“Smells like spring in here,” Seraphina laughs as she comes over to sit beside me on the couch. All through her house, she has potted plants that have yet to bloom. Granted, it’s winter, but I figured I’d bring them to life a little early. Seraphina gazes around her living room in awe. “Magic is such a blessing. I know mine is nowhere near like yours, but it gives me joy.”
Seraphina doesn’t know how she came to get her magic. She never found a mate, and with that, she never had any children of her own. Ryker and Cedric were all she had. As far as her powers, she just woke up one day and had them. What I don’t understand is how someone like her never found a mate. She’s been in the world for almost five hundred years. The same goes for a couple of the older males in the pack. They never found their true mates either. If there was ever a person who deserved a mate, it’s Seraphina. I hate she never got the chance.
“Are you happy being alone?” I ask her.
Seraphina sips her chamomile tea and smiles. “I’m not alone, Laila. I have everything I could ever want. Ryker and Cedric are like sons to me. Our pack has grown. We have little ones coming soon. And the mate magic is coming back to our kind.” She places a hand on mine and squeezes it. “I’m so happy for you and Cedric.”
I don’t know what all Seraphina knows, but I tell her everything, even the things I haven’t told Cedric. The only thing he doesn’t know is that I could lose my fae magic if I bond with him. Taking it all in, Seraphina walks to her front door, deep in thought by the expression on her face.
“I could really use your wisdom right now,” I tell her.
She leans against the doorframe, her white hair hanging down to her waist. “Laila, I’m a firm believer that we control our destiny.” Her bright blue eyes turn my way. “It’s true when you mate with Cedric, you’ll take part of him in you. Who knows, you may be able to shift after you complete the bond.”
“What about my magic? Do you think I’ll lose it?”
“Do you think you will?” she counters. There’s a curious expression on her face I can’t decipher.
“I don’t know,” I reply.
She sets her cup down on the kitchen counter and walks back over to the couch to sit down. “That’s not the answer I was hoping to hear from you.”
I shrug. “I don’t know anything, Seraphina. Do I want to lose my magic? Of course not. It’s all I’ve known my entire life. My fae blood makes me who I am.”
Seraphina nods. “Exactly. You will always be fae, Laila. No one knows for sure what’s going to happen to you when you complete the bond. Not even Beck.” She cups the side of my cheek, her touch motherly. I’ve never known what having a mother was like. “Bonding with Cedric is only going to make you stronger. Just because you might unleash your wolf doesn’t mean you’ll lose the fae part of yourself.” Her gaze grows concerned. “Not unless you plan on embracing your fae side with Beck?”
“No,” I gasp, hating that she even mentioned it. “I would never do that to Cedric.” My heart isn’t divided when it comes to Cedric and Beck. I feel a connection to Beck, but it’s not like that. I know I can trust him. The wolves might not, but I do. He knew my mother, and my mother trusted his family.
Seraphina breathes a sigh of relief, and she relaxes. “Thank goodness. I’ve seen what the rage can do to our men.”
So have I. Then again, I wished it upon the Sierra pack. They deserved to suffer. Silence fills the room, but then a warmth radiates from inside me. It’s the bond letting me know that Cedric is near. A few seconds later, the sound of his truck speeds down the gravel road. He’s in a hurry, which isn’t good.
Seraphina’s brows furrow, and she focuses on the door. “He’s not happy.”
I rub my chest. “Yeah, I can tell.”
Whatever happened in the meeting must’ve pissed him off. I can see him through the window as he pulls up. He gets out and slams the door, his footsteps pounding on the front porch as he comes up the stairs. Seraphina and I both stand as he opens the door. The second he sees me, I can feel some of his anger ebb, but it’s still there.
I walk up to him. “What’s wrong?”
He glances over at Seraphina and then back to me. “The others want to talk to the faerie.”
Eyes wide, I gasp. “Now?”
“Yep.” His jaw clenches. “I have some questions for him too.”
If only I could read his mind. The problem is that I don’t know how to call for Beck. He usually just shows up when he wants. Cedric and Seraphina both stare at me, but I don’t know what to say. I lift my arms in the air. “How am I supposed to get in touch with Beck? I don’t think he has a cell, and I doubt they’d work in the Land of the Fae.”
“They don’t,” a voice calls out behind me. A growl erupts from Cedric, and Seraphina’s eyes widen. I jerk around, and there’s Beck, looking like a warrior prince. Beck smiles and tilts his head to the side, ignoring Cedric’s warning. This isn’t going to go well at all. “You called?”
Cedric steps up next to me and faces off with him. Seraphina grabs his arm. “Now isn’t the time, son. You asked your mate to get him here, and he’s here. Let her talk to him.”
I know he doesn’t want to leave me alone with him, but he storms out the door, and Seraphina follows him. Beck gazes around Seraphina’s living room and chuckles. “He doesn’t like me, does he?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I stare at him incredulously. “I wonder why.”
His expression changes, and he sighs. “You needed me for a reason. What is it?”
“Some of the men in the pack, including my father, have some questions. Do you mind talking to them?”
He nods. “Of course. I’ve been waiting for you to tell them. It turns out I have some updates.”
I don’t like the sound of that. “What kind of updates?”
“Not good ones, I’m afraid.” My stomach drops, and he starts for the door. That’s the last thing I wanted to hear. He walks outside, and I follow him. Cedric glares at him, and Beck glares back but doesn’t say anything. He steps in front of me, blocking my view of Cedric. “I’ll meet you there.”
“Why don’t you just ride with us?”
“He can’t,” Seraphina answers. “Faeries can’t ride in cars. Too much steel and iron.”
I remember reading that in my mother’s journals. My father told me she couldn’t ride with him when they went anywhere. Iron is poisonous to fae and can even kill them. I’ve never been affected by it.
Anger flashes in Beck’s icy blue gaze, and he lowers his voice. “She’s right. I just don’t like to announce our weaknesses. Just whisper my name when you get there, and I’ll come.” And just like that, he takes a step back and disappears.
Seraphina hops in Cedric’s truck, and he walks toward me. “I figured you being my mate is how I can still feel you with you carrying the protection stone, but what’s his reason? How can he still find you?” I can sense his jealousy and distrust.
I shrug. “Don’t know, but I’m curious to find out.” If he can find me, who’s to say that Dorian can’t. I might not be as protected as I thought.
Cedric opens the passenger’s side door for me. “At least the iron doesn’t bother you.”
Getting in the truck, I concentrate on how it feels. Never once have I ever felt weak by being around iron. My shifter side must protect me from it. I look at Cedric and Seraphina. “I feel fine in here.”
Seraphina nods. “That’s a good thing. If the dark fae comes for you, we know they can’t use iron to hinder you.”
Cedric gets in the truck and drives us the short distance to Ryker’s. My father’s car is in the driveway, along with Sebastian and Micah’s. I get out and whisper Beck’s name. He appears almost instantly, his expression guarded with his hand by the hilt of his sword. I have no doubt he knows how to use it. Cedric comes to my side and stands protectively next to me.
“Everyone’s inside,” Cedric tells him.
Beck looks to me, and I nod. “I promise it’s not a trap. It’s my family in there.”
He moves out of the way, and Cedric follows closely behind me to block Beck from getting close. When I walk inside, my father pulls me in for a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me what’s going on?”
I hug him hard. “There was never a right time.”
Everyone waits in silence as Beck comes in. Faith sidles closer to me and whispers in my ear. “Oh my God, he’s gorgeous.” Cedric overhears her and glares at her. In return, she just winks and moves closer to me. “But Cedric’s cuter.”
That makes me smile. Cedric’s already on edge as it is. I know being around Beck pisses him off. Beck stands by the door, and I step toward him. “Everyone, this is Beck. He’s the son of King Brayden and Queen Ariella of the winter court. They were friends of my mother’s.” I start with Ryker and give Beck everyone’s names.
My father makes the first move to speak to him. “Alina talked about your mother often.”
Beck nods. “I heard of you too. Alina’s relationship with a wolf was quite the story around the court.” He glances over at me. “My people are curious.”
Cedric radiates with negative energy, but looking at him, his clenched jaw is the only thing giving him away. I don’t see how anyone can hold in that kind of anger. I move closer to him so that our arms touch, but it only helps him a little.
Ryker is the next to speak up. “Tell us about this dark fae. What are we up against?”
Beck goes into detail, explaining how Dorian's searching for fae to join his army or to force them into opening a portal into the Land of the Fae. And lastly, he says how the only way to keep everyone safe is for me to go to the Land of the Fae until the war is over. The tension in the room is so thick I can barely breathe. Cedric hangs on by a thread, and I have a feeling he’s about to explode. My father stands alone in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest and his lips pursed as if he’s studying everyone in the room.
While Sebastian, Micah, and Ryker whisper amongst themselves, Cedric’s resolve dissipates. He glares right at Beck. “Now that you’re done telling everyone how you want to take away my mate, why don’t you tell us where this Dorian fuck is? And how come you can still find Laila when the stone is supposed to keep her undetected?”
Beck glares right back at him. “We don’t know where Dorian is. My men can’t find him. He could be anywhere right now.”
Cedric laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Of course, you can’t. All the more reason for you to take Laila away.”
Beck shakes his head. “I’m not taking her anywhere unless she wants to. And to answer your question,” he says, his eyes softening when he looks at me, “I’ve been connected to Laila since I was six years old. When a faerie makes a vow, it’s unbreakable. It’s not like it is here where promises can be broken.” He turns his icy blue stare back to Cedric. “That’s why our words have to be chosen carefully. I made a vow to watch over Laila, so when she needs my help, all she has to do is call out my name.”
My mouth gapes in shock. I had no idea that’s how we’re connected. I remember reading something about the importance of words in my mother’s journals but never gave much thought about it. Now I’ll have to go back and see what she said.
Cedric growls low in his chest, but I take his hand. “He’s here to help,” I murmur, hoping to calm him down.
His attention jerks to me. “Who’s to say he’ll let you come back if you go? He knows none of us can cross over if he doesn’t.”
Beck’s eyes soften when he looks at me. “I wouldn’t do that, Laila. You would be free to come and go as you please. That is if you stay unmated.”
The second he says the word unmated, Cedric moves so fast he’s a blur in my vision. One minute he’s beside me, and the next, he slams Beck against the wall. Before I can rush to help, Faith holds me back. “Let them be.” Ryker slowly moves toward them but doesn’t make a move to stop Cedric.
Cedric has his arm across Beck’s neck, which would choke a human, but Beck doesn’t seem to be affected. “Why the fuck does it matter if she’s mated or not? That’s none of your goddamned business,” Cedric snarls.
Beck nods over at me but keeps his focus on Cedric. I know what he’s going to say, and the words are out of Beck’s mouth before I can stop him. “If she mates with you, she could lose her magic. If that happens, she can never cross into the Land of the Fae.”
The whole room falls silent. Faith is the only one in the room who knew the truth. Cedric backs away from Beck and turns to me, his wolf eyes staring back at me. “Is it true? Mating with me could cost you your magic?”
I shrug. “No one knows for sure.”
A wave of guilt mixed with sadness crashes into me. Cedric bolts out of the house, and I chase after him. “Cedric, wait!”
By the time I get onto the front porch, his clothes are on the ground, and his howl echoes through the woods. The farther he gets, the more the hole in my heart grows. I pick up his clothes and hold them to my chest. I want to chase after him. The urge gets more robust with each second that passes. It would be so easy to shift, but there’s still a wall keeping my wolf at bay. If I close my eyes, I can see it holding her back.
Beck appears beside me, and I can feel my father close by. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?” Beck asks.
Wiping away my tears, I keep my eyes on the woods. The sun has started to dip behind the mountains, giving the tops of the trees an orange glow. “Because I don’t want to believe I’ll lose my magic. I’m trying to hold out hope.”
“I know it’s a hard choice, Laila. Your magic is who you are.”
“Her wolf is who she is, too,” my father adds. He comes up on my other side and takes my hand, his blue eyes weary. “If you could find a way to embrace both sides of yourself, I don’t think you’ll have a problem. You’ve never given your wolf a chance.”
He’s right. I’ve pushed her back until all that remained was my magic. I turn to Beck, and he nods. “Your father has a point.” He looks off into the distance and sighs. “I have to go. If you need me, you know what to do.” And just like that, he steps through a portal into the Land of the Fae. A part of me really wants to see what it’s like to experience the world my mother grew up in, but like any world, no place is perfect. I clutch Cedric’s clothes tighter to my chest. They smell just like him.
“Cedric’s probably mad at me,” I whisper, glancing up at my father.
He stares down at me, his smile sad. “He’s not mad, Laila. The man just found out your bond might come with a price. He knows how much magic means to you.”
I can’t imagine what all is going through his mind. “I have to talk to him.”
“He’ll be at the lake,” Ryker calls out. I turn toward the house to see Ryker on the front porch. He points out in the direction of the lake. “It’s where he likes to go.”
“Thanks, Ryker,” I say quickly. I don’t want to waste another minute. I turn to my father. “I want to go alone,” I tell him.
My father huffs and stands back. “Just be careful. Don’t lose your stone.”
It’s still secure in my pocket. I rush off into the woods, and there’s so much snow it’s hard to run through. My magic swells up inside me, and when it bursts from my fingers the snow is blasted from the path. When I get to the lake, the wind stops, and the snow falls back to the ground. Twilight has taken over, giving the area a mystical glow. I look around, but there’s no sign of Cedric. I can’t see him, but I can feel him.
I scan the areas around the lake but then stop when I sense him right behind me. “You should’ve told me, Laila.”
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “I knew you wouldn’t take it well. Plus,” I say, turning around to face him, “we don’t …” The words get caught in my throat. I’ve seen plenty of naked men in my time, but Cedric is different. The snow falls onto his skin and melts on contact, giving his body a glow in the darkness. His arms are sculpted, and so are his washboard abs. The heat rises to my cheeks, but it also goes lower. Cedric can sense the need in me, and he responds just like a male would. Now, of course, is not the right time. I hold out his clothes, and he takes them, his hands sliding against mine. Every time we touch, it takes my breath away.
“We don’t what?” he asks, his glowing gray eyes staring into mine. “What were you going to say?”
He’s so close, and all I want is to kiss him, to tell him things will be okay. But will they? So much is going on around us. Not only do we have rogue wolves lurking about, but we have to worry about Dorian and the other dark fae. Nothing in my life has been simple. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be now.
As I look into his eyes, I can’t help but get lost in them. The pull feels stronger like the earth is drawing me closer to him. It’s different than what I’ve felt before. Cedric’s breath picks up, and he moves closer. “I was going to say,” I begin, whispering the words, “that we don’t know if I’ll lose my magic or not.”
He shakes his head. “And that’s the problem. We don’t know. I can’t ask you to give up who you are to be with me. That’s not how this works.” He steps back and puts on his clothes.
“So what are you saying exactly? That you’re not going to mate with me?”
His eyes flash, and he growls. “You know I want to, Laila. I’m just not going to make you choose. I don’t want you to hate me or regret your decision if you decide to go through with it.”
I don’t know what comes over me, but I wrap my arms around his neck. “There’s still hope.” I kiss him, and his arms fold around me, his grip tight as he deepens it. Everything feels right, but then he pulls back.
“Your wolf calls to me,” he whispers, placing his forehead to mine.
I feel her too. “She’s there, just in the background.”
Brows furrowed, he steps away. “Yeah, I can sense that. But I also get the feeling you’re keeping her there on purpose. Why?”
It’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me. I’ve known for a long time why my fae side is dominant. I just never talked about it. The Sierra pack never cared, just as long as I could use my magic. Turning away from him, I stare out at the frozen lake. A part of me feels ashamed for my reasoning, but also justified. I don’t know if he’ll understand.
“You can be honest with me, Laila,” Cedric murmurs. “I want to know.”
Closing my eyes, I breathe in the cold, crisp air. When I open my eyes, the moon starts to peek through the clouds. In a couple of weeks, it’ll be full. Cedric and I haven’t known each other long, but if we mate, it could save me from Dorian, but only if my fae magic gets taken over by my shifter side. We don’t even know if that will happen. I could mate with Cedric and still have my fae magic, hence, leaving me open to Dorian and putting my pack in harm’s way. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Cedric places a hand on my shoulder and slides it down my arm. I slowly turn to face him, his gray eyes searching mine when I look into them. “I grew up seeing the brutality of the Sierra pack. I didn’t want to be like them. It made me hate the shifter part of me. That’s why I embraced my magic and ignored my wolf. I pushed that part of me away.”
Cedric’s eyes soften, and he cups my cheeks. “Not all of us are bad, Laila.”
I bring a hand up and hold it over his. “I know. By the time I realized that it was too late. Being around you has helped, though. She doesn’t feel so far away.”
His smile is sad. “The question is … do you even want that part of yourself?”
The pain on his face makes my heart hurt. I lean into his touch. “Of course, I do. I just don’t want the pack to suffer because of what I am. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you all safe. If only I knew what to do.”
Cedric tilts his head to the side, his lips lowering to mine. “You don’t need to worry about the pack. We’re strong. For now, let’s just hope that stone keeps you hidden.”
“Let’s hope,” I whisper. The second he closes his lips over mine, my worries seem to melt away. I just wish it would last.