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Teach Me to Feel

Chapter 29

Ch. 29 / 30 Apr 17, 2026

[Lottie’s POV]

The room reshapes itself around the revelation like furniture rearranging after an earthquake. Richard releases Oliver and steps back, clearing his throat with the deliberate composure of a man who has just experienced something seismic and is determined to appear unshaken.

His eyes are red-rimmed. His hands tremble slightly as they smooth his jumper. But he is standing. Still standing. That feels like more than we deserved to hope for.

Mum has not spoken.

She sits frozen on the sofa, staring at me with an expression caught somewhere between hurt and bewilderment. The mother who rebuilt herself from ruins. The woman who finally found happiness after fifteen years of catastrophic failures.

Looking at her daughter like she's never seen her before.

"I'd like to speak with Charlotte alone." Her voice is quiet. Controlled in a way that makes my stomach clench with immediate dread.

Oliver's hand finds mine briefly—a squeeze of solidarity before I release him. His eyes communicate everything words cannot carry: courage, support, the unspoken promise that whatever happens next, we're facing it together.

I follow my mother into the kitchen.

The door clicks shut behind us with the finality of a prison cell. Mum turns on me immediately, her composure cracking like ice beneath sudden weight.

"How long?" The question emerges sharp. Accusatory. Nothing like the warm mother who greeted us at the door thirty minutes ago.

"Weeks." The honest answer tastes like ash. "Since before the wedding, if you count the wine bar."

Her eyes widen. The wine bar. The hickey I hid beneath Victorian collars. The secret that predates her marriage entirely.

"How does that even work?”

"Gemma introduced us. I had no idea who he was until dinner that first night. Didn't remember what he looked like." I push forward despite her expression darkening with every word. "By then it was already too complicated to untangle."

"Complicated." She laughs—a harsh, broken sound that bears no resemblance to her usual warmth. "You've been sleeping with your stepbrother for weeks and complicated is the word you choose?"

"Mum—"

"Don't." She raises one hand like a traffic barrier. "Don't 'Mum' me right now, Charlotte. I am trying very hard not to say something I'll regret."

The kitchen feels smaller than I remember. The walls pressing inward like they did in that elevator. Except this time, Oliver isn't here to kiss the panic away.

"We were trying to protect you." The explanation sounds inadequate even as it leaves my mouth. "You'd finally found happiness. After Dad, after James, after Michael—"

"So you lied to me." Her voice rises with each word. "For weeks. You stood beside me at my wedding knowing you'd already—"

She can't finish the sentence. Her hand presses against her mouth like she's physically holding back words too terrible to release.

"I was afraid," I admit quietly. "Afraid of ruining everything you'd built. The secrecy felt protective at first. Then it became its own prison."

"Protective?" Mum's laugh is bitter now. Sharp-edged. "You call hiding this from your own mother protective? I felt like an idiot, Charlotte. Standing there at the reception, watching you two together, convincing myself I was imagining the tension."

My chest tightens. "You noticed?"

"Of course I noticed. I'm your mother." Her eyes fill with tears she's fighting desperately not to shed. "But I told myself it was nothing. Told myself my daughter would never keep something this significant from me."

The accusation lands like a physical blow. Every word precisely aimed at the vulnerable places I've been protecting since childhood.

"This is exactly what your father did." Her voice breaks on the comparison. "Secrets and lies and elaborate performances while I believed everything was fine. Do you have any idea how that felt? Discovering the man I trusted had been hiding his entire real life from me?"

"I'm not Dad." The defence emerges more forcefully than intended. "This isn't the same situation at all."

"Isn't it?" She crosses her arms defensively. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks remarkably similar. Someone I love choosing deception over honesty. Making decisions that affect my entire family without including me."

The kitchen clock ticks its steady rhythm. A car passes outside. Normal sounds for an entirely abnormal moment.

"I was afraid you'd make me choose." The confession emerges raw. Unfiltered. "Between Oliver and you. Between what I wanted and what would make you comfortable."

"So instead you chose to deceive me indefinitely?"

"I chose to delay a conversation I wasn't ready for." My voice cracks despite every effort at control. "Because losing you terrified me more than the hiding did."

Mum is silent for a long moment. Her expression cycles through emotions I cannot catalogue—hurt, anger, something that might be understanding before it hardens into resolution.

"I need time." The words emerge flat. Final. "I can't process this right now. Not with both of you here, looking at me like I'm supposed to simply accept this and move forward."

"Mum, please—"

"No." She shakes her head firmly. "You've had weeks to process. I've had fifteen minutes. That's not fair, Charlotte. None of this is fair."

Richard appears in the kitchen doorway. His expression suggests he's heard enough to understand the temperature of this conversation.

"Perhaps we should all have dinner," he offers cautiously. "Discuss this properly over—"

"I don't want them here right now, Richard." Mum's voice carries a finality that brooks no argument. "I need space. I need to think. I cannot sit across a table from them pretending this is something we can resolve over pasta."

The rejection stings more than I expected. The mother who always wanted me closer, now pushing me away with both hands.

Richard nods slowly. His eyes find Oliver's with something approaching apology—one father acknowledging that his acceptance doesn't automatically extend to his wife's reaction.

"Perhaps tomorrow," he suggests quietly. "When everyone's had time to process."

Oliver's hand finds my elbow. Gentle. Grounding. The touch of someone who understands we've reached the limits of what this conversation can accomplish today.

"We'll go." His voice carries the composure I've lost entirely. "Call us when you're ready to talk more."

Mum doesn't respond. Just stands in her kitchen with arms wrapped around herself like armour against the people she loves.

We gather ourselves and move toward the door. Each step away from her feels like walking through water—heavy, resistant, wrong in ways I cannot articulate.

At the threshold, I turn back one final time.

"I love you, Mum. I'm sorry I hurt you."

She meets my eyes briefly. The hurt there is devastating—but beneath it, something else. Something that might become forgiveness eventually, when the wound stops bleeding.

"I know." Her voice is quiet. Exhausted. "I just need time, Charlotte."

The door closes behind us with soft finality.

Oliver's car waits in the driveway. We climb in without speaking. The engine starts. The house recedes in the rearview mirror.

His hand finds mine on the gearshift. Neither of us speaks. The silence says everything.

We did the hard thing. Told the truth. Faced the consequences.

And now we wait to see what survives.