The drive back should've been awkward. Post-virginity-loss car rides probably ranked high on the list of potentially uncomfortable situations. Except it wasn't.
Jake had the radio on—some cheerful country bullshit about trucks and beer and loving your woman. Normally I'd mock it. Instead I was singing along badly, his hand on my thigh, feeling like I'd cracked some impossible code.
"You're in a good mood," he observed. Understatement of the century.
"Just had sex under the stars with a cowboy who reads Cormac McCarthy. Living my best life."
He was smiling. Actually smiling. Not that half-smirk thing he did when he was trying not to show emotion. Real, genuine happiness.
We'd broken through. Finally. All those walls he'd built—guilt about my father, age gap anxiety, whatever baggage from my mother—didn't matter anymore. We'd crossed the line and instead of catastrophe, there was this. Easy. Right. Normal.
Should've known better than to trust normal.
Sarah's car was in the driveway when we pulled up. Not just parked—hasty, like she'd arrived in a hurry. My post-sex glow dimmed approximately thirty percent.
"Why is Sarah here?" Tried to sound casual. Failed spectacularly.
Jake's expression shifted. Concern replacing contentment. "Don't know. She doesn't usually come by uninvited."
We got out. I tried not to look like I'd spent the night getting thoroughly fucked and then stargazing. Based on Jake's hair and my missing underwear situation, pretty sure we were failing at subtlety.
Found everyone in the barn. Bear was on a blanket, Sarah kneeling beside him with her vet bag open. Tommy looked exhausted—that specific kind of exhausted that came from pulling an all-nighter. Bear's leg was bandaged, his usual golden energy replaced by pathetic whimpering.
"What happened?" Jake was across the barn instantly. Dropped to his knees beside his dog.
"Stray pack got him." Tommy rubbed his face. "Heard barking around five AM. By the time I got outside, they'd scattered and Bear was—" He gestured at the wounds. "Called Sarah. She came straight over."
"Is he okay?" My voice came out smaller than intended. Bear had been the first living thing on this ranch to like me unconditionally. Seeing him hurt did something to my chest.
"He'll be fine." Sarah's hands moved efficiently. Professional. "Bites are clean. No arterial damage. Mostly defensive wounds. He tried to fight back." She looked at Jake. "He's lucky Tommy found him when he did."
Jake's jaw was doing that thing. The clenching thing that meant he was processing emotions he didn't know how to handle. His hand stroked Bear's head gently. "You're okay, buddy. You're okay."
Bear's tail did a weak thump. Tried to lick Jake's hand. Even half-dead the dog was a sweetheart.
"Where were you guys?" Tommy's question was innocent. Curious. Definitely not accusatory. "Tried calling. Jake's phone went to voicemail."
Oh. Right. We'd been otherwise occupied. Multiple times. In various positions.
"There was an intense card game." Jake's voice was steady. Gave nothing away. "Phone must've died."
"Cards, huh?" Sarah's tone was carefully neutral. But her eyes flicked between us. Taking in my rumpled shirt. Jake's sex hair. The general air of two people who'd definitely not spent the night watching celestial phenomena.
Well. Not just celestial phenomena anyway.
"Yeah." Kept my face blank. "One of the cowboys didn't want to pay his card debt, and it almost led to a fight. An eventful evening, in short."
Sarah's mouth twitched. "I'm sure it was."
Awkward silence. Bear whimpered. Jake focused entirely on his dog like that would make the tension disappear.
"Anyway." Sarah packed up her supplies. "Keep him quiet for a few days. Antibiotics twice daily. He should be back to normal by next week." She stood, brushed off her knees. "Walk me out?"
Directed at Jake. Not a question.
He hesitated. Looked at me. Some silent communication I couldn't read. Then nodded. "Yeah. Sure."
They left. I stayed with Tommy and Bear. The dog looked pathetic. I sat down next to him, let him rest his head on my lap. Gentle scratches behind his ears.
"You okay?" Tommy asked. "You look—" He stopped. "Different."
"Different how?"
"Happier. Less—" He gestured vaguely. "Less like you're about to murder someone or burst into tears. More like—" He stopped again. "Never mind."
"It was just a fun evening with a group of people, not with cattle, that’s it." I tried to make a sarcastic joke, but from the look on Tommy's face, I realized he didn't really believe me.
"Well." He grinned. "None of my business. Got it."
Outside, I could see Jake and Sarah talking by her car. Couldn't hear what they were saying but Sarah's body language was—something. Not angry. Not jealous. Just—knowing. Like she'd figured something out and was deciding whether to comment.
They talked for maybe five minutes. Then Sarah hugged him. Quick. Friendly. Got in her car.
Came back toward the barn. Stopped when she saw me through the open door.
"Before I go, I wanted to ask you something. Are you going to the rodeo tomorrow?" She changed subjects smoothly. "Haven't seen you compete in ages."
"Planning on it." Jake's hand found my lower back. Casual. Possessive. "Figured I'd show Adison what a real rodeo looks like."
"She should definitely come." Sarah's smile widened. "It's quite a show. Jake's actually good. Won't embarrass himself." Teasing now. Light. "I might buy tickets. Cheer for you from the stands."
"You don't need tickets. You're always on the medical team."
"True. But cheering from the medical tent lacks a certain enthusiasm." She was flirting. Light. Friendly. Testing maybe whether Jake would flirt back.
He didn't. Just squeezed my back slightly. "Adison can cheer loud enough for both of you."
Message received. Sarah's expression shifted again. Something like acceptance. Maybe relief that she'd read the situation correctly and wasn't going to make it weird.
"Well." She grabbed her keys. "I should go. Need to check on the Morrison's mare. Call me if Bear's condition changes."
"Will do. Thanks for coming out."
"Anytime." She started toward her car. Stopped. Looked back at me. "Take care of him, okay? He's a good one."
Talking about Jake. Not the dog.
"I know," I said. "I will."
She nodded. Got in her car. Drove away.
Jake and I stood there in the driveway. His hand still on my back. The morning sun fully up now. Reality settling back in around us.
"So." I leaned into him. "Rodeo tomorrow?"
"If you want. Fair warning—it's loud, dusty, and there's a non-zero chance I'll get thrown on my ass."
"Sounds perfect." Meant it. "I'll be the one cheering inappropriately loud when you inevitably do something stupidly dangerous."
"That's all I ask." He kissed my temple. Soft. "Come on. Let's check on Bear. Then maybe grab some sleep. We've been up all night."
"Whose fault is that?"
"Entirely yours." But he was smiling. "You and your burgundy lace situation."
We headed back to the barn. Tommy pretended not to notice we'd been gone. Bear thumped his tail weakly when we returned. Everything felt simultaneously normal and completely transformed.
I'd lost my virginity. Watched the sunrise with a man who saw me for who I actually was. Met the woman who'd been sleeping with him and survived that awkward interaction. And tomorrow I'd watch him risk life and limb at some cowboy sporting event while probably falling more in love with him.
Normal, definitely. Not complicated at all.
But watching Jake kneel beside his dog, gentle and careful and completely different from the man who'd pinned me against a barn wall, I realized I didn't care about complicated.
Tomorrow would be loud and dusty and probably terrifying watching him compete. But I'd be there. Cheering. Being his.