Lexa
It only takes one smooth motion for Kaleb to catch me around the middle and take me to the ground. My back hits the soft carpet with a thud that rattles my bones, and I jerk, diving to drive a knee between us. He gathers my wrists, pinning them above my head, and thrusts his knee between my legs, pinning me.
His eyes are bright and only inches above mine while he inspects my face for damage from my fall. Pain throbs through my forehead, but it’s my pride that stings in agony.
“I told you,” he says low in his throat, a soft growl that laces over my skin, “your overconfidence is going to kill you. Do you think you can still see in the dark without your wolf at your disposal?”
I go totally still, my body relaxing against my will, and fold. I submit. I give up.
“What happened to us? Why does this have to be so hard? Rejecting each other? I don’t want to do it, but you’re making it clear that we–we’ll never be able to be together. What changed in you after the maze? You’re not the same man you were when I… when I went in.”
He says nothing, but the column of his throat bobs before tightening, his expression pained.
“Kaleb?” I whisper, unable to take this gutting feeling any longer. “What did I do wrong?”
He loosens his grip and rises, stepping over me and into the moonlight.
“Are you going to talk to me? Have you changed your mind about how you feel–”
“I felt my entire world shift the moment I saw you.”
I pull my knees to my chest, watching him turn his head ever so slightly to look down at me.
“It was like being struck over the head and waking up with fractured memories. Like just the sight of you was enough to undo everything I’ve ever known. When we, the sponsors, were called to make our decisions, to vie for victors, I chose you because I was selfish, not because I thought you had a chance of winning, but because I didn’t want anyone else getting you. Silas took Chessie at my urging because I knew he could keep her safe when you couldn’t.”
My throat restricts, but I remain on the floor, cast in his shadow as he kneels a few feet away.
“I wanted you to prove me wrong. I wanted you to be weak, to be submissive, to be just another feminine face too scared to look me in the eyes. You weren’t. You are everything I deserved. Spiteful. Arrogant. High-strung. Overconfident and brash with a temper to match.”
My nostrils flare at the insults, but… his tone… I’m struggling to understand what he means until he continues, “You were everything I tried to kill in my myself. If I’d been more spiteful and driven, things wouldn’t have gotten this far. I could have tried to free everyone in the Glade sooner and stopped waiting for the right moment to come, and then there you were, fighting me tooth and nail, looking at me like I was the king, the person keeping you in chains.”
He looks down at his hands.
“After the maze, it became clear that there’re other things in motion that I can’t keep you out of. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to keep you at arm’s length, and when I failed, when we felt the bond, and I claimed you when I knew how selfish it was of me–”
“I wanted you,” I whisper, but he shakes his head.
“I knew better, Lexa. I’m stronger than that.”
“When have you ever let yourself have something you want?”
“What I want doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me!”
He edges closer but hesitates, bowing his head. “Lexa, this is it for us. I need you to understand that. You will go home and have a life beyond me, and I have to be okay with that, too, but it’s killing me. Before your cousin made himself known during the Maze Trial, I let myself believe that things might work out in our favor, selfishly, that you and I were paired because we have a future, but we do not. You know we don’t.”
“But if we did,” I choke out, pain radiating through my chest like I’m digging for those threads just to feel them again. I’d do anything to feel it again. “If we had a chance, Kaleb, would you come with me? Would you bring everyone from the Glade home if it wasn’t so Goddess damned impossible?”
“I want to say yes,” he says in a whisper, unable to meet my eyes. “I want you to know that, Lexa, that if I could say yes, I would. But I can’t give you that kind of hope.”
“Why not? Why is this so hard?”
“Because I love you.” His voice is ragged with emotion that he refuses to show. His expression remains tight, but his eyes are set in sorrow and it absolutely turns me inside out more than his words do. “I love you. I’d walk through hell for you and maybe that’s exactly what I’m doing now, and that’s enough for me. I want nothing more than for it to be enough for you.”
Tears slide free, trickling down my cheeks. He moves closer, tugging my arms free from my knees, pulling me to his chest.
“I will not be going with you,” he says into my hair. “I can’t go. But I’m here now. That’s the best I can do.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and drag him down, my mouth on his.
It’s a soft kiss–guarded and uneasy. A tangled sob works up my throat, but I banish it, parting my lips against his in surrender, and he folds into my touch, pressing me to the carpet. I deepen the kiss, my cheeks wet with tears as I smooth my tongue against his, memorizing his taste, the feeling of him shuddering around me.
I want just a piece of him. Something to hold on to. Something that belongs to us and not the games. I guide his hand to my breast, arching my back in silent approval as he pressing kisses down my throat, his mouth clasping around the mark he left there, a mark I’ll wear for the rest of my life, even if he’s not in it.
I don’t know how it happens but our clothes slowly come off. He sinks into me, grinding his hips into mine in slow, heavy strokes. I purr like a cat, unhurried, letting his warmth rush through me and awakening the little strands of our bond not touched by the king’s magic. Heat blossoms in my lower belly, my body tightening in anticipation of a release I hope doesn’t come because I don’t want this to end.
But I writhe beneath him, and he groans against my shoulder, gasping as my body submits and softens in his hands. His cock slides into me with ease–demanding–even if his hands on my body are gentle and tender.
This isn’t the frenzied lust we experienced the first time.
This is ours. Our love. Our bodies are unburdened by unseen chains. The king can’t take this moment from us.
He guides my hips with each slow thrust, his breath coming in quick rasps, and my body follows his, driven to the point of no return. My arms drop to my sides, my hair falling in a halo across the carpet as he rises on his knees, dragging my hips up, and drives into me with newfound fervor.
His eyes meet mine in the silver moonlight, heavy and hooded with heat. I come undone, pleasure washing through me in a gentle, throbbing wave, my inner muscles tightening then spasming around his length, and he finally lets himself go.
He lowers himself to my body, kissing my breasts before our mouths lock. He grunts, caging me in on the carpet and pouring his heat inside of me, flooding me with warmth, and I am boneless beneath him, unable to move even if I wanted to.
“I love you,” I whisper, tears dampening my cheeks. He’s still hard, still inside of me, and the next kiss is… damning and so heated that my toes curl, and fresh desire rockets through me.
He takes me again on the carpet, rougher this time, claiming me over and over until our bodies are spent and morning sunlight drifts through the curtains. I’m half asleep when he pulls a blanket off the bed and drapes it over us before curling his body around mine, holding me in a tight, locked embrace, like he’s terrified I’ll disappear if he so much as lets go.
We sleep through the morning, and I wake to a pinching sensation deep in my belly that sends a shockwave through me, rattling me enough to come to full awareness. I sit up, squinting into the sunlight, and realize with a start I’m in bed instead of on the floor–and alone.
I slide out of the sheets, gripping the fourposter as another pinch delves through my belly like a knife and quickly retreats, leaving me slightly breathless.
I haven’t given any thought to my moon cycle. I haven’t had it since I arrived in Pantharas, but that doesn’t surprise me in the least. It’s never been regular, for one. Two, I’ve been under an incredible amount of stress.
I hobble toward the bathroom and find, to my relief, supplies in the event I need them. Silas is, undoubtedly, a very thoughtful man.
Chessie would have loved him deeply if she were still here.
She wouldn’t have left him behind; I know that much.
Chessie would have stayed.
She’s a stronger woman than I’ll ever be.
I shower, dress, and move through the quiet house to the kitchen. There’re still no maids here, and Blake is the only body haunting the house beside me, it seems.
He confirms it, saying, “There’s coffee and fresh cream. Your mate had to go tend to his pack. He’ll be back to escort you to the next Trial this evening.”
I freeze, my hand stretched in midair to reach for a coffee mug on one of the tall shelves above my head. “So soon?”
“Tonight. It’s a hunt. You’ll be able to shift.” His eyes meet mine, a dimmer violet than I remember.
“We need to talk.”
“We do.”
I pour a cup of coffee, taking advantage of the cream and sugar he laid out. I’m unsurprised by the lack of breakfast because I’ve never seen Blake eat a real meal, and I doubt he’s started now.
I have so many questions. Too many. I start with the most important one.
“What are you planning on doing, Blake?”
“I’m going to kill Hannibal.”
“It can’t be as simple as that.”
“It shouldn’t be, but I was pulled here by the Goddess and found myself in the beginnings of a revolution. Silas has already done all of the work for me. I just need to get Hannibal alone.”
I turn my mug in a circle. “Are your powers affected by this place?”
“No,” he says softly, nodding in confirmation that he’s aware the fae and shifter alike are stripped of their powers. “I have them well under my control.”
“Then how will you do it? Kill Hannibal?”
“Publically. I will have my moment. It’s already planned. I will kill him in front of his supporters as a lesson not to fuck with our family.”
“And the king? You don’t think he’ll stop you?”
His eyes shine a little brighter. “Your mate would like his moment with the king, and he will have it.”
Dread laces through me.
“What do you need me to do?” I ask in a whisper.
He smiles–coy, sly as a fox. “Does Kaleb know you have a beast form?”