I made Alec lie down, and trailed my fingers along his ribs. This was my plan to get him to sleep tonight, and hopefully for more than an hour—perhaps the method he used on me would work on him. Finally, his eyelids fell. While lying on his chest and watching him sleep, enjoying the peace on his face, I drifted off.
Not much later, pounding in his chest woke me.
I sat up. A light sheen coated his skin, and his hands were in his hair. His eyes were closed in concentration.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said through a clenched jaw. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
I touched his neck in an attempt to get him to look at me.
“I can’t,” he said.
“Alec…”
He opened his eyes with what seemed to be much effort, and he focused only on my eyes. That detachment was there. I touched his face, and there was pain, as if my contact was too much, was hurtful somehow.
I took my hand away. “I’m sorry.”
He glared at the ceiling and then closed his eyes.
He took a breath and looked at me, still focusing only on my gaze. “I want you more than I can explain, more than I can comprehend.” It sounded like an admission.
I hesitated, not sure what was going on. “I want you, too.”
He took another breath, and it shook. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”
“Alec, what’s wrong?”
He looked to the ceiling, as if trying to get lost in the darkness. A long pause.
“I dream about you,” he finally said.
I wasn’t sure what to say; I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant, what this had to do with his being in pain. “Baby…”
He looked at me. His hand lightly touched my face, barely brushing with his fingertips. “It’s so difficult,” he murmured.
I held his hand to my cheek. “What is?”
“Everything.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Yes, it does.” He took his hand away and shifted slightly, like something was aching, his lower back or maybe his hip. He bent his knee, and I glanced to make sure he had enough room on the bed. Then I realized why he was uncomfortable, why a sheen was coating his skin, why his neck and cheeks were tinged with pink. He was aroused.
“That’s why you haven’t been sleeping,” I said. “You dream about us.”
“I didn’t want to upset you.”
Confused, I tilted my head.
“You’re so innocent.” He paused. “I’ve dreamed of you for years, and it’s growing more…intense.”
I leaned closer. “Alec, I love you.” My fingers brushed along his warm cheek. “I want you to be my first.” Right now if he wanted, if he would allow it, whatever he needed to make the pain go away.
In his eyes and in his voice, there was an apology. “I know.”
I took a breath and lay down on his chest.
He held me all night. His body seemed to calm as the hours passed.
By morning, he seemed more relaxed, like he had been yesterday evening. It was like he knew this would all end soon, and he was determined to enjoy this time together.
After showering and dressing, I started down the stairs. Alec was already there, in the great room talking with Vincent and Ben.
“He didn’t even notice me yesterday,” Ben said.
Alec paused. “All right.” He looked at Vincent. “Make the arrangements.”
“Yes, sir.” Vincent pulled out his phone while he walked down the hall.
“Thanks, Alec,” Ben said then followed Vincent.
Ben was going to the restaurant again today, to spy on Dean. I decided not to give Alec or Ben too hard a time; they would see my fear, and that might bother them, distract them.
Alec met me at the bottom of the stairs.
“Please keep them all safe,” was all I said.
“I will.”
I made him eat something for breakfast, and we talked about only trivial things. I was determined not to mess with his head, not to make him think of anything that might distract him from what he would be doing that day. He seemed fine when he left a little while later.
Hanna had to go grocery shopping. She didn’t seem like she felt like it, perhaps as worried about Ben and Alec as I was. She said she didn’t have anything to make for dinner, though, so she left with Charlie around ten. I worried Alec had asked her to bring one of them because he was concerned about her safety with everything that was going on, but I chose to believe it was because she liked the company and she needed help loading that many groceries into the car.
With only Anthony around, the house was quiet. He disappeared somewhere—maybe to the gate to talk to the men there, or maybe to the library. No one hung around to watch over me like they had when I’d first come here.
I decided to work off some of my nerves by practicing in the gym. I tried not to think of Ben or Alec and only focus on balance and posture. I was only moderately successful, but at least I was moving. Being occupied was better than dwelling.
Voices from down the hall.
I stopped.
“What’s wrong with Hanna?” Anthony asked.
“Dipshit checkout girl,” Charlie said. “She found out Hanna’s connected to Alec.”
“What’d she do?” Anthony sounded like he couldn’t fathom someone upsetting Hanna. Neither could I.
“I was helping unload the cart, and Hanna said something about being happy Alec’s appetite’s been better. Then the checkout girl’s eyes got wide, and she said, ‘Kaden?’”
“That’s it?”
“You know Hanna. She played it off, basically just ignored her. Usually works. But this girl was a real bitch. She muttered something about blood money when Hanna swiped her card. Fucking cunt.”
“Is Hanna all right?”
“Yeah. She was upset. Now I think she’s just pissed. She wouldn’t let me help put the groceries away.”
Anthony sighed, obviously annoyed. “I guess we better tell Alec when he gets home.”
Charlie laughed. “He’ll probably buy the store and fire the bitch. All I can say is she’s lucky she’s a girl. If it’d been a guy…”
Footsteps. Their voices were moving closer
“I don’t know,” Anthony said. “Alec’s been different lately.”
“Yeah, man, what the hell’s going on with that?”
“I have a guess.”
“She’s about five-five with brown hair and a hot body.”
Anthony said nothing.
There was no place to escape.
“I don’t get it,” Charlie continued. “I mean, she barely talks and he’s never home—then all of a sudden they’re together?”
“Like Alec’s going to share that shit with you.”
“I know, but you know what I mean. I always figured he was getting’ plenty of ass on the side, probably the married-chick route—you know, bang ’em with no commitment. But he never let anyone know about it. He never actually dates anyone.”
“I don’t know…” Anthony didn’t sound happy to be discussing his boss’ love life. I hoped he could stop Charlie’s jabbering.
“Well, he never shows an interest,” Charlie said, “not in public. They throw themselves at him, and he seems pissed. Remember that time when—”
“I remember.”
“I don’t get it. Damn, man, yesterday morning he kissed her in front of us. Did you catch that?”
“Yeah, I caught that.”
“She’s hot and everything. I don’t blame him for wanting to…” His voice trailed off. I figured Anthony gave him a look that stopped him. I was liking Anthony more and more.
“Damn good thing Vincent warned us not to hit on her,” Charlie said.
“Yeah.” Anthony sounded like he finally agreed with him on something.
They were moving closer, just outside the gym door. I wished I’d closed it. Maybe they’d walk by and not notice me.
“Do you think she’s after money—” Charlie stopped his sentence when they walked in. He gaped at me. “Shit.”
“Hi,” I said. “Um, I was just leaving.”
Charlie’s eyes were wide. “Adriane, I—”
I forced a smile. “I didn’t hear anything.”
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
I picked up my shoes then paused before walking out. “I didn’t want any of this to happen. If I could fix it, I would.”
Anthony’s tone was kind. “It was just a matter of time before Dean and Alec crossed paths. It’s not your fault you got stuck in the middle.”
My voice barely made sound. “Thank you.” Then I opened my mouth to ask why he thought Dean and Alec would’ve crossed paths anyway, but then I thought better of it. I would get the truth from Alec, eventually.
I started toward the door.
Charlie fidgeted uncomfortably, as if he wanted to apologize again, as if he was nervous Alec would be mad.
I paused and made eye contact with Charlie. “I care about him. There’s nothing more to it.”
He opened his mouth, and then paused. He looked like that huge fish mounted on the wall of one of the accountants’ offices at work.
“And I’m not after his money,” I added then walked out.
The look on Charlie’s face was almost funny.
Anthony’s laugh followed me down the hall.
Without bothering to change or even put on my shoes, I went to the kitchen to see if Hanna was all right. I figured she would still be there, putting the groceries away or cleaning obsessively to work off her aggravation. I was right. She was rearranging the pantry. She looked like she’d gotten the cold stuff put away but had gotten sidetracked when she started on the non-refrigerated groceries. Several full plastic bags still sat on the counter, and she was covering the island with cans and boxes from the pantry.
“Can I help?” I asked.
She turned. “Oh, uh, no thank you, dear.” She continued unloading cans of vegetables, moving back and forth between the pantry and island.
“I overheard Charlie telling Anthony what happened,” I said.
Her steps paused.
I moved closer. “You know who he is,” I said, “and so do I. No one else’s opinion matters. And I seriously doubt Alec cares what people think.”
She smiled a little. “He never has—not a stupid checkout girl, anyway.”
He probably did work to maintain a certain image so he could do business in the city, but she was right—a checkout girl hardly registered on his radar. He might even have thought it funny, if Hanna hadn’t been hurt.
“Please don’t tell him I let it get to me,” she said.
I smiled. “Only if you let me help you.”
She did let me help. We reorganized the pantry and then started on lunch. We talked a little, and she seemed to relax, back to her usual, pleasant self. Her gentle demeanor always made me feel a little more at ease.
Anthony and Charlie came to lunch. They seemed to relax when Hanna talked with them animatedly, like normal.
While I listened to the conversation, I wondered—perhaps Alec’s frayed reputation was part of his reason for keeping me at a distance. Perhaps he thought he was protecting me from the mistrust of the Kaden name.
No, that might be part of his hesitancy, but there was definitely more to it. After all, it hadn’t been bad enough for him to push Hanna away. If anything, I figured he wanted her close so he could protect her.
It was different with me.
I helped Hanna clean up and waited mostly patiently for Alec to call. He’d called around one o’clock yesterday. I hoped he would do that again today. When one o’clock passed, I started getting antsy.
To keep from making Hanna nervous, I took a walk out front, close enough that I would be able to hear if she called for me, if Alec called and asked to talk to me.
The weather was turning warmer, and now I was thankful for the clothes in my dresser. I walked around, pretending I cared about the view, first the tree line at the cliffs, and then across the yard through the garden, and across the drive to the more sparse woods there.
“The whole thing just makes me nervous is all.” The voice was coming from the direction of the garage, or maybe Ben’s tool shed, but it definitely wasn’t Ben. It sounded like Zoe.
“It’s not your job to worry about the situation,” Vincent said. “It’s only your job to patrol the grounds and watch the gate.”
“Mr. Kaden’s taking on too much, and you know damn well I’m right.” Then she added, “Sir.”
Vincent’s voice remained calm, which surprised me. I’d never heard any of the others give him lip before. “I’ve known Alec since I was fourteen, almost fifteen years now. I know better than anyone what he’s capable of accomplishing. Trust me on this.”
“But he—”
“No matter what anyone says, he’s not going to stop. The best thing we can do is watch his back.”
“I know, sir. I just… Why is he so hell-bent all of a sudden? And why is that girl here? Manuel said he’s never done something like this before.”
A pause. “I know you have history with him—” Vincent started.
“It’s not about that. Dean isn’t some little punk-ass gang. It’s going to take a hell of a lot to take him down. And we’ll have to get everyone who works with him, too. I just… I worry about everyone.”
“Alec will take care of all of us.”
“I’m not worried about myself.”
“I know, Zoe.” His voice sounded almost gentle, and maybe a little…sad.
Zoe sighed. “I’m sorry, sir. I know it’s not my place.”
“You can talk to me whenever you need to.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Footsteps in the grass. I stayed behind a tree until they were gone. I wasn’t sure what to make of the conversation, and especially what to make of Zoe. I’d known she was concerned about what was going on, but now I wasn’t so sure she was concerned for Alec in particular, at least not in the way I thought.
As soon as I was sure they were out of sight, I went back into the house. I had no patience for being outside, away from the phone. About an hour later, I was pacing the kitchen waiting for the phone to ring when Alec walked in. His shoulders were tense and his expression hard.
I tried for a casual tone, mildly curious, so as not to upset Hanna who was in the great room watching her “stories”. “Where’s Ben?”
Ben followed Alec through the door. “I told you not to be worryin’.”
Ben seemed fine. I turned my focus back to Alec.
He took my hand and led me out back. We walked along the tree line, out of Hanna’s earshot if she happened to come outside.
“Did Dean say anything useful?” I asked.
“He covers his ass too well, but Talbert appears to be involved in everything he does.” He sighed, jaw clenched. “I may need to force his hand.”
“What do you mean?”
“It would be unwise to go to Dean directly, but I may be able to force information out of Talbert. Even if he doesn’t give me enough, I may be able to use whatever he gives me to cause some mistrust between them, which may cause Dean to make a mistake that we can exploit.”
I stopped walking. “But won’t he come after you?”
“Not if Talbert doesn’t know who I am. I won’t show myself, but I am confident I can get him to talk.”
“Please be—”
He touched my lips with his fingers. “I promise.”