~ Zoie's POV ~
- - - - - Two Months Later - - - - -
People say time heals all wounds. And though it's been several months since Asher left, the wound he left behind was still hurting Zoie. Zoie wasn't rolling over on the ground and crying in the fetal position every day, no, not every day. Most days, she appeared like she was fine. She would go to school, hang out with her friends, and hang out with Landon. But sometimes, at random times of the day, the thought of Asher would hit her and her chest would twist in pain.
Luckily for Zoie, Having Landon around turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Some nights, when the pain was too much to handle, it was nice that she could curl up in bed with Landon by her side. At least, she didn't have to feel super alone.
Perhaps, the silver lining in all of this was that life really does go on. In the beginning, Zoie thought her life was over. There was no way she could go on after the heartbreak she experienced. But day by day, taking it one step at a time, she realized she was still alive and living. Life didn't stop. And maybe, just maybe, one day she would wake up and the pain of remembering Asher wouldn't hurt as much anymore.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So, on a scale of one to ten, how excited are we for the Halloween party this year?" Nic asked as the girls were walking down the campus courtyard. It was the end of October, so the air was nice and cool. The leaves were turning a little orange and of course, the girls all had pumpkin spiced lattes in their hands.
"Oh my God, I can't even tell you how excited I am!" Jo exclaimed. "It's gonna be Giulio's first American Halloween experience and we're gonna go as Bella and Edward,"
"Oh, for real?" Nic asked.
"Yup, I got a leg cast made and everything!" Jo laughed, and Zoie laughed too.
Giulio was the Italian exchange student that Jo started seeing right before the break. Things seemed to be going well with them. Zoie never saw Jo this excited over a boy before. She was always gushing about how sweet and romantic Giulio was. The secret? Well, probably because he's not American.
"So, you and Giulio are really going strong, huh?" Nic asked.
"I know, thank God for Italian men!" Jo blew a kiss to the air and the girls laughed again. "American guys are just... so flaky! They're afraid of commitments, they don't express their feelings, and they don't communicate. Meanwhile, Giulio, despite English not being his first language, is always communicative and honest and sweet,"
"Awww, looks like someone's in love," Nic teased and nudged Jo's elbow playfully.
"Oh, shut up," Jo rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were turning pink.
Wow. Jo is in love. Never thought I'd see the day.
Jo was always a skeptic when it comes to love. She was always adamant that dating was just for fun. She wouldn't even date the same guy after a few months. But seeing her like this now, it made Zoie feel a little hopeful. If someone like Jo can experience a love like this, then maybe someday she can too. Again.
"Anyway, how about you, Zoe? What are you and Landon gonna go as?" Jo's voice pulled Zoie out of her thoughts.
"Um, I don't know," she shrugged. "We'll go to the party, but I don't think we'll dress up,"
"Oh, come on, you two have to dress up!" Jo argued.
"Yeah, you two make such a cute couple, maybe you'll win the best dressed couple award?" Nic added.
"Hey! That's for me and Giulio!" Jo interjected.
"Yeah, I'll leave that one for Jo," Zoie laughed.
This Halloween, the student body committee was coming up with another big bash for a costume party. The winner of the costume party was going to get some scholarship awards too. So naturally, everyone at school was excited. Zoie, though, was just alright about it. She would go because all her friends were going, but she doubt she'd enjoy it as much as they will.
"So, I'm guessing it's not official yet?" Nic asked cautiously. "You and Landon?"
Zoie forced out a smile and shook her head.
"Girl, I still don't get why you're not locking that thing up already?" Jo frowned and crossed her arms. "He's super cute, super nice, and super in love with you!"
"And most importantly, you two are great friends. Great friends make great relationships," Nic added.
Zoie had brought Landon along to meet her friends a few times already. They hung out together, went to the movies, went to dinners, and went to several parties too. From the first time they saw Landon, Jo and Nic already noticed that he had the hots for Zoie. They were convinced that Landon and her would make a great couple, no matter how many times Zoie told them that they're just friends.
"Oh, and another pro, he's geographically close to you. Super close!" Jo interjected.
"Yeah, no more long distance because that shit is whack," Nic agreed.
As far as her friends know, Landon was a family friend living with her because he was looking to find work in the area. And they also knew that Zoie and her mystery long-distance boyfriend broke up. So they thought, this must be a match made in heaven.
"I don't know guys," Zoie shrugged. "I guess I'm just... waiting for the right time,"
"The right time for what?"
"To move on,"
Zoie bit her lip to stop herself from crying in the middle of the school courtyard. It's been several months and it was still a painful topic to talk about.
"Aw, honey, there's never the right time for anything," Nic said as she pulled Zoie into a hug.
"It's been months now, babe. It's okay, you can let it go," Jo added. "Give yourself permission to let it go,"
Jo gave her an understanding look and Nic was rubbing her shoulder soothingly. If this was a month ago, Zoie would've broken down in tears right there. But now, she was feeling a little stronger. She could hold back the tears and smile back at her friends.
And at that moment, she thought, "Yeah... Maybe I can really do this... I can go on..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
- - - - - Several Days Later - - - - -
"Zee, you ready?"
Landon's voice was heard from behind the door. Zoie was in her room, standing in front of the mirror, finalizing the last detail of her make-up.
"Coming!" she yelled back.
Zoie was dressed in all black, she even had a black wig on. She was dressed as Wednesday Addams, complete with the braided pigtails and school uniform. Once she felt like she was ready, Zoie put the lipstick down and headed out the door.
Outside of her room, Landon was already waiting for her. He was dressed as Pugsley Addams, complete with s striped shirt and black shorts. The minute she saw him, Zoie couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh my God! Are you serious?" she couldn't stop giggling.
"What?" he beamed cluelessly. "You said you're going as Wednesday Addams. Wouldn't this be fitting?"
Zoie only laughed harder. This was the first time she laughed so hard like this. Landon, though impeccably cute, looked rather funny in that short pants and tight striped shirt. Like an oversized eight year old boy.
"Alright, alright, you can keep laughing in the car," he said as he pulled her to the door. "Let's go,"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
This year's Halloween party turned out to be bigger and even crazier than it was last year. People's costumes were wild and elaborate, the spooky decorations covered every inch of the grand ballroom, and the music was pumping so hard, they might've heard them from the moon.
The excitement in the air was contagious, and Zoie felt it too. As soon as she arrived, she was greeted by her friend's excited screams. Jo and Giulio were there, dressed as Bella and Edward. Nic and her boyfriend were there too, dressed as Squid Game characters complete with the tracksuits.
"Oh my God, guys, it's Bad Bunny!" Nic exclaimed as the DJ put a Bad Bunny song on.
The next thing she knew, Zoie was whisked away to the dancefloor with all her friends. Everyone was laughing and dancing without a care. And for the first time in months, Zoie danced too.
Dancing was like therapy. She didn't have to think or care about anything. She could just move and nothing seemed to matter at that moment. It also helped that there was alcohol on the premises. She remembered she kept asking for gin and tonics and Landon got rounds for everyone.
Finally, after two hours of dancing and five gin and tonics later, Zoie felt tired. She decided to take a breather, moving away from the dance floor to the corner of the ballroom. Jo and Giulio were still dancing the night away, while Nic and her boyfriend disappeared somewhere, and Landon was going to the restroom.
Standing alone in the corner of the room, Zoie suddenly felt the emptiness of it all. Yes, she was surrounded by many people, but she couldn't help but feel alone. Something was still missing. Or rather, someone.
Mindlessly, her hand reached for her phone. Her screen showed the time and date. It was Halloween night, October 31st. And then she remembered, Ash's birthday was November fourth, less than four days from now.
Zoie swallowed hard. She just wanted to know how he was doing. Was that too much to ask?
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe her own desperation, but her fingers started moving on their own accord. She was calling Asher's number. She didn't think much of it, really.
His phone is probably off anyway. Or maybe he already blocked me or whatever.
"Hello?"
To her absolute surprise, the line only rang once and Asher picked up!
"H-hey!" she stammered, completely caught off guard.
For a moment there, no one said anything. Asher was probably waiting for her to say something because she was the one who called him. But at this moment, Zoie's brain went blank.
"What is it?" Asher said finally, breaking the silence.
"I... I didn't think you'd answer my call..." she said.
Oh, come on! Say something better than that!
"Do you need something?" his voice was still cold and flat. Or maybe, he even sounded annoyed.
"I just... wanna hear your voice, that's all..."
Zoie wanted to say so much more. There were so many questions running through her head. But right now, just the fact that he was here, talking to her. It was more than anything she needed to know. And so, she just stood there quietly with the phone pressed to her ear, listening to the sound of his breathing.
Ash... I miss you. I still do.
"Zoie," he spoke up first, breaking the silence again. "Are you drunk?"
"What? No!" she gaped.
But she was. Maybe he knew that she was.
"Zoie," he said flatly.
"Yes?"
"Please don't call me,"
Zoie's heart sank to the floor with that. Just when she thought that she was stronger, her tears were welling up in her eyes again. With just one sentence, four words, he broke her down in an instant.
"Ash, you left me without saying goodbye!" she yelled angrily, there were no restraints now, everything was out. "Don't I at least deserve an explanation for that?"
Asher was quiet for a moment, but then he said, "I have no explanation, sorry. I just think... we were getting in too deep and... that's not what I want..."
Zoie let out a scoff. So that's the reason why he left? He was being a coward? He couldn't handle the intensity of where their relationship was going, so he took the easy way out?
"Oh, okay, yeah, that explains a lot," she said bitterly.
"Zoie-"
"Once again Ash, thank you for making me hate you so easily. Goodbye,"
Zoie ended the call before he could say another word. Another hurtful word and she would break down harder. Or maybe she would explode. She felt like exploding at this moment. She already cried enough tears for him and clearly, he didn't even feel the same way. All those tears were just wasted. And now, she was angry. At him and at herself, for being so stupid to believe in everything he said.
"Zee?" Landon's voice cut through her thoughts. He just returned from the restroom, and he noticed the distressed look on her face. "You okay?"
"Can you get me a drink?" she said flatly.
"Another one?" Landon looked worried.
"Actually, make that two,"
With that, Zoie went back to the dance floor. With her heart numb and her eyes cold.
*
*
*
- - - - - - To Be Continued - - - - - -