Why the hell am I so unfortunate? Why is this shit called love so fucking unfair to me?
Why does it seem like fate has vowed to sentence me to misery? It seems like life has vow to screw me until I lose my sanity! I was just getting to cloud nine, and my star just about to shine, but now I have been ripped off my desperately anticipated . Life sucks!
I snap to the driver poking her face at my door, yanking his hand away from my . "Are you okay, miss? I have been calling you, but..."
"I. Am. Fucking. Fine!" My apologies for being such an elitist bitch! That is just the way to hide the pain that is tearing me apart.
"Sorry," the driver mumbles, a sorry that rings with the sound of irritation.
I drag myself out of this damned cab, pay my fare, and start towards the shop. I don't collecting the change or fishing my phone, which has been freaking buzzing in handbag since I can recall. It must be Grace. Her ass must be itching for gossip. I she doesn't get on my nerves because I am not in the fucking mood.
The coffee shop looks beautiful. The customers are at mediocre capacity. It's never during the day, but never empty or dull either. I circumvent darting my eyes to avoid appalling the customers with my red nose and eyes, and I saunter into my office.
The door to my office opens again just as I slumber into the seat, and I curse this monger. What the hell! Can't she at least give me a break? Like, let me breathe for a freaking sec?
"Hey! What the hell happened, Ellie? Why do you look like a mess?" She rants, and and concern register in her voice.
I know she cares way too much, but I don't need her nagging right now. I don't need or anything. I need only my pathetic, broken self. I want to be alone to figure what is so phenomenal about that jerk that is making my heart bleed the way it is .
"Leave me alone, Grace!" I mumble, blowing my sore nose.
"Come on, Ellie! Talk to me!" She lifts her feet one after another towards me.
"I said I needed to be alone, Grace! Please?" I stop her in her trail, astonishing her my upheavals. "Lock the door behind you and make sure no one disturbs me."
She knows better than to insist. She turns around while I reach for my bag on the table.
I thought it was grace calling, but I think I was wrong because the damn phone is still , making my ears itch! I was right about one thing, though. That jerk has more to do with me anymore. He has no incentive to call at all. I am no longer sweet, weird Ellie; maybe I never was. Perhaps he wielded the phrase to coax me his trap and get what he wanted, and he succeeded.
I gave him more than I should have. I should have put a periphery to my affection for , but, by bad! I had to fuse my heart with lusts and desires, and now I am over the consequences of my imbecility. Will I ever learn?
I fish out by phone, and I curse at the caller. Another budge of idiotic judges.
Sherry. And I can gamble on my remaining dignity that she is beside Rose. Nuisance ! Ridiculous friends who think I can't make it in life alone. I don't need their , stupid lectures right now. Life is mercilessly teaching me valuable lessons, and
I don't need another teacher. I put the phone into silent mode and toss it back into my with annoyance.
Deep inside, I wish it was him calling. I don't know if I would have picked up the call, at least it would mean he is not done. It's probably not over between us. Or at least realized he was an overly irksome dick in the ass for nothing and perhaps wanted apologize. Me and my mind, huh?
Is this really the end for us? This was just when things started coming off so real. All beautiful memories and steamy moments? The fun, laughter, and joy that we had that short period? Was all that really worthless to him? Because for me, it meant world. He meant the world.
Can I ever get over him?
I slope my hands on the table, plopping my head on them and sealing my eyes in an to sleep and forget about that bittersweet nightmare, but I know I am . I want to assume, even now, that all shit did happen back in his office.
That he did not treat me like that. I want to sleep over that nightmare. Probably, , I will wake up with new flesh memeries. I will still be in good yerms with Damian when next I peel my eyes.
But, who am I kidding. The unnerving figure of that beast that encountered back in office is still fuming at me in my mind. There is no way I can fall asleep. There is sign of it. Unfortunately, I will have to stay awake and deal with these pains and questions for I don't know how long.
Why am I so in love with you, Damian Almeda? Why does love freaking hurt so ? Why am I so unfortunate in love? Why does everyone that I love end up me? Well, except fpr my mother. The rest are just heartless hypocrates!
Hurting me like I am not human. Like they don’t care at all. Or maybe they really cared.
How can you trash me like that? Did I mean absolutely nothing at all to you? Our sex, our moments—nothing meant a thing to you.