*Isaac*
“You’ll burst through the seams if you keep moving like that,” Cassian says with a bite in his voice as he fastens my leathers–a vest and forearm guards–over my black shirt. Pins displaying my status as not only the Alpha King, but a warrior of the highest rank, are displayed over my heart. The outfit is what I’d wear if I were to meet with an enemy face to face. No royal jewels rest atop my head. No velvet cape lined with fur. No rings on my fingers.
Just me in all preparedness to fight.
“Your mom’s going to have a fit–”
“She’s aware this is what I’m wearing,” I cut in gruffly, barely glancing at my reflection in the full length mirror in front of me as I reach down to take my jacket off a nearby chair. It’ll be the only wedding-like attire I’ll be wearing today, and it’s pitch black, just like my shirt and pants. I look more like a shadow than a groom, but so be it. This day doesn’t feel like anything to celebrate.
I’m not the only one getting married in my fighting leathers tonight, either. The city of canvas tents now stretching from the castle all the way to Crescent City will soon be alight with activity. Warriors and their mates, facing separation, will be hasty but thorough in their goodbyes, and from what I’ve been told, that includes saying their vows to each other in front of the Goddess at the temples littered throughout the city and nearby villages.
When all of this is over, and I’m back home and tucked in bed, the night sky will be full of paper lanterns. Unlike the night of my parents’ wedding, the lanterns won’t be strewn with well-wishes and prayers to the Goddess for a healthy, loving union between the bride and groom. Tonight, those prayers will be desperate attempts to convince the Goddess to bring home their loved ones–their fathers, brothers, sons, and lovers. Their mates.
My throat nearly closes in full as I try to shove the thought of every grieving, heartbroken person in my kingdom out of my mind.
It’s too late to back out of any of this. I have no choice.
Cassian licks his lips and heaves a sigh as I smooth my hands over my head to smooth down my hair, which has decided to stand on end despite multiple attempts to tame it. “You were up all night.”
“Are you asking, or stating that as fact?”
“I thought you liked this girl,” he continues, rolling his eyes at my icy tone and reaching for a decanter of bourbon sitting on a marble side table.
I look around the opulent room inside the official temple of the Moon Goddess. Everything is white and silver, down to the hand-stitched embroidery on the throw pillows covering a white-velvet chaise lounge. I pick one of the pillows up and turn it over in my hands, just needing to touch something, to do something with my hands to distract myself from the inner turmoil spurred by Cassian’s remark.
“This has nothing to do with Maddy.”
“Uh, but it does, doesn’t it? You’re getting married to her, in an hour.”
“I tried to get her to call it off,” I reply as I stare absently down at the throw pillow, running my thumbs over the embroidery.
“When?”
“Last night.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? We’re getting married to appease Alphas who’ve already brought me their armies. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Cassian takes a large drink of his bourbon before reaching for the second crystal glass and pouring a hefty dose of the amber liquid. He takes a single step toward me, arm outstretched, and tilts his head toward the glass. “You need to drink this.”
“I had my fill last night while watching the Alphas gloat over sending their warriors off to die–”
“Drink it.” He shoves the glass against my chest, nearly spilling it all over my clothes. I clutch the glass before he lets go, stopping it from falling and shattering on the floor near my boots.
With a scowl, I take a sip, then another, letting the smooth taste of it coat my tongue and slide down my throat.
“What’s done is done, Alpha.” Cassian sits on the arm rest of the chaise lounge, crossing his ankles. His copper hair is tied back at the nape of his neck, and for the first time in weeks, he’s clean shaven. “You can’t ignore the threat outside Moorn any longer. King Kane has been encroaching on Elijah’s territory for months.”
“I know,” I reply, drinking deeply until I finish the glass and hand it back to him. “I know.”
“Everyone else is doing their best to enjoy themselves tonight. Hell, even Hannah agreed to spend the night with me out on the town after the ceremony and reception.” The happiness in his voice is palpable, and I feel the corner of my mouth twitch into a ghost of a smile.
I toss the pillow aside and turn back to the mirror, adjusting my leathers even though they don’t need it. I’m fidgeting. I can’t help it. There’s an electric undercurrent to the raw adrenaline coursing through my veins, and it has nothing to do with the war.
“Since we’re here, waiting on your bride, I’m under the impression she refused to call the wedding off.”
I glance at Cassian’s reflection in the mirror and nod. “She ignored the command completely.”
“You commanded her?”
“I–yes, at least that’s what I thought it sounded like when I said it,” I confessed, swallowing hard. “I’m sick at the thought of marrying and then abandoning my wife the next morning. It doesn’t seem… fair.”
“You didn’t seem too concerned about it when you started hunting for a wife.”
“The situation has changed–”
“Because you love her?”
I close my eyes and exhale. I’m on the verge of losing control, of snapping, of killing my Beta just because he’s the closest person to me that I can take out my incredible level of stress on.
“Do you have anywhere else you can be right now?”
Cassian chuckles under his breath then groans as he rises from his perch on the armrest. He claps me hard on the back. “Actually, we both do.”
Fuck. He’s right. I look down at my watch and curse under my breath. As if on cue, a temple attendant peeks into the room we’re occupying and hurriedly asks if I’m ready, to which I nod, even if I feel it’s a better idea to set fire to the temple and running off into the sunset to some distant land with Maddy over my shoulder.
What I would give to be far away from here, outside of the Goddess’s watchful eye and the prophetic expectations she burdened me with.
Maddy has seen me fully now. Every mood. Every shortcoming. Every power. She also seen my weakness, my only weakness, and must know that she sees it everytime she sees her own reflection in the mirror.
Her walking into my life is the cruelest twist of fate. Me walking out of hers after claiming her as my own is more painful than I can put into words.
I’m in a trance as I follow the attendant into the sanctum of the temple, a rounded room with nothing but a large statue of the Goddess and her wolves coiled around her feet. The High Priestess is standing in the center of the room dressed in silver robes, her eyes somewhat glassy as her mouth moves to a silent prayer, her hands palm up and raised toward the temple. A white length of fabric is woven between her open hands. She lowers it and turns to me, giving me a graceful curtsey. “Are you ready to begin, Your Highness?”
“Sure,” I reply gruffly, my clothes feeling too tight and the air in the room too thick to breathe. But just then, I hear footsteps echoing through the chamber and turn, seeing my family and several Alphas approaching. The group forms a semi-circle around the far side of the room. I fight back the prickling sensation in my cheeks at the sight of the Alphas, the men who put me in this position, and then let my gaze fall on my mom, who gives me an encouraging smile in return.
This is wrong. What I’m doing to Maddy is wrong. Surely, she doesn’t want to do this either, not after what she’s seen. Not now that she knows the truth of what I am. Not now that she knows I’m not coming back from this war.
A hush falls over the congregation, followed by lighter footsteps the brush over the marble floors like a whispering wind, like music, like a breeze through a bed of wildflowers.
And then she’s there, dressed in white, her train of pearls and moonstones glittering behind her like a sea of stars.
The tiara atop her head glistens in the sun pouring through the angular windows in the ceiling, and her rich, dark red hair is loose and falling over her shoulders in cascades of silk.
Her cheeks are nearly the same shade of red as her hair as she eyes the intimate crowd, two temple attendants following closely behind her.
But then she turns to me and those deep blue eyes catch mine.
I feel the earth shift beneath my feet, and suddenly, nothing else matters but the woman–the Goddess–walking in my direction. She looks like the night sky I see through the telescope everytime I’m searching the heavens for answers to who, and what, I am. Her hair resembles the ribbons of far off galaxies, her dress the stars, and those eyes like a beacon from a distant land telling me I’m coming home.
I’ve never been a poetic man, but the sight of her has me wanting to write epic sonnets in her name. Why is the Goddess doing this to me now? Why not three years ago when I had a little time?
I extend my hand to her and clasp her fingers. Behind us, a murmur ripples through the crowd, but their voices are distorted against the thrumming heartbeat in my ears.
“You look incredible. Beautiful,” I whisper to her, not that it matters, because the High Priestess’s booming voice is already bouncing off the rounded walls and choking any other sounds.
“You look very handsome,” she replies, her mouth momentarily twitching into a smile.
She looks nervous, maybe even hesitant. I know it’s my fault she feels this way. “Maddy, I’m sorry.”
“For what part, exactly?” She arches her brow at me.
Exhaling, I reply in a whisper, “For trying to get you to call off the wedding. For your wretched stepsister being in my room. For forcing you to see me as….” I trail off, giving her a knowing look.
“It’s our secret. It’s fine, I forgive you.”
“Fine?”
She turns away from me, staring ahead at the rambling Priestess. “I didn’t think you’d show up today.”
“I wouldn’t have done that to you.” There’s nothing I can say to make her believe me. “I can’t promise I won’t mess up again.”
“Are these your vows?” she teases.
“Yes, in fact. You’re right, these are my vows–” I turn to face her, ignoring protocol and the priestess still jabbering in front of us. “I vow to you, Madeline, that I’ll do my absolute best not to be an asshole for the next eighteen hours of our marriage.”
Maddy purses her lips, her eyes narrowing into cat-like slits.
“I vow to… write to you often from the frontlines. And if Lady Elodie tries to seek me out again before morning, I’ll throw her over the second floor banister.”
A small smile touches her lips even though she’s doing her best to keep glaring at me.
Taking her hand in mine, I grip her fingers tight and lean down to brush the next words over her ear. “I vow to do everything I can to come back to you, so that you and I can have the life we’ve been robbed of thus far. I promise you, Maddy, that I will try to come home to you.”
When I pull away from her and straighten up, her eyes are closed, but her lower lashes are dotted with tears. A single tear falls from her lashes and rolls down her cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb, my palm resting against her face.
A quick glance at the crowd behind us shows me the variety of reactions to the intimacy between the bride and groom. My parents and extended family are watching us with shared pride and something I can only describe as relief. The Alphas look more than a little confused, like they’d rather be out drinking in the tent city than here, and Louisa and Elodie look ready to explode with fury.
Good. I’ll deal with them later, if I have the chance.
“Ahem,” the High Priestess coughs. “Did you hear anything I said?”
“I apologize,” I say gracefully, turning to face her again, my hand on the small of Maddy’s back. “Where were we?”
“We were almost done,” she replies, her tone clipped and annoyed. She motions for us to hold out our hands. Maddy watches me as I hold my hands palm up, and does the same. “Blessings on your union under the Goddess, in Her name,” the priestess continues, motioning with her hands in a rapid fashion. “Blessings of a fruitful union and a lasting bond. The bond of mates, the bond designated by Her Holiness, the most precious gift of our Goddess.”
I wince a bit. Mates. Could we be just that? I’d feel it if we were, wouldn’t I?
It reminds me of how different I am from Maddy and those standing behind me. I’m not the average wolf. As much as I know about the Beasts who once guarded the Goddess in ancient lore, there was never a single mention of their ability to have mates.
But Maddy could have a mate once her wolf returns. I want that for her, so I allow the priestess to tie that long, silken length of white fabric around our hands, joining us as we clasp each other's wrists, and she places a single moonstone set in pure silver over the fabric.
I look into my wife’s eyes and see her as I once saw her at the ball. I don’t feel the slight burn of the silver penetrating the fabric, a simple test of our intentions. I just stare into those stormy blue eyes and lose myself to them, swept into a memory of holding her close as we waltzed around the ballroom almost four years ago now.
I lean toward her and kiss her, tilting my lips over hers, ignoring the fact we’re being watched, and this breaks tradition. I can feel her smile as she leans into the kiss, her cheeks wet with tears of what I hope is happiness.
I can allow myself this moment. I can allow myself some joy today, tonight, knowing tomorrow morning I’ll rise from our bed and dress for war before the sun comes up.
“Man and wife,” the priestess sighs somewhere nearby, and a soft chuckle from the crowd echoes through the room. “Now, onto the next item on our list today. We must crown a new Luna.”