POV Caleb
Every pathetic dream I've tortured myself with dissolves into nothing compared to the weight of her body pressed against mine.
The heat radiating through her thin shirt, the soft sounds she makes when I grip her thighs harder, the way she gasps into my mouth when I roll my hips forward—it's everything I've wanted and everything I don't deserve, all tangled together in a knot I can't untie.
Somehow we migrate to my room.
I don't remember the bathroom or the doors or the ten feet between her bedroom and mine. One moment she's pinned against plaster, and the next I'm laying her on my bed with something approaching reverence.
Then I ruin it completely by stripping my shirt off with hands that won't stop trembling.
Real smooth, Thornton.
I'm shaking like it's my first time.
She watches me with eyes that hold equal parts desire and uncertainty, her chest rising and falling in a rhythm that matches my own ragged breathing.
"You're shaking." Her voice is quiet, almost tender, and I hate how much I want to hear it again.
"No, I'm not."
"Caleb." She props herself up on her elbows, honey-blonde hair spilling across my pillow like she belongs there. "Your hands are literally trembling."
"Shut up."
"I'm just saying—"
The nerd in her is probably cataloging everything right now—analyzing my reactions, calculating outcomes, running whatever equations her overworked brain computes during moments like this.
The thought makes me want to destroy her capacity for rational thinking entirely.
"And I'm just saying shut up." The words come out rough, defensive, exactly like the asshole I've always been to her. I drag a hand through my hair. "You want to analyze this? Write a thesis about my physiological responses? Or do you want me to put my mouth on you until you forget how to form sentences?"
Her lips part. No sound comes out.
"That's what I thought."
But I don't close the distance between us. I stand there like an idiot, shirtless and exposed in ways that have nothing to do with skin, while she studies me with those grey-green eyes that see too much.
"I'm not a virgin anymore," she says, lifting her chin with that familiar stubbornness.
Like hell it helps.
"That doesn't mean it won't hurt the second time."
Something shifts in her expression—surprise, maybe, that I'm thinking of her comfort at all.
I wonder how badly she expects to be treated right now.
I wonder if that expectation is my fault too.
"We don't have to do this," she says, and her voice wavers on the last word. "If you've changed your mind—"
"I haven't changed my fucking mind." The words come out harsher than I intended. I force myself to breathe. "I just... I need you to be sure."
Her brow furrows. "Why?"
Because if we do this and you regret it, I'll rip my own heart out.
"Because I'm not a complete bastard," I say instead. "Despite popular opinion."
She sits up fully, and her shirt rides up, revealing a strip of pale stomach that makes my mouth go dry. "Caleb, I want this. I want you."
Three words. I want you. They shouldn't have the power to unmake me completely, but they do.
I close the distance between us in two strides, my hands finding her face, tilting it up so she has nowhere to look but at me. "Tell me if it hurts. I mean it, Serena. One word and I stop."
She doesn't answer with words. Instead, she reaches for the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head.
The breath leaves my body entirely.
"Your turn," she says, and her voice shakes, but her hands don't as they reach for my belt.
I catch her wrists. "Slow down."
"You've been telling me to shut up and take what I want for years." Her eyes flash with challenge. "Now you want me to be patient?"
"Now I want to take my time." I release her wrists and trace my fingers down her arms, watching goosebumps rise in their wake. "I want to learn every inch of you. I want to hear every sound you make. I want to remember this when I'm old and broken and you've moved on to someone who deserves you."
Her breath catches. "Caleb..."
"Lie back."
She obeys, and the sight of her stretched across my sheets—half-dressed, flushed, waiting—makes my heart slam against my ribs so hard I'm sure she can hear it.
I undress her slowly, learning every curve I've only imagined in the dark. My fingers trace the dip of her waist, the flare of her hips, the soft swell of her breasts as I peel away each layer.
"You're staring," she whispers, arms moving to cover herself.
I catch her wrists again, pin them gently above her head. "Don't hide from me. Not now."
"It's embarrassing—"
"You're perfect." The word escapes before I can stop it. "You've always been perfect, and I've hated you for it. Hated how much I wanted you. Hated that you made me feel things I couldn't control."
Her eyes go wide. "Caleb, what are you—"
I silence her with my mouth, kissing her like I'm trying to memorize the taste of her, like this might be the only night I ever get.
She's all soft skin and hidden strength, modest and magnificent, the curves she buries under oversized sweaters finally revealed to hands that have ached to touch them.
I have to close my eyes for a moment to keep from embarrassing myself. Every fantasy I've ever had pales against the reality of Serena Lakin naked and waiting in my bed.
When I finally remove my jeans, I watch her gaze travel down my body.
Her eyes drop to where I'm hard and straining, and they widen with an expression that sends heat flooding through my veins.
"Caleb..."
The way she says my name—half whisper, half warning—tells me everything.
Her gaze stays fixed on my length like she's trying to solve a math problem that doesn't add up, and I watch her throat work around a swallow.
The girl who has an answer for everything is suddenly speechless, and I'd be lying if I said the ego boost wasn't intoxicating.
"We go slow." I position myself between her thighs, feeling her tense beneath me. My hands slide up her legs, thumbs tracing circles on her inner thighs until she shivers. "I'll stop whenever you say."
But I don't rush toward the finish line like some desperate teenager. Instead, I lower my mouth to hers and kiss her like we have all night, because we do, and I plan to use every second of it.
She melts into me immediately, her tension dissolving as my tongue slides against hers. I take my time exploring her mouth, learning what makes her gasp, what makes her fingers tighten in my hair.
When I suck on her bottom lip, she moans into my mouth, and the sound travels straight to my cock.
My lips trace down her jaw, her neck, finding the spot behind her ear that makes her squirm. I drag my teeth across her collarbone and she arches into me, pressing those perfect breasts against my chest.
The friction of skin against skin is maddening, but I force myself to slow down, to savor every reaction I've spent years imagining.
I trail kisses down her sternum, stopping to pay attention to each breast until she's panting and writhing beneath me.
My tongue circles one nipple while my fingers roll the other, and the sounds she makes are filthy and desperate and exactly what I've always wanted to hear from her mouth.
"Caleb, please—" She's begging now, hips lifting off the mattress, seeking friction I'm deliberately withholding.
"Please what?" I murmur against her skin, kissing lower, across her ribs, her stomach trembling under my lips.
"I need you." Her hips lift off the mattress, seeking contact I'm deliberately withholding. "Please, I need you inside me."
The words hit me like a freight train. Serena Lakin—straight-A student, color-coded planner, girl who blushes at crude jokes—just told me to fuck her, and my brain short-circuits completely.
I've imagined her saying those exact words more times than I'd ever admit, but hearing them fall from her actual mouth, breathy and real, absolutely destroys whatever remained of my composure.
My hand slides between her thighs, fingers finding her slick and swollen and ready, and the groan that escapes me is embarrassingly primal. She's soaked, and knowing I did that to her makes me harder than I've ever been in my entire goddamn life.
I work her with my fingers first, watching her face as I learn her body.
The way she gasps when I curl upward, the way her thighs clench around my hand when I find the right rhythm.
By the time I position myself at her entrance, she's desperate, pulling at my shoulders, her whole body trembling with need.
She's small and tight, and when I begin to press forward, her breath catches in a way that makes me pause. Every muscle in my body screams against the stillness, but I hold myself there, waiting, watching her face for permission to continue.
Her hands grip my shoulders, fingernails biting into muscle, and she pulls me closer.
The silent command undoes whatever restraint I had left, and I sink into her inch by inch, jaw clenched against the overwhelming sensation of finally being inside the only girl I've ever actually wanted.
Mine, my brain chants. Finally mine.
I force myself to go slowly, watching her face for any sign of real pain.
She's biting her lip, brow furrowed in concentration, and I wait until her expression eases into pleasure before I let myself move.
The first real thrust makes us both groan, her body arching up to meet mine.
"Okay?" My voice comes out strained, wrecked, barely human.
"Yes." Her hips rock experimentally beneath me, finding a rhythm that makes my vision blur at the edges. "God, yes."
After that, thought becomes impossible. Every rational function in my brain goes dark, replaced by pure sensation and the primal need to claim her completely.
I lose myself in her—her sounds, soft gasps and broken moans that I'll replay until I'm dead. Her taste, salt and sweetness as I drag my mouth down her throat. The way she clings to me like I'm the only solid thing in a world spinning off its axis, her nails leaving trails of fire down my back.
Her legs wrap tighter around my waist, changing the angle, and the sound she makes when I hit somewhere deeper shoots straight through my spine.
I do it again, watching her face contort with pleasure, memorizing every expression she's never shown anyone else.
I've dreamed about this since my first fumbling experiences taught me what bodies could do together. Back seats of cars with girls whose names blurred by morning, dorm rooms and parties and encounters that meant nothing beyond temporary release.
None of them mattered because they weren't her.
Every touch was practice for this moment. Every kiss was a rehearsal for her mouth. I didn't understand it then, but I understand it now—Serena Lakin has been the destination all along.
Her back arches off the mattress, pressing every inch of her body against mine.
I feel her start to come apart beneath me, walls tightening, breath fracturing into desperate gasps.
The sight of her face when she lets go—eyes squeezed shut, lips parted, completely lost to sensation—is the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed.
I follow her over the edge seconds later, burying my face in her neck to muffle the groan that tears out of me. The world goes white, then dark, then settles into silence broken only by our ragged breathing.
She's ruined me for everyone else, and she doesn't even know it yet.