Chapter Seven
The more Kate got to know Chase the more she understood why he was Jake’s best friend. Besides being damned good at everything—cooking, oral sex, shooting, fucking her senseless, making her come, did she mention cooking? And sex? Chase was also blessed with excellent organizational skills, which she admired as he whipped through cleaning up lunch. He also had a warped sense of humor that she enjoyed all day.
One needed a sense of humor to deal with Jake, especially since he’d pestered her with texts all day, wanting to know where she was, when could he give her birthday spankings, why wouldn’t she come to the club and get a special present from him? Jerk. She adored him, though.
But no way could Jake top the special presents she’d received from Chase. Orgasmic shower sex and shooting lessons. It didn’t get much better than that. He let her take a nap in the afternoon and woke her with a glass of iced tea and a smile that promised there’d be more sex later. Perfect, perfect man.
That evening Chase made them steak and potatoes for their birthday dinner, with a nice salad. He was just as proficient with a gas grill as in the kitchen, and Kate knew her full stomach would hate leaving him come Monday morning. All right, all of her would hate it. He even made them a birthday cake, chocolate, with homemade icing and two candles that they blew out together. Very sexy, romantic.
“Is this birthday better than your last?” she asked him over coffee, her cake finished.
“Let’s see,” he pondered as he tapped the fork against his lower lip. “I spent my birthday chasing this sweet girl up the eastern seaboard and then explaining to my bosses how I had single-handedly screwed up six months of work. So yeah, this is a hell of a lot better.”
Poor guy. “How long did you expect it to take to catch me?”
“Forty-eight hours.”
It was hard not to feel more than a little sorry for him, now that she knew him better. “Ouch. How bad did your ego hurt after a week?”
“Not as bad as it did after a month when I found out your father had you.” He put the fork down and leaned his arms on the breakfast bar. “How did you hide that long?”
“I’m not telling you. What if I need to hide again?”
“I’m hoping you won’t feel the need.”
She smiled slowly. “Not if you keep treating me like this. I feel badly, you waiting on me hand and foot.”
He rose, took their plates to the kitchen and then returned with more coffee. “You can repay me by inviting me to your home and playing hostess for a weekend. And if I want sex, maybe you’ll think about being a good hostess and put out.”
“The putting out part is easy. I don’t cook very well, but I make a mean mac and cheese from the box.” He grimaced and she laughed. “We had a chef. There was no need for me to learn. And you forget, I don’t have a home.”
“Then we’ll find you one. I made accommodations for you at the hotel down the street from the lab, starting Monday, so you’re not homeless.” He glanced at her, his expression guarded. “But if you want, you can stay here until you find something.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Staying here, with him…Emma was already a little in love with him. How long would it take her to convince Kate to follow?
“You seem like a pretty private person. I wouldn’t expect you to be comfortable with me staying here.” Which was different than living with him, she reminded herself sternly.
He shrugged. “Once Monday comes, my life will be owned again by the government, and if I surface for air long enough to breathe, never mind make love to you, we’ll both be lucky.”
“Don’t you take time off?”
“Never. I usually work weekends, too.”
God, his life sucked. “So this weekend…”
“Is my first vacation in years. Granted, they ordered it, but I’ll take it. I didn’t realize how stressed I was. I haven’t felt this relaxed in I can’t remember how long.”
If he was this busy and stressed as hell, were his employees overworked? She had no clue, but Jake was always going somewhere, doing something. He didn’t have time for a relationship of any sort, either.
Chase had a failed marriage. Did that mean she was doomed to a lonely, solitary life, getting laid on a Friday when she was home for a day? Now that she’d had a taste of sex, there was no way she was going back to masturbating. “Is that how my life will be?”
The look that he gave her was cryptic. “No.”
“What do you do?”
“Classified information.” That mask of his came down in full force, denying her any information.
“I don’t want you to leak spy secrets.” Honestly, he was so uptight sometimes. She understood the whole classified thing. Her work in the lab had classified all over it. “Just tell me what you can tell me. I have no clue.”
Chase relaxed a little and then shrugged. “I plan things. I make a lot of phone calls, I order people to do things, and then I make more phone calls to find out why the hell they didn’t do what I ordered. I read maps, read other reports; I listen to my agents, and then meet with military and civilian personnel and fill them in on all that I have learned.”
It couldn’t be all that bad, could it? It sounded…boring. “But Jake said you do some ops stuff. You were assigned to go to my father’s.”
“Very special occasions, they’ll send me. Like to your father’s.” He cupped his coffee mug in his hands. “Sometimes we go out into the field, and I do enjoy that, but it’s not the same as when I was just an agent. This is harder, tougher, and the stakes are higher because if you—my agents—don’t come home, it’s my ass.
“And when my day is done, I cart home more paperwork, more files, and if I can breathe when it’s all done, I run my prerequisite five miles on the treadmill and try to do some weights, because they expect me to be in shape, in case they need me.”
His life sucked, and Kate wondered how he stood it all. What kept him there? “I won’t complain when I have to go on a training dive next month, with Jake, in the Caribbean, then.”
“Please don’t.” He sent her a pained look over his coffee mug. “Because I loved diving. And jumping from planes and blowing things up.”
Her inner pyromaniac loved detonating things, too, which was how she became her father’s eager pupil. Maybe she and Chase could blow something up together. He probably had clearance to view her work in the lab. “Do you wish your life was different?”
“Yes. And no.” He sighed. “Like you said, it’s a lonely job. Sometimes the adrenaline rush is a constant high and that’s the part I love. I love that I’m helping my country. I love the control, the excitement. But the hours are hard. And this house is very empty when I come home.”
Kate knew lonely, and he looked a little lost, enough for her to say, “Would it make you happier if I stayed until I found a house of my own?”
He hesitated, and the flicker of emotion on his face made her catch her breath. For a moment, he almost looked…happy. “Yes. I’d like that.”
****
Sunday morning when Kate woke, Chase was still in bed with her, sound asleep, his arm heavy across her chest, one of his legs thrown over hers. It was intimate and yet cozy, something she never expected of him.
For as emotionless as he seemed at times he seemed to crave touching her, even in his sleep, and she fought to quell the gentle squeeze that tightened around her heart. So dark and dangerous on the outside, but she was beginning to see that inside he was just as achingly lonely as she was. Vulnerable in some ways. She glanced at the clock—eight and he was still in bed.
Time for the Lord of the Spies to rise and shine in the way he was most proficient—making her come. She kissed him slowly, brushing his lips with hers, gently licking the seam of his mouth to tempt him awake. He responded on a moan and then woke fully, much quicker than she expected.
He smiled, bright-eyed, looking ready to leap from the bed. “Ready to run?”
“Uh, no.” She let her fingers walk down his chest to his thigh. “I had other plans.”
He stopped her travels, his hand gripping hers. “Your boss will be angry with me if you don’t do something this weekend. You had yesterday off, and you know it will only hurt twice as bad tomorrow if you don’t do something today.”
She rolled her eyes. “Bastard.”
He slipped from the bed with a grin. “Not egotistical bastard?”
“No. Not right now.” He was right, damn him, so she rose and they dressed.
Working out with Chase was much different than running with Jake. With Jake, she spent the whole time dodging his hands, sneak attacks, fighting the entire time to keep from falling over because he was relentless when it came to making her life miserable.
Chase just pushed her to run faster, harder, and damned if she didn’t hate him just as much at the end of his five miles. He didn’t lope along, he ran like he was possessed, and he expected her to keep up. At the end, she placed her hands on her thighs and heaved for breath. He stood over her, his breathing as heavy as he’d jogged a slow mile, looking only mildly put out.
“Jake’s slacking. He’s not running you hard enough.”
She stuck her tongue out at him then stole his baseball cap and ran away behind a tree. He dashed forward in hot pursuit, and she shrieked, sprinting, and damned if she wasn’t faster, dodging in and out of the trees, her smaller form quicker. He made a mad leap and took her down, and she held the hat over her head as he kissed her, hungrily.
“There are laws against this,” she said against his cheek as he nuzzled her ear.
“I’ll do the time.” But he stood and helped her up, and they walked home, hand in hand, his hat on her head.
When they reached the house Chase made her a smoothie, which was something she didn’t feel a man should know how to make, but it was delicious.
Then he insisted they lift weights and swim. The man could lift an elephant, and suddenly Jake didn’t look quite so mean or ornery as a workout partner. By swim, he didn’t mean tool around the pool, either. He did hardcore laps freestyle, his form perfect, his muscles firm as he cut through the water.
When she thought she was going to drown from exhaustion, he finally stopped, pulling himself out of the pool to sit on the edge.
Kate treaded water at the edge and stared up at him with awe. Now she knew why he was the boss. “It’s no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. There isn’t a woman alive who can keep up with you.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend because I don’t want one.” He rubbed the towel on his hair. “And once I start sending you out, you won’t want a boyfriend, either. You’ll get it.”
“Thanks for that.” She wanted to be his girlfriend something fierce, but she was beginning to see things from his point of view. Definitely smart not to fall for him.
“You’re welcome.” He extended a hand and helped her out. “Do you want to know what I have in store next?”
She groaned and took the towel he offered. Wasn’t he tired? Just a little tired? And a part of her remembered his comment about getting her into better shape for seduction. Maybe he’d been easy on her in bed. The man worked, ran, and swam like he was possessed. Would sex with him become just as intense? “No. No more.”
He laughed. “You get to eat lunch. I’ll even let you have more cake, because you’ve worked very hard.”
That was the only thing good about this job. She didn’t have to count calories any longer. They sucked every bit of energy from her bones. If anything, now she was too thin. “And then?”
“We’re going to spend the afternoon in bed.” He kissed her gently. “Since you kept up with me when no girlfriend could, you deserve two orgasms.”
She blinked in surprise. Had she really pleased him with her efforts? Her heart swelled, and suddenly she felt like she’d gained the best workout partner ever. Screw Jake. She’d rather have Chase’s approval and reward. And the reward he offered would be sinful. But she didn’t want to sound too eager… “Only two? I worked pretty damned hard.”
“You could have had three, but you took my hat.” He kissed her again, took her hand, and they went into the kitchen.
****
“So, teach me how to seduce a man.”
Those quiet words spoken by Kate Sunday night made Chase break out into a cold sweat. She sat in front of him on the coffee table as he sprawled on the couch. Her expression told him she was eager for knowledge and probably just as eager to please him. She brushed a piece of blonde hair back behind her ear, her hair swept from her face in a ponytail.
She looked so young and…not innocent because he’d opened her eyes to a lot this weekend. But she didn’t have a clue, and it scared the shit out of him. Her softness, her kindness…way too much Emma still. He loved her too much to kill that part of her.
Fuck, he hated his job. He didn’t want her seducing anyone but him, but he knew this damned job, and eventually, she wouldn’t be only his. Not if she wanted to live. He swallowed, the space between the rock and the hard place he was wedged in growing smaller and smaller by the second.
He wanted her to live more than he wanted her to be only his, so he said, “Men are easy. Just strip, make it last a bit longer than when you usually undress. Maybe touch yourself a bit, and he’s ready.”
“That’s it?”
She looked so doubtful he had to laugh. “I’m a guy; I should know what it takes.”
They were in the living room, getting ready for the nightly movie. He rested his stocking feet on the far arm of the sofa, arms behind his head as he stretched out, watching her face change with emotion. She was beautiful, and the way he could almost see the wheels turn behind her eyes excited him.
“Men like to be undressed, too. You could start there. If you decide to fondle or kiss anything that pops up, we’re even happier.”
“If I have to seduce someone, a target, if I make him come first, I won’t necessarily have to…”
“Fuck him?” God, he hoped not.
She swallowed and looked a little unsure, so sweet, and so very sexy. “I suppose I should get used to talking dirty, so yes, fuck him.”
“It would depend. Some are ready immediately, some aren’t.” Chase was so ready, his cock already hard, wanting her attention.
“So I seduce him, make him come, and hope like hell I don’t have to do more? Maybe I get to kill him, and then I don’t have to worry.” She bit her lip again. “Wait, that’s not right, wanting to kill a man so I don’t have to have sex with him. I don’t think I make a very good spy.”
“The killing becomes easier as you go along.” He hated seeing her blue eyes grow dark, so conflicted. If she weren’t stuck in this job by default, he’d spirit her away to somewhere safe, because she really wasn’t cut from the spy mold. “If you kill someone, it’s most likely because they would have killed you first, if that makes you feel better.”
“Let’s get back to the seduction lesson.” She rose and straddled his hips. His breathing increased as she ran a hand along his T-shirt, smoothing the wrinkles, her fingers hot thorough the material. “Just touching you, like this, makes me wet,” she whispered. “Your body is so beautiful.”
“I’m not beautiful. I’m a man.”
“Oh, but if you only knew…” She lifted the hem of his shirt and planted a hot kiss on his stomach. He jumped just a little at her touch. “Am I tickling you?”
“No.” It took every ounce of his control to not toss her to the floor and take her right then.
She ran her tongue along the narrow trail of hair that ran from his navel to below the waistband of his pants. “I like it when you lick me. Do you like it?”
“God, yes.”
“How about if I did this?” She lifted the shirt higher and sucked his left nipple. He drew in a sharp breath. Oh yeah, he liked it. A lot.
“Or this?” She rolled the nipple between her thumb and forefinger, then released and sucked harder.
“Jesus, yes.”
“Shirt off?”
Chase lifted his arms, and she pulled his shirt over his head. He was more than used to women appreciating him, and he took it in stride. Found it boring on occasion. But the way she devoured him with her wide blue eyes made him believe she saw more than the pretty face and the hard body. She definitely didn’t want him for his money, like his ex had. Kate’s fortune was worth ten of his.
God-fucking-damn, his luck had finally turned, and he was screwed. He sat up to kiss her, needing to feel her lips, her tongue. Desperate to hold her.
She put a finger on his bare chest and pushed him flat on his back. “I’m not done.”
“Then finish, so you can make love to me,” he whispered, and then realized he’d said the wrong thing. Men wanted to be fucked. Not made love to. But that wasn’t what he wanted. Not one bit.
“I guess I’m doing a good job?”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
And then she surprised the hell out of him by hopping off, then swinging her leg around so he now looked at her ass in her jogging shorts, and she faced his cock. “Maybe not being able to see the attack will heighten your arousal.”
Hell, yes. “Maybe.” He wanted to lift her hips and plant her pussy on his face, but he sat still and let her continue at her own pace. She was seducing him, after all. It wasn’t usual for him to sit back and wait, but he found it quite enjoyable.
She popped the button on his jeans, the zipper louder than usual in his ears. He was so hard, his cock eager to bust out, but she never once touched him. Instead, she leaned forward, her breasts rubbing his groin, her hands smoothing his jeans from the knee to the inner thigh, to his seam, and then back down, her fingers kneading the muscles in a massage-like motion. Those muscles relaxed, but his balls tightened as he enjoyed her caress.
She said, “Your pants look very uncomfortable.”
“Oh, they are.”
“Would you like to take them off?”
“Yes, please.”
“So polite.” She raised off him slightly, allowing him to lift his hips so his jeans could slide down his thighs. Then she did the same to his briefs. His cock bobbed free, eager to be out in the world. “Is that better?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“So obedient.” She leaned forward again, bracing her arms on his thighs, and his cock nestled between her breasts. It was so damned hot he almost came right there. Her mouth kissed his inner thigh, then slid upward, along his surgery scar. She inched backward on his chest, and he could feel the heat through the crotch of her shorts, her pussy so ready for him.
He lifted a hand to touch her thigh and hopefully slide his fingers into her panties, but she slapped him. “No touching.”
He wasn’t one who usually liked to be dominated, but oh man, her commanding tone left him weak at the knees.
Then something wet and hot encased the tip of his cock, and he grabbed the edge of the couch and silently recited stats from work to keep from coming in her mouth. She sucked the head in, her tongue tentatively exploring the tip, sliding around the crown.
How quickly she learned what he liked, considering yesterday was the first time she’d ever done this. But she already knew exactly how hard to squeeze the base of his shaft and how to press her thumb just so right below his balls. She deep throated him and increased the suction as she let him slide out, her mouth a lethal weapon. He jammed his heels into the arm of the sofa and grit his teeth, the stats no longer working.
“Enough.”
“Why?” She looked at him over her shoulder, her blue eyes full of lust. Then doubt and pain flickered in her eyes, and she went from the seductress Kate to innocent, soft Emma. “I did something wrong, didn’t I?”
“Oh God, Emma, no. No. I was going to come in your mouth, and I didn’t want to.”
“What did you just call me?”
He blinked and tried to clear the haze of impending orgasm. “Kate?”
“You called me Emma.”
Oh, shit, he had.
He hated how the innocence disappeared, and her face hardened, her eyes distrustful. She climbed off his lap and sat on the coffee table. “You had no problem coming in my mouth yesterday.”
“I wanted to make it last.”
“The objective of the lesson was to make you come so I didn’t have to fuck you. I failed.”
Suddenly, Chase didn’t want to be her boss—or her a spy—he wanted to just be her boyfriend. Her lover. “You would have succeeded, right then and there. Trust me.”
She glanced at his cock, now softening slightly, and then away, her hands tucked between her thighs. “I know you were ordered to seduce me. I know you have to do this, and I imagine it’s probably the nicest part of your job.” She sucked in a breath. “I need to know the truth, though, and I’m sorry, I can’t trust you. You’re trained to lie, to deceive, and you’re too good at it. Too good at everything. But I have to know if Alex was ordered to fuck Emma.”
“I explained before—”
“I know what you said before. I want the truth, now. I don’t believe you.”
“No.” He swallowed, not understanding why she needed to know this. But it was important to her, and the answer wouldn’t make her the least bit happy. “You were there, in my room, and even though I watered down my drinks, I’d had too much vodka. I’m a lightweight. I don’t drink, because I don’t like the way it makes me feel. Some people love losing control, but I don’t.
“And you were so beautiful. So innocent, your robe tight around your neck. Just thinking of how you looked in my room that night makes me hard.” He glanced down at his cock, hoping she followed his glance so she saw him stiffening.
“I won’t lie. I knew everything about you—Emma—because that’s my job. On paper, you’re so brilliant, so scary smart as Jake would say, and my orders were to not engage you if possible. But in person, you were just beautiful, soft, innocent, and I was drawn like a moth to a flame. Because the women I’ve fucked, there was nothing sweet or soft about them.”
Obviously, the truth wasn’t satisfying her because her glare didn’t lessen. “Fucked?” she repeated.
“I don’t date, Kate.” And he left it at that. She could fill in the blanks on her own. She worked with Jake. She knew enough. As bad as he wanted to do the relationship thing with her, it just wasn’t possible. “I don’t date. I don’t do relationships. Of any sort.”
She paled just a little and glanced at her hands. “I get it,” she said softly, and those words tore at his heart. “But I don’t understand why you were interested in fucking me. I wasn’t beautiful then. I am now, though. Now, I understand the attraction. Then, I don’t.”
He shrugged and wanted to tell her then and there that he loved her, but he couldn’t. That her brain made him want to come buckets full. That there was something about her that made dark and dangerous him go weak, soft, and want to do things like make love and hold her afterward. Sex with his wife had been a chore, and sex at the club had been a mission. Sex with Kate…she was an answer to his prayers, and he didn’t believe in God. But there was too much at stake, and she’d never believe him.
She lifted her gaze to stare at him in that frozen way of hers, and he knew the face she was seeing wasn’t the least bit kind or gentle. He found himself at a crossroads of sorts. He could ease her fears or destroy her now, instead of later. Neither choice was desirable.
Her breath hitched, as if she realized something. “My father paid you to make love to me, didn’t he? Just tell me the truth, Chase. Please.”
“No.” Jesus, did she really think that poorly of herself? If he could go back in time and choose between the two, he would chose Emma, hands down. Not that he didn’t love her as Kate—he did. But a part of him mourned what had become of her true self. “No one paid me to do anything. You are fucking hot now. But on my mother’s grave, I swear to you, you were beautiful to me as Emma.”
She looked away, unsure, and then her glare returned. “If you weren’t ordered to make love to me this weekend, would you have?” She didn’t believe him, probably because she assumed he was as shallow as he was attractive.
He swallowed again, not wanting to tell the truth. He had to, though. It was time for her to see the boss side of him. The man who would send her away to do God knows what with a madman. “No. We would never have made love. Ever. I would have been your boss, and you would have been my spy. Period.”
She stiffened and he hastily added, “Not for the reasons you think. This isn’t about you, not one iota. You are so damned attractive to me. The entire package. But this heavenly weekend of sex with you means our work life is going to be hell from here on out. I would have avoided that at all costs, but it was taken out of my hands. You don’t understand what kind of man I am, Kate. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“You’re sorry for what? Fucking me?”
“I’m sorry for being the man you’ll learn to hate.” She opened her mouth, and he shook his head. “You will hate me. I’ll send you to hell and back, make you do horrible things, and though the safety of America is worth it to me, I’m not so sure it’s worth it to you. I hate my job for taking someone I saw as so pure and beautiful, and turning her into a fucking hot, killing machine.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, looking tough, mulish. “I don’t regret it one bit. I’m happier now than I ever was in my life, Chase. I’m trapped, sure, but at least there’s some say. At least I know the rules up front.
“With my father, there were no rules. I was smart in the lab, but he found fault with every other aspect of my life and was mentally abusive. He was crazy, delusional, and it would have been a matter of time before he turned on me. He tried to sell my virginity to you, so what else would he have done? I don’t regret Alex kissing me, taking me to third base. And I don’t regret Chase being my first. I don’t regret becoming a fucking hot, killing machine. I feel free.”
“You’re still going to hate me.” He felt as if he were drowning, and she was standing on shore with a life preserver and he couldn’t ask for it, not even to save his life.
“Maybe. But isn’t there the possibility that we might end up loving each other? We have something special. I feel it. I know you do. Our lives don’t have to be hell.”
Chase sighed, closed his eyes for a second, and kissed Lady Luck goodbye forever. “Don’t go there, Kate. Please.”
Kate squared her shoulders, and Chase held up a finger. He wanted to tell her the truth, that he already loved her, to let her love him in return. The part of him that was the boss knew what was in store for her. He would destroy her eventually. He couldn’t live with himself if she loved him.
He steeled his heart and said, “You cannot fall in love with me. Don’t. If you feel that coming on, then kill it hard and fast. And run. Love doesn’t work for spies. I did that, once. It ended miserably. And I’m telling you, you will hate me.”
She looked so sad, lost, and he hated twisting the knife when he’d already stabbed her with it. But it was the kindest thing he could do at this point. Better she go back to thinking he was the devil. The egotistical bastard she hated. She needed to move on, fast, so if she lived, she could have a somewhat normal life, with a man who wouldn’t have to crush her.
She swallowed. “Are you telling me this as my boss?”
“I’m telling you this as Chase. Me. Just don’t, Kate. Please, just hate me a little now, so it’s easier on you later, when I destroy you.”