Our actions always come from the heart, despite all our desires and thoughts.
Aurora’s POV
I still can't understand why I followed him or why I kissed him first. It was as if he drew me in like a magnet, despite all the times he'd offended me before. Can I convince myself it was just an accident? No...
There was so much pain and hatred in his eyes. It was an emotional explosion that I couldn't control. He was deeply unhappy, and my legs seemed to move on their own, carrying me to him. My hands wanted to touch him, and my lips reached out for him without permission. I felt like I'd missed a thousand heartbeats before the kiss.
Now my lips are burning. He looks at me like I've sunk to the lowest level. No, even below that. The dry grass beneath my feet looks appealing, and I don't dare lift my gaze to Alex. I feel like he's burning a hole through me, tearing my soul apart.
"What was that?" he roars.
I remain silent, backing away to lean against a tree. I press against it, seeking protection.
"Answer me," he takes a step closer, his shoes next to mine. "I know. You're already looking for money, right?" His voice belittles me, making me feel even lower. "Want to start your way to the ditch? Then disappointment awaits you." His whisper is tense, full of disgust, making me flinch. "You guessed wrong. I won't touch you with a finger."
Alex walks away. A moment later, I lift my head to see his back disappearing among the trees. He's gone, knowing I have nothing to say. And I can't even explain to myself why I did it. But I know one thing - he will destroy me.
***
Alex's POV
My legs carry me forward, step by step, tripping among the trees. I don't even notice my classmates I encounter. I grunt at everyone who tries to stop me, not controlling my emotions. Every heartbeat pushes me forward. At some point, I find myself under a high fence standing between the forest trees, with the highway beyond it and the academy behind.
I turn and lean against the gate, tilting my head back against the metal and closing my eyes.
She kissed me. That disgusting orphan. A walking misfortune.
The taste of her lilac is still in my mouth. I spit, feeling bitter and gross. It's like a fog in my head... it feels nice.
"Bitch..." I rasp. "Bitch!" I scream into the air.
Like some silly movie, birds fly away from the branches of trees, cawing mockingly.
The worst part is that I liked it. And that's not normal. That's it. Enough. We've arrived.
I wipe my mouth and cheek with my hand again, trying to erase her taste of spring. I want to destroy the smell of flowers beneath my nose.
I hate flowers. I hate her. I hate her so much. For what was pleasant. For her existence. I hate her with every fiber of my being. For every word. For her voice.
My heart doesn't stop. It pounds in my chest, breaking ribs. It pounds as if it has the right to live. No, to come alive. Who allowed it?
Who?
***
Aurora’s POV
For days after the weekend, his face was all I could see. It still infuriates me now, like it did just a moment ago when I ran into him in the hallway. My anger rises again as I take a deeper breath to get closer to his winter mint scent.
He's always sitting at the back of the auditorium, with his back to me. Sometimes I study him and wonder why I'm so drawn to him. The truth is, I'm ashamed. And disgusted. He disgusts me too, because I know I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have chased after him like a lovesick fool. Alex has Ella for that, and besides, he's got friends.
And to make matters worse, I had no right to pry into his family life. With no family of my own, looking into his silver eyes was like staring into a different world. I see the pain there, and I want to understand it. But I never had the right to ask those questions. His family relationships must be messed up - when your dad hits your mom, it's gotta leave a mark.
That's just rearranging the blame, though. It's none of my business. I hate him with all my heart, and that's how it should be after what happened.
When I bumped into him in the hallway today, rushing to meet David in the library, I was relieved he didn't even glance at me. I don't know how I'd have reacted if he'd looked at me with those eyes. He just kept walking, ignoring me like I was a ghost. Good riddance.
I was almost at the library when the director stopped me. "Hey, Aurora."
He freezes, and I smile, waiting for him to continue.
"Aren't you and Alex working on the fall ball?" he asks.
My heart skips a beat. The ball?
The director frowns at my expression. "You didn't know? The ball is our academy's first big event - we want it to go smoothly. It's part of the curriculum. Alex didn't tell you?"
"No, he did," I lie. Why did I just cover for him?
The director nods and walks off. I'm left seething, anger burning a hole inside me.
I rush into the library, tell David I need to run, and dash back out. Upstairs, I head to the prefects' room, but it's empty. Next, I look for Alex's room - as his assistant, I've got every right to be there.
I open the door to find Yaryov alone, shirtless, in just his uniform trousers. The shirt is on the bed, wardrobe doors open. His eyes flick to mine, and that crooked smile twists his lips. "You stalking me, Orphan?" he sneers, crossing his arms.
"No," I snap. "You never told me about the ball."
That smirk never falters. "I thought you came to discuss that little kiss."
I narrow my eyes at him, outrage simmering just below the surface.