Chapter 18: Jean Broody vs. Bradley Jackson ~ When suppressed desires explode… The talk!

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Bradley felt numb. After getting cleaned up, he’d moved as if in a trance to sit on his bed with his back against the headboard. He sat with one foot on the rug in front of the bed and the other planted onto the bed with an arm across his knee. He couldn’t turn off the condemning voice in his mind. And he couldn’t help but acknowledge that everything the voice said was the truth. He was a dirty little faggot who was going to burn in hell. His father’s voice raised until it reached a crescendo. There was no escape. Bradley listened over and over till he heard a knock on his door. He raised his head when his door opened to reveal a somber-looking Jean.

The doctor stood at the door for a full minute, just looking at Bradley. Maybe he was about to get his wish, Bradley thought. Jean was going to kick him out. He had every reason to. Bradley wouldn’t blame him at all. What he’d done to Jean was wrong. It had been without his consent and Jean could take him on if he wanted to. Maybe for the sake of Ty, he would merely kick him out and leave it at that. He’d wanted to push Jean to kick him out but not this way. He watched as Jean came in and sat on the bed, facing him. Bradley said the first thing that came to mind;

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly.

But Jean shrugged indifferently. “I’m not. You forget that you could catch that herpes though.” He said casually. “You need to get tested.”

If Jean’s aim was to get some sort of laughter from Bradley, it didn’t work. The distraught soldier merely stared at him.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Bradley whispered.

Jean threw up his hands. “I was drunk.”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with? Drunk?”

“But I was. Well, up to a point.” Jean ran his fingers through his dark hair. “That was…that was…” He trailed off with a sigh and then threw his hands up in the air. “Remember what I said about two mouths being better than one during a blowjob?” Bradley didn’t look like he was about to answer that question so Jean went on; “Well, turns out some mouths are better than two. That was off the fucking charts.”

The look on Bradley’s face as he stared at Jean was a cross between shock and confusion. “Shouldn’t you be…angry or something?” Bradley frowned. “Do you get blown by guys all the time?”

“No, I don’t get blown by guys. I’ve never even touched another man sexually before.” Jean responded quietly. “I don’t do guys. But I was very horny, thanks to you. And drunk. That’s a killer combination, dude. There was no way I could have stopped you. Why did you do it?”

Bradley groaned and closed his eyes. “I saw you lying there…so hard, so ready…” He swallowed hard as he recalled the sight of Jean stroking himself. “I couldn’t help myself.” He whispered. “I just had to have you in my mouth.”

“Well, it was…I really can’t find the words.” Jean gave an exaggerated sigh. “Let’s just say you do your initials great justice.” He drawled. “Did you go out of your way to study how to…”

“Dude! I’m a guy. I know what feels good. It’s not rocket science.” Bradley told the lie so smoothly he almost believed it himself. No need to tell Jean that indeed, he’d been taught the fine art of giving head. At least there was some truth in what he’d told Jean. “Even an inexperienced teenaged boy can outperform a forty-year-old woman who considers herself a pro. Just saying.” He shrugged.

The silence after Bradley’s words stretched till Jean finally broke it. “So…do you plan on ever getting out of that tight closet you’ve locked yourself in?”

“It was just a blowjob,” Bradley growled. “It meant nothing. Some men do it all the time just for the fun of it. Don’t read more into what happened because it’s…”

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Bradley,” Jean said quietly but firmly. “I was there. I watched you. I saw how much you loved what you did. Straight men don’t go out of their way to help other men get off and enjoy it whilst they’re at it.”

“You don’t understand. I…I’m not in the closet. Not the way you think.” He added quickly when Jean raised an eyebrow. “It’s not as if I want to do this in secret. I don’t want to do it at all. I haven’t wanted to since I left home at fourteen. And I’ve never had the urge to. But you…” Bradley pointed an index finger at Jean. “You make me…”

“What? So this is my fault now?” Jean looked incredulous. “First I got you shot and then I make you crave cock?”

Bradley groaned. “That’s not what I…” But he trailed off. “In fact, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I’ve been okay with women. I have sex with them. It’s not mind-blowing but it’s okay. It gets me by. I haven’t even thought about…men in years. Then you come along and everything changes.”

“Is that why you’ve been driving away my women?” Jean looked amused. “You wanted my cock all for yourself?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Bradley rasped, squirming. “You do disturb me at night.”

“Bullshit!”

“I’m being truthful.” Bradley snapped. “And what’s with all the screaming? Can’t your women enjoy having sex quietly?”

“Depends on what you’re feeling or what your partner is doing to you.” Jean drawled. “Sometimes it’s too good to keep quiet. I enjoy it when they express themselves. What man doesn’t?”

“Yeah, whatever. I’d pick the sound of a thousand and one vuvuzelas over sounds of…you having sex, any day.” Bradley said without thinking. He froze immediately after the words left his lips.

“Come on, they’re not that loud.” Jean groaned, completely missing Bradley’s meaning.

Bradley heaved a sigh of relief. He sure as hell wasn’t ready to let Jean know that the real reason those sounds of sex bothered him was the man involved. “It is faint but it’s there.” He said quietly. “And it disturbs me.”

“Fine. I’ll try to keep it down for your sake.” Jean stood up to go but paused at the door and turned to look at Bradley. “Why don’t you want to…be yourself? You said earlier that you don’t want this at all. Why? It obviously gives you great pleasure so why?”

“I just don’t want it okay?” Bradley growled. “Now let it go.”

“For now,” Jean muttered. “Just know, your secret is safe with me.” With that, he left the room.

Bradley grabbed a pillow, pressed his face into it, and let out an anguished scream. How was he going to handle his attraction to Jean? If anything, that attraction had skyrocketed since what had gone on in Jean’s bedroom earlier. He wanted the man so much his head was spinning. He didn’t have any choice…he had to leave. He would have a serious talk with Ty. Let him understand that he couldn’t continue imposing on Jean. Then he would leave. With that decision made, Bradley adjusted his cock which had gotten semi-hard as he’d been speaking to Jean and then reached for the burner phone.