Kit:P’Kim was sitting next to Kit in the back seat as P’David drove them back to the mansion. His mind was still stuck on the events that had happened earlier. He was no longer afraid because the moment had long since come and gone, but now, he could only think about how… inhumane his father had been.
It seemed that he truly had no love of any kind for his own family. He was way too eager in threatening his life, as if he was not Kit’s father, and much more invested in what he wanted to get from Kit rather than listen to what Kit had pleaded for.
And he even had the balls to threaten his pregnant daughter!
Well, truth be told, Kit didn’t expect anything from him, so he was not hurt. Rather, he was just… surprised that any normal human being could do something as heartless as what his father had done. Then again, clearly his father wasn’t just any normal human being. Perhaps he was not even human anymore…
“You did a great job,” P’Kim said to break the silence. Kit could feel his eyes on him, but tried not to look back, keeping his eyes out the window. “You were very brave to face your father the way you did.”
But no matter how much P’Kim tried to reassure him, there was this itching feeling in Kit’s gut that he wasn’t really of much help to P’Kim or to anyone. Not just with the little acting scenario he had done earlier in front of his father, but just… in general.
He thought back to what he had done the days prior; being difficult, refusing to go out, sticking to P’Kim like glue whenever he was around.
What was he even doing with his life? What was his purpose here? It seemed that his very existence was a nuisance to everyone. After all, his father wouldn’t have had the brilliant plan of using Kit as his inside man if Kit wasn’t his son.
The traffic light turned red at the intersection, and P’David brought the car to a halt, so Kit had no escape anymore. He was fully aware of the traffic light timer.
3 minutes.
And he thought of taking advantage of the time to really talk to P’Kim. For some reason, P’Kim always liked to think of Kit as fragile, but he really wasn’t. Yes, he detested violence, or having any kind of attention on him, but that didn’t mean he had to remain defenseless.
So, he had to ask the question he was dying to get answers for, no matter if it meant baring his insecurities in the open.
“P’Kim…” he began. “I just wanted to ask… why…” He struggled to collect his thoughts. “Why did you even choose to be with… with someone like me? I have been nothing but pure trouble since the day we met. So why do you bother with me?”
P’Kim raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly brought this on?” he countered with a question of his own. “Did your father tell you something that made you ask these sorts of questions? Come on, Kit, you know better than to believe the ideas he tries to put in your head.”
Kit shook his head. “No, it’s not that… not something my father said.” He glanced at the traffic light timer; one more minute to go. He didn’t know why he was looking at the timer when he wasn’t even driving, but he had this odd feeling that time was running out.
“What is it, then?” P’Kim asked, his tone coaxing.
Kit sighed. “I can’t help but notice my glaring inadequacy to help anyone. On top of that, I always get into trouble and always end up needing help to get out of it, and that makes me feel like I’m being a burden to everyone. I mean, how do you all keep putting up with me?”
“I don’t get it,” P’Kim said, looking genuinely confused.
The light turned green, and the car began moving forward gracefully, and Kit wondered if P’David was listening in on their conversation. Which…he definitely was, since there was no need to avoid it.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Think about it, the very first day we met, you found me in that compromising situation and saved me from being sexually assaulted by my boss, and then the next time, you had to shoot some loan sharks dead to save me from, well, getting hurt.” Kit sighed again, feeling like there was some heavy weight over him.
“That caused a rift between you and P’First, and I even got Ben involved in all this!” Kit couldn’t keep the frustration from his tone. “Don’t get me wrong, P’Kim, I am more than grateful for your help. Without your help though, I probably would have already been dead a long time ago. But… I just don’t want to be this helpless anymore. I don’t want to be someone you constantly have to babysit just because I can’t protect myself. I mean, look how easily my father could overpower me! I want—no, I need“That’s not really necessary…” P’Kim started to say, but Kit cut him off, “Were you listening to me, P’Kim?”
As he got frustrated, Kit realized that he had just raised his voice at P’Kim, something he never even thought of in a million years. Kit just wasn’t that kind of a person.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to do that,” Kit cursed. “Sorry… I just got carried away.”
He risked a glance at P’Kim, who now had an expressionless look on his face. Even his silence was unreadable. “Even my father believes me to be a weak dog that he can kick around just because he can. To him, I am nothing else. And I hate that.”
“I hate feeling useless. I hate feeling like a burden. I want to be stronger and better, not because of what someone said, but because I believe that misfortune always follows me wherever I go. I seem to live a life where there is trouble at every turn, and I need to learn how to defend myself in order to survive and at least be able to protect the people I love, if the need arises.”
P’Kim still wasn’t speaking. If Kit knew him well, and he did, he was disapproving of the idea. P’Kim had this belief that if Kit learned to wield a weapon, that would only make him one more step closer to the dangers of the mafia world.
Kit had to find a way to bypass that notion he held close. He had to come up with an argument convincing enough that P’Kim would have no choice but to agree.
“Soon we are going to Chiang Mai. It was supposed to be a trip for us friends, but instead, it has turned into a dangerous mission. Do you really think it is possible for you and P’First to protect all of us at all times?” he said urgently. “If you truly want to cover all bases and ensure that we will come out victorious against my father and his forces, then you should realize that it is not wise to have only one out of four friends know how to hold a gun.”
Kit risked another glance at P’Kim as he chewed on his bottom lip, hoping that his point had gotten across. “Come on,” he coaxed, “I want to at least be able to stay out of trouble.”
“But if you become one of the people who know how to use a gun, that would mean it’d be one of your options to stay and fight if one broke out,” P’Kim argued.
“That’s the wrong way of looking at it,” Kit muttered.
P’Kim went silent again; clearly, he was thinking it through. And then, finally, he sighed. “Alright,” he said, and Kit had to suppress the urge to pump his fist in the air. “But if you are to be taught how to fire a gun, I will have to ask Ben to teach you.”
Kit’s triumphant smile instantly dropped. “What?” he asked, alarmed. “Can’t anyone else do it?”
P’Kim shook his head firmly. “No, it’s better if you two resolve your differences prior to the mission so you can go on the trip with a clear mind. That’s hitting two birds with one stone, don’t you think?”