JustinWell this is an interesting turn of events. My current status? I have a drunk Elise sitting
next to me in the cab of my dark SUV as we cruise toward her apartment across town.
Elise, resting her head against the headrest, inhales audibly, letting her breath out slowly. “It smells like you in here.”
I make a confused face. “Ah … my hockey bag’s in the back, so I’m guessing that’s not a com- pliment.” Hockey equipment is about the worst smelling thing you can imagine, and I’m about to mutter an apology when she shakes her head.
“No. It smells like your cologne. Hermès Woods, right?”
I nod. How the fuck does she know what kind of cologne I wear?
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel.
She stares out the window, lost in thought while I focus on not fucking crashing the car. This is a bit surreal being alone with her after all this time, and Owen’s words of warning ring through my head.
I’ve been half hard since she followed me out of the bar, as if my dick remembers the last time we were alone together, and he’s ready to be moved from the bench and be put in the game. And the fact that she’s still sitting there breathing in my scent like it’s her own personal version of heaven isn’t helping things.
Us alone together plus alcohol was how every- thing got so fucked up last time. I can’t let myself repeat our mistakes. I just told her brother that I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. And I’m every form of bad that could possibly happen to her. But damn if I don’t like having her close. I’m tempted to slow the car just to draw out my time with her. Weird, I know.
Satisfied with the radio station she’s found, she stops fiddling with the controls and sits back in her seat, hands resting on her thighs.
“So this breakup…” I attempt small talk. “You okay?”
She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “I’m fine. And you don’t have to pretend you’re worried about me.”
Pretend? Is she high right now?
I know full well that I’m responsible for some, fuck most, of the turmoil in her life over the past few months, and I hate the thought that I’m respon- sible for this too.
She’s the one bright spot in my life, and I can’t handle knowing she’s sad. I would make it my per- sonal mission in life to make her happy if I could. Especially since I know I’m at least partly respon- sible for her heartbreak.
I pull the car to the side of the road, and turn to face her, hands still gripping the wheel so I don’t do anything stupid like reach over and touch her.
“I’m not pretending, Elise. I care about you. I always have. Now let’s try this again. Are you okay?” I enunciate each word slowly, letting them sink in.
She bites her lower lip and nods, those huge gray eyes locked on mine. “I’m okay.”
It doesn’t escape my notice that she doesn’t say I’m good, or I’m great, or I’m fine. She’s okay. I need her to be a hell of a lot better than okay. But at least she’s talking to me. It’s a start, I guess.
I inhale deeply and pull the car back onto the road after checking my mirrors. She smells so good. Like body wash and Elise—like fresh air and sunshine, and those lemon cocktails she had. Fuck, I want to kiss her.
Instead, I start rambling. “I never met the guy, but for what it’s worth, your brother said you were way too good for him.”
Elise grins. “Did he now?”
I nod. “Yeah. And he said that the dude was a douche canoe.” Owen did not say that, but you can’t make me take it back for all the money in the world, not with the way Elise lets out a giggle and covers her mouth with her hand. That sound leav- ing her lips dissolves all the tension in the car.
“Thanks, Justin.”
I swallow down a strange wave of emotion. Man, it feels so good just to be here with her in this moment, talking, laughing. God, I’ve fucking missed this. I’ve missed her friendship more than anything. It’s taken me this exact moment with her
laughing beside me to realize just how much I’ve missed it. I have so many regrets, but losing her as a friend is definitely the biggest.
Our moment over, I focus on the road and get- ting Elise home safe. It’s the least I can do.
“Oh my God, Taco Casa! We have to stop!” Elise calls out beside me, pointing to the neon-lit sign of the fast food restaurant up ahead.
I chuckle and slow the car, pulling into the parking lot at her command.
“Thank you,” she groans. “I never had dinner. I need something more than those dumplings to soak up all this alcohol if I’m going to be teaching America’s youth in the morning.”
I shake my head, and chuckle again, pulling up to the window to order. “Yeah, I’m starved too.”
Elise gives me her order, and I double every- thing, right down to the hot sauce and iced tea.
She smiles at me, and shyly tucks her hair be- hind one ear. Something about that strikes me. She was never shy around me before.
After we order our food, I insist on paying, and then we drive to her place. When we pull up out front, Elise turns to me.
“You want to come inside and eat?”
I know I should say no. There are literally ten thousand reasons why this would be a terrible idea. But tonight’s the first time I’ve seen her laugh in months. If she’s nursing a broken heart, I should be there to cheer her up, right? Or make sure she doesn’t choke on her food. Damn, the lies I’m will- ing to tell myself are getting a little ridiculous— even for me.
Yet I follow her inside, carrying the bag of ta- cos while she holds onto the cups of iced tea. Her place is cute and really girly. I’ve been here once or twice with Owen. It’s much cleaner than our bachelor pad. It smells a lot better too. There’s a pink and orange rug in a sunburst pattern under her gray couch and framed photos on the walls of her family. My gaze lingers on the picture of her par- ents, smiling at each other. Together we head to the couch and each unwrap a taco.
At the first bite, Elise lets out a soft groan. “Oh my God, why are these so good?”
I take a bite of my own and wipe my mouth with one of the two thousand napkins they gave us. “It’s fucking amazing. You know what this reminds me of?”