath. It seemed so wrong to wash his smell from her skin, his touch and lingering kisses. It almost felt like sacrilege, but it was the only thing she could do to relax again instead of obsessing over what he was doing now.
She figured doing something to keep her busy and tire her out was a better option than staring at her ceiling and torturing herself by overthinking. When she got out, she began cleaning up the cottage, one room at a time, aware of the sun beginning to move higher, brightening the world outside as dawn approached. The world seemed so quiet and empty. Songs of birds became louder as they awoke and started their day.
Wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, she soon had the place neat and prim. Cleaning a little more thoroughly than necessary, considering she was not an untidy person. She polished and even hoovered before finally sitting on the couch to try the morning TV programs. It was almost five am, time dragging so slowly.
He had been gone only a couple of hours, and it felt like days.
Could it really be?
It felt like it should have at least been several hours, and again, despite herself, she wondered what was happening at the house, tempted to reply text Abby and see if she offered any information in a roundabout way. Abby was normally up at the crack of dawn for college and would be up soon.
No!
She knew, for now, she had to keep Abby out of this. The girl was too open and honest. She carried everything in that readable face. One look or wink suggesting a relationship between Rob and Rose would cause an uproar.
Rob had not elaborated on the finer details of Morag’s issues or what was going on in her life, but she was sure he wouldn’t lie to her and wouldn’t over-dramatize or use her. He had mentioned suicide attempts; therefore, it wasn’t hard to assume Morag had mental health issues. She had seen for herself how the woman could change with a drink. From a cool cold temple to a slurring mess. She could bet that much more was happening behind the scenes, and she had only grazed the surface.
She grabbed a hot chocolate and a plate of biscuits from the kitchen before settling to watch some old cheesy romance on the TV. The great thing about sky tv was movies on demand. Heaven sent for the restless and awake at stupid o’clock, a distraction. A way to occupy her mind, and hopefully, she would fall asleep here and not be a train wreck of exhaustion tomorrow. God knows she hadn’t slept much when Rob was in her bed, either.
Just after six am, her phone lit up, vibrating across the coffee table and breaking her from her semi-dozing state.
‘Are you awake? Xxx’
Rob’s name illuminated above the text, sending her heart into a little flurry of fluttering. She hesitated, then grabbed it to reply.
‘I am. Been watching an old movie on the couch. Couldn’t sleep. X.’ She sighed as she cradled the phone towards her, only too aware of how deep she was into this relationship, which was unnerving.
‘I’m sorry I had to leave. I’m in bed, and all I can think about is you there alone.’
She smiled to herself, running her thumb across his reply as she bit on her lip, her heart swelling somewhat.
‘It’s ok. I understand. Is everything ok now?’ She missed him so badly already. It was crazy to contemplate the instant dependency on him.
‘Yes. She finally passed out. I put her in the guest room and sent Abby to bed. It got ugly, but she won’t remember it when she wakes up. She can rant on a bit when she’s that drunk.’
Rose held down the urge to throw her phone. Her love-sick mood suddenly turned on its head abruptly. She could not control the spikes of emotion and anger that scraped to the surface. She knew she was being unreasonable, but the thought of him pandering to her, taking care of her, carrying her the way he had carried Rose and putting her in bed. Running to deal with his ex-girlfriend and letting her control things this way.
‘Ok. I guess I will see you when I see you then?’
Did it sound bitchy?
She regretted sending it but then changed her mind and let it go. She was upset. He had to understand that. Had to understand her disappointment, at least. It would take some time to get used to this; it’s not like she had anything to fall back on in her dating experience. This was a complicated start to a new relationship; she had never dealt with anything like it.
There were a few minutes of no reply, and Rose regretted the message fiercely.
Was this officially their first lover’s tiff? Was he ignoring her?
Finally, almost ten minutes after she sent it, her phone lit up and gave her a small fright. She had been gazing into space, mulling things over and analysing everything. The vibration through her hand alerted her with a jump.
‘I have a confession!’
Rose felt her heart tighten as she read his reply, especially when it followed immediately with
‘I told you a little white lie’.
Rose took a deep gulp holding back the urge to sob, her frayed emotions and tired mind reacting in the worst conceivable way.
Lied about what? Oh, my god!
She felt instantly sick and couldn’t respond. She was terrified of what he would say.
Was Morag his girlfriend after all? Was this all a lie to get her into bed? Had he told Morag where he had been and was now breaking it off with Rose?
Her mind was racing frantically, going over everything he had said to her in the last few hours. A monsoon of emotion opened and began pouring down her face, tears flowing freely.
He had looked her in the eye and told her he wanted a future with her and only her. She felt so stupid! Rose had been duped by a guy who obviously was a born womaniser. Maybe it had all been lies.
The knock on her door startled her. It was still early, the sun barely up. She was in no state for guests, but Rob’s voice through the door caused her to pause, gulp down her sob and listen. Sure, she just imagined it.
‘Rose, let me in.’ He sounded normal, husky, and close but seemingly normal.
She moved to the door without hesitation, fierce inner mood overtaking, ready to take him on and ask him what the hell he lied about. Prepared to confront him! Terrified to confront him! Tears fell down her face.
She hauled open the door to face a sight that made her heart lurch, despite herself. Too beautiful for words, and it only pained her more. As soon as he saw her, he dragged her into his arms.
‘Baby. What is it? What’s wrong?’ Concern and panic fleeted across his face instantly. All she could do was wave her phone at him, swallowing her tears, flapping his hands away from her and trying not to succumb to his embrace. He caught her phone and tilted it so that he could see the screen with his text message, ‘I told you a little white lie’.
He read it, his face relaxing in relief, changing to a grimace. He sighed and scooped her up
‘I meant I wasn’t home in bed! I lied about that. I was at your door! Well, walking up to it. I came across the back fields as soon as I knew you were awake. I just wanted to be here with you and surprise you.’ He laughed apologetically, wiping her tears and covering her face with kisses and nibbles, his arms sliding around her fully and hugging the life out of her.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would take it any other way! ... I’m an idiot!’ His hands cradled her hair and face. He found her mouth and hushed her crying. Wrapped back in his arms, the tidal wave of emotion began to subside slowly, and her crazy thoughts calmed at his touch.
‘I thought you would tell me I was just a one-night stand.’ She broke out shakily, smiling back her tears and sniffing once more.
‘I wouldn’t lie to you in that way, Rose...I wouldn’t hurt you! You are not a one-time thing or a casual thing... I really, really like you. I really want to have a relationship with you.’ it was how the words tumbled from his mouth. The way his normally manly face suddenly looked like a lost little boy made her believe, stop and take stock.
He wasn’t lying.
She had never seen him look sincerer as he held her face, so their eyes locked. She could only see honesty in the clear greyness of those beautiful depths.
He pulled her down to the couch, stroking her hair and gently kissing her face until he was sure she believed him. Calming her with his soft words and reassuring her that this was real for him. Finally satisfied that she was calm and happy again, he relaxed, sliding off his coat and throwing his keys and phone aside on the low table by the couch.
‘Come on, I’m tired and want to sleep beside my woman.’ He pulled her to her feet slowly, up to his tall height and gave her another tight embrace; his hands were sliding down over her robe suggestively. He let her go, sliding her hand into his and guiding her along the hall to the bedroom, stopping to peel off his hooded top and kick his trainers off as soon as he entered her room. A simple motion that sent tingles through her stomach as she watched him.
‘I have not had a second of sleep since I left, and I’m pretty knackered.’ He turned, pulling off her robe, his eyes lighting up when he realised she was completely naked beneath it. ‘Maybe not too tired.’ He grinned, scooping her up and taking her back into bed. His one-track mind showed her exactly what he was staying awake for.