Chapter 21
Shane’s mind was mush, like a never-ending hangover.
Guilt. Fear. Regret. Shame.
Nara had been here in his prison many times to teach him, or was it Calise? No matter, because he didn’t deserve either of them. How long had he been here? Hours? Days?
He felt like a battering ram had split open his skull, removed any remaining shards of decency, and left him an empty shell. He wanted to be erased from existence.
He let out a sigh of impatience for his impending fate. Father would erase his pathetic excuse for a soul in a few short months. As the last of the heroin left his system, his stomach churned and chills overtook him. His keeper was merciful in allowing his feet to remain on the floor even while his wrists were held by shackles screwed into the moist, dark stone of the wall. His abused manhood was covered with a dirty rag tied around his waist.
He was in a dungeon. Most of the shackles and chains in the room seemed too small to wrap around his wrists or ankles. Blood pooled on the floor around the woman who was quietly sobbing nearby. Her wrists were being rubbed raw by the tight handcuffs. He vaguely recalled the feats of submission he was asked to perform.
Even through the haze of the drugs, Shane flinched remembering the humiliation and degradation Nara used to puncture his psyche. He abhorred his flat, dimensionless self. She had wounded him, deeply—maybe destroyed his will entirely.
Dried blood and chunks of hair were scattered amidst fragments of rags strewn haphazardly on the floor. A repetitive dripping sound came from one corner where water leaked from the ceiling. A small assortment of rods and sticks and horse whips lay near the door, some of which Nara had employed in her time with them.
Shane had fully submitted to Nara’s will. The easy way out, but he didn’t care. Only whispers of memories from college days hovered on the periphery of his mind. Memories faded like fog on a mirror, and he welcomed their retreat to the furthest recesses of his mind. But love and pain had a life force of its own and wanted to stay put like a stubborn, heavy dresser that refused to budge.
The woman spoke first. “What happened to you, Shane?”
He cocked his head at her, wondering why she was addressing him like an old friend. “What are you talking about?”
The woman shifted in her cuffs, wincing. “I’m Liza. Liza Rowe. I’m Dean’s wife and Calise’s sister-in-law, but I don’t think Nara knows about our connection. You were at my house a few years ago at Easter.”
He squinted through the haze in his mind, knowing this was one of many memories he should be burying. He let it surface and remembered reprimanding the demon and lecturing her on how to live a better life and rise or face his wrath.
Some angelic wrath he was dealing out now.
He looked down at himself, embarrassed. Thinking about his former self was like watching a show where he was the star, but he couldn’t remember playing the part or saying the lines. He watched the memories of his life with Calise and his life as an angel from the outside looking in.
“I remember,” he whispered. “Isn’t it obvious? I fell. Is that what you wanted to know? Are you happy now? Smug at where I’ve ended up?”
Liza shook her head. “No, I pity you. I pity the strength and fortitude that you lost. I pity that you lost your first love. But mostly, I pity that Nara wants you to love her. Their family…” She shuttered and closed her eyes, letting the tears run freely down her dirty face. “Nara’s family is…is it true that Abaddon is incapacitated?…and Nara’s in charge?”
Shane shrugged and looked away.
“Ronwe dead? How? Abaddon hurt? Nara at the helm? This is terrible news, for all of us. She’s the worst one in the family.” Her eyes widened in fear.
His family. A family he was desperately trying not to care about. He had to ask. “Terrible news for all of us? What do you mean? What is this place anyway, and why in the hell are you here?”
“You’re in a Russian orphanage. Abaddon runs several of them and calls in demons who owe him favors to run them. That’s why I’m here. I owed him a favor for funding law school and supporting me. My debt was called in, and I left Dean and my son, Max. I…I miss them. The orphans here are all angel babies like that one she showed you.” Liza’s voice became so intense and low that he strained to listen and keep up. “We’re instructed to deny them basic needs to destroy their youth. This place is killing me. All I can think about is Dean and Max. Nara will kill them if I don’t comply with her every command. Word was leaked that I’ve been too nice to the kids. For example, this dungeon is meant for the children, and regrettably, this is the first time I’ve been down here. Shit, I can’t believe she came here to discipline me herself.”
He stared at Liza, processing the information. “Maybe she’s looking for a kindly fiend to help rear our baby.”
“She’s pregnant?”
“So she says. That baby she brought down here…do you remember when it was brought here?”
Liza nodded. “Abaddon had it sent from the San Jose airport.”
He slumped. “I kidnapped that baby for Abaddon. That’s how I fell. You mean to tell me that child isn’t back with Father? That child is here, and you are abusing it?”
Liza nodded feebly again.
Shane straightened up. “I have to get out of here and take that child with me.”
The door to the dungeon swung open, and Nara glared at Shane. “Oh no, baby, you most certainly do not.”
****
Nara turned sideways in the door and rubbed her belly. “I thought you wanted to see your own baby and raise it with me, lover.”
A wave of nausea overwhelmed Shane, and he retched.
Nara approached, then gingerly wiped his mouth dry. She kissed him hard on the lips, licking the remnants of his vomit. “Everything that comes out of you tastes good, lover. So, which is it? Do you want to try and run away or stay and with me and raise our child?”
Shane watched Liza as she cowered in the corner, trying to be invisible.
With Nara carrying his unborn child, he would do anything in the world to protect the baby. Even if that meant leaving this orphanage with only Nara.
He hung his head. “You and our child are the most important things in the world to me. Whatever is your desire, I will do it.”
Liza shot him a furtive glance. He was not strong enough to fight Nara and his fleeting thoughts of heroism and hope waned.
Nara unlocked his wrists and ankles.
Just as Shane was massaging his bruised and aching wrists, Nara fell to the ground and let out a moan as she grabbed her stomach. He rushed to her side and brushed her hair back to see the pain in her eyes. “What is it?”
“The baby…” Nara moaned and swallowed hard. “Call a doctor.”
Shane glanced at Liza, grabbed the keys that were used to unlock him, and moments later Shane and Liza carried Nara upstairs.
He would not let her lose his baby.