"I still don't get why we're leaving."
Sinisters iced eyes flashed me an irritated glare, "because, Calla, we just threatened to kill the French Mafia bosses family, and refused to negotiate with them."
I crossed my arms in front of me, "who gives a fuck?"
He was throwing our bags together, "I do, this is their territory. I had thought they were back in France, that's the only reason we came here."
"But I don-"
"We're leaving, Calla. That's final."
I pouted, I definitely didn't want to leave, once we went back to the compound, things would go back to complete chaos. I wanted to be on vacation forever.
"You know, this whole dominant fuckery you got going on is kinda turning me on."
He glanced at me, his eyes dimmed, I wasn't actually as horny as usual, but I definitely loved sex with him, and if we fucked, then yay more vacation.
He shook his head, "nyet, calla. We have to leave." (No).
Son of a bitch.
"Hey shithead, the jet just touched down, we gotta go." The voice of Afanas flooded through my ears and I groaned, why the fuck does he always show up?
He walked in the room, wearing a white Gucci collard shirt, his dark hair slicked back. He wore a solid gold watch, his face freshly shaven. Sometimes I forget how rich these Mafia fucks really are.
He grins at me when he walks in, "how's your honeymoon going?"
"Zatknis'." (Shut up).
He pulled out a fat joint from his pocket, lighting it up, and blowing a cloud at my face.
"You're kinda feisty, babygirl." He smiled.
Sinister walked back into the room, dressed in a black Louis Vuitton dress shirt, a flashy Rolex watch on his wrist, his shirt sleeves were rolled up to reveal his Mafia tattoos that snaked around his arms, the collar of his shirt was pulled down, showing off more tattoos around his neck. Rings lined his fingers, each rimmed with Soviet insignias.
I frowned as I looked at the both of them, "okay I understand Afanas being an extra bitch, but Sinister why are you being all flashy with the Mafia?"
Sinister began pulling clothes out of my bag for me to wear, "because we're in French Mafia territory, we can't have them not knowing who we are."
Why. Are. They. So. Petty.
I glanced at the outfit Sinister laid out for me. Ripped jean short-shorts and a black crop top.
Horny fuckhead.
"Why can't I wear my hoodie?" I pouted.
"Oh, you mean my sweatshirt that you destroyed with black sharpie, writing 'fuck you' on it? Yeah, no. You're not wearing that."
I walked into the bathroom, pulling on the clothes, and running a comb through my hair. I couldn't believe that I had gone from being sold, to becoming apart of the Russian Mafia. I was married to the Russian mob boss, and I loved him. It's funny how things change, but sometimes you just have to accept that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be.
A string of curses came from outside the bathroom, I walked out to hear sinister cursing his fucking head off. Afanas didn't seem too thrilled either, he seemed to be furiously hitting his joint to calm his nerves.
"What happened?"
Sinister ran a hand through his hair, "our fucking jet was blown up by the French, they fucking killed our pilot."
Ohh shittt.
"How the fuck are we supposed to leave then?" I asked, running a hand through my hair.
Why the fuck does shit like this always happen? Why can't I just have a normal, Russian mob honeymoon? Why do I have to continuously get taken by psychotic assholes? Why the fuck does Afanas keep showing up? And WHY do I want to pet a puppy right now?
Sinister glanced at me before turning to Afanas, "U frantsuzskoy tolpy yest' strui..."(the French Mafia has jets...)
I crossed my arms, "hi, yeah, are you forgetting that I speak Russian?"
Sinister sent an annoyed icy glance my way, Afanas smiled a little.
"non abbiamo un pilota" Afanas continued.
I frowned, "is that fucking Italian?"
They continued their foreign conversation, pretending like I wasn't even there. I HATE BEING OUT OF THE LOOP.
I felt like Neville, from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. (Heh...Harry potter)
Their conversation went on for about 5 minutes, every now and then Sinister would curse in Russian, and run a hand through his hair.
Afanas pulled out another joint, lighting it up with his "Bad Bitch" lighter.
"Okay, we have a plan." He said, taking in a drag, and blowing it directly in my face.
I scrunched my nose, "is there a particular reason as to why I was not apart of this conversation?"
The two men looked at each other, and said nothing.
"I'll literally divorce you right now." I muttered to Sinister.
He glared at me, unsmiling, "we have a plan. But it involves you seducing the security guard at the hanger gates."
I pressed my lips together, but I couldn't help the explosion of laughter that erupted from my mouth. Tears sprung into my eyes as I laughed my ass off, not bothering to notice the two unsmiling men in front of me.
Minutes later, when I finally collected myself, I let out a breath.
I sighed, "please, sweet baby Jesus, please tell me that's a joke."
"No, suka, it's not a joke. If you can distract him long enough for us to get to the jet, then we'll be home free." Afanas said seriously.
"Why don't you just shoot him?"
Sinister sighed, "because, love, shooting him would cause a scene. The airport alarms would go off, and we will be noticed."
My smile was completely gone now, "are you boys forgetting the part where we actually need a fucking pilot?"
Sinister shrugged, "the French have a pilot, we'll kidnap him, force him to fly us, and kill him when we get there."
I cocked my head to the side, "that doesn't sound very friendly."
Sinisters eyes iced over, "it's not, Calla. But if you can't charm that guard long enough for us to sneak past, then we're fucked."
I held up my ring finger, pointing to the diamond
ring.
"darling...are you forgetting that we're married? I simply cannot flirt with another man..." I pretended to look distraught "the horror, if anyone heard of my affair..." I sighed dramatically.
"Calla..." Sinister warned "you're not fucking him. You're simply flirting with him, you don't even have to touch him."
I grinned, "I dunno...I'm kinda saucy" I winked "I've always wanted to know what French dic-"
He slapped his hand over my mouth, "don't you dare. Finish. That. Sentence."
I licked his hand, my eyes twinkling mischievously.
It's his fault for thinking that I can be seductive in any way. I like sitting at home eating pizza and watching pointless horror movies, I write bad words on perfectly nice hoodies, I use creative curse words, I use toilet seats as weapons, I call full grown men 'mom' , I'm a horny alcoholic, and a kinky stoner.
But a seductive temptress? Let's see if that shit ends up on my list.