Cold, lonely, waiting for the bus could be chalked down to horrible. Especially, at seven in the morning as a blizzard rolled in. Enough to put a damper on her already sunken mood.
The part that really got her, knowing her favourite black pickup truck wasn't coming. Grayson Holtz wasn't coming and he wouldn't ever again.
A crisp Alaskan wind gusted and she tucked her face into her parka, though she swore her nose had long since froze.
She didn't noticed as the bus came to a screeching halt beside her. Startled by its sudden appearance, she stared in at the driver, climbing into the rickety old thing after being given a dirty look.
She made her way to the back and sat. Looking around, she realized that there were no other seniors on the bus. Once again, alone.
She'd usually been decent at ignoring her problems and she did try most of the way there but once she was there and in the doors, Grayson was on her mind.
***
She'd yet to see him when the second period bell rang.
In fact, scanning the parking lot for the big monster truck, out in the freezing cold, lost its appeal and drove her inside all several attempts.
She slipped some books from her locker and rummaged for some change. Hoping she would find something so she could buy a chocolate bar or some junk food for comfort.
Slamming the locker shut, she walked to next class. It was Calculus and luckily, no one she'd had the pleasure of losing her virginity to, was in it.
Her text books she gripped close to her chest as she made her way through the halls, dodging groups of kids that were walking and chatting. Her shoulder knocked into a eighth grader, who was gushing on a jock. Rolling her eyes, she looked up to see Grayson at the end of the hall.
She stopped dead.
Turned away, he spoke with Mike who was standing in front of him. They were deep in conversation about something, maybe Darcy or Tribune or... She knew not to be thinking about them, but she couldn't help herself.
The will to move being lost, someone from behind collided with her, grumbling for to get out of the way. She tried to stabilize her small frame as her textbooks flew out of her arms and slapped against the deadening halls.
Her cheeks burnt as she scrambled to pick them up. With most of it spread across the floor, she collected the items on her hands and knees.
Her heart sped in her chest as she looked up, her eyes pulling to him like a magnet.
Their eyes locked.
The emotion catching in her throat, came on quick. She looked away and scooped up her books and ran to Calculus. Making quite the entrance, she stopped again, realizing it was grade ten art.
She stared at the blank faces as the bell rang. Her face caught fire as she swooped out of the class.
Once back in the hall, Grayson was gone, but Kyle was standing a few feet from her.
He smiled at her, “Hey, California.”
Chloe sighed, “Hey.”
He pointed, “We have Calculus. It's back this way.”
She turned, cringing at her stupidity.
Kyle trudged beside her, “How's it going?”
“Oh, come on,” she shot at him. “Don't play dumb.”
“Dumb?” he looked amused.
“Like you don't know what's going on,” she shot.
“I know Darcy is back and that he's taken Alpha from Roger.”
“I really don't want to talk about it!” she snapped and walked into the doors of class. They were greeted by the grumpy math teacher and took their seats quick without another word to each other.
***
She avoided any more conversation with Kyle, which left her to scurry out of Calculus and make a break for her locker. Starving, she had to buy something and made a note that it would likely be a lot easier to pack food – that way, she could avoid the cafeteria in the future.
Walking in the glass doors, she pulled her hood of her sweat shirt up to try and hide. Even if it useless, he could likely smell her and then pick her out in seconds because of it.
She headed for the line up, making sure to keep looking forward and keep focusing on the baking pizza pretzels which would be her destination once she got to the end of the line.
A five to eight minute line up, she pulled out her phone to try and busy herself from the busy chatter and grind of the cafeteria. She couldn't help, but look up though as Grayson took a seat next to pale-boy Mike.
She watched as he dug through his bag for his lunch. Pausing, almost like sonar, his eyes flew up and he stared at her.
She looked away in a frenzy and turned her back as the line moved up to the trays and food. She grabbed a juice and then waited to make her way down to the fresh pretzels.
It left her a few minutes to think about him. What they'd done and now, how she was just getting ignored like she didn't exist! If he was doing it for her, it wasn't working and if he was doing it for him, then he was a selfish dick.
She creased her brow and looked to him. Eating a sandwich and smiling at Kyle, it annoyed her.
“Large idiot.” She grabbed her pretzel and felt an overwhelming urge to not hide anymore and to lash out instead. Whether or not it was smart to do so at a wolf, could be up for debate, but Chloe had made up her mind.
She wanted to go with the lashing.
Paying for her food, she marched towards him. Her heart started to pound. Then she did a double take, her step faltering, as she remembered the girl she used to be.
Fierce Chloe Pryce. Take no crap Chloe Pryce.
Chloe Pryce before Grayson Holtz.
She sauntered and just as she got behind him, she reached her hand out and knocked him in the back of his head. Adrenaline surged and she held back the need to run.
With power-walking steps, she stopped in the hall.
Why had he done this?
Why had he taken all her innocence and left her?
Why!
Running to the girl's washroom, she locked herself in a cubicle and started to cry. She didn't care who heard her or what they thought, she was done. Done like dinner or breakfast and possibly regurgitated after all the doneness.
She stayed there, sitting on the toilet seat and eating her pretzel and juice till the bell rang. She had a spare block and she wasn't sure what to do, but sitting in the bathroom seemed pathetic.
Staring at herself in the mirror, she wondered whether hitting Grayson Holtz had made her feel better.
“No, you idiot,” she closed her eyes and could feel his hands on her bare chest as she moaned and arched against him. That memory, much too vivid.
Out of the bathroom, she stopped, her eyes falling on Grayson leaning against the near wall.
He stepped towards her, “Is there a reason you hit me?”
She scoffed and looked away.
“You're mad at me?”
She was thinking he must be stupid or thicker than a tree trunk, “No, I'm really fucking happy, Grayson. Can't you tell?”
He sighed, “I thought this would be easier.”
She creased her brow and stared him down, “You thought doing what you did to me and leaving would be easy!”
Grayson's face softened, “Chloe.”
“Don't look at me like that!”
“Why are you acting like this?” he breathed. “You should hate me right now.”
She couldn't deal with it and started to walk away from him.
He followed, “I'm trying to make this easier, for both of us.”
She rolled her eyes even though they were watering. He kept behind her and she tried to quicken her step.
“Chloe, what happened-”
She spun around, “Did it not affect you! How do you not seem to care? Do you even love me!”
“Yes!” he snapped, “But damn it, Chloe! What the heck do you expect me to do! I hurt you... And if it happens again, I may not stop.”
“Then turn me!” she shouted.
He slammed his hand against her mouth, “Chloe, shut up.”
Her palm twitched and she ripped his hand off and slapped the side of his face, “Screw you, Grayson!”
His nostrils flared, “Chloe.”
“Oh shut up.” she shot at him. “I hate you.”
“Good,” he snapped.
She wanted to kill him... no, she didn't want to kill him. She wanted him and it made her angry, so angry she was starting to well up with emotion. She slammed her palms to his chest and he stepped back, letting her hit him.
She started to cry, “I hate you. I hate you... I hate you!” She kept pushing and hitting till she just couldn't anymore. He caught her in his arms and wrapped himself around her, hushing her.
“I'm so sorry, Little.”
She cried more from his voice and nickname. To never have him again would be torturous. Her hands deepened a hold on his chest and she buried her face in him, smelling him. All musky goodness of him.
Nuzzling him, she felt desperate, but really, she didn't have much left. She felt crumpled and alone without him, it wasn't fair.
His hands gripped her shoulders and he kissed her cheek, “I have to go to class.”
She buried herself in him, “I don't want this to be it. I can't stop thinking about Saturday night.”
He sighed.
“That was literally the best night of my life and you just left me, Grayson.” She knew how broken and pathetic she sounded, but she was past caring.
“Chloe, I won't lie,” his lips were on her ear and he kissed her soft hair, “You're the only thing I want to live for.” He drew back though, “But this, is for your own safety. We can't be around each other anymore.”
Balling her fists to his dumb graphic shirt, she clung to him, “Don't do this, Grayson. Please.”
“Darcy's called a meeting tonight. He's making his position official,” his voice stern and direct all of a sudden, business-like.
Chloe whimpered, “It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“And what!” he shot, “Till I kill you. I'd rather not have you, than do that.” He stepped back, pulling her off him, “I'm sorry what I did to you. I'm sorry I ripped and tore you apart like that. I'm sorry you’re bruised and beaten, and that your neck is wrapped in a scarf right now to hide it all. I'm sorry Chloe, but you still have a chance to move on and you need to.”
“You didn't hurt me.” she sobbed, her hands attempting to catch her streaming tears.
“I did!” he exclaimed. “It should have never happened. I knew better. No, I know better.”
She took in a sharp breath, “Gray-”
“I'm sorry, but... I'm sorry,” he bowed his head to her and left.
It could have resembled jumping off a cliff, because her insides were gone and her heart had long stopped. Then she was sick, to her stomach.
Turning, she ran for the bathroom again.