CALIFF
“Hey. Where have you been?” I held her hand as she leaned down to kiss me.
Most of our enforcers came to join me for breakfast, which was a fantastic morning.
“I was with Zarah and Kain.” She took a seat to my left and rubbed Kindra’s growing baby bump. “How’re the babies?”
“Healthy, and they make me eat a lot.” Kindra’s reply made me smile.
“I can’t wait for this Saturday. I will help prepare the picnic.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Kindra smiled shyly.
“You have the whole pack you help you, Kindra, and I don’t take no for an answer.”
“Thank you. And I invited Calder and Everlee.”
“The more, the merrier.” Shadow squeezed her hand. “Don’t stress it out. Show us what you like, and we will make it possible.”
After breakfast, Shadow went up while I checked the progress of the house. When I got back into our room, she was staring at the dirt on the sheet, which I didn’t even notice was there.
“I sleepwalked, and I don’t remember how it happened.”
“Are you sure?” I came to her.
She turned to me. “Yes. When I woke up, my feet were muddy. I went to Zarah, but she didn’t sense anything, or at least, that was what she told me.”
“Do you think she didn’t tell you the whole truth?” I worried about her.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged and sat down on the bed, her shoulders sagging.
“Hey.” I bent my knees and held her hands. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”
“I also talked to Kain. Apparently, Zarah heard of an old story of purification in the full moon. Kain said it hurts worse than the first shift experience, and the reason why he didn’t tell me he said that I might not survive the process.”
I was quick on my feet, pacing. I didn’t like the idea at all. It would hurt her human body, but I knew Shadow. She wouldn’t stop until she did everything to get her wolf back.
“I know it’s not ideal, but I have to try this one.”
“He was right. You might not survive it. You’re body is—”
“Fragile? Do you think I don’t know that?” Her gaze pierced against mine. “I know I don’t have the strength, and I don’t heal fast like you. I’m not strong, Califf. I know that, but if this is the only way to get my wolf back, I have to try this.”
I felt like I was in that moment again, where I watched her suffer in unbearable pain. “I want to support you. I really do, but it can kill you, baby. And I can’t let you go through that. I’ve watched you twice in a coma, and I can’t—” I drew a deep breath when my emotions became heavy. “I don’t think I would survive the third time.”
“Well, it’s good that I make my own decision, Califf.”
“I’m still your husband and your Alpha.” My nose flared. The muscle in my jaw worked.
She snorted. “Of course, it all goes down to your authority.”
“There must be another way.” My voice lowered, my tone softening. I stepped close to her, but she shot me a disgusting look.
“If there’s another way, don’t you think, I wouldn’t have found it out. Either you’re with me on this or back off. I mean it, Califf.” That was it. She dashed out of the room.
At the office, I dialed Sebastien.
“I need your help convincing Shadow not to go through the purification. I don’t know what that is, but she’s willing to put herself in so much pain to get her wolf back.”
“I know how it works, but there’s no guarantee it’s a success. That’s why no one has tried it in hundreds of years.”
“Then do something. Help me stop her, Alpha King. I want her to get her wolf back.” I huffed a ragged breath. “Goddess, If I could switch places with her, I already did. I want her to get what she lost, but not this way that I might end up losing her, too.”
Sebastien sighed. “She’s here listening.”
Shit.
“Stop me, or you won’t see me again.”
Fuck.
***
Shadow did not come home. I waited until I fell asleep. Her father texted me that his daughter would spend a night in Italy. I wanted to go and apologize, but I doubted if Zarah would portal me.
I got up and went for a run. It had been a while since my last run in peace. The scent of the morning breeze clung thick in the air. The cold, muddy, wet ground was soft under my bare paws. Beats of moisture gathered over the grass, dampening my fur.
I reached the cliff and realized I wasn’t alone anymore. My heart pumped so hard that she might not know what she was doing. She could be sleepwalking, and with one wrong move, she could fall.
I shifted back, and then she turned her head. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same thing. It’s late, baby. I thought you spent the night with your father.”
She drew a deep breath and got up. I helped her get off the rock. We sat there for a while in silence. It was peaceful. The half-moon reflected on the water.
“I will help you.”
Her head snapped at me. “Why?”
“I can’t lose you.” My words came out heavy and gloomy but sincere. I hoped she knew that.
“When I was with father, I realized something. Maybe there’s a good reason why my wolf is gone. I don’t know what it is yet, but I will eventually find out. So, I came here to meditate and appreciate the things around me instead of disregarding the beautiful gifts this world can offer. I don’t want to get my hopes up, so I don’t wanna go through that purification anymore. I know if Moon Goddess wants my wolf back, she will give it to me. If not, I’m okay with it.”
I cupped her face and looked at her in the eye. “If you want it, I’m with you. If that makes you complete, I will support you, but I want you to know that you’re perfect the way you are, with or without a gift and a wolf. My love for you and my feelings for you will never change. In fact, I love you more each day, Shadow.”
She nodded and smiled. “I love you, Califf.” She pressed her lips against mine and then hugged me tight. “I’m sorry if I walked out on you this morning.”
“I’m used to it by now.”
She shook to laugh and hit me playfully on my arm. “I didn’t do that often, Alphasshole.”
“Oh, you do.” I smiled wickedly.
“Now, shift. Your ass is disturbing enough.” Her giggle made my heart skip.
“Okay, Luna. Now let’s go, hop on my back.” I shifted to my wolf and sat down so she could climb on my back.
“No way. I’m heavy, and I’m not doing that.”
I growled, raised my tail high, and narrowed my eyes.
“This is ridiculous.” She shook her head but climbed on my back. She held tight around my neck as I stomped and ran towards the woods.
“Oh, my God! Can you slow down?” She shrieked. I could hear her heart beating so fast.
No, I was not slowing down. I wanted her to feel what it was like to be free.
I couldn’t help but whine as I jumped over the log as she had fun, and later on, she let her hand go around my neck and raised it in the air.
It was levitating and my first time to have her on my back, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Once we reached the tree where I stuffed my clothes, I sat down so she could jump down. Instead of getting pissed, she rolled down the wild grass laughing out loud.
“You’re so fun, big guy.” She got up, petting me, scratching the back of my ears, and then lay back down, giggling.
I was already in my two-legged form as I looked down at her. I put on my sweatpants and joined her laughing.
“That was fun.” Her face was flushed as she continued laughing so hard. “And I love your wolf.”
“You think I couldn’t carry you?” I sat next to her.
“I have no doubt, Alpha. You’re big and strong. It actually feels good. I feel secure, maybe because I trust you. I also feel free.” She leaned into me. “And wolfy, I may not say it out loud, but I love you.”
“I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”
“Does your wolf have a name?”
“No.”
“What? Why not?”
“He’s a pain in the ass to get his own name.”
“I’ll get to call him Midnight.”
My wolf just growled, liking his new name. “No fucking way.”