I don't need his sweet words, his gentle touch, and his pleading eyes. I need space. I need time to heal myself, to pick up the broken pieces.
I don't want to hear his sorry's and his pudding's. I want him to realize that he needs to appreciate what he has before it's gone. But it's too late now.
And it hurts.
It hurts me so much to let him go. It hurts what he has done to me. I closed my eyes and the memories of us replayed in my head.
My crying turned into sobbing and my voice was raw. With trembling fingers I grabbed my phone and called the only person who could help me. The only person who could help me escape this nightmare.
"Hello?" he answered.
I cried when I heard his voice. "C..Can I come with you?"
Appreciation letter to Marco.
Dear future husband,
I just want to let you know how much I love you and how much I am obsessed with you. Thank you for accepting Milan as your own, that's probably the most I am thankful for. He loves and adores you so much, I'm kinda jealous haha. Thank you for giving me a second family, who I love so very much.
I know we're going to get married in a couple of hours. And then we will finally be Mr and Mrs. Vasilios. Isn't it crazy how things work? I never thought that I would meet my One night stand again, let alone marry him. It's crazy how faith works. But I guess good things comes to those who wait.
I'll not promise you that I'll be a good wife or mom, because some days you'll be coming home and there will be no food on the table because I'm to tired to cook so we will end up ordering chinese or something. Somedays you'll find a pile of clothes in the laundry room and sometimes you'll not even see the bedroom floor anymore, because I always throw my clothes on the floor. Someday, when we have kids, they will draw on the walls, because I left them alone for two seconds and you'll be mad at me or maybe i'll forget to throw their diapers away and you accidentaly stepped on it. And somedays, you'll complain because I'm working too much and never have time for myself.
But I can promise you one thing. I'll always be there for you, your family, and our kids. From now on, it's not only me, but it's us. No matter what I do or what I accomplish, I didn't do it by myself. It's us from now on. And yes, there is no such thing as a perfect couple. We will have our ups and downs, but remember...Communication is the key for a happy and healthy marriage.
So, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing me that love still exist. Thank you for being the light of my life. I promise to keep enjoying all the little things that makes everyday with you so special.
I love you, Marco Vasilios.
I love you till death do us apart.
Yours truly,
Pudding.
Three years later in Amman, Jordan
Jillian Malik P.O.V
It was a very busy day at the market. It was so hot and I couldn't stand the bustle. I quickly went to the grocery stand and paid for the groceries. I hurried back to my car and immediately turned on the air-conditioning. I let out an exhausted sigh.
Three years, and I'm still not used to the hot weather. It's not hot all year round, but when it is I wished I could go back to New York city. I placed the groceries on the passenger seat and headed home. It was a busy day at work, but thank goodness it was Friday.
I drove to the villa I was staying for the past three years. It was a seven bedroom villa that I shared with Ethan and his now wife, Irina. Irina was so sweet and understanding that she let me stay with them.
So much had changed in three years. I flew all the way from New York to Jordan to start a new life. The only people aside from Ethan and Irina that knows where I am are my aunt and Milan. They come visit me during Christmas and Summer. I'm pretty sure Marco knows where I am too, he just never showed up and I think that's a good thing. But deep down I wished he did. If he knew where I was, I wished he had at least sent me an apology letter. But he didn't.
I pulled up into the driveway of the big vanilla colored Villa and grabbed the groceries from the passenger seat. I opened the door and the house was empty. It was always empty during the day. Irina was usually in her bedroom and Ethan was at work. The only time I saw them was in the morning during breakfast and at night during dinner.
Last year Irina asked me to be her maid of honour, but I politely declined. I didn't showed up to their wedding either, because I just couldn't. It was painful. The feelings I have for Marco were still there and I don't think I will ever love someone as much as I love Marco. Even after three years, it's still very painful to think about him.
I actually forgave him, because if I didn't I don't think I could live peacefully. What he had done to me was a low blow and even though I told myself that the past will not affect my future. It actually did.
I can't move on from him.
He's still in my mind and my heart.
And how much I tell myself that I deserve better than him, it makes me want him more. Nights are torture to me. I can't sleep without having nightmares about that day. I can't sleep without thinking about him. There were so many times that I wanted to go back to New York and just throw myself at him. But I know that this time it should be different. I'm not the one that should come crawling back to him. He is.