“I hope you understand,” Ben Ramirez said. “I have work after hours. I can’t work on this project with you.”
“It’s okay,” I said as my supposedly economics paper partner struggled to make excuses in front of me. “I’m sure you can find somebody else to work with.” Then he walked away.
I don’t need a term paper partner. I can do this alone. My professor suggested we work in twos. I picked Ben Ramirez’s name in the hat. He flinched when I read his name out loud, and he looked like he was shitting in his pants.
Wow! Do I smell bad? Look bad? He looked like he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.
I had been in the university for almost two months now, and I could say I had been better. A lot better!
“That’s the third one now, right?” said April Jones, a girl I had been hanging out with since the start of school. She’s a freshman too, and she had her locker beside mine, and so far, she was the only person I have spoken to regularly in school.
“I guess. Is something wrong with me?” I asked her.
“Nothing that I could see,” she replied. “I’ll see what I can find out.”
Not that I cared anyway. I had bigger problems than essay paper partners dumping me. Matters with my dysfunctional family were far more pressing, or should I say depressing.
Zachary went to the same university as a master’s student, but I barely saw him, both at school and at home. He’s out late and out early. In a two-story house with six bedrooms and four extra other rooms, I guess it was easy to hide from each other. Besides, he did say I should stay out of his way.
I didn’t know which was worse. Knowing he was gone or knowing he was just two doors away, but he was shutting me out—completely, because he didn’t want anything to do with me.
I was used to my parents disregarding me. But Zachary… he was my beacon, my hope, my solid rock. And watching him treat me like a fly on the wall was absolutely heartbreaking.
And that’s why I cried in bed every night.
Is he punishing me for going to bed with him?
He probably thought I was a complete slut, and he was making me regret every second I spent with him at that concert. I wish I did what I usually do with guys—ignore, doubt, alienate. Maybe we still had the chance to preserve our brother-and-sister relationship.
He doesn’t give a damn about me! Zachary hates me, loathes me, wants nothing to do with me. This was even beyond my imagination. I never thought this day would come between us.
This had been the center of my thoughts for months now. And each day, I was being proven right. Each day, my heart broke just a little bit more.
“It will be fun!” April said to me one Friday afternoon. “You gotta get out more. All you do is sulk, like you broke up with some guy and you find it impossible to get over him.”
Ha! She has the general idea!
That’s exactly how I was feeling. Fuck! Why do I feel like that? Zach is my brother! I’ve been with him for one night. That’s not enough to be devastated about our halted romance, is it?
“Come on! It will be fun. I’ll be with my girl cousins.”
For lack of anything else better to do that night, I said yes. Eight o’clock, April picked me up. She was with her cousins, Jenna and Mae, who were both juniors and majoring in information technology.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Jenna asked me.
I stared back at her. She didn’t even know me. “Ah, no.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. Then she looked back at April. April merely shrugged.
We arrived at the club. We were early so we were able to get a table. April’s cousins got us some cocktails. I drank. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted to let myself go. I was in the presence of girls anyway, so I was sure no one would take advantage of me. I just wanted to forget—about everything! And just right, I was drinking a cocktail called Amnesia.
By eleven, a group of guys approached our table. I recognized some of them from school. One of them was Drake Jones. Apparently, he was April’s cousin too. It must be fun to be part of a big family.
I was slowly feeling the effects of alcohol. That slow tingling feeling and that gentle creeping of numbness, accompanied by a feeling of boldness and the uncontrollable urge to laugh. I was staying close to April, just in case I would trip or fall over.
One of the guys introduced himself to me. His name was Andrew, and he was one of Drake’s friends.
He attempted to dance with me. April was with me, so it looked like we were dancing all together.
“You guys are late! You said you’re gonna be here at eight to save us a table,” April told Andrew in a scolding tone.
“We were here!” Andrew said, shouting over the music. “We were hanging upstairs with some of the guys. Then we saw you and thought you girls looked lonely.”
I looked up and saw a mezzanine floor that looked like a VIP area.
“We do not!” I said.
Andrew grinned at me. “Yeah, you do. Especially you!” he gave me a wink.
I rolled my eyes.
“You mostly keep to yourself. It was nice to see you out for a change!” he said to me.
“I got permission to leave the cave,” I said dryly.
He stared back at me for a moment then laughed. “What does it take to get you out of the cave again?”
“Another hundred years?”
“Come on! Anything shorter than that? Say seven days?”
“Impossible,” I said. “When my cave closes tonight, it will open one inch a day. Unless I turn Thumbelina next week, then I could probably come out again.”
He grinned at me. “Well… in that case, we better make the most out of it, right?”?
He was flirting with me. I simply smiled. I didn’t want to look for love interests just yet. I was still hurting from my last attempt.
But it seemed Andrew had a different thing in his mind. After the song, he followed me around, at the bar, to our table, or ono the dance floor. He was trying to be cute; I was trying to be nice. He was refilling my drink, hoping I would get drunk enough to flirt back with him.
By one in the morning, I was feeling just a little bit tipsy. I guess my alcohol tolerance was higher than I thought. Or maybe I tried to keep extra alert to make sure that Andrew didn’t get a chance to make a pass at me.
“Wanna dance?” he asked me.
April glared back at me, telepathically saying, He’s cute! He’s been trying all night. He’s nice. Throw him a bone!
I didn’t want to encourage him. But he was nice. I didn’t have to date him or give him my number. It was just one dance—over a fast number. There’s nothing wrong, right? Even if it didn’t feel quite right?
Before I could make a decision, somebody pull Andrew away from me.
“Outside, douche!”
I would recognize that voice anywhere. And suddenly, I’m no longer tipsy. Hearing him was more powerful than ten shots of caffeine.
“Hey, dude. What’s the…” Andrew began asking, but Zach put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him toward the exit.
“Hey, hey guys!” Drake said, his voice full of warning.
We watched as Zach dragged Andrew away.
“What’s that about?”
Drake shook his head and heaved a frustrated sigh. “Not this again! I warned him! Stupid!”
He started to go after them, but I stopped him. “I’ll go!”
“Chances are, Zach is beating the shit out of Andrew outside,” heh said to me.
“All the more reason for me to stop him! Don’t worry, I can handle Zach.”
I rushed toward the back exit. It led to the back alley. I heard voices on the left corner, and I dashed toward it. I found Zach holding Andrew against the wall.
“What’s your problem, man?”
“I warned you to stay away. You were asking for this!” Zach’s voice was low and serious.
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Really? You knew I was upstairs watching you the whole time!”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You were crossing the line!”
“Zachary!” I said, raising my voice.
The two guys stopped and turned to me.
“Zach, what the hell are you doing?”