"Despite meeting such people, my troubles weren't nearly even over, I suffered from severe PTSD. I had nightmares which led to insomnia and severe depression, which eventually almost led to suicide and it was all because I had tried to hide my pain from the people who cared. I thought I could handle it all on my own but I couldn't, I needed the love and support.
Sometimes, we don't need plans, plots or schemes, we just need people to talk to, a willing shoulder to cry on and let it all out. My case became so bad that I attempted suicide but a friend managed to save me in time. I finally opened up to my new family and got the much needed relief but then, I found out about another disturbing fact, I was pregnant.
I had gotten pregnant from rape. I hated my baby's father so I tried to get an abortion at first but I just couldn't so I decided to keep my baby and raise my child to be much better than her father and I'm glad that I did. I have a wonderful family who are willing to support me through everything and there's really nothing more I can ask for.
The most amazing thing that happened to me was love. Love came into my life in the form of Kayden and lifted me when I thought that I was worthless. I thought I didn't deserve to be loved but he proved me wrong and showed me the possibilities.
He took away all the pain, bitterness and loneliness and now I can't imagine my life without him in it. Let love lead, Margallo. Just let it come into your life and take the pain, the insecurities and the hatred away, just like it had done mine. Let it brighten your life and bring you so much joy.
Have you really asked yourself this? What would you gain by taking away Elsie's child?
Do you really want her to feel the same pain you went through when you lost yours? Will it truly make you happy to see them in pain and tear them apart? Look deep inside yourself and ask yourself. What is it you truly want? Revenge or happiness?" Those were the words that the last note read and it dropped on Margallo like a bomb blast.
I saw genuine tears fall down her cheeks for the first time ever.
"Why are you telling me this?" Was all she could ask.
I grabbed her hands in mine and kissed them before writing a quick note to her.
"I'm telling you to let you know that you have a choice. Why pay bad for bad when you can forgive and live so much happier? You don't have to give in to your darkness. Just keep fighting your inner demons and give life one more chance." She read the note and broke into tears.
"Why are you trying to confuse me? Richard was the one who sent you, wasn't he? He's trying to emotionally blackmail me so he can get out of trouble." She accused me and tore the note up in pieces. I knew I couldn't provide the chance for doubt to creep up in her mind again and ruin all my hard work.
I really do believe we can settle this amicably.
I shook my head no and placed her hand on my chest to feel my beating heart. She looked into my eyes and saw my sincerity and then she broke. I grabbed her into a hug and patted her back softly, letting her cry onto my shoulders.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I've been so mean to you and I put your life and your child's life in danger because of my selfish motives. It was very childish of me, I couldn't handle the pain and I let it destroy me and cause me to walk the wrong path.
I've been so lonely ever since Richard left me. I don't want revenge, all I want is to be happy and it was foolish of me to think that happiness would come from that revenge.
I'm so sorry, I've hurt a lot of people in the past and I don't know if they'll ever be able to forgive me." She said as she cried and I kept hugging until she calmed down a bit.
I wiped her tears and took my note and pen once more to write her another note.
"It's OK, we all make mistakes but our mistakes don't define us, it's the fact that we're willing to learn from them and change for the better. I'm sure they'll forgive you if you apologize sincerely. But first, why don't you start by forgiving yourself? Stop thinking you were a fool to fall in love and instead think of it as one of life's many lessons. Tell yourself you deserve happiness and go for it, time waits for no wolf. I'd really love it if we could all be friends and one day sit together and laugh over times like this." I handed the note to her and she smiled as she read it.
"Thank you, thank you for this." She said and grabbed me in another hug.
"You're the most sensible, sweetest and kindest person I've met in a long time. Not many people can get through to me but you did because you're special.
You hold so much love and hope despite what you went through in the past and that's very admirable. I wish you all the best in life and I hope you get all the love and happiness you deserve and as for your first jerk of a mate, I sincerely hope he gets what he deserves.
I feel so free for the first time in such a long time, I've finally let out all that pent up anger and pain and it feels so good, I can genuinely smile again and it's all because of you. I'll let all the negative energy go and I'll start a new life from now on." Margallo said and I smiled, proud of myself for what I had achieved.
"You did it Evelyn, you really did it. Congratulations, you managed to reform someone." Tara teased me and my smile widened.
"I'll go apologize to everyone and finally make everything right." Margallo said and I nodded. She turned to leave but suddenly paused.
"You know Evelyn, you're a very special girl. You may not have a voice but you're definitely willing to be heard. I can feel that you'll be a positive impact on a lot of people." She said with a smile and left while I quickly followed behind her.
I had long accepted that I will not be able to speak for the rest of my life and it really doesn't bother me anymore. Truth is, you can't miss what you never had. Today has proved that I don't need a voice in order to be heard or make a positive difference.
As long as there are people who love me, I'm OK just the way I am. I've finally learnt to love myself.