“Please, don't kill me. Don't kill our child,” the queen pleaded then.
When Vetta looked up at her, Danika really did give up then. She saw tears in Vetta's eyes. Through the tears, she saw her own death in the mistress's dark-blown eyes.
Then the mistress sprang to her feet and withdrew a knife with a long sharp blade. She had never seen that kind of knife in her life, and she knew without a doubt that a knife like that would tear through the body, killing instantly.
Danika had the great urge to scream, but she opened her mouth and no sound would emerge. She was too disoriented.
Vetta walked towards her before she could open her mouth to give screaming another try. She placed the knife to her belly. “I hear a scream and I dig this knife deep inside your belly before I dive out of your window.”
Queen Danika snapped her mouth shut. Tears filled her own eyes. Heavens, I'm going to die!
“Just when I thought your father did enough, a new one presents itself! How dare you stand there and look so righteous after you all destroyed our lives!?” Vetta glared at her, her eyes swimming with angry tears. “Do you have any idea what I went through in your father's hands!? Do you have any idea what it feels like to live in hell for ten good years waiting for your own day to die!? Do you know what it feels like to be raped by several different men every single night and you cannot do anything about it!? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be whipped day and night until your back is all shredded and torn, filled with blood and bruises!!!?”
Queen Danika lowered her head as guilt and shame overwhelmed her. No matter how she had tried to tell herself that it wasn’t her fault, the feeling weighed inside her.
Vetta was not done. Tears slipped from her eyes. “Do you have any i-idea what it feels like to do things against your will!? Do you have any idea what it feels l-like to take a life!!? Do you know what it feels like to be forced to take several lives!?” It was getting harder to talk for the mistress because of the tears. “And then, most especially, d-do you have any i-idea wh-what it feels like to protect someone you love with ev-everything in you only for someone el-else to come out of nowhere and take him from you!? Not only that, but that woman is the daughter of the monster that ruined your life!!!? And now she's pregnant for him, about to give him something you could never give him!? You have any i-idea wh-what it f-feels l-like!?”
Danika was openly crying now, tears falling from her eyes in waves.
Vetta was no better. She was crying, too, while holding Danika tight in the arm. She swiped the tears angrily from her eyes. “Then they expect you to j-just throw everything away? To just get up one morning and m-move on? Vetta, the s-saint...why not just let go and forget? They s-say it like it is the easiest thing in the world when it's the h-hardest...” She looked Danika in the eyes. “Tell me, Danika, h-how does someone forget something like this and just m-move on?”
“But that is why it h-hurts so much, isn't it?” Danika's voice broke into low whispers. “Because you are starting to forget? To let go? You are starting to let go of the hate you have been holding onto for so long and you hate yourself for it?”
“Shut your mouth!” Vetta hissed.
“You hate that you know deep within yourself that killing me will not make you feel better. You hate that you know killing me will not reverse those years of pain. You know that killing me will not heal your pain. You know that killing me will not make the king love you.”
Angrily, Vetta raised the knife to Danika's heart. “I swear to the heavens that I will bury this to your chest if you don't stop talking!”
But Danika's mouth could not stop. “You hate that hating me does not come so naturally anymore like it did before. You hate that deep within yourself, you know that I am not pretending to be who I am. You hate that these days you have to look at me and try so hard before you can call up that hate. You are healing, and you hate that too. You developed a conscience and you hate that too.”
Vetta gripped the knife so tight that her muscles hurt. Her teary eyes were glaring daggers at Danika.
Then Queen Danika took a step back from her. She lowered herself to her knees before Vetta, ignoring the shards of pain that shot to her hips at the position.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Vetta snapped, still poised over her with the knife hanging in the air.
“What I should have done a long time ago.” She sniffled, looking Vetta straight in the eyes. “I am so s-sorry for everything. I am sorry for what you went through in my father's hands. I am sorry that you had to live in hell for ten good years waiting for your own day to die. I am sorry that you were raped and whipped until your back was shredded and torn, filled with blood and bruises.
“I am s-sorry that the king fell in love with m-me when it should have been you. I am s-sorry that I am c-carrying his child inside me. I am so sorry that you feel so forsaken and thrown away because of his love for me. I am sorry that we c-cannot tell ourselves who to love. I am sorry for loving him with everything inside me. I am sorry that even if y-you kill me today I w-will still keep loving him.” She blinked. Tears rained down her eyes. “I am s-sorry that my father turned you into this w-woman. I am s-sorry that you had to live with hating me for so long. I am sorry for everything, Anarieveta...”
Vetta trembled from head to toe.
The hand that held the knife shook so badly like it was attached to a vibrating ring. Tears rained down Vetta’s eyes in massive waves. Then the knife dropped from her hand. She fell to the ground before Danika and began sobbing her eyes out. Huge pain-filled sounds tore from the very heart of her. She cried and cried and cried so badly, she shook.
Danika crawled towards her and wrapped her arms around her neck. She was crying too. “I am so sorry. So, so sorry.”
For a moment, Vetta leaned into her and wrapped her arms tightly around Danika's shoulders. She cried on her shoulders, bawling like a child whose pains could never be describable. For a moment.
Then she sprang away from Danika's arms and got to her feet. Vetta walked to the bed, took out the cloak she used to disguise herself while sneaking in, and pulled the black cloak to cover herself. She came back and glared at Danika with red teary eyes. “Don't think I let you go. And don't think I will not be back. I will be back, and I will kill you! I just need...” She did not finish, clamping her mouth shut. Then she turned towards the very high window and dove out of it.
Queen Danika was alone again. With the knife lying in front of her.
.
.
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