I feel my face whiten, unable to move my lips or even move at all. My mind is flooded with questions. How did he find out? Did Julian tell him? Or did he see us together? What does he think of me now?
“Goddammit, Anya!” He rubs his face. Exasperated tears well up in his eyes. “Really? Julian? “Why him of all people?”
“P-Please, Kris, calm down. I’ll explain.”
I understand how important this is to him. I’ve known it since the beginning. Kristoff looked up at Julian. He’s like a brother to him, someone he can rely on. But Julian and I went too far. It’s unfair that we kept it from Kristoff, but we didn’t do anything wrong. We were simply being cautious.
I have to tell him. It should be done now, without hesitation. I’ll try to persuade him of my connection to Julian—everything from the beginning. We met before Whitlock, how I was chosen for the scholarship, how we met again, and how Julian has said he has liked me ever since, and we agree.
But how exactly? I’m not sure where to begin. I have an hour before I have to meet with Mr. Pitch. “That’s your response? You never even denied it.”
No. I need to resolve this right away before things worsen. “I won’t. Let’s not talk about it, Kristoff. Let’s go somewhere, please.”
He shakes his head. “What kind of nonsense are you going to tell me? This is not cheating, but it is disloyalty. Anya, I thought we were friends.”
“Please, we are,” I scream, practically begging. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d act this way.”
“You know what, hearing it from you might have been preferable to find out this way. Is it going to end the world if you tell me? This isn’t just about you and me. For God’s sake, this is Julian!”
“I know, you’re right. But there’s a party going on, and people who know you might see us like this. So, please calm down and talk about it somewhere else. I’m going to tell you everything.”
“Or perhaps you don’t want Julian to find us this way. Is that what you meant? I don’t care about them!” He points his finger at the building. “I came here to confirm, and I was right the whole time.”
“Do you know?”
“I’m not blind, Anya, and I’m not stupid. You’re not very good at hiding it.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. Is this why you’ve come here? Are you going to play the girlfriend at Julian’s party?”
“It’s not like that,” I whisper, my voice shaking.
“Do whatever you want, Anya, but I won’t be there if something goes wrong. I’m done,” he says, dismissing me.
“No, no. This does not have to be the case. I didn’t mean to betray you this way, Kristoff, but I love him. I can’t help myself.”
His brow furrows. “Seriously?”
“I’m not doing this, Anya. This is different. And I apologize if I’m not as forgiving as you.”
Kristoff turns around and marches to the road. I trust he won’t tell anyone, but I’ve hurt him too. I have to tell Julian.
I pull my phone from my pocket and open my call log, but tears obscure my vision. I can’t see clearly.
A woman screams, and a screeching sound pierces my ears. My heartbeat quickens. The world around me abruptly comes to a halt.
Someone shoves aside and runs toward what appears to be a commotion. Cars are honking and shouting all over the place. My vision is clearer now, and I see Kristoff’s body lying in the middle of the road. He was hit by a car.
Dread, ache, and confusion all slither through me at the same time. I close my mouth and cry, but no sound comes out.
I dash toward him instinctively. People are crowding around him, someone is calling 911, and traffic is being rerouted.
I slump next to him and reach out to touch him, but I’m afraid. This is entirely my fault.
“Kristoff… I’m so sorry.”
“Anya,” he responds with a groan. His eyes clenched shut.
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m all right.” He attempts to sit, but he grimaces and touches his left arm. “Fuck.”
“Everyone, move back!” yells a man, and a woman abruptly lifts me out of the way.
“Get moving!”
“There is an emergency here. A young man was involved in a car accident. 91st Avenue.”
Five paramedics arrive and quickly but cautiously assist in placing him on the gurney before loading him into the ambulance.
“I’m his friend, sir. Please take me with you,” I request of the medic.
He nods and opens the door for me.
When we arrive at the nearest hospital, Kristoff is unloaded and taken to the emergency room. Two doctors rush in after them, but the nurse prevents me from entering.
“Wait here, miss,” she says as she rushes into the emergency room as well.
I’m on the verge of collapsing at any moment. Another nurse approaches me and inquires if I am with the patient, after which she leads me to the hospital lobby to fill out some paperwork.
I can’t do this. Oh, God, Kristoff. What did I do?
I call Lora with my shaking hand after filling out the form, but she doesn’t answer. I call her again until she answers the phone. She must be at the party with her family right now.
I return to the ER’s waiting room and sit down to take it easy.
What should I do?
My phone abruptly rings, and instead of Lora, an unknown number appears on my screen. I respond, still trembling.
“Hello?”
“Anya? It’s Dean. Where are you?”
I look at the clock, and an hour has already passed. I’ve already missed out on meeting Mr. Pitch tonight, and I won’t be there for Julian’s birthday. Kristoff needs me here. That is all that matters right now.
“I... I’m not sure.” I look around the hospital, but my brain works so slowly that I can’t think clearly.
“Is there something wrong? Mr. Pitch is already waiting for you.”
“No, Dean, I’m not.” I sob, succumbing to my emotions. I feel so distressed. “And I can’t go there.” I swallow my throat dry. “I’m so sorry. I just can’t talk right now.”
“What? Please tell me what’s wrong.”
I hang up and dial Lora’s number again. Still no response.
Dean’s phone number pops up again, but I can’t answer. I’m at a loss for what to say to him.
After another hour, the emergency room door finally opens. The doctor emerges.
I go up to him. “Doctor, is he alright?”
“Yes. He only has a minor fracture and bruises on his left arm. Overall, he’s fine. The car may have stopped at the exact moment he was crossing, so the damage is minimal. He just needs to rest.”
Relief washes over me. “Thank God.”
“Are you related to the patient, miss?”
“No, I’m his... ex-girlfriend. I’ll contact his family.”
He nods. “He can be discharged today if we don’t find any complication later, but you can see him now. He’s awake.”
“Thank you.”
When I walk in, Kristoff is being attended to by a nurse. He’s sitting on the bed in a hospital gown, his left arm braced. I sniff to keep any more tears from falling.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“I’m in pain, but I’m okay. Nothing serious.”
“Well, you don’t seem fine to me. I’m sorry. I did this to you,” I say, perching on the chair next to his bed. The nurse walks out of the room.
“No, it was an accident because I wasn’t paying attention to the traffic lights.”
He wasn’t looking because his mind was on something else I caused, so it’s still my fault. “You frightened me back there.”
“Should I be thankful you’re still concerned about me?” He smiles as he touches my face.
“Of course I’m concerned!” I take his hand. “Please be careful, okay?”
“Anya, why are you still here?”
I raise my gaze to his bruised brow. “I can’t leave you like this.”
“Aren’t you going to Julian’s birthday?”
“But you’re mad at me.”
“Look.” He looks me in the eye. “I’m still upset with you and Julian. I asked several times why it had to be you. But when I look at the bigger picture, I realize that anyone will fall for you because you are kind, strong, intelligent, and beautiful... I can’t blame Julian for feeling that way because I’ve been there and blew that chance. He didn’t. I just wanted to hear it from you, Anya.”
“I know. I understand. You have the right to know the truth.”
“Do you really love him?”
“Yes. Very much.”
“So, what are you doing here? You should see him. I’ll be fine.”
“I was actually supposed to meet John Pitch tonight.”
He sighs. “What? Is it tonight?”
“Yes, but I’m already late. I doubt he’s expecting me. It’s embarrassing to just show up.”
“This shouldn’t come from me,” he murmurs to himself. “Anya, please just leave right now. You must go and see him. It doesn’t matter if you’re late. He’ll be there.”
“How could you possibly know? I don’t believe he’s the type to—”
“Do you really want to know who he is? Listen, if you had told me that earlier, I could have stopped you, but it’s not my right to stop you from going.”
“Why would you stop me?”
“Because you know who he is!” he exclaims. “Anya, open your eyes. If you only knew what I meant, you’d run there. I’ll call Ben to come here. Just leave.”
My entire body shudders at his words. “Okay, if you insist. Just so you know, I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
“I know you’re worried, but you’ll be wasting your time here.” He grabs my arm. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.”
“What? But you’re in pain. We should tell your parents.”
He locks his gaze on me, indicating that he is serious. “Don’t. I can handle myself.”
I hesitate but eventually agree. “Fine, but call me if you feel something’s wrong, okay?”
“Didn’t the doctor say I was fine? Just go.?”
“Alright, I’ll go!”
I jump up, and Dean calls me again at that precise moment.
“Where are you, Anya?” he asks.
“Do you think I’ll be able to make it there?” I ask as I stride out of the ER.
“I… I’m not sure. He was disappointed. Why aren’t you picking up?”
“I’m at the Lenox Hill hospital. It’s a long story, but I’m okay.”
“What?!” he exclaims. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
“No, it isn’t me. Dean, please. I’m still hoping to see him.”
“I’ll see what I can do.
“Thank you.” I hang up the phone and left the hospital.